Title: The Darkness you need
Category: Terra Nova
Ship: Skye/Carter –mentions of Josh/Skye
Genre: Drama/Angst
Rated: PG-13 (cursing)
Word Count: 1748
Spoiler: 'Now you see me'
Summary: She is alone and this one hateful person who takes joy in her pain seems to be to only one to actually see it.
A/N: December prompt post: 'Beauty and the Beast': Carter is a beast, cruel and villainous, taunts her whenever they meet. Skye hates him with every fiber of her being but what she hates more is the way he makes her feel. –Mercscilla. (I hold you responsible for this Mercy)
Thank you to crystalkei for the speed beta and the title.
… … …
She hates them all, she hates that they have her in the palm of their hands, forcing her to bend to their will, holding the only thing in her life that has any value over her head. She hates herself too, for not being strong enough, not smart enough to find a way out of this devil's bargain she's made with them, for betraying Taylor and the colony. She's undermining everything they are working so hard for every time she whispers in the ear of the enemy. But more than anything she hates him.
Mira deals with her like a simple business transaction, the leader of the sixers doesn't goad her or taunt unless she is being absolutely insolent, after three years of playing this role she rarely acts out with the leader, they both know who holds all the cards and in the end it isn't either of them. Mira might be holding her mother as collateral but someone even more powerful is pulling the older woman's strings. Even in her dislike of the woman there is a sense understanding Skye feels from her, almost regret that it's come down to using her to achieve her goals.
But him, Carter, he enjoys every moment of her misery. She's trapped in a web of deceit that is slowly pulling her under and he likes to watch. She sees it in his black eyes that follow her every move as she makes her way through their camp, they don't give her a moment's peace, much less privacy. She hates that he gets to see her at her weakest as she holds her mother's fragile hand in her own, she hates that she can feel his eyes zero in on her tears as they track down her cheeks when her mother tries to give her a brave smile or gives a comforting word only to have her body shudder at the force of her coughs.
She's losing her, the only thing she has, the only person who knows what she is doing and still loves her, who tells her with warm eyes that she's still a good person, when she feels she's anything but.
He watches and she can't do anything about it, she can't yell, she can't attack, she's tried before and all she's gotten is cruel laughter and her wrists bruised from his hard grip. Instead, she tries to desperately to ignore him and share these precious moments with her mother. Leaning down she brushes her lips against the crown of her mother's head and tries to keep her sobs at bay as she touches her cheek with the affection only a mother can show.
"I love you, mom," she whispers, her voice not sounding like her own. "I'll see you soon."
Her mother just nods tiredly, falling asleep. Closing her eyes she takes a deep breath, her shield of indifference raising as she turns, unsurprised to find him leaning back against one of the columns of the hut, his eyes knowing and the smirk on his face is taunting.
"I'm ready for Drake to take me back."
"What?" he draws out his tone riddled with mocking. "You won't stay for dinner?"
His smile broadens, a low chuckle passing his lips as she silently stews. "Drake is busy, I'll take you."
Her eyes widen with apprehension. "No."
If anything he looks more amused at her answer and she cringes because she heard it too, the slight sliver of fear in her voice.
"It's either me or you walk to your precious home," he answers, the way he says 'home' is filled with ridicule. "Well princess, what's it going to be? I don't have all day and if you're going to walk the four clicks back you need to get started before it gets dark."
"Fine," she answers reluctantly through clenched teeth, they both know she won't make it in this part of the jungle on foot.
He gestures 'after you' with flourish his hand and laughs behind her as she blazes passed him. The ride out of the Sixers camp and into the jungle is rough as always and uncomfortable no matter whom comes to retrieve her, but this one is worse. She hates all of them, she despises him.
"So," he starts, his attitude causal as if they are friends having a simple conversation. "How's lover boy? Still too busy pinning over his girlfriend to notice you?"
"Shut up, Carter."
He gives her a sideways look as he goes over a particular rough patch of road, his smirk firmly in place as the movement forces her closer to him and away from the open sided passenger side of the rover. "Poor little Skye, no daddy, lying to your adoptive one, mommy is dying and the boy you love couldn't care less about you unless you're helping him get his true love here, you really are the saddest little girl, aren't you?"
She turns towards him, her eyes burning with angry hateful tears. "Fuck. You."
He laughs loudly and rudely at her answer.
"Stop the rover; I'm close enough to walk from here."
Surprisingly he does as she says and comes to a stop, she's still about a mile away from Terra Nova and they're in still in dense jungle but she knows her way and if she walks straight she'll arrive at the small unguarded opening in the gate, jumping out of the rover she starts her walk, the faster she gets away from him the better.
She lets out a tired sigh when she doesn't hear the engine of the rover start up again and instead she hears the crunching of his boots as he steps on the leaves that litter the ground.
"What do you want, Carter?" she asks, not turning around. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"You know he'll never want you right?" he answers with his own question. "He's all focused on getting his girl here and besides one day they'll find out you're the traitor, none of them will want you then, they'll throw you out the gates."
She shuts her eyes tight, her nails biting into her palms as her hands clench into fists, her heart in a vice grip, because everything he is saying is true and it's her biggest fear. She's on borrowed time, one day, soon, Mr. Shannon is going to figure out she's the spy and Taylor will kick her out, she has no illusions that his affection for her will save her; if anything it's what will condemn her, because the Commander does care about her and he'll see it as the ultimate betrayal of his trust. She'll loss it all, her home, her friends.
Hunter, Tasha and Max will never understand or forgive that their roommate and friend has been lying to them. Josh won't understand it either, how could he when she's told him herself not to deal with the Sixers. She's a liar and they'll treat her as such.
"You'll be all alone, Skye," Carter whispers in her ear, twisting the knife some more.
She spins around, her eyes clouded by unshed tears, her fist swinging, they don't connect of course, he's Mira's second for a reason, the equivalent of Lt. Washington, ready for any attack, still she tries again, pushing her palms against his chest with all her might, it barely moves him back an inch. "Why do you care?"
"I don't," he answers unapologetically as he traps her wrists in his grasp.
"Then why bring it up?" she shouts in his face, her hair flying around.
"Just making sure you know what will happen."
She lets out a hallow laugh. "You don't think I know where this is headed for me, Carter? Do you really think I'm stupid enough to think there will be an easy out? I know my fate, I don't need you to fucking remind me, I have done nothing to you, Carter, nothing, why do you insist on torturing me?"
His dark eyes pour into hers and in the silence she becomes very aware that he's pulled her closer, his hands still wrapped around her wrists now hold her hands against his chest. "Maybe I'm doing you a favor Skye," he answers quietly. "Maybe I'm preparing you, you think right now is hard? It's going to get worse, and you need to be ready for that."
She looks up at him, his usual sneer is gone and he looks almost remorseful, she hates that it causes her throat to close up with emotion, her tears spilling over her cheeks. She's not sure why she does it, maybe it's because he's right. She is alone and this one hateful person who takes joy in her pain seems to be to only one to actually see it, but she finds herself pulling her hands from his, they end up in his short dirt covered hair as she pulls him down to her height, her lips crashing against his.
She feels him stiffen for a moment and she knows she's caught him by surprise; he's not the only one. She's about to take a step back when he reacts, one of his hands clenches her hair tightly while the other snakes around her to rest at the small of her back pulling her against his hard body. He isn't gentle; it's all rough hands, lips and teeth. He takes, plunging his tongue in her mouth, hot and insistent.
There's no sweetness or hesitation the way she felt in her one shared kiss with Josh, with Carter there is bitterness and resentment, a fight for dominance, to see who will come out on top. It's everything she should hate and yet everything she needs, it's that thought that has her ripping away in horror.
"Oh God," she whispers, her hand shaking as she touches her now bruised lips. She can't need anything, much less this.
"Skye," he says, his tone almost bored as she shakes her head. Only his flushed skin beneath dirt smudges lets her know that he isn't unaffected as he's pretending to be, her body shouldn't quiver at the thought but does. "You'll be alone."
She swallows the lump suddenly stuck in her throat as he looks at her with hooded eyes, the words still hurt but for once she doesn't hear malice. She doesn't step back when he reaches out and brushes a tendril of hair out of her face.
"But I'll still be here."