Hey :D This is just a little speculation based on the spoilers for the episode 'Berlin'. Hope you enjoy :D
Ziva sighed wistfully, stealing a glance at the patch of floor in the middle of the bar. A few people had begun to dance, holding each other in sweet embraces and exchanging loving looks. She missed having that sort of intimacy in her life; it had been so long since she'd danced with someone, let alone slow-danced and she was fairly certain nobody had ever looked at her with such unmasked adoration in their eyes.
But then, why would they? What did she have to offer a man? A body with more scars than freckles and a mind that, more often than not, wandered towards the darker side of things. She felt her eyes well with tears and brought her drink to her lips quickly, preferring Tony to think it was the alcohol causing this reaction in her rather than her own personal demons. Tony. She cared for him, possibly more than anyone else in this world, but her first instinct had been to shut him out, to keep him away from all this because...well, she wasn't even sure if she'd kept him out to protect him or if it was because she'd been ashamed. When he'd shown up at the door of the dingy hotel she'd been conducting her investigations in promising her that, not only was he not going to try and stop her from seeking revenge, but also that he was going to do everything in his power to help her, she'd felt both relieved and panicked. It had been a very welcome feeling to know that he had meant it when he'd told her that she was not alone, but if anything happened to him...
It didn't bear thinking about, so she stopped. Feeling she'd managed to get herself composed, she risked a quick look at her partner and was only a little taken aback to realise he already had his eyes trained on her. He'd been like that ever since they'd boarded the plane, never taking his eyes off her for longer than he had to. How had she not noticed? When had she become so comfortable in his presence that she'd allowed herself to become totally confident that he'd never stray far away?
To his credit, Tony had been keeping tabs on both her and the door all evening. Though he'd suggested this little break from their extended stakeout he had not ruled out the possibility of Bodnar escaping the militant vigilance of the new Director's people. After all, the guy was Mossad. Ziva seemed to be relaxing, though, and that was the main thing. She'd been wound up for weeks, well, she'd not been right since her father's death, and he'd initially been surprised when he'd discovered just how far underground she'd gone and how much of a distance she was keeping both him and the rest of the team at. It had hurt, at first, to find out, but now that they were here he knew that it hadn't been because she didn't trust him. "Hey," he said, one side of his mouth lifting in a reassuring grin, "besides the obvious, is there something wrong?"
"No, no, nothing's wrong, exactly, I'm just..." Ziva shrugged, not quite knowing how to tell the man opposite her that all she really wanted right now was to have someone hold her. She was tired of having to be the one keeping everything together, the one behind all the scheming and set up. For once in her life, Ziva wanted someone to take the reins away from her and she knew that if anyone could do it, it was Tony.
"Feeling blue?" he offered, noticing her sudden downcast expression and the slump in her, normally perfect, posture.
"A little," she replied, shifting her gaze to the napkin below her drink. "It's just that... what if this doesn't give me the-"
"Closure you're looking for?" Tony supplied, and Ziva nodded, grateful that he'd been able to find the words she could not.
"What if it is just one big circle?," she continued, looking back up to meet his eyes once more, "What if it never ends? Bodnar killed my father, now I will kill him. Countless people have died and I am just adding to the pile of bodies. I'm risking both my own life and yours, and...well, what if it isn't worth it?"
"Ziva. Bodnar is a dangerous man. He's killed many people, and he's going to continue. If you don't kill him, he will kill others, and then you'll have missed your chance and somebody else will eventually get the pleasure of putting a bullet through his skull."
"This is crazy, Tony." she exclaimed, a sliver of panic evident in her voice. "We are halfway across the world from everyone we know, on a quest for vengeance. We've spent the last two days staking out a man who killed my father, and now we are sitting in a bar drinking as if nothing is out of the ordinary. It is like we are in a, I don't know, Bond film or something.
"I guess it is." Tony said, grinning lopsidedly. "Never thought I'd be the sidekick, though you have to admit that I make a very beautiful one." His smile evened out when he heard Ziva's laugh, and she marveled at how he had become so adept at winding her down. "Look, Ziva," he started, turning the talk serious once more. "Bodnar has to die. And as soon as it's done, it ends. The cycle will break. We leave, we go home. We sleep. We come back to work and we-"
"We what, Tony? Keep doing what we've been doing for eight years?" At his lack of answer and startled expression, she breathed out heavily, and found that she could no longer keep all of her tears in. "The cycle will never break. It will never end. There is always another monster," she finished, and his heart broke to see that one tear make its journey down her beautiful face.
Tony stood, stepping quickly around to her side of the table. "Come here." he said, reaching out a hand. He was only mildly surprised when she took it right away, no hesitance in her movements. He pulled her gently into his arms, recognising what she needed. He knew where those words had come from, and the connotations they held scared the life out of him. "We are going to get him." he said, tilting her head upwards so that he could look into her eyes. He saw fear, but more importantly, he saw hope.
"Dance with me?" she asked tentatively, hoping that he would not refuse. She saw exactly how he looked at her, that special blend of affection and acceptance that she felt she could bask in forever. She smiled, though he was pulling away from their embrace, and followed him onto the dancefloor. They fell into their places with an ease they never knew they had, though neither shied away from this new, decidedly intimate, contact.
"...to the ends of the Earth." Tony said quietly, but Ziva did not quite hear. She raised an eyebrow questioningly, and he bowed his head, feeling suddenly bashful. "I said that I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth." Ziva smiled, and let out an bemused sigh.
"You really would, wouldn't you?" It was more of a statement than a question, and they lapsed into an easy, comfortable silence. She felt safe in the knowledge that he was the one to be there with her, and he was relieved that she hadn't closed herself off after his impromptu admittance. She relaxed further, letting the hand she'd placed on his arm fall slightly and leaning into his chest, her head resting just below his shoulders. His arm tightened around her waist, drawing her in closer still, and brought his other hand to her forehead, lightly brushing away a few loose strands. They stayed like that for a few minutes, swaying lightly to the choral piano playing from the speakers. The song eventually reached its crescendo, and he felt her head tilt slightly upwards.
"Hey," he said, for the second time that evening. "Something wrong?"
"No," she replied, this time speaking truthfully. "I am alright." And then, before her brain could talk her out of it, she raised herself onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips briefly against his, just barely kissing him. "Thank you," she said, stepping back onto solid ground and easing her head back onto his chest.
"Anytime" he replied, bending down slightly, and returning her brief kiss with one to the top of her head.
"What does this mean?" he heard her ask. "For us, for later?"
"For us? Ziva, I've got your back, and you have mine. That's what matters right now. As for later? We'll figure that out when we get there."
Yeah... In my defence, it is nearly 5 in the morning. I'm off to bed. Thank you so much for reading, and (maybe) reviewing? Please? :D