Disclaimer: X-files does not (definitely not) belong to me. If I did
perchance own the X-files, do you think that I would allow my talent to
languish here for free on the internet? . yes? Well you're darn right!!
A/N. this is a really old fic that I found, I wrote it a couple of years ago and lost the first few chapters so these are my re-writes of them, (I only lost five out of nine), so bear with me, and reviews whether they be flames to light my hearth or warming comment to blanket me in my sleep are definitely welcome.
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY
Greetings Earthlings and fellow Grays. I am prime 388. Today is my first day in the job. This is so as yesterday I was prime 389, I was promoted as the real prime 388 swallowed some bees and did not complete his ass. I mean ssignment. My new partner is prime 387. She is taller than me and she likes to push me off the ramp of our disguised mother ship. I have never been outside the mother ship before and today I saw that the disguise that we used was a device that the humans called a blimp. In finding that out I finally understood why there were annoying birds with pointy beaks in my quarters all the time.
Today, as it was my first day in the job, prime 1 told prime 387 to show me the ropes. I wondered what types of ropes I would be seeing and if I would get to tie knots in them. I have a very extensive knowledge in those things. When I asked this of the primes they kicked my legs from under me. I don't think that they understood what I meant.
As I got up, prime 1 said that I was an idiot and explained in monosylabic words... That's words with one sylable for some of the grays who don't know what that means. I'm especially talking to prime 17, who is... to the human standard... slow.
After we left the blimp, prime 387 started to be nicer to me. We were in a country called Frank, I think. I am not very good with geography. She said that I should learn the customs of the world and with that she picked up a snail on the ground and ripped its shell off. I dislike snails but I wouldn't have ripped its shell off, that is mean.
Anyway, prime 387 looked me in the eye and told me to eat it. I was astonished and scared so I ran away. I ran three steps before tripping over my human outfit. I fell flat on my face and so the human nose got broken, I was very lucky that I myself have no nose or it might have hurt me.
Prime 387 advanced upon me with the snail squirming in her hand. I yelled and cried for her not to put the snail in my mouth and I attracted a bit of attention from other humans, but they thought that I was insane because they could not see prime 387. She was in the invisible suit. The humans left and prime 387 told me that I had to eat the snail and she had to film it so that prime 1 and 2 would know that I was completing the assignment.
I told her that our assignment was to make agents Mulder and Scully know that grays existed. She told me to shut up and pried open my shut mouth with her long fingers, then forced in the snail. I wimpered as the snail wiggled around in my mouth. She told me to chew and swallow it quickly so we could get onto the next task. I did so as anything would be better than eating a snail.
The rest of the day was indeed better, except when I was swallowed by an alligator. That happened to be our last task for the day. Prime 387 said that I had to have training in wrestling alligators because the colonist aliens could turn into them. To do this task I had to kidnap an alligator from the zoo. Unfortunately I have to re do the task as the 'alligator' seemed to have crocodile DNA. How was I to know?
I was dinner time when I recieved the worst shock in my foot... if that is indeed how humans put it. Prime 2 said that he was very pleased with the work that I had done and I told him that I had not done any yet, he just laughed.
As the grays were just getting ready to scoff down the meals prepared a giant screen lowers onto the ground from the ceiling. The grays in the coreography department were doing their jobs well. A giant image of a gray flickered onto the screen, in an instant the gray started to cry and yell, in that same instant I realised that that gray was myself. All the other grays were laughing.
The rest of the dinner period was eaten with my eyes lowered. My usually grey face was stained green. The grays closest to me moved away as they thought I was turning into a colonist. Even though that was not possible as gray physiology was not compatible with colonist physiology and attempting to turn into a colonist would only give me gas.
When I was sitting in my quarters tonight purple tears stained my face and I reached the conclusion that I should stop staining my tear glands just to make them look attractive. I wiped the tears away and only succeeded in turning my whole arm purple. Eventually I was covered in purple. I was reaching for a tissue to wipe the colour off me as I was now to intent on removing the colour than in crying.
Prime 1, 2 and 387 came into the room holding something small behind their back. I asked them why they were here and they said that they were here because they wanted me to stop feeling like a wanker. I asked them what a 'wanker' was and they laughed. They still didn't answer me though.
After a while prime 1 produced a small figurine of a gray and placed it on the table. I asked him why he did that. He said that the gray was so that I would have someone to talk to so that I would stop talking to myself. He said that my talking to myself out loud was scaring the shit out of him. I told him that his shit was not running away from him as there was indeed no shit in the room. Prime 1 glared and told me it was a figure of speech. Then they all left and left me alone with the gray which was beginning to glow. I heard laughing in the corridor as I covered the gray with a dish cloth so that it would not disturb me in my sleep.
END OF EPISODE ONE.
A/N. I hope you know that I feel anguish whenever I put something on for public display. please review so that I know someone out there is reading this stupid dumb fic, if that's what you think write it. please ;). Oh the added bonus is that if you don't review this, and you happen to read the next chappie, (because you feel sorry for my pathetic-ness) you will get semi self righteous flames from me, see, to me, that's not how it should work, so save yourself the embarrassment and review. Thanx.
A/N. this is a really old fic that I found, I wrote it a couple of years ago and lost the first few chapters so these are my re-writes of them, (I only lost five out of nine), so bear with me, and reviews whether they be flames to light my hearth or warming comment to blanket me in my sleep are definitely welcome.
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY
Greetings Earthlings and fellow Grays. I am prime 388. Today is my first day in the job. This is so as yesterday I was prime 389, I was promoted as the real prime 388 swallowed some bees and did not complete his ass. I mean ssignment. My new partner is prime 387. She is taller than me and she likes to push me off the ramp of our disguised mother ship. I have never been outside the mother ship before and today I saw that the disguise that we used was a device that the humans called a blimp. In finding that out I finally understood why there were annoying birds with pointy beaks in my quarters all the time.
Today, as it was my first day in the job, prime 1 told prime 387 to show me the ropes. I wondered what types of ropes I would be seeing and if I would get to tie knots in them. I have a very extensive knowledge in those things. When I asked this of the primes they kicked my legs from under me. I don't think that they understood what I meant.
As I got up, prime 1 said that I was an idiot and explained in monosylabic words... That's words with one sylable for some of the grays who don't know what that means. I'm especially talking to prime 17, who is... to the human standard... slow.
After we left the blimp, prime 387 started to be nicer to me. We were in a country called Frank, I think. I am not very good with geography. She said that I should learn the customs of the world and with that she picked up a snail on the ground and ripped its shell off. I dislike snails but I wouldn't have ripped its shell off, that is mean.
Anyway, prime 387 looked me in the eye and told me to eat it. I was astonished and scared so I ran away. I ran three steps before tripping over my human outfit. I fell flat on my face and so the human nose got broken, I was very lucky that I myself have no nose or it might have hurt me.
Prime 387 advanced upon me with the snail squirming in her hand. I yelled and cried for her not to put the snail in my mouth and I attracted a bit of attention from other humans, but they thought that I was insane because they could not see prime 387. She was in the invisible suit. The humans left and prime 387 told me that I had to eat the snail and she had to film it so that prime 1 and 2 would know that I was completing the assignment.
I told her that our assignment was to make agents Mulder and Scully know that grays existed. She told me to shut up and pried open my shut mouth with her long fingers, then forced in the snail. I wimpered as the snail wiggled around in my mouth. She told me to chew and swallow it quickly so we could get onto the next task. I did so as anything would be better than eating a snail.
The rest of the day was indeed better, except when I was swallowed by an alligator. That happened to be our last task for the day. Prime 387 said that I had to have training in wrestling alligators because the colonist aliens could turn into them. To do this task I had to kidnap an alligator from the zoo. Unfortunately I have to re do the task as the 'alligator' seemed to have crocodile DNA. How was I to know?
I was dinner time when I recieved the worst shock in my foot... if that is indeed how humans put it. Prime 2 said that he was very pleased with the work that I had done and I told him that I had not done any yet, he just laughed.
As the grays were just getting ready to scoff down the meals prepared a giant screen lowers onto the ground from the ceiling. The grays in the coreography department were doing their jobs well. A giant image of a gray flickered onto the screen, in an instant the gray started to cry and yell, in that same instant I realised that that gray was myself. All the other grays were laughing.
The rest of the dinner period was eaten with my eyes lowered. My usually grey face was stained green. The grays closest to me moved away as they thought I was turning into a colonist. Even though that was not possible as gray physiology was not compatible with colonist physiology and attempting to turn into a colonist would only give me gas.
When I was sitting in my quarters tonight purple tears stained my face and I reached the conclusion that I should stop staining my tear glands just to make them look attractive. I wiped the tears away and only succeeded in turning my whole arm purple. Eventually I was covered in purple. I was reaching for a tissue to wipe the colour off me as I was now to intent on removing the colour than in crying.
Prime 1, 2 and 387 came into the room holding something small behind their back. I asked them why they were here and they said that they were here because they wanted me to stop feeling like a wanker. I asked them what a 'wanker' was and they laughed. They still didn't answer me though.
After a while prime 1 produced a small figurine of a gray and placed it on the table. I asked him why he did that. He said that the gray was so that I would have someone to talk to so that I would stop talking to myself. He said that my talking to myself out loud was scaring the shit out of him. I told him that his shit was not running away from him as there was indeed no shit in the room. Prime 1 glared and told me it was a figure of speech. Then they all left and left me alone with the gray which was beginning to glow. I heard laughing in the corridor as I covered the gray with a dish cloth so that it would not disturb me in my sleep.
END OF EPISODE ONE.
A/N. I hope you know that I feel anguish whenever I put something on for public display. please review so that I know someone out there is reading this stupid dumb fic, if that's what you think write it. please ;). Oh the added bonus is that if you don't review this, and you happen to read the next chappie, (because you feel sorry for my pathetic-ness) you will get semi self righteous flames from me, see, to me, that's not how it should work, so save yourself the embarrassment and review. Thanx.