Stairway to heaven
She sat crying on my grave knowing she drove me to killing myself and by doing so she killed herself on the inside. Every night she'd cry herself to sleep every day she poured whiskey in her coffee when no one was watching. She smiled on the outside but cried on the inside wanting to die, but knowing she had to be strong for the people she loved. There was an ongoing battle going on inside of her, part of she said she had to be strong for her family and friends but the other part of her said she only loved me, I only kept her tied down to life so why live?
She didn't know I watched her, she didn't know that I knew she cried my name out at night. I didn't know she'd miss me this much I thought she didn't love me. When she cried out for me at night all I wanted to do was hold her and say I'm still here please don't cry I still love you, but I couldn't tell her this because I was literally a ghost of a man. A ghost who would always haunt her, always love her and wait for her when she came to me. When I could I would try to communicate with her but I found a way, part of her was vulnerable that was my way to be with her. So I did what I had to do and every thought she had of I will kill myself today, I would take over herself conscious and tell her no you can't please be strong for me. Sometimes at night in the blurriness of her tears she could see me but she would just close her eyes and hug a pillow tightly to her chest.
I reached out for her once she stopped breathing so my hand retreated and she started to breathe again. I sigh and she looks at me through blurry eyes the pain written on her face "I think I see you sometimes" she chokes "but then I realize you're not here" I stare at her shocked but excited that she can see me. Tears stream down her face as she whispers "I still miss you my biggest regret was breaking up with you Dallas , I wish I could take it back" I look at the floor sadness filling my heart and vanish into air as she sobs in the silence of the night.
I look at the light and think in order for her to move on you must move and take on step into bright light that everyone calls the sun but the dead calls the stair way to heaven.