Kurt Hummel was late.
And, unfortunately, not the fashionably kind. Attempting to remain as poised as possibly while jogging down his floor hallway clothed only in his bath towel, accessorized only by his lime green shower caddy, Kurt wondered how he got into this situation. Being, admittedly (at least to himself) a bit high maintenance, Kurt was well used to early mornings. Sadly, early mornings for Kurt meant early evenings. Burt, Carole, Finn, Mercedes, Blaine and a few others could well attest that a Kurt without at least seven hours of sleep was a Kurt that wasn't pleasant for anyone.
Kurt couldn't help but grin a bit despite the uncomfortable sensation of his sopping wet legs dripping moisture towards the linoleum floor causing his shower flip flops to stick uncomfortably to his feet and make unrefined squelching noises. The cause of his late night (and more consequently, his resultant late start) was memorable enough to keep the embarrassment of his flusterment in the back of his mind. Kurt's roommate had went home yesterday after classes let out for the weekend leaving Kurt and Blaine alone in Kurt's room, Kurt's bed to be more specific, to spend one of the longest periods of time alone with no chance of interruption than the two boys had had in a while. Easily distracted by each other's bodies and noises and sighs and feelings, Kurt and Blaine had stayed awake much longer than prudent for their early Saturday morning.
It was currently the Saturday before Mother's Day and therefore the day of the Annual End of Term Dalton Warbler's Mother's Day Concert where the a cappela group showcased the music they had been preparing for Regionals along with some other favorites to an audience of mothers and other friends and family. While mother's day was a bit of a sore spot for Kurt, he couldn't admit being excited about having a step mother for the first time to share the day with and having his dad and Carole having another rare opportunity to see him perform with the Warblers.
Despite these facts, Kurt was not excited that the clock as he entered his dorm room read 10:52 since he had been told to expect his dad, Carole, and Finn at 11:00 in order to catch lunch with him and Blaine before the 2:00 performance. Kurt sprinted to his vanity and sprang to work on his hair: parting, combing, applying styling gel. Next was the mini version of his face routine, completed in record time. The clock's face turned to 10:58 just as Kurt went to give his appearance a final look in the mirror before he donned his uniform.
Kurt groaned and turned to rummage for the concealer he keeps in a drawer for the rare occasions when his beauty and sleep routines fail him and leave him with a blemish or a pair of dark circles. However, the concealer had never been put to quite this use. Spread over his chest and collarbones and, more worryingly, his upper neck, are a good number of bites and bruises from his and Blaine's time together last night. Kurt rapidly begins applying cover up to the largest purply red mark right over his pulse point. The boys were usually quite careful to avoid leaving any marks that would be visible during the day. But him and Blaine hadn't had a good make out session in sooo long and Kurt was pretty sure that short of acts the boys had mutually decided they weren't ready for, nothing in the world feels better than Blaine's mouth trailing over his shirtless body, imbedding the warmth of his mouth into Kurt's own skin, leaving marks that symbolize the ownership that Blaine feels for him…
Kurt was pulled from his reverie and frantic cosmetic application by a knock at his door. For a split second, Kurt freezes in fear but relaxes immediately when the knock turns out to be delivered in the rhythmic pattern (in the form of the first two measures of the chorus of Teenage Dream-they're teenagers who haven't yet became adult cynics-you can't blame them for being romantics) that means it's Blaine waiting outside his door for him and not his visiting family. He hurries across the room and checks the peephole to be careful. After all, the other boys on their hall like to tease them in a good-natured manner about their so labeled "sickeningly-sweet yet adorable puppy love" and aren't above using the couple's trade mark knock in order to tease one of the boys about the disappointed look than befalls their face when they realize it's not their other half and really just a boy wanting a pickup game of soccer or French homework help.
Peering through the glass cylinder, Kurt only sees Blaine, fully dressed, impeccable appearance as always. Blaine is wearing a mischievous grin that leaves Kurt curious about its origins and looks ridiculously adorable. The overall effect leaves Kurt torn between wanting to ravish him to wipe the smirk off his face and wanting to punch him in the gut for being a morning person who is just as chipper on four hours of sleep as he is on fourteen. Unfortunately and fortunately, the clock now reads 11:01 and Kurt doesn't have time for either of these options and instead just throws the door open and immediately turns on his heel, returns to his vanity, and resumes covering the marks on his neck that he'd really like nothing more than to show the world as a reminder that Blaine chose him just over two months ago and that they're still going strong.
"Kurt!"
Kurt can hear the excitement and something near to nervousness in his boyfriend's voice but he honestly doesn't have time to respond to it. Blaine's meet his family plenty of times so Kurt can't see what the problem would be. Kurt has almost finished covering the marks that will show above his collar and he still hasn't heard Blaine move into the room.
"Blaine, can you get inside and shut the door please? I've got to get dressed still. Dad and Carole and Finn are going to be here any minute and I'm still covering these up."
"Kurt."
This time Blaine's tone of voice leaves Kurt confused. Kurt can't tell if it's anger or fright or some other emotion tinting Blaine's voice and making it shake. Kurt chalks it up to his impatient outburst and decides to attempt to smooth over the tension.
"Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have snapped. After all, I was begging for them last night." Kurt chuckles a little at the fond reminder of last night and continues getting ready.
Having finished up at the vanity, Kurt shifts left to his dresser and pulls out a pair of boxer briefs. Blaine hasn't responded to his apology and Kurt still hasn't heard the door shut. Kurt twirls around to ask again and bask in the glory of his attractive significant other and promptly dies a little inside.
Standing in the doorway of dorm room is his dad, newly acquired step-mother and step-brother, and his boyfriend all with red faces shaped into varying expressions. Finn's red face is accompanied by a look of embarrassment that Kurt thinks may rival his own that he feels forming. Carole's face is currently the reddest of the bunch but her specific hue is rapidly migrating toward violet which appears to be caused by trying to hold in what Kurt believes would be violent guffaws of laughter were she to allow them to escape. Blaine's scarlet face looks more nauseated than anything else but also holds a significant amount of fear and is topped off by apology that shines through his eyes when they meet Kurt's. Kurt finally summoned the courage to glace at his father's face. His father's angry red face was currently swishing back and forth Blaine and Kurt's chest. More specifically, the marks on Kurt's chest.
Shit.
The silence is stifling and awkward and Kurt feels an unprecedented need to fill it. "Uhh…..hi guys! Sorry I'm not quite ready yet." Kurt crosses his arms quite uselessly over chest and smiles politely, the effect mostly ruined by the hickeys and the dark blue underpants still caught in his right hand that only serve to bring out the bruise colored speckles on his body.
More silence. How can it possibly get more awkward? Kurt thinks frantically.
Thankfully, Blaine chooses the moment to pick back up the gentlemanly charm he usually carries.
"No worries Kurt," Blaine scratches out and clears his throat shifts his body in a way that Kurt has come to known signals anxiety. " I was headed to your room when I saw everyone and decided to walk with them. I told them to wait outside for a minute and we'd surprise you. No problem though. We'll just wait outside for you to finish getting ready." And with that, Blaine turns around and starts to usher everyone out of Kurt's room, following Finn and Carole, hand pressing stiffly against her mouth holding in the laughter. For one blissful minute, Kurt actually thinks he may make it out alive and with minimal emotional scarring.
Until he watches in what feels like slow motion as his father grabs Blaine's wrist and stops him from following his step relatives into the hall. It was as if Kurt was watching a horror movie and the moment had came when an unexpected hand slipped out from underneath the bed and pulled to cute curly haired, green-eyed co star into the black depths below.
"Obviously Kurt doesn't mind changing in front of you, Blaine. And he obviously doesn't mind changing in front of me since I'm his father and have been with him since his birth nearly 17 years ago. Why don't you stay in here with us and we'll have a chat." Kurt watched the laughter fad from Carole's face along with the color in Finn's as his dad pulled Blaine inside and shut the door.
Kurt senses where this is going. The most physical affection Burt has seen between the boys is the rare cuddling during movies and hugs and pecks hello and goodbye. Obviously the proof of physical development in Kurt and Blaine's relationship was taking him by surprise. Once the door was shut, Kurt once again caught his father staring at his chest, this time while sighing and running his hands over his head, through what little hair he had remaining. Kurt felt a sudden wave of love and sympathy for his father and a sudden worry for his heart if he had to look much longer at Kurt's besmirched torso.
Kurt makes the decision that he cannot make it through this conversation in his current state of undress and begins plotting how to go about remedying this. Kurt has never planned on lying to his father about his relationship with Blaine, it's more of just how life works out. Burt hadn't caught the two boys truly kissing yet and it's far from normal to bring up the steadily growing intensity of your make out sessions to your father in daily conversation. Kurt takes a fortifying breath and glances at Blaine trying to instill some much needed courage to both of them. Kurt goes through his dressing routine exactly as he would if his father hadn't been there. Kurt slides his underpants on underneath his towel in the tried and true dorm room method and then drops the towel.
While Kurt has changed like this in front of Blaine several times, it is still beyond ridiculous to be standing in only his boxer briefs while his dad and boyfriend stand awkwardly by his door. As he walks to his closet, he catches Blaine watching him closely pleading for instructions with his eyes. However, Kurt is unable to give nonverbal reassurance since once Blaine realizes that Burt is watching Blaine watching Kurt, Blaine promptly maneuvers his gaze to the toes of his shoes.
Kurt sighs and rolls his eyes at his father's Papa Bear behavior. Kurt can't help but think about the fact that this interrogation would not be happening if Kurt was straight and was dating a girl. Double standard suck, huffs Kurt inside his mind. Finally covering the incriminating evidence, Kurt buttons the last button of his shirt and slides on his gray slacks. Finally, he grabs socks, shoes, his jacket and his tie and plops down uncharacteristically ungracefully onto the edge of his bed.
He looks up at the two most important men in his life. Blaine is still standing in the exact same position: head down, eyes pointed toward his shoes, hands stuffed into his pockets. Kurt's dad 's eyes are closed and Kurt watches him slowly massage his own temples. Kurt breaks the silence.
"Are you two going to sit down and talk or just stand there?" Kurt inquires as he begins pulling on his socks and shoes. Burt takes a seat in Kurt's desk chair and Kurt watches as Blaine's face switches from gratefulness to horror as he realizes this forces him to sit next to Kurt on bed. Kurt is just upturning his collar to situate his tie as he hears his dad finally break the silence.
"When did this happen," Kurt's dad groans out. "You two have only been together for 2 months and you're already got," Burt stutters as gesticulates jerkily towards Kurt's chest, "...hickeys all over each other. This is one thing I don't like about you being away here at Dalton. I can't watch you. I would've known about this is you were home."
Kurt can't help but cringe at the guilty tinge in his father's voice. He sighs and finally takes pity on Blaine who had apparently chosen to stand awkwardly than give Burt the visual of himself on Kurt's bed, and tugs forcefully on his forearm until Blaine's forced to sit perched on the bed next to Kurt. Kurt sighs.
"No you wouldn't have Dad. I've never had a mark that would show in public the past month that we've been doing this." Kurt can't help but roll his eyes as he sees Blaine's head whiplash toward him at the mention to his father of "doing this." Kurt scoffs and continues. "The only reason you caught me with Brittany is because I wanted you to and even then I had to leave a note explicitly asking you to walk downstairs without knocking. Like any normal teenager, I would be trying very hard to avoid tainting you mind with the visual proof that your kid makes out with their significant other."
Burt's eyes are closed and he's rubbing his forehead, apparently deep in though. Kurt capitalizes on this moment to look over at Blaine, trying to telepathically send waves of love and apology and, yes, courage to Blaine. Blaine's forehead is wrinkled and his eyebrows are so scrunched that they look close to eating his eyes. As much as he enjoys the cuteness of Blaine's apologetic/scared puppy face and the ridiculous role that Blaine is playing of the scared boyfriend caught by his girlfriend's (or in this case boyfriend) father, Kurt hates the way the situation must be making Blaine feel. In a small act of solidarity, Kurt grabs Blaine's hand and interlocks their fingers, promptly regretting it. Kurt can feel Blaine's tension as he applies a death grip to Kurt's hand and mouths "I'm sorry."
Kurt feels terrible about Blaine feeling terrible. He wants to tell Blaine that there's no reason to be sorry or guilty or ashamed. Embarrassed perhaps, but none of the others. He wants to tell Blaine that they care about each other and are attracted to each other and above the age of consent, meaning that they can give each other as many hickeys as they like. Kurt can't get over the sense that this is affecting Blaine more than it should be and Kurt wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around Blaine and talk to him, to find out what's gotten into him, to explain how much he cares for Blaine, to tell Blaine how he would never feel ashamed of what the relationship they have or what they do behind closed doors.
It physically pains Kurt that now is not the time to do these things. Kurt settles by starting by returning Blaine's death grip. Kurt shifts on the bed to angle towards Blaine and places his other hand on Blaine's closest knee. Finally, Kurt allows himself some leeway and mouths back "No, no, no. It's okay. It's fine. Nothing's wrong." Blaine's free hand moves to his face to rub his forehead in a perfect replica of Kurt's father just moments ago and Blaine voices his apology out loud this time. "I'm sorry," he mumbles with his eyes shut, his hand partially covering them. Kurt can't help but to vocalize his own thoughts. "Hey," Kurt shushes him. "It's fine."
A throat clearing causes Kurt to jump and turn toward the sound, back to his father who he had forgotten was in the room. The look in his father's eyes shows Kurt that he saw more of the exchange than Kurt had planned.
"But this isn't just making out Kurt. You two look at each other way more…adultly than I feel comfortable with. Normal teenage couples don't look as," Burt pauses before groaning out, "intimate…as you two just did. It scares me that you're this serious about each other. It makes me feel like I'm out of the loop. Hell, you spend most of your time here with Blaine and your other friends while I'm sitting in Lima jumping for joy over a phone call every other day. "
Kurt feels the sting of implications of that last sentence and soon the sting is matching that of the tears starting in his eyes. "Oh Dad," he chokes out. "You have to know that's normal. Think of it as preparing for college," chuckles Kurt. Kurt looks his Dad into his eyes. "You know you're still important to me. If it makes you feel better, I can try to call every night. And you'll have me back home for summer in less than two weeks. Spending five days a week at the garage and eating dinner together every night. " Kurt feels a squeeze on his hand. "Well, not every night. Blaine does get some time," Kurt teases before glancing to his right.
"I know, I know. Everything you said was true. And to be honest buddy, I would appreciate a call every night. I miss you Kurt. You can expect to talk more when you get home. Call me selfish but I need to start feeling like I'm a part of your life again."
Burt drops his eyes from Kurt's and Kurt feels the serious mood drop. Kurt looks over and scrutinizes Blaine. His face is back to its correct shade and he looks far less tense, although still distinctly uncomfortable. Kurt can't shake the feeling that they'll need to talk more later as well. Overall though, Kurt feels like it's safe to drop Blaine's hand as he begins to tie his tie. Kurt turns back to his father. "Well, now that we have our sitcom communication moment out of the way, could we head to lunch? Blaine and I have a 1:30 call time."
Kurt sees a flash of mirth in his father's eyes, followed quickly by a snap of discomfort, before his father resorts back to serious mode.
"Kurt," he starts. "We're not quite done with this conversation."
"What?" Kurt asks distractedly, finishing up his Half-Windsor.
"Kurt," his father snaps out. "You had, like 20 hickeys covering your body."
Kurt feels his face turning red and he stutters, "Oh! Uh, um…"
"I know I didn't leave more than ten," Blaine muses. Kurt heads snaps toward his idiot boyfriend but laughs internally at the resultant face of Blaine realizing the implications of what he said. Externally, he sends Blaine a warning look.
"Are you two having sex?" Kurt's father never had been good with subtlety.
"Argh! Dad! No!"
"Well what was I supposed to think? His mouth has obviously been near your," another frantic pointing gesture, "belt-line judging by one of those marks."
Oh. Kurt supposed that did look bad. To be honest he had forgotten about Blaine sucking that mark into his skin right above where his low slung jeans from the previous night and, as he now realized, his towel from this morning sat along his left hip. That mark was the first of its kind and Kurt's rushed morning hadn't left his with time to reminisce about it, although he planned to do so thoroughly once he was not in the same room as his father.
A low, drawn out, and reproachful "Woah" from Blaine pulled Kurt back to his senses.
"We are not having sex Dad." It's now Kurt's turn to rub at his forehead and close his eyes as an unsuccessful method of disappearing from this awful situation.
"Yeah, but by the looks of things you're gonna be. And it's not usually planned Kurt. Things just escalate. If you're not prepared, it'll sneak up on you and you two are either gonna have to make the not so hard choice between blue balls and bad decisions."
Kurt cannot believe this is his life. His dad just used the term blue balls. In front of his boyfriend no less.
"Promise me that you'll talk about it Kurt. You two need to know where you stand. And promise me that you'll buy some condoms—"
"Dad," Kurt cuts in.
"Promise me Kurt."
"Dad, it's not an issue—"
"Yes it is! I just explained—"
His dad is not listening. Kurt tunes him out and reaches toward his bedside table, opens the drawers and pulls out an unopened box of condoms (a purchase just from the previous Wednesday) and his tube of lube.
"Dad!" Kurt interjects one last time. "I've got it covered," says Kurt, shaking the items slightly to emphasize the fact.
Kurt hears another "Woah" escape from Blaine but this one is tinged with several emotions that Kurt is glad he didn't hear in the one directed to his father.
Damn it. Kurt wasn't thinking about the fact that he had not discussed this purchase with Blaine yet. Kurt turns slowly, trying to prolong seeing the look on Blaine's face. Blaine's mouth is open, his eyes are wide, and his entire body is frozen. His face looks a bit like that of a kid taking in his first glance at his Christmas spread after coming down the stairs and Kurt tries not to think about the meaning of that comparison while his father is looking at him.
"I'm sorry, " he says, trying his best to look sorry, placing an apologetic hand on Blaine's leg. "We'll talk about them later. I wasn't even planning to bring them up yet, but the moment kind of called for it."
Blaine shakes his head like a dog coming out of water and stumbles over his words. "Uh, um, yeah. That's fine. Yeah. Uh, we'll talk later," he manages to get out before promptly clearing his throat and removing Kurt's hand from his thigh.
Leaving the bubble he had been in with Blaine, Kurt realizes that he is holding condoms and lube in his left hand and had just had his right on his boyfriends thigh while his Dad looks on. Face reddening, Kurt returns his supplies to the drawer.
"OK," starts Burt. "We've got that cleared up. Just be careful you two. "
And with that, Burt stands up and heads to the door of Kurt's room. Kurt and Blaine jump up and follow aimlessly. They open the door and exit into the hallway.
"Come on. I'm starved. This place we're going is kinda fancy, right? Can I please get a steak Kurt? I know it's red meat and all, but I haven't had one in ages. "
Kurt can't help smile at the look of relief on Carole's face once she's given Blaine a once over to ensure that he's unharmed.
Kurt bickers back at his father even though he knows that he's going to allow his father the steak. Kurt wraps his arm around Blaine's waist and follows his family down the hallways of Dalton to the car and can't help but think that he likes these two worlds colliding.