Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned below. This is just for fun, and I'm, obviously, not making any money off of it.
Parking Lots and Pepper Spray
One never knows what moment will change their life. Dropping a glass, catching just a few more seconds of a show before you leave, smiling at someone on the bus... All it takes is the smallest amount of time to change a life for the better, or the worse.
o0o
In a crowded super market, one day in Autumn, a self-professed criminal, by the name of Scabior, had his life change completely. He was attempting to browse (and steal something from) the candy aisle (petty theft had always been on his record), but was having a slightly hard time. It was nearing the holidays and it seemed as if everyone and their brother were shopping together, jostling passers-by and accidentally locking carts together or shouting across people about prices. Scabior could almost feel the idiocy rolling off of some of these people and the longer the little old lady hogged the space in front of the Butterfingers, the more irritated Scabior became.
He was almost to the point of pushing her out of the way (did a little old woman need that much candy?), or possibly pinching her purse, really, she was so engrossed with the Butterfingers Scabior had himself been eyeing, that she would never notice. But, for the third time in that aisle, someone tried to rush by with a full shopping cart and tried to take off Scabior's toes. Grunting with the pain, he stepped back and knocked into someone else (he was beginning to feel like he was trapped in a can of sardines) mumbling a half hearted apology. He didn't turn his blue eyes to see whom he had careened into, but when he took a breath... Scabior froze. In this sea of body odor, eau de old lady and greasy foods from the deli, there was a single breath of clear, sweet air. A hint of vanilla, or a sweet smelling flower and Scabior found himself closing his eyes to appreciate it more fully.
The Butterfingers, which before had been extremely appeasing, were now forgotten. Scabior blinked, pulling himself from his short, self-induced stupor and whipped his head to the left, where the hint of vanilla was fading... and a slim girl, with bushy brown locks and a quick step, was rushing away. Scabior's eyebrows raised, his expression one of intrigue and tried to weave his way through the traffic of shopping carts and food displays before the girl disappeared out the automatic doors. He swore beneath his breath, the people here seemed to exist just to get in his way, and gave a sneer to a woman who looked upset with his language. Other than the huff of anger that he could hear from behind him, Scabior was now free to make his way out, to where he could just barely see that head of brown far down the sidewalk.
"Damn'it all," Scabior muttered and broke into a trot, watching the girls jean-clad legs disappear around a corner. He couldn't say why exactly, but it was extremely important that he follow her, that he speak to her... Because-because... Just the memory of her perfume gave Scabior a small shiver and he bit his bottom lip as he picked up the pace. The little thing was fast, no doubt about it, but Scabior had a bit of a talent for running, having been chased out of more establishments than he could count, long before the police showed up. His black boots thumped evenly along the pavement, his dark, disheveled jacket flaring out behind him as he turned the corner, seeing her not too far ahead. Scabior allowed himself a small smile and looked towards the building where she seemed to be heading - and tripped over his own boots and fell upon the pavement, skinning his palms. The local High School. High School. "Son ov'a bitch," Scabior shouted, pushing himself up. A few sparrows, sitting comfortably on the power lines above, scattered in all directions.
Younger than he had thought. Much younger. Scabior found himself staring at the sign, having lost sight of the girl while he cursed himself and scared the birds. A bell rang somewhere inside the school. He hadn't quite seen her face - but those legs... She just had to be legal. He threw up his hands and snarled quietly, before slapping them back down on his thighs and staring at the cement. Well, now that he was here, that he had even followed her in the first place, what was he going to do? Scabior paced back and forth for a moment, like a caged animal, trying to make up his mind. The thought of the girl, of that... appetizing smell, was enough to have him walking into classrooms, or peering through windows, searching for that head of messy hair... Which would no doubt bring the police out in full force, he could almost hear the worried teachers, "-a strange man going into our classrooms and asking after a female student!" Scabior ran a hand through his ragged hair and shook his head. He was mad. And so, Scabior settled down on the edge of the school parking lot, where he had a good view of the entrance and waited for school to let out.
o0o
The last three hours of the school day were torture. For Scabior, that is. He could have ran back to that store, nicked himself some food - but what if she was just a school aide? He didn't want to risk missing her, but at the same time was cursing himself for his stupidity. What was he even going to say? "'ello there, I smelled you when you was passin' by in the supermarket-" it sounded ridiculous, even to himself, and Scabior had used some downright idiotic pickup lines before. He found himself going over some of the better pick up lines in his head when the bell rang again, signaling the end of the day. A tidal wave of students seemed to rush out and in the general hubbub, Scabior was allowed to stand back and search without being bothered. He kept telling himself that he hadn't seen her yet, though every single head of brown hair made his head whirl. Scabior rubbed his neck, hoping he wouldn't give himself whiplash. Five minutes passed before the wave slowed to a trickle and Scabior sat back down, eyebrows drawn together, though now he focused on every female that walked by.
He noticed a small redhead openly staring back at him, and when he focused on her again, she didn't look away like he expected her to. Her eyebrows were raised and she watched him quietly, as if she were considering something, but eventually turned her attention back to the two young men on either side of her. Scabior spared a thought to wonder what it was about, but focused now on the nearly empty parking lot. He hadn't seen her anywhere. He let out a slow breath, drumming his fingers on his knees and waited another twenty minutes, seeing only an elderly teacher make his way to his car. Scabior hurriedly got to his feet, and noting that no one was watching him, bounded up the school steps. He had come this far, at the very least, he was going to have a look around. Scabior kept up a steady tapping on his legs, walking by rows of lockers and peering in dark classrooms. Somewhere in the back of his head, he wondered if he'd imagined the girl, but a little thrill went through his body when he stopped in view of the library, just as she walked out.
This time, Scabior could see her face. While her hair was a bit unmanageable, she had pretty features, with pale skin and dark eyes and she smiled warmly at someone she was saying good-bye to, and then walked away. In the direction of the parking lot. It took Scabior a moment to realize that, once again, she was getting away, but this time he snapped out of his daze a bit quicker. Scabior took a few steps and then broke into a sprint, his footsteps echoing off the building walls as he ran. He didn't think about what he was going to say, he didn't stop and think about what he looked like - a man, obviously not a student, disheveled and dirty, running full out towards a female student in the parking lot. Scabior, obviously, didn't think at all. And so when he slowed, a few feet behind the girl and pasted on his best, seducing smile, while trying to say "'ello beauti-" Scabior never would have guessed that he was going to be pepper sprayed at point blank range.
"AGHHH!" Scabior immediately screamed and clutched at his eyes, hands shaking while he tried to keep himself from dropping and curling into a fetal position. He barely registered her voice, currently high pitched and full of a mixture of anger and fear - screaming back at him - "RAPIST! RAPIST!" The pain was horrible. Like rubbing your eyes with raw onions, and Scabior was now clenching his teeth to keep from continuing to screech. It took him a moment more, his eyes still completely watered, his sight non-existant, to realize she was calling him a rapist - and she wasn't running away.
"No-no! Beautiful - I - who even carries pepper spray in a school? Here I was - just tryin' to come over and give ya a compliment and- damn'it!" Scabior continued to blink, sniffling slightly and trying to rub his eyes so he could at least see a shadow. Her shouts slowly died down and Scabior jumped when she spoke in a normal voice.
"Oh, well, sorry - but really! I suggest the next time you want to voice a compliment you do so in a normal manner! You just - just, were like a hound on a hunt, barreling down the hallway like some sort of mad man!"
Still in pain, Scabior gave only the barest of thoughts to the fact that, he really had looked like an escaped mental patient. Still clutching his eyes, sniffling, Scabior gave a low laugh before he turned towards the sound of her voice and quipped: "I was blinded by yer beauty, so I'm goin' to need yer name and number for insurance reasons." There was silence from the young woman and as Scabior sniffled again, he caught the smallest hint of vanilla perfume. Though his eyes were still on fire, he felt himself grinning like a loon.
"Indeed. My name is Hermione Granger - and now that it seems I've made a grave error in defending myself, let me take you to the nurse here," she murmured, slim, cool fingers taking his wrist and pulling it away from his eyes. He could hear her give out a little sigh, as if this was a terrible inconvenience for her.
"Whatever you do, please stop rubbing your eyes - it's making it worse. Your touch is heating the capillaries, which you do not want. Just let me lead you the the nurse, alright?" Scabior promised himself that he was going to pinch a few bottles of whiskey, or something hard, this evening. This had sure been one of the most... interesting days of his life. But still - Scabior smirked a little as she tightened her hold on him, leading him blind through the school. At least he knew her name.
A/N: Quick note - this was based off of a youtube video (which I found extremely amusing) with Scabior and Hermione and the song "Deer in the Headlights" by Owl City. This is also intended to be a bit of a spoof (the song and plot just beg for hilarious hijinks) but I hope everyone enjoys it!