My head is screaming 'Get a grip, girl! Unless you're dying to rip your heart out!'"- Hercules
She was porcelain and glass; breakable, and so transparently white that you could practically feel the innocence radiating from her skin. He was fire, diamond, and bronze; shapeable, but unbreakable. With eyes alit with a new brazen, bold challenge, and sexy lips, smirking from approaching hazards. He liked the adrenaline before the crash, while she adored consistency and warm feelings instead of feeling fragile, constantly on the run. But, they were both the devil-may-care. She used to be friends with one of the most notorious Slytherins at school, while he was prankster with the emotional availability of Batman and his cape of mysteries. Both heartbreakers with a deficit of feelings, except when it came to hurling fire and ice at each other verbally, that's when everyone scattered, feeling WWIII coming on.
LILY IN THE SUMMER:
The world seems really bleak and irritating, now that I have to get into this stupid taxi and hurry over to my boyfriend's to break up with him. I'm wearing his least favorite blouse (the one without a back), the pencil skirt, and the super lash lengthening eye goop I stole from Petunia. My lipstick is the nauseatingly perfect shade of coral and my cheeks are hot and bothered, so much I look as if I'm a teenage girl in the heat of my first love-it's time to stomp on his heart with my 5inch pumps.
Now I know I totally sound like a sadistic, egotistical medieval bitch but whomever said 'Hell hath no greater fury than that of a woman's scorn', I say amen. My eyebrow arches when the taxi driver offers to take me back to heaven since obviously I must be some sort of angel. I just tell him to drive to 54th street, and leave me there on the curb. He pouts and kicks away some of the garbage littering the car floor as if to make it classier, more worthy of my 'angelic' presence while I smirk in the back. I miss the visual worshiping that I had begun to ignore, because Caleb would growl and make faces whenever he thought I was getting too much attention from a passing stranger. My head would begin 'overinflating', he would say.
"Here," I say, and the driver looks disappointed.
I breathe in the familiar smoky air of the polluted city, smile at the tattered musical signs waving like specters from their respective theatres, smile at the other Kensington Park women or the walk of shamers trooping home. Their hair disheveled and makeup in disarray I notice someone slip out of a familiar old building and hide an amused cough.
James Potter would not hide his wealth like this; he would flaunt it. He would not hide his girlfriend like Caleb does; he would flaunt me.
Snape would hurt me like this. Snape and Caleb are alike-Snape's not rich or handsome, but he's a caged animal and, when cornered, will lash out at the person he supposedly cares about the most.
"Do you need anyone to show you around London?" I tip my head to one side and wave the cabbie off; I'm through with guys for a while. Knocking on his (stupid jackass') shabby condo door, the faux tattered chic is just to disguise the fact that Caleb's more loaded than a bazooka with the red tattered (Gucci– custom made) curtains and faded old griffin knockers; one could tell he's made of money. He's no wizard but he's a god, magical and wanted within the world of muggle London.
I keep the sneer off my face, and the effort to smooth it makes me feel like a statue in Italy; like a Botticelli or one of those angels whose smiles never reach their eyes. Usually when I'm with Caleb, I feel like that one painting in the Vatican where the man is reaching out to the angel, or God but never touching, never feeling him besides being naked in the middle of a meadow for anyone to discover. I feel so naked when I'm with Caleb, as if all of my faults are there for people to see because he constantly calls them out, mentioning them when I'm happy, sad or vulnerable
My pumps trip occasionally but I am on a mission and damn it, when I'm on a mission nothing will go according to the fucking plan, besides my hair looking like those pretty girls in muggle movies when they walk down high school halls but then again I'm hotter than hell, his hell. Caleb, suck it. I feel my hair splaying like fire behind me, my eyes flashing and my lips looking luscious because of the lip-gloss Lusciously Bitchin' by some lonely makeup designer. Okay, Lily, do it now. I trip again, of course, but grab onto a curtain with my long red nails looking oh so attractive with my leg awkwardly bent to an angle. I hope I ripped the forsaken thing.
"CALEB!" I shout, mounting the stairs while the butler lets me in, eyeing my attire with a ghostly grin. "CALEB ERIC EYRE!" my cute, over the top, stupid boyfriend stalks in looking livid.
"What the hell, Lily," he scowls, sitting in an armchair. "Call me next time, won't you?" I send him the death glare and cross my perfectly shaven legs, making him instantly alert.
"Are you being pissy again?" he sneers. He's got some stubble, is black haired and grey eyed. His fingers are worn from playing piano, and his career is making music for movies, he's a god. He's every girl's dream, a moody little artist with a sense of pride and an irritating stage presence that makes me feel as if I am merely an ornament on his badass motorcycle. "What is it, that time of the month?"
"Look, Caleb," I begin sweetly. "We're not working, you're done, and I'm cutting you off." He's silent and I see his knuckles go white. I've seen him swing at people but I can defend myself better than him, in his hung-over rage, can swing at my tiny frame. No one has ever defeated nor refused him anything so I'm interested to see how this will go.
"What the fuck, Lily," he intones. He does not look so cute anymore with his brooding, narrow eyes and the angry purse of his lips. I want to laugh, but I do have some humanity.
"You're done, we're done. It's been a long time and this is not working and you are wasting my time! And since you're not exclusive for me, I'm sick of trying for you, so we're done." His room smells of cologne and some other beezy's perfume, probably the girl I saw leaving through the back of his alley. Or maybe the one I saw sneaking out of his limo last Thursday? Either one.
"Lily, you don't anything and you're stupid. Just jump into my arms so I can buy you some more Louis Vuitton handbags," He drawls arrogantly. My red hair feels like it wants to whip him in the face, wipe that smirk off of his Adonis-like lips, or my purse wants to smash him where it hurts. Talk about insane; I keep thinking inanimate objects will be my own personal hitmen. But I really do want to run him over with a car, maybe the whipped taxi man will do it for me…? My sister Petunia, typical wannabe, normal Petunia will shoot me for this; she loves my 'normal boyfriend', but he's a jerk and I deserve better than him, and she deserves better than Vermin (barely).
LILY: Namie Tai-Li intelligently rolls her sleeves of her shirt up as she wrestles with Burdock roots. Marlene leisurely scopes the room in case one of our classmates miraculously sprouted good looks like a disease. I lounge, re-braiding my hair while my jade green potion bubbles perfectly and Slughorn approaches for his usual Lily-worshipping session.
"Miss Evans! How lovely, you clever girl, perfect and smells just like mint!" I see Sirius miming puking behind Slughorn's back and I put a hand to cover up the smallest of snickers. "Such a potioneer! I'll never know why you're not in Slytherin," Namie rolls her strange gray eyes while Marlene's mouth perks up in one corner in her signature bedroom, half smile.
Professor Slughorn is like a walrus, but he waddles like a duck and most of the time I'm afraid he will fall over or something because he always seems to be sugar-hung over from all of the crystallized pineapple I schmooze into him. He likes to wear colorful shirts and muggle ties, but the shirts are the highlight of the classes because they are pink, yellow, or sky blue with a wacky tie beneath his robes. In my head, he's called 'Supa Slug'.
"Professor, if she was in Slytherin, she would miss out on being one of my most beloved housemates," a familiar voice drawls and I notice with quick interest this yummy man striding purposefully through the door. "Hello ol' Sluggy, ol' boy," he smirks deliciously. "Professor Dumbledore sends his kind regards," typical, another detention for our notorious Marauder leader. I lick my lips and sit with my elbows up, hands cradling my face lazily. James Potter, back from another conference with our Headmaster and he looks positively giddy as if passing a new record for most detentions. This would explain why Sirius looks extremely put out for the entire class period and has growled, several times, at Slughorn.
Slughorn waddles away.
"Lovely Evans," the three Marauders (Peter did not pass the potions O.W.L.) sit in front of me (luckily), while Namie and Marlene, who resumes her eye-sex with Sirius Black, sit on either side of me; like the devil and angel on my shoulder. Sigh; every time Namie falls into concentration-mode (nerd) Marlene starts affair with the back of Sirius' head, I feel lonely and abandoned. God, I sound like such a desperate teenage girl but luckily Namie is rescuing me.
"Yoo-hoo, lovely Evans!" she smiles sweetly, I hear someone catch his breath.
"Namie I'm so bored," I complain nauseated. "Look at Marlene, now she has Sirius' rear all to herself without the fan girls," I ignore the dirty look Marlene shoots me. Namie laughs delicately and packs up her things looking like a model; no, like a doll. She is beautiful with tiny features, Asian hair, Asian skin, rosy lips and cheeks, with the most curious of gray eyes for being full Chinese.
"Give the girl a break, it is not as if Fawn Graceland with her abundant charm has the flu every day," Namie teases. Marlene looks as seductive as ever, practically the female version of Sirius with a catlike grace, a teasing mouth, long limbs but full figure, shockingly blue eyes with mile-long lashes and dramatically contrasting dark hair. She's the prettiest girl in school with every guy at her beck and call, but make no mistake that no girl should go near Sirius while Marlene McKinnon turns his direction, "Marley, truly, put your eyes back in before they melt in some poor bloke's potion."
"He makes me melt," she blushes russet, realizing what she said and gives the two of us a threatening look. "Tell anyone and I will drag your dead bodies through the mud before feeding them to an angry, gargantuan spider." Even when embarrassed, the girl looks perfect. She's an accessory you would love on your motorcycle, a trophy with her bewitching eyes. "Fawn Graceland that biggest fangirl of them all better watch what she drinks."
"Calm your balls Marley," I tell her, unmoved. Her eyes snap to mine and I know instantly that she caught me visually worshiping James, wait Potter, and I cast one of my own 'if looks could kill' glares making her laugh nonchalantly. I try to step on her perfectly pedicured feet and expensive boots, but end up kicking poor Namie in the delicate little shin, her face puckers and she starts swearing at me in Scottish. Yeah, she's Chinese but born in Scotland, go figure.
"Whoa there Tai-Li, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Sirius moves his stool so he's peering over her cauldron (shirt). She ignores him and flips her hair, giggling at what the boy beside her said. Sirius' face turns stony and he starts staring at Marley. Marley, upon seeing the entire little interaction, had a cool look of, 'I could get any bloke in the world and I'm stuck liking this wanker?' "How're you McKinnon?" he asks, attempting to recover.
"I'm small," she says ironically. Uh oh.
"Small?" Sirius asks looking irritated and confused. Oh sweet Merlin, why can't I be anywhere but here? Just block everything out; wow, the room smells like burnt bacon and eggs, the walls are look especially gloomy today, Supa Slug's looking pretty rotund and James is particularly handsome right now-
"Just like your-" damn it, Marlene.
"MARLEY!" I shout and cover her lipstick-ed mouth with my hand instantly; the entire class is watching me now as if I just sprouted a tail or turned into a ferret. "Can you lend me that shade of lipstick? It would look so good with my skin tone," I say feebly. My hand is dyed red from her biting my palm. It's not blood, I hope. I smile winningly and everyone turns away, muttering about how I have gone insane since…blah, blah, blah.
"Nice, Evans," Marlene observes and sends me a quick 'I hate you but love you,' look. "Sirius, go on and kiss the arse of every girl in the world, see if I care." Sirius' eyebrows disappeared into his horrendously attractive hair. He looks confused, and I see him watching Namie through the corner of his eye. Oh Merlin, please don't let Marley catch him!
"Why in Merlin's beard would you care, McKinnon?" the clear use of her surname was an insult to someone like the proud McKinnon.
"Well Black, it does no one any good to see you make one of my best friends squirm when she quite obviously does not want to speak to you!" Namie and I are miraculously the only ones who know of her liking of Sirius so I deign to duck my head and return to my already perfectly done potion. "When a girl says no, she means no!"
"You wouldn't know the meaning of the word," he retorts. Marlene looks as if she was just smacked across the face, and I mutter a charm so that Slughorn cannot hear, one of the charms Snape taught me. I want to wring his neck. Or pour Bubotuber pus into his underwear, but that's immature. Lily, calm down, it's not your fight. The last time you tried to get in between a verbal argument you lost your friend and Marlene's perfectly capable of protecting herself.
"Excuse me?" she deathly whispers. Marlene has never had a boyfriend, Merlin knows that has had plenty of offers but her interest has been solely on Sirius Black since the end of 5th year. Why the girl has never had a boyfriend before, I mean even I have beaten her in that regard! It's beyond me, she's beautiful and has a killer personality, but I guess she just likes Sirius because she can't have him. I mean, we've all be there before.
"You heard me!" Don't draw your wand Lily, don't blast him to smithereens.
"Well you stupid, loathsome, egotistical-" James jumps and looks at me to see if I was the one ranting, but oddly looks irritated when he spies the scene in motion.
"That's my line!" I say in attempt to lighten the mood, and Namie sends me a pitying look. James rolls his eyes and starts leaning in the bench he transfigured into the leaning, spiny chair (like the Godfather) so he could look exceedingly arrogant and uncaring about the entire enactment. I hate you, you delicious hunk a man!
"God you're both stupider than shit," James growls and head-slaps Sirius. "Grow a pair and be gentlemanly." He turns to Marley with a hard stare. "Don't be so pms-y; boys are stupid sots we don't know what we did most of the time so don't be so sensitive when he fucks up!" The entire class is silent, aside from Slughorn whose ears are stilled muffed, but you could have heard a pin drop. I hide a smile and ignore James' wink.
The rest of the class passed by in a blur so I could not even feel my toes; Marley was upset and Namie was enthralled by her shoes, so I just strutted to lunch, virtually by myself if you don't count the zombie sidekicks.
"Oi, Evans!" I turn expecting him, but instead it is Amos Diggory with his signature, Potter-like swagger and careless smile. "H-How are you?" I'm confused. He's taller with wavy blond hair and gray eyes, his muscles are Quidditch toned from being captain and he's a 7th year with enough brains to fill a thimble, you know with it dripping out of the minute holes.
"Um, fine, I suppose," I chuckle uncomfortably. "How's Hufflepuff?" He waves this off.
"Hey, do you like Quidditch?" I titter, I hate flying. I also don't enjoy straddling that uncomfortable broom handle while James Potter shows off swooping and doing aerial flips while I nearly fall off.
"No, not really I'm scared of he-"
"Great! Meet me at the pitch at eight, and I'll fly you around on my broom," he saunters off leaving me lost in the amassing sea of students. I'm dumbfounded and I fear that the boy might have had to many bludgers to the head.
"What in the name of Merlin just happened?" I wonder weakly.
"You've just been asked out," Remus says, amused behind me. "Boys just seem to make today difficult for you - sorry I didn't help and castrate him or them." I laugh and pat his arm sympathetically.
"No, no. Marlene and Sirius fight every other day; when they're not fighting is when I need your help." He smiles softly.
"No, I mean before that, after Slughorn said you should be in Slytherin." I'm still confused!
"What?"
"Oh c'mon Lily, the only other person I have ever seen with that soppy look on their face is James when he looks at you, now you look at him this way and expect no one to notice? I'm not daft Lily, I may be a bloke but I do have eyes." My breath hitches in my chest and my mind flashes back to the Summer, when I could trust people when men were not the enemy. Caleb ruined me, and now I can't see anything but violence in any guy who's interested in me.
I'm scared; I'm not the girl I used to be. Snape and then Caleb changed me and I can't do anything about it. Oh wait, I can do something! I can do what I do best.
I can run.