Disclaimer: Fanfiction (Fan-Fik-shun)

I took down all my stories a year or so ago to polish them up. (This is a repost of a previously posted story with some minor amendments.) Unfortunately, my hard drive then went kaput and I lost most of my work. I know it's a long-shot, but if anyone has saved a copy of "The Photograph Album" or "The Long Forgotten Prank" PLEASE PM me!

'NO!' exclaimed Andromeda, 'absolutely not.'

'But Anna, why not?

'This conversation is over, Ted. I will not hear another word on the subject.'

'It never did me any harm.'

'I thought I said I didn't want to hear any more?'

'But it would make Mum and Dad so happy; they can identify with so little of Dora's life. It would be nice if she experienced some muggle milestones.'

'Why? She's not a muggle. And with the greatest respect to your parents, I don't think they quite comprehend the potential problems of this particular suggestion.'

'What problems?' Ted scoffed.

'Are you honestly telling me you haven't worked that one out? My daughter is not, under any circumstances, going to muggle primary school. She can be taught at home. It never did me any harm.'

Ted raised an eyebrow in a ridiculous parody of his wife. The effect was slightly comical: Ted's open, friendly face utterly failed to pull off the necessary air of arrogance. Andromeda, artfully disguising her amusement as she reminded herself that Ted was insulting her, tossed her head and fixed her husband with her haughtiest, most superior expression.

'I don't remember you getting 7 "Outstandings" at NEWT Level.'

'True, but nor did I start Hogwarts genuinely believing that muggles were inadequate savages who still burnt witches at the stake, and that fraternising with muggle-borns was consequently not just beneath me, but actually a safety risk. I think you're feart. Or maybe you've not quite shaken off all of the old Black family prejudices? Mmm?'

'That was below the belt, Ted. And what sort of word is "feart"?'

'A wonderfully accurate and descriptive one. Just tell me why you're so against it.'

'A hundred reasons! Where to start? Oh yes: she's a witch!'

'But I went to muggle primary school, and I'm a wizard.'

'Yes, but you're muggle-born. There was no danger of you telling your teachers that a fairy lived on your mantelpiece because your daddy grew up with muggle fairy tales and was consequently too soft to evict it; or that your cousin called himself Padfoot and entertained you by turning into a dog and barking at your mother, who, by the way, turned into a cat and hit him on the nose! We can't ask her not to talk about it; magic is so normal for her she doesn't see anything strange in things like that. I don't think she always recognises what's magic and what's not.'

'Most four year olds come up with those sorts of stories; the teacher will just think she's bright and imaginative.'

'Until she turns her hair cerise pink. You really think sending a mischievous four year old metamorphmagus to muggle primary school is a sensible idea? Because it seems to me like the quickest way of making a mockery of the three hundred year old International Statute of Secrecy!

'So tell her not to.'

'She's four, she can't always control it. And what happens when her classmates realise that she never invites them round for dinner? They'll think she's unfriendly, they won't want to be friends with her.'

'Anna, she hardly mixes with anyone anyway! This would actually give her the chance to get to know children her own age.'

Andromeda's resolve quavered at this remark. She had always felt guilt at Nymphadora's lack of friends; Andromeda and Ted's marriage had caused disquiet on both sides of the divide and resulted in Andromeda being ostracised by her family, and Ted being shunned by many of his friends. But this did not change the fact that sending Nymphadora to a muggle primary school would be a recipe for disaster. The havoc that would inevitably ensue didn't bare thinking about.

'And what'll my colleagues in the newsroom think when I have to tell them that Dora's being home-schooled? They already think I belong to some weird religious cult; this'll just confirm it to them.'

'This coming from someone who is continually telling me, and I quote: "you shouldn't care what other people think"? And what's strange about being taught at home? All the children I grew up with had a Governess!'

'Did you actually just use the word "Governess"?'

'Yes, your point being?'

Ted ignored this remark. Every now and again he was reminded of just how different his wife's upbringing had been to his own.

'Dora being at school would give you the chance to get back to work. I know you miss your job…'

'I won't have time! I'll end up spending every spare minute obliviating muggles! And anyway,' she continued loftily, 'educating my daughter will be a very worthwhile occupation.'

Ted rolled his eyes.

At that moment the argument was interrupted by the front door opening and the pitter-patter of four year old feet running through the hall accompanied by an excited war cry of 'mummymummymummymummymummymummy'. Andromeda was nearly thrown backwards as a tiny figure with dark blonde hair threw itself at her.

'Hello, darling,' said Andromeda, scooping her daughter up into her arms, 'did you have a fun day at Granny and Grandpa's?'

'No,' Nymphadora scowled.

'No?' Andromeda looked confused: Nymphadora adored her grandparents, and they always spoilt her rotten.

The child momentarily buried her head in her mother's shoulder, before drawing back and looking into Andromeda's face with doleful eyes.

'One of Granny's friends visited uninvited and she wouldn't go away. Granny kept trying to tell her we were busy doing big, important things but she wouldn't listen. And she kept telling me off when I tried to talk to Granny saying little girls shouldn't interrupt, but she was interrupting me. And Granny's friend doesn't know about magic, so I couldn't play faces with Grandpa. It was really boring; and she said my name was…fivvillus'

'Frivolous?'

'and ridiculous and that I was a bad girl for fidgeting and deserved a smack. I wanted to have your wand and then I could've pointed it at her and said "ridiculous" and she'd've disappeared in a puff of smoke 'cause I think she was probably a boggart.'

Nymphadora said this all apparently in one breath, her voice getting more impassioned with indignation as she went on; her little face looking increasingly like it was on the point of tears.

'What's wrong with my name?'

'Absolutely nothing, darling,' said Andromeda, tense with fury that anyone could speak to her baby like that. Even Bellatrix had not insulted Nymphadora when she had bumped into her in Diagon Alley (in fact she had been rather pleasant to the metamorphmagus until she had noticed Andromeda and realised who the child was, whereupon she had simply thrown her sister a look of disgust and taken her leave). Andromeda looked over at her husband; Ted looked livid. 'It's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. You don't want to listen to what vile old boggarts say. Though I imagine she was actually a hag, but you don't want to listen to them either.'

'What did Granny say about this?' Ted asked his daughter.

'I couldn't hear; the boggarty hag lady had a very loud voice. But then Auntie Tessa came and took me to the park. We had big ice-cream cones with chocolate flakes and raspberry sauce and we played in the fountain. I liked that, but I still didn't get to play with Grandpa, or talk to Granny,' Nymphadora pouted.

'And Granny was just as annoyed about it as you were, titch,' her aunt's voice came from the doorway.

'Marjorie Dursley,' Tessa said to Andromeda as she entered the room, 'isn't Mum's friend at all, she's just a neighbour who likes to come round and annoy us every now and again. But she's awfully bullish and won't take a telling at all. Please don't think Mum said nothing to defend Dora: she did, but it just washes over the old hag's head. She told her to leave several times, but in the end it seemed better to remove Dora than to have her the centre of an argument. Mum looked positively murderous; and you know how gentle she normally is, it takes a lot to rattle her.'

Andromeda, satisfied that her daughter (whose hair was back to its favoured bright pink) was not permanently traumatised, placed her down and embraced her sister-in-law.

'It's good to see you; I miss you when you're away at university.'

'Only one more year left, and I'm hoping to get a job near here. But why don't you come and visit: apparate over?'

'I don't like side-along apparating Nymphadora. I'm always worried she'll let go and end up lost somewhere, or splinched, or lost and splinched.'

'Or you could get the bus. There's a coach from the local station that stops directly outside my flat. Ted could see you on to the bus and I would meet you at the other end.'

Tessa's mouth twitched in amusement, as she knew what the reaction would be to that suggestion. The fact of the matter was that old habits die hard and Andromeda was simply not comfortable in the muggle world. For a girl who had been brought up as an aristocrat, learning the correct way to conduct herself and assured of her place in wizarding society, having to move in a world of which she was completely ignorant was a source of unimaginable terror for her. Sure enough, a look of fear crossed Andromeda's eyes, before she swiftly changed the subject.

'What sort of job are you hoping to get?'

'Tessa's training to be a primary school teacher, Anna,' said Ted with a grin. 'Just think, if she gets a job round here, Dora could go to the same school. You wouldn't have any objections to her teaching Dora, would you?'

Andromeda glared at her husband.

'Your sister has just said that she has another year left of studying. Nymphadora is of school age this September.'

Tessa looked from her brother to her sister-in-law with confusion.

'Am I missing something?'

'Your brother seems to think that my daughter should attend muggle primary school after the summer.'

'What's wrong with that? She's four isn't she?'

Andromeda threw her head back and screamed in frustration.

'Look at her.'

Nymphadora was sitting playing with the cat. Her hair was pink, but as they watched she scrunched up her face and her hair changed to a stripy grey to match her pet. The animal let out a miaow of approval, the child giggled, scrunched her face up once more and sprouted a set of whiskers, before excitedly shouting, 'come on Mummy, you can join in too.'

Andromeda threw her husband a look that plainly said, 'See?' before transforming into a sleek black cat and leaping to her daughter's side. Tessa shook her head in wonder.

'I will never get used to her doing that, but yes, unless you want the existence of the Wizarding World to be splashed across the front page of the Daily Mail, I think your wife has a point about muggle primary school.'

Ted could have sworn he heard a satisfied purr of victory.

Tessa then turned her attention to her niece.

'Dora, toots, you're coming to my birthday party on Saturday, aren't you?'

The child nodded vigorously.

'How old are you going to be?'

'Twenty-one, that's why I'm having a big party; I'm becoming a proper grown-up.'

Nymphadora, now minus the whiskers, but sporting a pair of pointy ears, was absent-mindedly tickling the chin of her mother in her animagus form.

'But Mummy says people become grown-up at seventeen.'

'Witches become grown-up at seventeen. Us muggles can't seem to make up our minds on the correct age, but 21 is traditional, I suppose.'

'Can Sirius come to your party? He thinks you're pretty. He says he wants to take you out to dinner.'

Andromeda, unable to contain herself, returned to human form, and as she caught Tessa's eye they both burst out laughing at Nymphadora's innocently made remark.

'Tell your cousin that charming as he is, I'm not a cradle-snatcher; anyway, he's not actually interested in me, he's just trying to get a rise out of his mother by being able to say he's dating a muggle. Despite the fact he no longer lives at home, your big cousin still revels in annoying his parents.'

'The Blacks are going to think our family have been sent by Helga to destroy them,' said Ted conversationally as he watched his daughter repeating the words "not a cradle-snatcher" to herself as she tried to remember the phrase.

Tessa shook her head.

'I can't believe the little brat is using Dora to try and talk me into it, I'll be having words.'

Andromeda was shaking her head; a grin plastered across her face; tears pouring down her cheeks.