(Go read Jnwiedle's webcomic Helvetica! ~)
The dream ripped Steak from his sleep abruptly, and he shot up in a cold sweat, suppressing his body's trembling. His harsh breathing was loud and his first worry was that he might have awoken Heavens. The man in the room next to his was a very light sleeper.
He made his way to the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face and leaning his weight against the edge of the counter. It had been a long time since he'd had a brutal dream like that. His past was full of things that made his blood run cold, and it came back to him the strongest through his sleeping mind. When he was helpless to stop it. His hands were still shaking, and he gripped the cold marble counter hard.
Living in this expensive place, working as a greeter, arguing with Heavens; it all had felt like a revival, taking him away from his past. It was a new life- or new death. A new death that he'd lived for years now. It was like being reborn or like getting a second chance; but the shadow of his earlier years never dissipated. He knew it never would. And on nights like these, it came back to haunt his mind with a vengeance.
He snuck out of his room, doing his best not to make any noise, and opened the sliding glass to the balcony. It was 2am, and the sky was a black-blue. Living in Cervical Square, you got a nice view of the sky. But the wealthy surroundings of the living arrangements had always made him feel antsy to get out for a while. Which, he supposed, was why he loved being a driver. Even if it was just for greeting newbs and chauffeuring them around Farwolaeth.
The fresh air was cool, making him feel calmer. But this particular dream had been so vivid and cruel; he'd relived what he never wanted to remember. And that sort of thing would stick with his core for a long while. It wasn't something he could shake off, and he hated that. On bad nights like these while he'd lived with Heavens, Heavens had once tried to comfort him by telling him he was so affected because he was truly a good person. Steak never quite knew if he believed that.
Speaking of Heavens, the light of the kitchen lit up in the apartment behind him, making Steak sigh. He must have been loud in his sleep if he'd woken him up, and that irritated the living shit out of him. He didn't like bothering Heavens with his past. He didn't like bothering anyone. He was usually good at keeping it away from his everyday life, and it only really came out in his sleep these days.
Heavens gave him a good bit of time before cracking open the sliding glass door behind Steak. He'd always been good at giving Steak space, and Steak did the same when Heavens had his bad days. They both had their share of troubled pasts. They'd been dead a long time. "Tea?"
Steak rubbed a hand over his skull, blinking over his shoulder at Heavens with tired eyes. "Sure."
Heavens already had two cups prepared, knowing how Steak liked his brewed. He stepped outside and handed the hot mug to Steak. He was still wearing one of his plush sleeping robes, black with a blue tie around his waist. Steak preferred to just sleep in plain gray slacks and a sweater.
They sat down on the outdoor cushioned bench, and for a while they both just drank in silence, looking up at the stars. Steak was still tightly wound up, and Heavens could see it in his posture.
The two sure made an odd pair. They fought constantly; Steak thought Heavens attitude was pretentious and uptight while Heavens complained Steak was annoying and brutish. But surprisingly to everyone who knew them, they worked very well together. And truth be told, they enjoyed each others company, even when they actively tried to piss the other off. Before he had gotten comfortable with Heavens, Steak would have hated having someone like him around on bad nights. But now, it just felt natural to be sitting by his side. It even helped calm him down, somewhat.
Except Heavens kept glancing at him from the corner of his eyes, which was driving him crazy. "What?" Steak huffed, knowing Heavens was wanting to say something.
"Well, it's just- well." Heavens shifted in his seat, crossing his legs and taking another sip of tea.
Steak shot him an exasperated look when as he shuffled around, stalling for time. He was shocked to see Heavens actually looking very nervous and avoiding eye contact. After letting the silence stretch and uncrossing and recrossing his legs for the third time, Steak snapped quietly. "What the hell is it?"
Heavens just looked more worried, but he cleared his throat and tried to look dignified. "Would you like to talk about it?"
Steak stared at him blankly. When he didn't say anything, Heavens met his eyes and fought not to look away, looking very shy. "Just... if you would like to." His voice tried to sound normal, but it was still soft.
Heavens knew Steak hated how his past affected him. He himself could empathize with his own issues, which Steak knew. And while they found each other comforting, they never liked to lean too much on the other. Being a burden just wasn't something they could stand.
So sitting next to each other, drinking tea- this was enough. It was the perfect amount of support. Or at least, the type of support that they had adapted to deal with. In the beginning, the first times they'd been awoken at night with dreams while living together, Heavens had urgently assured Steak that he was fine, pushing Steak away and snapping at him if he'd tried to help in any way. Steak had just left the apartment altogether, and ignored Heavens's concern with a cold shoulder, freezing him out. Over time, it happened enough around each other that they learned to just deal with the others presence and concern. It took a very long time before it wasn't uncomfortable.
They'd been partners for so long that they couldn't help but be fond of the other, despite their differences. But they were always cautious with their kindness, only letting it seep out in special times. Being sweet to each other had happened naturally, but they kept it to a minimum.
So this was new. And Steak didn't know how to feel about it. He felt his walls rising; his instinct to push Heavens away coming on strong. He did not want to talk about it. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to forget.
Heavens could guess as much, which was why his body was vibrating in nerves. Feeling it through the bench, it snapped Steak out of his state and he looked away, releasing Heavens from his stare. He heard Heavens take a quiet shaky breath beside him, still tense.
"It's fine, Heavens. Relax."
"Mmn. 'Kay."
The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but Steak found it annoying. He was now hyper aware of Heavens every fidget due to the high tension. "What's on the agenda today?"
Heavens glanced at him. "You want to discuss work at two in the morning?"
Steak shrugged. "Why not."
"Why not..." Heavens muttered to himself, pulling his phone out from his pocket and flipping through his schedules. The next few minutes they discussed what they were doing, finishing off their tea. It made things feel regular again. Maybe one day they would completely open up about how their past made them feel, but not tonight. They already had a solid understanding of the ordeals that each had gone through, and that was enough for Steak today. The fact that Heavens had reached out even more made his chest feel constricted and warm. The little ways they showed each other that they cared always did. And just like that, the darkness around Steak's heart and mind started to clear.
When Heavens was finished reading out what they had to do and they fell back into their nice quiet, he yawned. "Sorry, for waking you." Steak said, realizing he hadn't apologized. "And thanks for the tea. And for... whatever you just tried to do."
Steak smirked at Heavens light blush and soft glare. "My pleasure." He waved his hand in Steaks direction. "Now enough thanking me, least you hurt yourself."
Steak chuckled softly. "I'll make you crepes in the morning. Go back to bed."
"Only with you." Steak raised his brow, and Heavens fumbled over his words, blushing again. "Only if you go back to sleep as well, I mean."
"Nice save."
"Oh, shush. We don't need any more of those jokes."
"I couldn't agree more." Steak got up, knowing Heavens wouldn't until he moved first. Heading into the kitchen, Steak rinsed his mug and held out his hands for Heavens, loading them both into the dishwasher. "Now, really, go sleep. You're an ass when you're tired."
"I'm going, I'm going. So you better as well, because you're ten times worse than me when you don't sleep."
"Yes sir." Steak shot him a smile before he turned the corner.
"Good night, Steak." Heavens called out.
"Night, Heavens." Steak replied, washing out the teapot Heavens had forgotten about.
Yes, they made a great pair. No one had the capability to chase away each other's darkness like them. They worked, even when they wanted to chuck the other out the window most times.
And as Steak turned out the lights, he smiled to himself. Yeah, his life wasn't so bad.
