"Harry Potter at the Oscars"

By Loki Palmer

Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. It is amazing to note that four of the films in the Harry Potter series have been nominated, but none has won an Oscar. The Academy has one more chance to give an award – naturally, we Harry Potter fans will be waiting on the edge of our seats …

In the meantime comes the interesting fanfic question, "What if the Harry Potter characters were to show up for an Oscars ceremony among themselves?"

To my Muse: yeah, you can tell everybody this is your song (though technically, it's more like OUR song …)

First off, a bit of time with the Host and Hostess before the ceremony ...

Chapter 1

Knock, knock, knock. "Loki, are you in there?"

"Angel, is that you? Come on in."

Angel walked into the room to see Loki with his head in his hands. "Loki, what's wrong? You nervous or something?"

"What does it look like? Of course I'm nervous! We're both about to give an awards ceremony out there – how do I know I won't make myself look like a total idiot out there?"

"Loki, dear, look at me." He didn't lift up his head, so she grasped his chin and lifted it so she could see his blue eyes. "Loki, I know you won't make yourself look like an idiot for two reasons. First of all, you aren't a total idiot. If anything, you're a genius."

"No, I'm not –"

"Yes, you are a genius – don't sell yourself short! Where's that Gryffindor bravery that would send the Pureblood bigots running for their lives? Where's the Hufflepuff loyalty to your fans and to your friends? Where's the Ravenclaw intelligence and hunger for knowledge? Most important of all, where's that psychotic Slytherin smirk you have on your face before you pull off an amazing prank on a character you hate? You have all that and so much more!"

"Thanks for your vote of confidence. What's the second reason?"

"The second reason is that I'll be with you in this."

"You will?"

"Every step of the way, Loki. Now, get your dress shirt and jacket on, and let's see how good you look."

Loki did so, noting how the color of his shirt complimented his eyes. Knocking back a couple more cups of Coca-Cola, he looked at himself in the mirror and whistled. "Wow – I'm looking good."

"Now, get your Cute Catholic Ass out there, you stud."

Smirking, he said, "No, the Cuter Catholic Ass goes first."

Laughing, she gave him an affectionate swat on the arm. "Prat."