She looked on his eyes, his big blue eyes that stared at her lips every time she looked at them.
He couldn't look her in the eyes; he couldn't do it as long as he was there. As long as he watches them, unable to feel a thing; not because chose to but because he was forced to.
He knew that if it wasn't like this she wouldn't be with him right now; she would be with his brother. She wouldn't even think of him for a second.
There is something between them. It has always been like that but it would never be more than what its now.
She loves someone else, she is obsessed with someone and it's not him. He would want it to be him; he craves for someone to love him like that.
All he had ever done in this life, in all those years was to fall in love obsessively and get hurt each time.
They were too much alike and it kills him every time how they both haven't chosen him, that they preferred someone else.
He hated to be fragile, vulnerable but that's what she did to him. She made him vulnerable; and for some reason he didn't care, all he cares about is keeping her alive. Make sure she isn't harmed.
Over the last year he stumbled, he connected with his sensitive side; which wasn't the best thing for him to do.
He will pay with his life for this love, is aware of the risk and yet still willing to take it. She is worth everything, is worth the life itself.
Sometimes he thinks about what would happen if she was like him, if she'd see how easy it is to trip and fall into this unstoppable craving for blood.
She changed him, and he still was not sure if it's good or bad.
He felt disgusted by his own being and his natural needs, it wasn't right.
If she really cares about him she needs to accept him as he is. She can't demand him to be someone he is not. She can't compare between them.
He needs to close himself to her, to turn off the feeling switch. He needed to look on it from objective point of view. Everything he has done by now failed because of his sensitivity. He puts her in danger because of it.
Maybe he should turn them off, maybe it would be the best for both of them. He can't fool himself to think that one day she will end up with him.
But he can't because she asked him to, because she wants him to feel; she wants him to be vulnerable.
She doesn't love him, she loves his brother. She wants him to become something different, against his nature.
He cannot do a thing but hope that someday, somewhere she would find a place in her heart to love him, and him only as he is.
.