DISCLAIMER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, your attention please! The lyrics to this song, Restless, belong to singer Alison Krauss. I changed a few of the words to make it work, 'cause I don't think that Alanna lived in the time of the telephone. Just wanted to clear that up. The characters belong to Her Holiness, Tamora Pierce. That will be all for now.

Note: This is my first fic, so go nice on me, but don't cut down on reviews, please. I need all the help I can. More will come eventually…

Alanna pulled the tent flap aside, walking into the darkness of evening in the Great Southern Desert, home of the Bazhir. Her loose-fitting blue robe swayed around her feet with the wind as she walked toward the shaman's tent. Two girls lived in the large tent, both of them taught by Alanna herself, while she had been shaman of the Bloody Hawk tribe. Now, she was just another member, living among the women of the tribe.

The two girls were seated around a fire, talking and waving their hands. They barely heard Alanna enter the tent and sit next to them. The younger one, sitting next to the Lioness, wore a pale pink robe with a thin rope of silver on the hem, signifying that she was head shaman. The other wore a blue robber, with a white hem, just so people knew that she, too, was a shaman. "Good evening, Kara. Good evening, Kourrem. What are you talking about?"

The girls jumped at the sound of the knight's voice, staring. The older one, Kara, recovered first. Oh, good evening, Alanna. We were just talking about the day and the weather. It has been beautiful outside lately. I wonder if it's an omen."

The younger girl nodded her head in agreement.

Alanna smiled, knowing that they had not been speaking of the weather. "Well, I was going to invite you to my tent for dinner. Want to join me?"

"Sure, give us a second." They both jumped up and went around the tent, snuffing the candles. "Ready."

Alanna talked as she led them to her tent. It wasn't that big, but the knight could care less. It served its purpose and that was what mattered. With the two shamans, a knight, and a big black cat in the tent, it was crowded, but no one complained. They ate in silence, commenting on something once or twice. The girls petted Faithful, running their hands through the cat's black fur. Chewing on a piece of bread, Alanna thought back on her life. The visit to Maude, sneaking off with Coram, meeting Jon and his friends, her lessons as a page, life as a squire to the Prince, the Dancing Dove and George, her fight with Duke Roger, earning her shield. As her thoughts lit on Jonathan, she realized she missed her prince, both as a monarch and as a man.

Honey, I know you've been alone some,

Why don't you write some, 'cause I love you.

She was jostled back to the present by Kara's voice. "What was that? I'm afraid I was thinking."

"I just wanted to know if you missed your family and friends in the palace," the girl repeated.

"Sometimes," Alanna replied. How ironic that she asks about something that I was thinking about, Alanna laughed inside herself. "I'm usually too preoccupied to even notice that I miss them. I know Thom is safe inside Corus, and Jon is being protected by him. Coram is right here, so I have little to worry about with him. It's George that I'm concerned about."

Kourrem nodded, "Right! He's the thief, isn't he?"

"Yup. He lives everyday with the danger of being caught by my Lord Provost and being hung." Alanna knew that her friend would never be foolish enough to let himself get caught. Alanna took a sip of water, leaning back into a pillow. Her head rested on the ground, red hair splayed in a crown around her head. Her eyes stared at the canvas ceiling. She had lain in this position almost every night in the palace, thinking. The shamans looked down at her. "What? I'm thinking."

"Oh. Is that comfortable?" Kara asked, trying it out with her own pillow. "It is! Hey, Kourrem, this will help us think of new spells to protect the tribe at night!"

Alanna sat up, resting on her elbow. She smiled as the two girls tried out the idea. They were giggling at the idea that looking at the ceiling helped a knight think. "I'll be back. Don't mess up my tent, or I'll have your heads." Alanna picked up a light cloak and swung it around her shoulders. The men of the tribe were sitting around a campfire, talking amongst themselves. Alanna decided to leave them alone and walked around the camp perimeter. Jonathan was fresh on her mind. He had asked her to marry him, to become Queen of Tortall. She had refused, knowing that no good could come from having her as a monarch.

An' honey, I know I've been away some,

I've had to pay some and you have too.

The watch called the tenth hour, breaking the silence. Alanna looked at the sand, kicking it with her slippered feet. The grains were blown into the wind. Her eyes watched two, flying together, as if hand-in-hand. The wind separated them, carrying them apart. Jon and me. We'll never be together again. Ever. The camp was large enough for Alanna to waste at least two hours reaching her tent again. Midnight, she'd reach her tent and turn in. Watchmen waved and made short talk with her as she passed, never occuping them long enough for someone to slip into the camp. The watch was calling midnight when she got to her tent. Kara and Kourrem had cleaned up dinner and set a small fire going in the tent for her. Alanna slipped out of her robe and into a light green one for bed. Faithful curled up on the pillow, resting his head on his paws. The purple eyes followed her as she blew out the candles and crawled into her bedroll.

But the one thing I know: that when I turn out the light,

Visions of you, dear, dance in the night.

Alanna slept fitfully, memories of palace life coming back to haunt her. Ralon beating her up in the stables and halls whenever they were alone. Practicing in the courtyard with Coram's broadsword. She relived every scar, every hurt she had ever earned. Every fight with Jon. She woke up with tears leaking down her face at the memories.