Mudblood. The word echoed through Lily's mind as she wandered back to Gryffindor Tower, arms wrapped tightly around her torso. It occurred to her that because of that word, it probably wasn't very safe for her to walk about the castle at night. Half of her didn't care that it could be dangerous; at least death would stop her emotional pain. Nevertheless, she slipped a hand into her jumper pocket and removed her wand. With a firm grip on her only self-defense method, she looked over her shoulder warily. Nothing was behind her besides the dark of the night.

Mudblood. That wretched word was the reason for her hesitation and fear. Her life was in danger every single second of every single day, and it had taken her far too long to realize it.

She scurried up the steps two at a time and focused on the sound of her shoes slapping against the stone floor. She focused on anything to keep her mind away from the events of the afternoon, though she wasn't very successful.

"A girl like you shouldn't be roaming the corridors at night, Miss Evans," The Fat Lady scolded her when Lily stopped in front of the portrait hole. Lily felt a lump in her throat as she heard her own thoughts echoed aloud. A girl like me. A mudblood.

"Thestrals and hippogriffs," Lily muttered and the portrait door opened and Lily climbed through.

"Lily?" a voice croaked and she froze as the door swung shut behind her. It was warped and he never called her Lily, but the voice sounded an awful lot like James Potter. Great. He was the second to last person that she wanted to see after that afternoon.

After taking a deep breath to mentally prepare herself to grit her teeth and say, "Potter," as she walked by, she looked up from the red carpet of the common room. The sight she was met with was nothing at all like what she expected. She had expected a smirking James Potter ruffling his hair and staring her down with a look of arrogance.

In all actuality, James Potter was sitting on the couch, leaning over his legs, and furiously grabbing at his hair. His lips were parted and there was no expression on his face as he stared at her. His glasses were on the ground by his feet.

"Potter?" she said, almost phrasing it as a question. Lily approached him slowly, treating him like a hippogriff.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled in despair as he ran his hands over his face.

"No, don't…" she protested. She didn't want to talk about earlier. It would just make her cry again.

"No," he said firmly, looking up again and making fierce eye contact with Lily. His eyes were rimmed with red. She sat down next to him quietly. "Let me have it," he glared at her with almost a crazed look in his eyes.

"I don't blame you for anything," she said softly. It was a lie, but she really didn't want to get into it with him.

"Don't bullshit me, Evans. I can always tell when you're lying. I know you better than you think," he said and turned away from her to face the wall. Of course she was mad at him for being a git and asking her out. Of course she was mad at him for doing all of those things and causing Severus to say that awful word. But she didn't say any of that. James didn't force the words out of Snape's mouth. "I fucked up big time," James told the wall in response to her silence.

"We all make mistakes," Lily responded automatically.

"I'm an asshole. It's no wonder you would date the giant squid over me," he laughed bitterly and put his face into his hands again.

Lily pursed her lips. "I'm sorry I said that."

"Why? It's true," he said flatly. Lily sighed.

"No, it's not. You do have some redeeming qualities. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so mean. You just have to understand, when you asked me that—"

"I was blackmailing you into a date by torturing your best friend," he finished and made eye contact with her. She blinked back tears. Talking about it just made it worse. "I hate the fact that I caused you so much pain. If I could just take away your pain, I'd do anything," he confessed. Full-fledged tears streamed down her face now, and she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper. It rubbed the wrong way on her eyelids and she knew they'd be red tomorrow, but she wasn't about to sob like a baby in front of James Potter.

"You didn't make him call me that," she said and lowered her eyes to examine her socks.

"I know. But I made things worse," he said. Lily sucked in a breath. "I'm sorry. I'm being insensitive. I'm asking for forgiveness, and you just want to be left alone. I'm sorry. I'll leave," he said quietly and picked his glasses up off the ground.

"I don't know if you've noticed, James, but we're on the brink of an all-out war right now."

"What does that have to do with anything? You and I are always at odds."

Lily gave a small chuckle. "Not always, James. And not us. The wizarding world," she corrected.

"But still, what does that—"

"Potter, it has to do with everything! My side in the war was chosen for me, long ago. And, I'm afraid, Snape has chosen the other side." Lily shrugged to play it off casually, but a sob snuck up on her and it wracked through her tiny frame.

"You know I'm with you. I haven't chosen the side he did. Twat," he spat out bitterly.

"It was inevitable, and I should have seen it coming long ago," she gasped out while heaving ugly sobs and angrily trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Oh, Lily…" James murmured and his eyes softened. Lily froze as he lifted a hand and gently wiped away a tear with his thumb. When he realized what he had done, he pulled his hand back quickly and eyed Lily carefully. She stared back at him for a few moments, unsure of what exactly had just transpired.

Without exchanging any words, Lily curled up into his side and James wrapped an arm around her. He let her cry as she had never cried before, cry over a boy he despised. Lily and James were hesitant friends. They were most definitely not accustomed to any sort of physical affection with each other. But, as it were, James and Lily were cuddling and holding on to each other like they were clinging on to life itself.

Fin.

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