This is one of my two requests for the Mckay/Weir ficathon and the four requirements were: Ice, feathers, a skateboard, four white mice.
"So, Carson, how are the little patients doing today?" Dr. Rodney McKay leaned against the lab table doing what he did best: annoying people. Today's choice was Dr. Carson Beckett and his four little white mice, which seemed ubiquitous whenever some new drug had to be tested. But Carson, who was used to this interruption every three minutes on the dot, was almost immune to Rodney's habits.
"This requires a great deal of concentration, so if you don't mind…." The Scot barely raised his eyes from the test-tube littered table.
"I'm sure it does." Rodney was bored. He'd drunk way too much coffee and had, surprisingly, nothing to do.
"Yes. Now if you will….." Carson made shooing motions towards the door which Lt. Colonel John Sheppard was quickly moving through on…was that a skateboard?
"Hey Doc! What's up?" Stepping off the board to the appreciative stares of the nurses, John flipped and caught it in a motion so fluid they almost didn't see it. But suddenly, the man was holding the gaudiest skateboard Rodney had ever seen this side of the Pegasus, complete with bright red flames up the side of it.
"Will no one give me a few wee moments of peace today!" Carson abandoned all pretense of being able to concentrate on his work and, throwing his tools down with such a force rivaled only by Ronon Dex, stalked off in search of more ice cubes for his iced coffee. Though how they had good iced coffee in another galaxy was another matter.
"What's his problem?" For a minute, John looked affronted, but shook it off, shrugging, and moved on, "So, what's going on today? Any important meetings I should know about but forgot?"
"Uh, yeah, actually. A meeting with…with…where in the hell did you get that?" Rodney pointed half-disgustedly, half-curiously, to the skateboard which John still held and was leaning against casually. Fly boy show-off.
"This? Oh, our last trip back to Earth. I'm not sure Elizabeth will let me use it, so I figured I'd get it out early when she's sleeping. But anyways, you were saying?"
"Oh, right, well we have a meeting with Elizabeth, Caldwell and Cadman, which Carson should be happy about!" He raised his voice at that and received a grunt of acknowledgment in return. It was now common knowledge that Carson and Lt. Laura Cadman had had a thing going for quite some time now. It was supposed to be a secret, so naturally, everybody knew.
"Yes, I'm glad you remembered, Rodney," Elizabeth waltzed in, smiling widely. The two men turned at her voice and Rodney stood rooted to the spot, an unknown patch of drool forming at the side of his mouth. It wasn't her nice, form-fitting jeans, or her slightly too low cut, v-neck top, but the wonderfully pink feather boa around her neck that did him in. Call him a romantic, or just a weird loser, but he was a sucker for a beautiful, sexy woman in a feather boa.
"Love your theatrical side, Elizabeth," John said amusedly, idly thinking that Teyla would look smokin' in that boa…..
"Do you, John?" She laughed pleasantly and Rodney felt his gut clench, "Thank you. And what do you think, Rodney?" She turned to him with a glitter in her eye meant just for him and he knew it. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, making a wonderful impression of a goldfish.
"It's nice. Very, very nice…..Where'd you, uh, you, uh….uh, oh, right….where'd you….?" Rodney trailed off and Elizabeth smiled even wider, if that was possible.
"I think what he's trying to say is: where did you get that?" John felt he had to help out his stuttering friend even though he had a sneaking suspicion that she understood Rodney perfectly well.
"Our last trip back to Earth. It was a gag gift from a friend of mine. She dared me to wear it for one day. Of course, if there's anything important or official going on, I'll take it off." She laughed again, but this time it was more of a girly giggle, which neither of the men were accustomed to hearing from her mouth. "That and Laur—Lt. Cadman," she automatically corrected herself, "Wanted to see it on me."
"You're friends with Carson's girlfriend? Oooh, intrigue!" Jealously, Rodney observed that John's brain was functioning fine while the two of them were teasing each other like siblings. Rodney, on the other hand, had trouble convincing that brain of his to form any words that wouldn't get him into serious trouble, like "Wow!" or "Oh my God, that's hot and I love you!" Meanwhile, the two others were talking casually about the day, the boa, the skateboard.
"So….about that board…" Elizabeth started, noting, as everyone else did, that Rodney was gob-smacked at her ensemble pick of the day. She smiled slyly at him then turned quickly to John, who was trying to formulate a quick response to the question.
"Aw, come on!" He decided then and there to go with the "It's not fair!" routine that had worked so well on his parents.
"No, John. No aw, come ons. Hand it over." She held out her hands as he started to pout, giving her his infamous puppy look. "Colonel Sheppard….." She warned and he swallowed audibly.
"Fine." He huffed, handing her the skateboard and then snatching it back dangerously, "After today, 'kay? Please?" He wasn't too proud to beg or otherwise grovel when it came to his precious skateboard. Or surfboard, for that matter.
"Rodney? Help me out here?" Elizabeth turned to him and was completely taken by surprise as he dipped her swiftly and kissed her. Quite passionately, actually.
"How's that for help?" He smirked proudly at her, when he had put her back on two feet. "Oh, God! I'm so sorry…I just, uh, I'm just gonna go now….." And with that he ran out the door, down the hall, and turned into some obscure doorway, just as a precautionary measure. Peeking out to make sure he wasn't followed, he heard heavy footfalls coming down the corridor.
"Rodney McKay!" Came the strong male voice from the hallway. Breathing heavily and panicking, Rodney did the only thing he could:
"John! Don't kill me! I couldn't help it!"
"You what! How could you not help it? You so coulda helped it!" There was loud banging. "Explain! NOW!" Uh-oh, he sounded angry.
"Uh, what if I told you that I can't? How would that fly?"
"Rodney!" The growling sound ripping from John's throat was enough to scare any man, woman, or monster into oblivion.
"Okay, okay…..But promise not to kill me if come out?" There was a long pause and John mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Loser-ish, annoying, little bugger…." Wondering if "loser-ish" was even a real word, Rodney took a deep breath and opened the door slightly, to his greatest nightmare: a very pissed-off looking John Sheppard with a P-90 in his hand. And the man knew how to use it.
"Uh….hey there?"