OK. I've decided to re-revive this. This was originally a GameFAQs CYOA topic on the Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door board. I decided to convert it to a story. It got deleted for being in some sort of script format. Then I wanted to bring it back to GameFAQs as the seconds part, but I checked my e-mail. What I saw was the most reviews I've gotten... and it all happened in two days! So, due to the reviews, I'm bringing it back once again in a different format. Without those reviewers, I'd have never done it. Thanks to you all!
Mario's House.
This was the place that me and Luigi hang out. We're the superstars of the Mushroom Kingdom... Mario Bros., as we're commonly called. We (Ahem: ME) usually fight these guys called the Koopa Clan for Princess Peach, the whore- er, elegant, all-WORshipping person.
One day was a completely odd day... a sort of...
Descent into Randomness!
God, I love the dramatic effect.
I'm just lounging around with nothing to do. I'm sitting in bed. Suddenly, Luigi enters the room. Naked Luigi. Not pretty. Naturally, I wasn't going to take this calmly.
"Mamma MIA! You sick freak!" I scream.
Luigi stumbles. "Mario?" Luigi seems dazed. "Um... I'm drunk. REALLY drunk."
I sigh a breath of relief. "Oh, thank god!"
Do that again and I'll kill you, you...
I want to believe Luigi. I just can't shake a feeling that Luigi's up to something. I turn on the television to take my mind off of what just happened. It's freaky for your brother to just walk in naked out of nowhere...
Just then, there's a knock on the door. Luigi goes off to answer it, mumbling something about Karaoke Night down at the bar. I hear him coming right back.
"What was that?" I ask.
"What was what?" He asked, equally interested.
Just then, there's a knock on the door. Is he really out on it, or did some sort of paradox just happen? I wonder. I decide on the former, seeing as he's actually answering the door naked.
"What the f-"
"RAWR!"
Probably another one of Bowser's attacks. I look up to see about one thousand Goombas and a pair of flying things inside the house. Jesus, what ARE those flying things?
"Uh..." I contemplate, looking for the right thing to say. Usually, Bowser'd be stupid enough to send a Cheep Cheep. "Can I help you?"
"Yes," They begin, sounding serious. "I'm sure you know why we're here..."
Luigi puts his head down, as if knowing. But I don't worry about that. How do they all do that in unison? Bowser must have really toughened them up...
Shit.
"You see, Mr. Mario..." They say, narrowing their eyebrows. "You forgot to pay the bills last month."
My world freezes. My thoughts shatter. My mind breaks.
No, he DIDN'T...
I stare at Luigi. I stare at him and his pussified look in general. His eyes are begging for forgiveness.
Goddamn it...
"You fucking bitch!" I yell, louder than anything. "Now I don't have perfect-hollywood-superstar credit!"
"Uh, j-just a minute," He says, being very nervous. "I think a smell something burning..."
He's right. There is something burning. If he's lucky, it's only his dick.
"Uh, guys, can you all, uh, get out of this house for a second?" Luigi timidly asks. "There's like, a thousand of you in at the same time, so it's hard to turn the stove off..."
"Uh, sorry!" They say halfassed. "We're not instructed to do that."
"Can't you at least turn the stove off?" Luigi asked, obviously scared.
"Uh..." They just kind of look around. "We... don't know how. Our wives do that stuff. Besides, we're GOOMBAS! We walk back and forth! We're Nature's organic robots!"
"Mamma mia!" Luigi and I say in unison.
The entire stove's on fire by now. It's actually burning some of them alive. It's spreading all around us.
"Holy crap!" Luigi screams. Wow, something other than the usual.
"Look," I begin, more annoyed than scared. "You guys are gonna burn up. Just get out."
"Whoa, we can't do that." The Assholes say. "We're just that mindless."
"Mario," Said Not-So-Green Guy. "I- I'm scared."
"Don't be a-"
Goddamn him...
He JUST hugged me. I notice that everyone else is officially freaked out. I practically throw him off me.
"Dude!" I say, not in my usual vocabulary. "You hugged me while you're naked! Not only that, BUT YOU WET YOURSELF ON ME!"
I may as well kill him...
"Mail call!" Shouted a familiar voice.
"Shut the fuck up!" I shout back. "There's no possible way this can get any worse..."
Just then, the television's volume increased dramatically out of nowhere. Not only that, but I think it also changed the channel by itself.
"Oh my god, folks! You won't believe this," The News Reporter excited states. "King Bowser has just eaten the World's Biggest Hot Dog!"
I twitch.
That was MY title!
Before I die right now, I have a few thoughts about today...
Why didn't I force my way through those Goombas?
And why the hell didn't I jump out a window?
Fade to black.