A/N Hello! I'm back with a bit of Fem!Ed/Roy. Yay! So, last night, as I was trying to think of a way to start the next chapter of my multi-chapter fic this idea came to me...and I couldn't resist. Again. I really can't resist Fem!Ed. XD So yeah, I wrote this all in one go. The fact that I had been reading several Vamp!Ed fics these last few days influenced me I think, hence this fic. There was no Fem!Vamp!Ed SO HERE I AM!

One little thing you need to know; this is semi-AU, meaning that Roy is in the military and all but Ed isn't. This is the first time they meet.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. :)

CHAPTER ONE

Roy was peacefully sleeping when he felt it.

At first, he thought he was dreaming, but when he started feeling himself drift precariously towards consciousness, he frowned softly at the realisation that he actually wasn't.

He felt the dip in the mattress of his massive bed as an extra weight was applied and then he began sensing movement right on top of him. It was like someone was crawling on him…

The thing that made him muster the courage to crack his eyes open wasn't the feeling of two slender legs straddling his hips, nor the ticklish feeling of long hair on his face. It was the deep, ominous breathing he could feel brushing his neck and face.

Just before he opened his onyx eyes, he took a deep and surreptitious breath to prepare himself, and mentally reminded himself of where his gloves were, his mind already forming some sort of plan, supposing this…person (he was taking a guess here but that's what it felt like) was here to harm him. Being in the military had helped him a lot with keeping his cool even in most dire predicaments, so he managed to stay still and think without giving his awareness away.

Plan ready, he opened his eyes to take a look at the person above him, mentally bracing himself for some ugly weirdo. The ragged breathing was really giving him the creeps; it sounded desperate and inhuman.

Once his vision cleared, he stared at the person above him only for his eyes to widen at the sight before him.

Right there, was a rather beautiful young woman. The hair still tickling his face was a shiny blonde, delicate locks flowing over narrow shoulders and mostly obscuring her body from view. Her eyes were what captured his attention the most. Deep and wide golden orbs stared back at him in an unreadable expression, the shape and colour complementing her ridiculously pale complexion perfectly. Her full lips were parted slightly in need, her breathing coming out in thick brief gasps.

Roy blinked. Well, his plan kind of went out the window. He honestly hadn't been expecting this kind of beauty this deep into the night. Though she did look rather strange…Her eyes were fixed on his, her gaze piercing and cold. Belatedly, he realised her slender fingers were gripping his shoulders with inhuman strength and he barely managed to contain a wince at the pain made known.

"Well…" he started, but the girl seemed to be ignoring him. He gave her an odd look as she licked her lips and felt rather wary of the hungry look she was sending his way. Before he could utter another word, the blonde leaned down and licked the left side of his neck.

Roy's eyes widened as he came to a horrifying conclusion…

…She was one of the crazy ones.

Roy knew he was practically irresistible in Central and could have any lady he wanted. He was rather infamous around town and while that often sent more beautiful women his way, there were times when such beauties were pushed away. Roy had learned to accept that, albeit begrudgingly, and had managed to admit, after a lot of pushing from his subordinates in the military, that not all women adored him.

However…there were times when a woman would fall into another category; the one in the middle or, as Roy liked to call it, the 'In Denial' one. There were some ladies who just didn't outright admit they wanted to be with him. Those, Roy came to find out real soon, were absolutely nuts.

You see, if a friend of theirs asked them they would profusely deny any kind of attraction they felt towards him. Though inside, they wanted him like crazy and would go to extremes to be with him. They usually made friends with one of his ex-dates, more than often ones he had screwed after the date, and slyly and nonchalantly pried his address out of them. Once they had the desired numbers and letters in their hands, Roy knew he was completely doomed. After that they just wouldn't leave him alone!

He remembered once…What was her name…? Cassidy? Oh yeah, that was it. He mentally shuddered at the memory. She had been pretty enough to deserve a night with him, but after that he came to realise the mistake he had made. For exactly two months and seventeen days she had been stalking his every move, making sure he didn't dare approach another female. He had miraculously made her stop when he told her he would definitely marry her in his next life; that really seemed to have made her settle down.

Back to the present. As the blonde continued to lick at his neck furiously, he gave a small somber nod to himself; oh yes, she was definitely one of the crazy ones.

Though that wasn't always bad; there had been women in the 'In Denial' category who were just too shy to admit they had feelings for the oh so great Roy Mustang. He made sure to treat those extra nice. Then again, there were those who looked really promising in bed; like this small blonde currently did. She could definitely use her tongue, holy shit.

Her tongue had nearly numbed the particular area of his neck almost completely, and Roy was just sure there was going to be a mark there tomorrow. Not that he minded; he would have something to gloat about to Havoc the next morning.

This crazy chick had found his address and was currently putting the moves on him – and who was he to reject such a marvelous woman who most likely turned her life upside-down to come here tonight? He shied away from the question of how she got in, how she crept up on him so easily and decided he really didn't care at the moment. He'd ask her in the morning.

"H-Hey," he panted slightly; that tongue was driving him crazy.

She hummed in response and licked harder making his crotch twitch and a groan emit from his mouth. Placing his arms around her, he asked, "W-What's your name?"

She seemed to pause at that and pulled away slightly to look at him, her gaze still cold but this time holding the faintest hints of bafflement. Her confusion seemed odd to Roy; wasn't he supposed to at least know the name of the person he was about to sleep with? Or was she that embarrassed about her feelings towards him she didn't want her name associated with him? Perhaps he should be offended by that…

He really thought she wasn't going to reply, but she surprised him with her deep, husky voice as she uttered a monotonous, "Edeline," and went back to her task.

The return of the touch of her wet tongue on his skin made Roy hum pleasantly and he offered a complacent smirk. "I'm Roy, but–" –he leaned in close to her ear, fingers tangled in her blonde locks– "– I think you already knew that." Giving a deep chuckle, he nibbled on her earlobe softly until he gasped at the way Edeline started sucking on the already irritated flesh.

Roy moaned at the way she sucked just the right amount and licked exactly where and when he wanted her to and excitement bubbled inside him at the realisation that this was probably going to be the best night of his life. This woman seemed experienced – dare he say more experienced than him – and she was bound to make him feel good. Like, real good.

She continued with her sucking, seemingly unaware of his growing erection. He gently grinded against her, letting a curse or two escape his lips. They weren't even naked yet and she was already making him feel like this.

Still straddling his hips, Edeline shifted her position and leaned flat against him in order to have better access to his neck, her breasts flat against his bare chest. She went back to licking, giving brief and teasing licks while grabbing a fistful of his hair and turning his head just the amount needed to reach the flesh.

Roy was feeling complete bliss, until he felt a sharp pain on his chest and he gasped, wincing as the pain subsided. What the hell?

Glancing at his chest, he grimaced at the sizable scratch there, slight blood staining his skin. This woman really had too much strength, it wasn't normal damn it. Deciding it was best to inform her of her absurd strength, Roy took her hand that had scratched him, trying not to recoil from how cold it was. If he didn't know better he'd think she was a corpse.

He offered a shaky smirk, painfully aware of his now throbbing erection, and whispered, "Hey, I know you probably like it rough and all, but I don't really want to get injured." There, that was polite enough.

Edeline froze for the second time and pulled away to stare at his face again. Then, an almost sinister smirk graced her lips, making Roy smother a shiver from going down his spine. Her golden eyes glinted with something cruel as she replied, voice still bearing that husky and rasp sound. It was rather strange. "Oh, don't worry. You'll be more than injured when I'm done with ya."

Roy blinked. Wow, this woman probably wanted it really rough. For the first time in years he wondered, dare he say worried, if he'd be able to live up to her expectations. But then, he internally scoffed; of course he would. He'd make her scream in pleasure.

Unperturbed by her eerie response, Roy raised his hands to wrap around her back, for the first time noticing what she was wearing. What he fisted seemed to be a comfortable tank top, and from the looks of it, it seemed to be a bit big on her small frame. His hands trailing downwards, his fingers brushed against a belt and then some ridiculously tight leather pants.

He could've sworn she was blushing.

His mind went hazy for a moment when the blonde started nibbling on his neck and he briefly wondered if her goal was to leave a permanent mark on him or if she'd move to some other part of his body eventually. That tongue and mouth around his erection sounded like a really good idea right now…

Emitting another involuntary groan, he flinched the slightest bit when the teeth bit a bit too hard for his liking, but then the cool tongue returned, licking away at some liquid…blood…oh shit….

He really was going to be more than injured when she was done with him, but he couldn't find the will to stop her. All this felt too good right now. He heard her moan in pleasure – well, at least she seemed to be savouring every moment she had with him.

"You know," he found himself saying, albeit his words came out a bit slurred. "You're a really good licker…and sucker…"

The girl pulled away again and stared at him again, her golden eyes wide and…was that disbelief swimming in those orbs? Now he was able to take a good look at her…and damn was she beautiful.

Just when he started longing for her voice again, she spoke, and the words flummoxed Roy completely. "You're…you're enjoying this?"

He stared at her, his face blank. Was he not supposed to? Because damn, she was really good. The gears in his mind turned, trying to find a suitable answer and a meaning to her question. It was only natural to enjoy something like this…wasn't it? "Uh…yeah…?" he offered dumbfounded as a response.

She blinked and pulled away from him. It was only then that Roy realised how much colder it was with her on top of him.

She cocked her head to the side in contemplation and Roy stared back, equally puzzled. The hell?

After a moment, she raised her hands in a 'pause' gesture and frowned, her bottom lip sticking out a bit as she thought. Roy found it rather cute.

"You know…" she started, giving him a bizarre look. "You're supposed to be screaming."

Roy blinked again. Then, realisation dawned on him and he mentally scoffed. She was good, but not that good. Outwardly smirking, he said, using his low baritone voice that made the ladies swoon, "Babe, you're good, I'll admit that, but it'll take more than licking and sucking to make me scream."

His smirk widened at her surprised look. She clearly thought he was going to be putty in her hands in the first few seconds…Please. He was Roy Mustang, and it usually went the other way around.

Her cold eyes widened and she leaned in, making her look almost creepy. "You're brave, human," she whispered, her voice raspy as her tongue ran over her red lips subconsciously.

Roy was left with the only intelligible thing to do…he blinked. Oh, yes, she really was one of the crazy ones. God, why were all the best ones off their rockers?

He sighed and leaned back down on the mattress. "Yeah alright, let's continue." He glanced at his crotch in dismay – they really needed to pick up the pace.

Her wide, incredulous eyes blinked and she tilted her head to the side again and Roy barely refrained from groaning. He was hard here!

"You're…you're the first human who hasn't screamed and seems eager to die this way."

At her words Roy's body went rigid and he stared up at her pale complexion in utter bewilderment. "You said…you said die?" She's nuts! his mind screamed. She really thought she was that good? Did she really think her sex was going to kill him?

Oh my God.

Okay, so Roy was aware she was one of the them, the crazy bunch of ladies who were head over heels for him, and he also knew how good she was at licking and sucking – and he was really eager to find out just what other hidden talent she had, but right now…the only thing he could currently think of was…

Run.

Easier said than done.

She was sitting on him again, legs straddling his hips and her hands around his arms in a freaking death grip. She was leaning in closer again and for a moment he thought she was going to kiss him, but she paused just before their lips brushed. Then, she grinned, the menacing smile sending shivers down his spine. But damn…she was attractive as hell.

"Yes, that's what I said," she breathed lowly, her breath much colder than he thought it normal. He shivered.

"So…" he started hesitantly. You never knew with these kinds of women, you just didn't. He decided to play along with her. "You're going to kill me…?"

She licked his lower lip teasingly and he could taste the blood she had been licking from him earlier. Creepy.

"That's what I had initially planned…" she said in that insanely hot voice of hers. "But now…I think I kind of…" –she mocked thoughtfulness by tapping her finger on her jaw and she smirked smugly after licking her white and long teeth thoroughly– "…like you."

Roy…was speechless.

So…he wasn't going to die…right? Ugh, all this was too much for his poor brain to process at freaking four in the morning – the fact that his hard-on was simply demanding his attention wasn't helping either. He figured she wasn't dangerous – she was most likely trying to sound intimidating. He inwardly snorted at the thought of that small chick looking anywhere near threatening.

Realising belatedly that she was staring at him expectantly with a slightly annoyed look on her face, he searched for the right words to say…but nothing smart came to him so he simply blurted out a question. "So I'm not dying, right?"

She chuckled, a low cackling sound that sent both pleasant and fearful shivers down his spine and he looked at her as the smirk was back on her face. She hopped off him completely and sat down beside him on the bed. Grateful, Roy sat up and gazed at her warily. She really didn't seem so bad…

"Lucky you, no you're not. You're the first human that didn't scream when he saw me."

Roy frowned and searched her eyes for anything helpful but found nothing other than those cold golden pools. "Why would I scream? You're not scary or anything." Absentmindedly he raised his hand and rubbed at the sore spot on his neck she had been assaulting.

Now, she seemed offended. "Not scary!?" she yelled, making Roy wince at the high volume at such an hour. Couldn't she be a bit quieter…?

He shrugged, unperturbed. "Well, yeah, you're just a small– "

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALL?!"

Roy jumped at the sudden raise in volume and stared at the seething blonde before him, stunned. Then, he did something he probably shouldn't have; he burst out laughing. Her expression at that moment had been priceless; her whole face had gone from a deadly white to a fierce red and her eyes promised murder as her small –snicker– fists were shaking in fury at her sides. Upon hearing his laughter, she fisted her hands in her hair in agitation and growled ominously, baring her teeth at him.

"You've got guts for a human, you bastard!" she shouted back, eyes narrowing to slits afterwards.

Roy got himself under control and smirked at her. Well, look at that; our little blonde seemed to have a size complex. Raising his eyebrows, Roy figured he could amuse himself a bit by teasing her and simultaneously get some sweet revenge for her stopping their...intimacy. Whatever.

"For a human?" he mused out loud, nasty smirk still plastered on his lips. "And what would that make you, pretty, little blonde?"

Her eyebrow visibly twitched at the word 'little' but she took a deep, steadying breath and mustered a smirk with some kind of superiority. "Hm. I'm a vampire. I'm not like you, petty humans."

"Right," Roy deadpanned.

Vampire? He mentally shook his head. Too many novels, that was her problem. Too many novels. But that wasn't going to dissuade him; she was hot as hell and experienced, and if he wasn't getting any today, he just had to make sure he did eventually. There was no way he'd let her get away from him.

"Anyway," he brushed the subject aside and grinned childishly, leaning in. "Can I have your number?"

If looks could kill, he would've died ten times over by now.

A/N Oh Roy...

This fic is a two shot - Chapter one from Roy's POV and Chapter two from Ed's POV. The next chapter will be up in a few days, a week most. :)

Reviews, favourites and follows are appreciated.