Doctor Who
Prove It: Multilingual
Note: The Boldis the Tardis talking in the the Doctor's mind. This takes place some time after School Reunion but before The Impossible Planet, and its AU from there. For some reason, directly prior to this story, the Tardis' telepathic translation thing-a-ma-bob stopped working and the Doctor tried to improvise. Badly.
"I thought," Rose panted as the Tardis door slammed shut, "That you spoke their language! Properly!"
"I did! . . . About six hundred years ago."
"Six hundred years - Doctor!"
"What? I didn't do too badly."
"Right. And the reason we were running for our lives, then?"
"Exercise?"
"You're impossible!"
"Thank you." He did a little bow.
Rose laughed. "So, what did you actually say to them?"
"Oh, something akin to 'your parents were gargoyle's,' I believe. Which is completely untrue, by the way, because I've met their parents. Nice people, and very un-gargoyle-like." He nodded.
"Ah. So, you dragged me to this planet so you could insult people you like in a language you can barely speak?"
"No! Well, yes, but not on purpose. You can hardly expect me to keep up with every evolution of every language in the universe."
"Can't I?"
"Alright, maybe you could. I don't know, let me check. There'd be all the earth languages, that'd be close to five thousand right there. Rose, why does your planet have so many languages? It's one of the only worlds with more than ten!"
Rose shrugged.
"Right, so, we round Earth to five thousand, and then there's-"
"Oh, no you don't. You can't just go listing all those languages, you've got to say something in them. Otherwise, how's a girl to know you're not just making up numbers?"
"Fine, then, what should I say?"
"How should I know? Surprise me."
He considered a moment. "Alright. You may want to sit down, it could take a while."
After Rose had complied, she nodded at him and he began. Pacing across the room, hands clasped behind his back, he went through every language he knew, some more exotic than others. Several hours later he finally slowed to a stop.
"And that's without all the Earth languages. Do I really have to go through them all? I'm bored."
Rose considered making him continue for a moment. She was most certainly not bored, listening to (and watching) the Doctor.
"Oh, alright. You don't have to go through them."
He grinned. "Right then, that's. . .651,692,339,651,785,423,399,871,750. So, over four-fifths of all the languages that ever will be."
"Show off. So, what'd you say?"
"It was an apology. Most useful phrase in the universe."
Liar.
"Oh. Well, if you don't need me then, I'm just gonna go to my room." She got up and turned to go.
Tell her the truth.
"Rose." He called.
She paused at the door and turned around. "Yeah?"
"I lied."
"'bout what?"
"It wasn't an apology."
"So what was it?" She leaned back against the door.
He met her eyes and she found herself unable to move as he started to walk toward her.
"Doctor? What was it? What did you say?"
He stopped only an inch in front of her, doing nothing but staring down at her.
"Doctor?" She said in a small voice. "Doctor, you're scaring me!"
He put his hands o n her shoulders.
"Doctor?"
"Rose."
"What are you-?"
He cut her off by putting one finger to her lips.
She nodded.
Doctor, tell her.
The finger on her lips was removed, and the hand cupped her face, forcing her chin up.
"Rose Tyler, I love you."
Her barely audible gasp of surprise was stiffled by his lips on hers, just as soft and supple as she'd imagined (not that she'd imagined often, mind you). Her hands, previously crossed over her chest, fell to her sides in shock before he regained enough sense to wrap them around the Doctor's neck, pulling him closer.
Neither could have broken eye contact if they'd wanted to, not that either wanted to. Finally, much sooner than either would have liked, they were forced to separate for air.
"Wow." Rose breathed.
The Doctor simply nodded in reply.
"And you really said that in all those languages?"
"All 651,692,339,651,785,423,399,871,750 and one. Yes."
"I didn't picture you as the sappy time."
"I am not sappy."
"Oh, really."
"Yes, really."
"Prove it."
Doctor, if you two make a mess on my controls, I will personally make sure the next month of your lives is full of misery.
"Right." He said, looking up. "Not here then."
"Who are you talking to?"
"Tardis." He said absently. "Practically threatened to send us to hell if we don't get to a bedroom."
"Now I don't she said all that."
"Well, maybe not those exact words, but the meaning's the same."
In the now empty control room, the Tardis controls flashed, and a sound not unlike laughter crackled through the static on the speakers.