Hello everyone.
Here comes my second and newest story on All Time Low. It's a Zachary Merrick fiction and I hope you'll enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoy writing it. I have 5 chapters written so updates shouldn't take too long on that one.
As a matter of fact, none of this ever happened and I own nothing more than my imagination.
Chapter 1: I've got a feeling
I wish I could say that I've always known what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be but that'd make me a liar. I imagined myself as a healthy and happy ballet dancer, engaged to her very first love. I've never been a good dancer and my first love won't be my last love. My life is nothing like what I used to picture but I achieved my main goal. I'm a happy and healthy 21 years old woman who just moved in with her amazing boyfriend and may get her dream job as a music manager. I have nothing to complain about and yet, I feel like something's wrong. It may just be the fact that I moved back to my hometown after three years of running away. I don't know but I have no time to work myself up about it. I've got a job interview to attend and I can't mess it up. I have done nothing but mope around over the last month. I have to get out of the apartment. I have to get a life outside of Luke and Faith. I have to stop being scared to bump into old friends.
"Kahlan Carter." Finally. I started to think they had forgotten to write my name down on that list. We were like fifteen persons in the room, now there's only two left. I have to say that it's a relief to not be the last one.
"Hi, I'm Keith Lazorchak." Oh gosh, I'll never be able to call him by his full name. That is seriously unpronounceable. If I ever get that job, I'll have to train myself in front of a mirror. I can hear Luke's laughter behind me already.
"Nice to meet you." I could have gone with 'nervous to meet you' but I don't think that would have sound very good. He looks even more impressive behind that large desk. I don't like job interviews all that much. I do hope that's my last one.
"I see that you've managed quite a few bands already." Great, he's read my resume. It shouldn't come as a surprise though. They must get thousands of resumes every day and make a choice among them. They have to read them all in order to get the best person to do the job. I suppose.
"I'm impressed by your recommendation letters." I knew they were going to be a nice addition to my resume. I used to be in touch with radios and magazines headmasters when I was in high school. They helped a lot with the band I managed back then and always told me to call if I needed anything. I didn't see any reason not to use their influences.
"Do you know any of the bands we manage?" I knew it. I knew he was going to ask me that. I did get a list but I didn't even glance at it. I'm not here to work with some of their biggest bands and that usually is the only names written on these sheets of paper. They could have a contract with the Rolling Stones or the Beach Boys that I wouldn't care.
"You mostly sign rock bands and that's the music I'd like to spread over the world. That's all I need to know." I should have lied and told him that I knew a few of them. He wouldn't have asked which one anyway. They never do; not on the first interview at least.
"We have some big names on our hands, we can't afford to mess it up. I mean, imagine the drama if All Time Low gets bad publicity because of us." I've heard him wrong. There's no other explanation. All Time Low are signed with Hopeless Records. Hopeless Records doesn't hire small agency to work with them. He did not just mention All Time Low as if it was one of the bands they manage here.
"That's why we need to make sure that you'll be able to deal with anything." I can't be the person they're looking for then because there is one thing I can't deal with right now and it is working with All Time Low. It may be a dream to many girls but it is definitely not mine.
"I love what I'm doing and I give 100% of myself to it but I can't tell you that I'm the best person for that job. Not only would it be presumptuous of me but it would also be a lie. You're looking for perfection and I have my cracks." I know that's not the smartest thing to say but I don't care anymore. I don't want to be a housewife all my life but I can't work here. I just can't. It'd be way too messed up. I've got my life in order; it's not to have it fucked up by them again.
"When do you want to start?"
Out of all the management groups in the country, I have a job offer from the one who works with the only rock band I can't deal with. I'm gonna have to decline. That's the only solution. I can't work with All Time Low. I can't even take the chance to bump into them at the corner of a corridor. I'm not ready to see them again. I'm still trying to heal the scars they left on me. It'd be so much easier if I could just forget everything that happened three years ago.
"How did the interview go?" I think my sister is genetically unable to start a conversation with a 'hi, how are you?' but I don't know where it could come from. Then again, she's five years older than me and our parents didn't raise us the same way.
"I got the job." I couldn't sound more desperate if I wanted to. This is just so fucked up. I've got the job I so desperately wanted but I can't take it. I should have known better than to move back to Baltimore and hope to never hear about All Time Low ever again.
"Why don't you look happy?"
"AMG manages All Time Low." And that is enough said. A light goes on behind her eyes. She doesn't need more to know where I'm going at. She's always been my best friend and confident, she knows everything that happened and more.
"What are you gonna do?" If I knew what to do, I wouldn't have called her. I love my sister to pieces but I'm not a fan of suspicious meetings in coffee shops. I can't stand Starbucks anymore. I used to have a daily stop here back in high school but now, it only brings up painful memories.
"I can't work with them, Fay." I sound like a little kid afraid to sleep and be attacked by some monster hiding under the bed. That is pretty much how I feel too. My past is my ugly monster under the bed.
"And you won't. They are one of their biggest bands, if not the biggest. Do you think they'll leave it to a freshly graduate girl?" Faith has a way to rationalize everything but she's right. I've checked that list after my interview and All Time Low is their most known band, they must want the best for them and I'm definitely not the best.
"They still come in there every so often." And now I sound like a whiny little kid who doesn't want to have a bath. I know that I'm being irrational or whatever. I know that I'm bound to see them at some point. We live in the same town now and they don't lock themselves in their suburban homes.
"Look Kahlan, you can't run away your whole life. You've been gone three years but you're still hanging onto what happened that day. You have to move on and for that to happen, you have to let go of the past."
"I hate it when you're right."
It's going to be the biggest disaster of all times and my biggest mistakes ever. There's no other word to describe what I'm about to do. I must be crazy or masochistic. I do believe both words means the same thing, though. Things are going to repeat themselves. Hearts are going to be broken and tears are going to fall. There's no happy ending to my story. I should have known that from the start. I should get out of here and never look back. I shouldn't rush straight into hell. I should avoid it.
"Ms. Carter. I didn't expect you to come back so soon." Crap, it's too late to run away now. I could just tell him that I'm here to decline his offer. No, I can't do that. I have to face my demons and let go of them. I have to move on in order to have my happy ever after with Luke. I have to do this.
"Is the job offer still on?"
"Definitely, yes."
"Show me the contract." Oh, assurance. I didn't know I had it in me. It's kind of logical though. After all, I've been managing bands for six years. It asks a lot of arguments to convince local radios and clubs owners to play them.
"Follow me."
"Kahlan?" If I had known about Nano being here, I would have walked faster. I should have known that it'd be here. The guys never let their friends down or behind; unless said friends let them down and leave far away first.
"Wow, you didn't change at all!" I'd like to think that I did change a little but it may not be all that noticeable on the outside. It's more of a personality change. I used to be a shadow in the dark, now I'm my own person. I think.
"I could say the same about you."
"What are you doing here?" Ah, straight to the point we go. That is the Nano I used to know. He's always been quite the charmer too. If I didn't have the perfect boyfriend at home, I'd be swooning over him right now.
"I just got a job." And by the look of it, he believes it just as much as I do. It is unbelievable though. I ran away from these guys' years ago and here I am, back in town to work with their management group. It sounds like a bad movie.
"I know it sounds crazy."
"No, it sounds great. I can't wait to work with you again and I'm sure the guys will be thrilled to have you back." I won't bet on it. One of them broke my heart but I bailed on all of them. I didn't just leave my boyfriend that day; I also left my best friends. How could they forgive me? I haven't done so myself yet.
"I know it's a lot to ask but could you keep it quiet? I'm not ready to face them yet. I know it'll happen eventually but I need time." I will never have enough time but I don't want to be a coward anymore. I don't want to run away again. I've done it enough for a lifetime.
"It's not my place to tell them anyway." It must be mine then. I just don't know how to do that. It's not like I could go and knock on their door. First of, they probably moved out of their parents house a long time ago. Second of, I don't want to go and knock on their door. I just want to sign my contract so I won't be able to run away anymore. As absurd as it sounds, I need it to stay.
"And Kahlan, he'll be happy to see you again."
I can't believe I did it. I took a job that's going to drag me closer to the ones I ran away from three years ago. I don't know how I feel about it anymore. I'm scared to see them again but at the same time, I'm happy to have them back in my life. I missed them. I didn't allow myself to think of them too much but I did miss them. I don't know if I believe in fate but I start to think that it's what brought me here. Luke could have worked in any hospitals of the United States, yet he decided to take a job in Baltimore. He knew it'd be hard to convince me to come back here but he took the chance anyway. Maybe his golden opportunity was just meant to get me here and back into my best friends' life. That's a self-centered theory but I don't any rational explanation to what's happening now.
"If I make it, it'll only be because of you." Fifteen years old Zack whimpered as fifteen yeas old Kahlan dragged him up the stairs of a dirty building. He wouldn't mind the dirt so much if they were there to have an adventurous make-out session but she was only taking him to an audition that her friends were holding.
"If you make it, it'll be because of your skills." Kahlan assured him with a smile and a squeeze of his hand. Her best friends held the audition but she wasn't even going to give her opinion. If her boyfriend made it into their band, it wouldn't be because of her. Truth was that she had no words in the guys' final decision.
"Kahlan, I couldn't play bass to save my life." Zack declared with a suspicious glance at the broken doors. The place didn't look very safe to him and he didn't like the fact that his girlfriend was spending most of her afternoons there. He didn't even find reassurance in the fact that she hung out with three guys.
"Are you kidding me? You're awesome." Kahlan exclaimed and stopped in the middle of the staircase. She couldn't believe just how insecure her boyfriend could be. She wished he could believe in his talent as much as she did. She had been listening to many bass players over the last few days and Zack was by far the best.
"And you only say that because you love me." Zack affirmed, wrapping his arms around her tiny body to bring her closer to him. He loved how they fitted perfectly together. It was like they were meant to be. He knew the chances to find your other half in kindergarten were slim but sometimes, he believed that she was the one.
"Do I? I must have lost the memo." Kahlan said with a smile and quickly kissed his pouting lips. She made it to resume their walking but he took her hand and spun her around to crash their lips together again. She tried to push him away for about a second before running her fingers through his hair to pull him closer. Maybe he'd have his dirty make-out session after all.
"Found her!" Jack screamed to Alex who was standing right next to him and got a snap on the back of his head for that. The young couple jumped apart with a similar blush flashing on their cheeks. It wasn't how Kahlan wanted her long-term boyfriend to meet her relatively new friends.
"Zack, meet Jack and Alex."
I shake my head with the faint hope to shake the memory away but I know it's not going to work. I've tried it before but I can't seem to get rid of these flashbacks. I walked next to a park the other and instantly remembered the first time I met Zack. I was only five years old but I remember every little detail of that day. There are some moments in life that you can't forget, no matter how hard you try. But I have to let go now. I have to put the past at rest and concentrate on the future.
"Honey, I'm home." And here's my future. Luke is the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. He's the one I'm going to wake up next every morning and he's the one I'm going to go to bed with every night. He's the reason why I have to move on properly. He doesn't deserve to own only half of my heart; he deserves to have all of it. I'm going to be worthy of him, just wait and see.