A:N/ I guess i've not written anything in a while, so here I am - with a rather bizzare oneshot. I don't think i'm overlly happy with this but it's passed away my time soo...

Anyway! without any further ado, the song in this is by Pink, it's owned by her not me - it's called 'So what' and really, you know the score by now. I don't own the Boosh, never have done and never will sadly. One last thanks to Steph! :D

Try and enjoy :P

I guess I just lost my husband
I don't know where he went.
So I'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent.
I got a brand new attitude
And I'm gonna wear it tonight.
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight.

Vases flew across the living quarters of the 6 roomed flat. Insults followed the killer vases, as Vince Noir ducked behind the black and white patterned sofa. Tears streaked his face, as his mascara ran down his face leaving black marks all over, where he'd wiped at them in anger. His balled up fists shook with rage and his knuckles turned white under the pressure.

"Stop hiding behind the sofa! You've given me all this shit before and now! Now, that I'm here giving back what you deserve, you're being a coward and hiding! I wish I never married you, I didn't think it would get the bad." Howard screeched, giving up on the vase abuse He marched up to the sofa, and began to crouch down only to be startled when Vince jumped up from behind his eyebrows knitted together and his upper lip curled up in rage.

"Howard!" He screamed, his voice breaking through the tears erupting from his lower lids, he said no more and collapsed to the floor shaking; his head buried in his hands.

"I knew it! I just knew it, you're not sorry, well Vince guess what? I'm not sorry anymore, I'm not gonna be around any more to be your punch bag. I loved you, but now… I just don't know anymore, you give shit and expect me to take it in my stride when really, it hurts. When we swopped our vows, you said that you'd love me for ever and that how- " Howard yelled, broke off by Vince who continued the recital.

"- You're the most special thing to my heart." Vince cried, looking up.

"You lied, and now I'm leaving. I can't do with this anymore – I really can't."

-x-

Vince scowled at his wedding photo, he'd already took a sharpie marker and scribbled Howard's head out over the glass, and written obscenities around the photo of himself such as 'cunt' 'prick' and 'stupid twat' but it didn't feel like enough, he smiled and opened the window he looked one last time at the, now vandalised photo and threw it to the ground, watching it shatter to a million pieces. Like his heart. He laughed, and waltzed off into the bathroom grabbing the gel and various other styling products and yanked angrily at the layers, jamming them upwards and fluffing the under layers. He smiled at the outcome, a lazy, messy mess – how he liked his hair. He grabbed his eyeliner and drew a neat line over both bottom and top lids, only stopping for a moment to childishly draw a moustache on the mirror where his top lip reflected. He grabbed his deodorant off the side, lynx because he loved to smell like stupid teenagers. He sprayed under both arms and around his body before walking to his wardrobe. He opened the pine doors and gazed in at the various clothes hanging from the bowing pole. He sighed, and closed the doors, walking off into the kitchen and grabbing a can of black spray paint he walked back into his room, re-opened his wardrobe, shook the can and sprayed all his clothes with the aerosol.

"Vince, what're you doing?" Naboo lisped from the door, as he watched his friend destroy all the clothes his possessed. Vince didn't reply he just giggled, threw the can outta the window to follow the photograph and skipped out the room, down the stairs and out into the street. In his pyjamas. He rounded the corner, pulling silly faces at other passers by and skipping over every single crack in the pavement.

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done

Vince spun around on a blue chair, in a small blue office and a rather large man in a blue suit smiled down on him as he spun around.

"Listen Vince, I'd like you give you a slot but ever since you flew the cuckoo-nest I don't want you to do anymore gigs, I'm loosing out on that paper stuff I get for things."

"Money?" Vince trilled, as he spun faster and aster on the chair.

"Yeah. Money, I've been loosing out on it so you can't sing here anymore." Fossil shouted, grabbing files from his filing cabinet and eating them.

"But, I'm Vince Noir! Rock and Roll star, you can't get rid of me!" Vince screamed, as he dropped off the spinning seat and stood upright looming towards the other man.

"I don't care! You don't gots the slot, now scram!" Fossil bellowed, Vince growled and walked back home.

-x-

Vince cried in excitement as he sprayed a passing group of teenagers with a hosepipe from his bedroom window, laughing as they ran off dripping wet and swearing. He turned the hose off and placed it in the crook of his arm, pulling his goggles and snorkel down with his other hand. He took hold of the hosepipe again, and pressed the handle down letting the water jet out and hit a man standing directly below at the door, the water cascaded downwards and splashed all over their brown hair, soaking their suit through. They looked up, and Vince fell back, dropping the hose and letting it zoom around the room, knocking various things off shelves and soaking anything that got in its way.

Howard was at the door.

Vince cried out and ran for the bathroom, still ignoring the hose causing so much destruction, he grabbed his pyjama's and pulled them over his dolphin swim shorts, he ran a comb through his hair and admired himself in the mirror, he didn't care that he was back, he wanted nothing more for him to leave in fact he wanted to show that he didn't care about his looks – he wanted to show that he didn't care about anything so to do this he grabbed a pair of scissors that where glistening at him from the corner of his vision. He grabbed them, and pulled at pieces of his hair snapping the scissors through the black locks, and allowing the various clumps to fall to the floor – leaving his hair looking as though he'd been savaged with a lawnmower. He didn't care about his hair, he didn't care about his clothes. He didn't care about himself and he certainly didn't care about Howard.

"Vince!" Naboo shouted, from the other room. Vince nodded at the mirror and walked out, again ignoring the hose pipe and walking into the room, there to address his former husband.

"What?" Vince snapped strutting into the room.

"What've you done to your hair?" Naboo and Howard both gasped.

"I gave my self a little trim. What do you want Howard – isn't it clear that we're not meant to be for each other?"

"It's not that Vince, it's just that Naboo rang me telling me that you've lost your mind."

"I haven't lost my mind, why would I lose my mind?!"

"Vince…"

"Shut it Naboo. Howard, you made it clear that you didn't need me."

"Yes, but you clearly need me." Howard replied.

"No I don't!" Vince screamed falling to his knees, burying his head in his hands. Howard shivered at the sight; he crouched down and rubbed his hand down Vince's back.

"It's been hard, and you've obviously not coped but I'm back now – and I don't plan on leaving. You need help, and I'm here to give it."

"I don't need help." Vince whispered, shaking.

"Even at the worst times you can still be stubborn can't you little man?" Howard chuckled, as he helped him up, smiling as he did so. "Man, you really did a number on your hair there didn't you?" Howard smiled sadly as he ran his hands through his now short locks. Vince sighed and looked in the mirror; he opened his mouth to speak but closed it abruptly as Naboo screamed from the bedroom.

"Shit." Vince giggled, as he went to Naboo in the now flooded bedroom.

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine