Worse Than His Bite

Doctor McCoy and Scotty are kidnapped while on a diplomatic mission. Kirk will use all of the ship's resources, no matter how unorthodox, to get them back.

Standard Disclaimers: Star Trek is the property of Paramount Pictures, Bad Robot, a whole bunch of other people who aren't me, and the moral property of Gene Roddenberry, the Great Bird himself. No money exchanged hands, more's the pity.

Scotty: I tested it out on Admiral Archer's prized beagle.

Kirk: Wait, I know that dog. What happened to it?

Scotty: I'll tell you when it reappears... Ahem. I don't know, I do feel guilty about that

Star Trek (2009)

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Chaper 1 - Here Boy

"So, Mister Scott, what do you have for us today?" said Kirk as he stepped into the cargo transporter room. Doctor McCoy followed a few steps behind.

"I think I have finally solved my problem. Using the formula's that Mr. Spock's counterpart gave me, I can finally make something right that went wrong. Scotty grinned manically, and he activated the transporter.

Scotty's hands danced over the transporter controls. A small shape started to form on one of the pads. "Come on, come on," whispered Scotty to himself.

The shape resolved itself. It was a medium sized canine, white and brown and black. It stood there in confusion for a moment. It then opened its mouth and let out with a mournful howl.

"Scotty, is that?" asked Kirk, amazed.

"Aye," said Scotty with satisfaction. "Tis the admiral's dog. I finally got him back. The beagle has landed." The other men winced slightly at the bad joke.

The howling continued. Kirk looked at the dog sternly. "Be quiet." The dog ignored him.

McCoy got down to one knee. "Here boy, here boy," he said softly. The dog stopped howling and looked at the doctor quizzically. McCoy snapped his fingers, and the dog took a few steps forward, its nails clicking on the smooth floor. It stopped and started howling again.

Kirk looked on in amusement. "You are sure that is Admiral Archer's dog, right? You didn't just steal some kid's pet, did you?"

Scotty looked offended. "Of course not!" I'm quite sure that is the right dog."

McCoy looked up at the two men. "Do either of you know the dog's name?"

Kirk thought for a moment. "It was something literary. Porthos? Athos?"

McCoy took a guess. "Here d'Artagnan." The dog stopped howling and looked at him again. "That's a good boy. Come on, heel."

The dog trotted up to him and sniffed the doctor's proffered hand. It's tail started to wag, and then it launched itself at McCoy, licking his face with enthusiasm. "Charming, dog slobber," said McCoy, but his complaint lacked any real heat. He turned the dog's collar around so he could read the tag.

Well, it says, 'My name is d'Artagnan. If found, please contact Jonathan Archer'. There's a com code on the back."

Scotty looked smug. "I told ye so."

Kirk turned to leave the room. "I'll have Uhura notify Admiral Archer that we've found his dog. Until we can arrange to ship him back to Earth, someone will have to take care of him. See to it, gentlemen."

Scotty and McCoy looked at each other. McCoy tried to hand the dog off to Scotty. The dog got one sniff of Scotty and growled.

"It seems the little fellow holds a grudge, Mister Scott."

"Aye, so it seems. Well, I guess since he's taken a fancy to you, doctor," said the engineer as he moved towards the door.

Too late, McCoy realized his mistake. "You get back here! I run a sick bay, not a boarding kennel, damn it!" he yelled at retreating man's back. Scott left the room, leaving the doctor holding the wiggling dog. McCoy sighed in resignation. He put the dog back on the floor.

"Well, come'on, d"Artagnan. Let's see If I can get the food replicators to cough up some hush puppies." D'Artagnan woofed in agreement.