"PARROTS"
By: Otaku Tess
Here's a Time Line, to make things a little easier for me to write, and for you, humble reader, to keep things straight:
When Otacon is born his Mom is 28 and his pop is 24.
When Otacon's Mom dies at the age of 31, Otacon is 3 and his pop is 27.
When Emma is born her mother, Julie, is 20. Otacon is 12 and his pop is 36.
Otacon meets Emma at the time that their parents start dating. Otacon is 16 at this time (And starting college at MIT On-line! Weee... On line college... neeeaaaat... -pshh- I wish.), his Pop is 40, Julie is 24, and Emma is 4.
A year later Otacon's pop and Julie get hitched. Otacon is 17, his pop is 41, Julie is 25, and Emma is 5.
After about a year of a seemingly happy marriage things go down hill... And a barely legal Otacon is seduced by a vile temptress.... Err.... Blee. *ahem*
Shortly after Emma's 7th birthday he leaves home, guilt stricken, sobbing, with his head on the floor. *ahem*
He then attends Princeton and earns his Ph.D.... many times over as far as I can tell because he already was revered as a genius... And he accomplished many fantastical feats of science while attending Princeton, graduated, and went on to do lots of cool scientific stuff.
He started working with ArmsTECH on the Metal Gear at about 30, and was 32 when he met Snake! ^___^ Phew....
Birthdays:
Otacon: February - Pisces
Emma: June - Cancer
Julie: April - Aries/Taurus
Otacon's Pop: August 6 - Leo (I wanted him to be a Libra, but they already said his birthday)
Chapter One
I stood in the doorway of the little den in my cabin. Otacon and I had been hiding out there. Though the Son's of Liberty incident at the Plant had been taken care of (only a few days ago, actually), there was still a price on our heads. It was safe out here. No-one would find us ... and it was best to lie low, at least until something came up.
Otacon was sitting curled up in a rocking chair by the fireplace. The parrot sat quietly above the door frame I was standing under, it was perched on a trophy deer's antlers opposite of the fireplace. Otacon hadn't moved since we'd gotten back. He occasionally got up to feed the fire and other bare necessities, but most of the time he sat there in that rocking chair staring into the fire. I'd left him alone for the passed two days, but at this point he was beginning to worry me. Particularly since he had seemed fine up until we had both gotten back, he'd maintained a very professional demeanor after the loss of his sister, at least until we got back to the cabin ... then he just fell apart. I couldn't explain it.
He has never acted like this before. I know he's mourning ... but he can't just sit there like that, in a daze. -- I needed his help. We still had work to do. There was so much left unanswered about the Son's Of Liberty incident and the Patriots, not to mention our prime objective: the eradication of Metal Gears...
I crept up quietly behind him, not with the intention of being sneaky, but more by habit. I sat down in the cushioned chair beside Otacon. He didn't move. He only stared into the fire place. I looked him up and down. He was wearing old sweat pants and an oversized T-shirt. His legs were folded up against his body and his chin was rested on his knees. The only movement was the reflection of the fire dancing around in his glasses.
"..." I ventured. He didn't notice me. Should I even bother him...? I let out a heavy sigh, watching him all the while. Nothing. "... Otacon?"
Nothing.
"Otacon, you can't just sit here like this." I said sympathetically.
He shifted slightly. The previously inert rocking chair creaked then became stationary once more. I had his attention now. Good.
Great. Now what do I say to him? I don't normally attempt to be tactful, but this was a delicate situation. I had never seen Otacon act like this before. He was always such an optimist and it was disturbing, almost frightening, to see him this distraught.
"Otacon..." I began, "We have to get back to work." So much for tact.
"I'm sorry." A small voice from the rocking chair piped up after a moment. Otacon still hadn't moved, but he'd at least spoken.
"What for?" I asked after a pause.
"I've probably worried you." He said blankly. "I didn't mean to."
"..."
"I mean ... I know you know I don't mean to..." He paused, "... I wish ... I was stronger."
There was a long pause. "You're not weak." I responded.
"Maybe not." He agreed softly.
"Hal..." The parrot cooed suddenly.
This caused him to jerk in his chair and clasp his hands in front of his face, "But I'm a coward!" He wailed, "You don't want to see me like this..." He sobbed, I waited for him to calm down, but he just kept sniffling. Remember. Tact.
"Otacon!" I blurted, standing up, and sitting him up straight, a little more roughly than I had intended. But he got the idea and looked up at me, "Will you get ahold of yourself!" So much for Tact. I sighed. He peered up at me over his glasses, his eyes were red and puffy now. He raised his hand to push his glasses back up his nose.
"I try to move on, Snake." He answered solemnly. "But since it happened I can't seem to--"
"Venus in Cancer." The parrot squawked. It didn't seem to like not being a part of the conversation.
Otacon let out another sob and attempted to wave me out. "Dammit, Otacon!" I said harshly, "You can't just lose it like that every time the damn parrot makes a noise! You have to control yourself."
"Maybe you could, Snake. But I can't. I'm not strong like you -- but it's certainly nice to know you'd get over it quickly if I was killed instead of --" He stopped short emitting a choked whimper, he then flopped his head back on his knees letting out a series of pained sobs.
He was being hysterical.
"Otacon, you know you don't mean that. Please get ahold of yourself. I am trying to help." I said softly, but sternly.
He sat quietly in the chair again, motionless.
A long moment passed where neither of us said anything. The only sound was the fire crackling and the parrot occasionally fluttering around on its perch.
I watched Otacon as he looked blankly at the hearth, he still had his knees tucked under his chin. I sat back down. My mind wandered from one thing to another as I kept my eyes on him.
Mmm... He always wore clothing that didn't fit him properly, in some way or another. Something really big or baggy. -- He was actually a very thin guy. When I'd first met him he was actually quite a fragile person, physically and mentally. He'd toughened up a bit since we'd met, but he was by no means a fighter, and never would be. He couldn't even hold a gun, really.
Mentally... I know he's stronger then when I met him, but right now he was falling apart. I could at least understand why, but he hadn't gotten this worked up when Sniper Wolf died. Granted this situation is somewhat different. I didn't know quite what he thought about the subject, though.
Sometimes I worry that I'm a bad influence on him. It sounds a little cliche, but I do. Since Shadow Moses he's really gotten more involved with this whole war we're fighting.
He's technically the "brains" of Philanthropy, but already he's seen more than a person like him probably should have. Though, I can't feel too bad, this was his decision too.
I'd told him all about my past and what I'd seen -- how war had affected me and those around me, and he still insisted that this was something he had to do. He never really told me why though. I mean, I always had my ideas -- what with his family's history ... but he never really explained it all to me.
Come to think of it. He'd never really told me anything -- I knew very little about Otacon's past. What I'd found out when his sister died was more than he had ever told to me. I hadn't known...
"Otacon." I piped up again.
"Mm...?" He murmured.
"How come you never told me about your past? -- Your child hood. I told you all about my life. How come you never told me anything about you." I stated more than questioned.
"You never asked?" He said lamely, looking over to me, somewhat sheepishly.
"Otacon." I persisted.
He sighed, giving in, "I guess I felt it was boring. I mean, you wouldn't really want to hear about my child hood ... would you?"
"But your sister and your step mother." I stated bluntly.
He whimpered. "Snake, I could barely acknowledge that to myself." He swallowed. "Do you want to hear it?" He asked meekly, peering at me over the top of his glasses again.
I nodded.
"Time for a treat." The parrot whistled.
Otacon sniffled, but kept control of himself, "Where do I start?"
"At the beginning." I offered.
Chapter Two
"The beginning..." He sighed, "Well. Lets see." He settled down in the chair, finally setting his feet down on the floor. I watched him relax a little. He wanted to tell me, he was just waiting for the right opportunity. "Uhm... My mother and father worked together. Er... that's how they met. They were both engineers. They built air planes. -- I don't know a lot about their relationship, because my mother died when I was only 3 ... I don't remember her very well. My father only talked about her when I asked him, though -- I don't even really know how she died. The only thing divulged to me was 'Work accident'. -- I think it hurt him a lot to talk, or even, think of her. He loved her a lot, I know that. Er -- He told me once that if he hadn't have had the responsibility to take care of me ... he would have completely fallen apart. -- He was ... not a strong man."
"Hm..." I nodded.
He paused, then continued, "He dedicated a lot of his time to work. Some of my earliest memories, that don't include my mother, are of the old lady next door baby-sitting me because my father had to work late. I started school as early as possible just so I would have some place to go during the day."
"Oh, is that why your so smart?" I asked suddenly.
He chuckled in spite of himself, "No... But I'm afraid I'll get to that..." He sighed, "No, school is no more than day care until the first grade, anyway." He paused again to look over at me, adjusting his glasses, "I hope I'm not boring you."
I shook my head.
"Elementary school for me was ... well, erm. My only friend was -- this hefty blond kid named Knut, who stuck pennies up his nose." He chuckled again, "But I started home schooling in the fifth grade, anyway." He became solemn again, "Er... I -- I was teased a lot in school. The only thing I could really do to keep my mind off of the abuse was ... my school work."
"Why did you stay there for so long?" I asked suddenly.
"Well... I told my dad about it many times. He called the school a few times, but didn't really try to do anything. He didn't really know how bad it was for me there. -- I never really told him. I mean, he wasn't the sort of father that would get mad if you didn't fight back, but I just never wanted to bother him. He was busy enough as it was. I didn't want to ruin the time we did have together by complaining."
"What happened, though?" I asked curiously, "Why were you teased?"
He sighed, answering with surprising bitterness. "You've got to have someone to pick on. Why not the gangly kid who won't fight back?"
"..."
"--I'm sorry. I sound bitter. I'm not. -- Bitter, I mean." He gulped. "At first they'd call me names. 'Four-Eyes.' 'Stick-boy.' Unimaginative things like that. I was able to ignore it. Stick to my work. I never even complained to my dad until the fourth grade--
"Unfortunately, that was the year things started to go down hill, the fourth grade. People would throw things at me in class and snicker about it -- the teacher never saw who did it either. Things would get stolen from my back pack. And I had gotten so badly bruised during dodgeball games that I started lying to my teacher about some illness or something so I wouldn't have to participate in PE." He sighed, "Fortunately, I think she understood, because she gave me an -A regardless." He smiled slightly.
"It seems that as the kids got older the bullies got meaner. -- I got beat up a few times. I started eating lunch with the teachers and having my dad walk me into class every morning. -- It was an inconvenience for my father, but he did it anyway ... not that it won me any popularity contests. Just another reason to throw Hal in a dumpster the next chance you got."
I paused, "They probably regret it now..."
"I hope so..." He sighed, "But, the summer before fifth grade my dad enrolled me in STAR."
"STAR?"
"School Transmitting and Receiving. It was kind of an underground thing for smart rich kids." He chuckled self consciously, taking a moment to fix his glasses, "You do all your school work over the Internet." He paused, giving me a slight smile, "It was around that time that I got into Japanese Animation."
I chuckled.
"Hey, Snake." He said, with half-mocking defensiveness. He knew I didn't mean anything by laughing. -- He'd shown me some of his "Animes" before. I didn't really get them. All of the characters looked the same, and the acting sounded like something a card board box could have done better. -- Of course he went on about how "The sub titled version of this series was much better and we could watch that one instead." But I told him I'd had enough Anime for a while.
"Sorry." I smiled slightly, "Go on."
"Well, by the time I should have been in the 6th grade my dad decided to give STAR a rest and send be back to 'Proper School'. The woman next door who had watched me while I stayed home had died, and my dad didn't want to have to look for a new sitter ... so I went back to school. Junior High... 7th grade." He continued, "I had a record breaking two friends that year. I can't remember the guy's name -- but the girl was named Angelena Nightingale ... and she was an Anime fan too." He smiled happily, in remembrance. It made me wonder what exactly was so special about her...
"She was the person that introduced me to 'Anime-cons', actually... We went to one together during the summer after the 7th grade, but we seldom saw each other out side of school -- other than that ... but, er -- I did meet up with her again in college -- oh, but -- I'm getting ahead of myself.
"Obviously Angelena left a bigger impression on me than, uhh... -- Clinton, I think his name was -- I think he might have only been my friend so he could copy my science homework but I was never all together sure. He might have just been afraid to admit he actually enjoyed my company. I didn't really mind it, I guess I understood. It's not easy being a closet Anime fan." He let out a small laugh.
"Uhm ... Clinton was pretty popular, so he kept people from bothering me a lot of the time, but I was still picked on ... in classes we didn't have together I was an abuse magnet. -- I was way ahead of everyone there, and was in all sorts of advanced classes ... I was also very quiet. I had grown so unaccustomed to regular schooling." He sighed, "And I rode my bike to and from school now, so my father couldn't really protect me. -- Hmm.... My bike got stolen about 5 times.
"Fortunately things were bearable, though. Angelena was my friend ... and she helped me deal with being teased. She'd been teased during Elementary School as well ... she was often targeted as 'the New Kid' because her parents moved so much. It upset me when I found out. -- She didn't really deserve that."
"And you did?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Well, no -- that's not what I meant. -- No one deserves that. It was just sad. She was so happy most of the time. I -- ah, uh --" He paused, blushing.
"What?" I asked curiously.
"I, ah, got my ... first kiss from her." If he had blushed any worse he would have gotten a heat rash ... however, he felt compelled to explain, "It was in the 7th grade. My bike had gotten stolen again. It was a short bike ride home, but a rather long walk and, er... it was raining. I didn't have an umbrella or anything, but Angelena offered to walk me home." He smiled, as the blush faded from his face, "I don't remember a word we said to each other, but it was one of the best conversations I'd had with anybody up until that point and would remain so for a long time after that. She was one of the few people on my level, it was a miracle to have someone to relate to." He sighed happily, "When we got up to my door I invited her in. She declined -- said she had to get home -- thanked me for walking with her, and gave me a quick kiss, right on the lips." He blushed inwardly this time, "I was too shocked to do or say anything intelligent for the next hour, so she got away without me asking her what had prompted it. -- The funniest thing was we never talked about it again the whole rest of the 7th grade. We went on just the way we had until school was out.
"But -- At the end summer Angelena was moving again and I was resuming schooling with STAR, my dad felt I was old enough to be home alone, now that I was a teenager.. We promised each other we'd write, but we never really did. Personally, I wrote about 100 letters and was never happy enough with them to send them.
"I was starting over once again ... Of many, many times..." He added sadly, after a pause. He stopped to look back to the fire. "It's going out." He stated, getting up to put more wood on it.
The parrot cooed softly from its perch. It was asleep. Good. I rolled my eyes at it, as I stood up. I'd leave him alone for a little bit.
Chapter Three
When I reentered the dim room about fifteen minutes later Otacon was back in the rocking chair. He appeared more relaxed this time. Probably because that damn parrot was still asleep. I sighed. -- I didn't really have anything against the parrot, except that Otacon insisted on keeping it even though it was beginning to drive him crazy.
"Thanks for giving me a breather." He sighed, as I sat back down.
"No problem. I don't want you to get too overwhelmed."
"Thanks." He continued gazing at the fire for about another minute, then looked over to me questioningly, "Where was I?"
"Home Schooling." I answered shortly.
"Oh yeah. I'd just told you about Elementary and Junior High. It's a little silly thinking back on it now. -- It was so long ago. -- But after that." He paused, "That was when my dad decided to start dating again... He was --" He paused doing the math in his head, "37, I think ... -- At first I was upset, he hardly had enough time for me as it was. Though I couldn't really blame him ..." His expression became dark, "He was lonely. He needed someone in his life. -- I could understand that. Unfortunately for him, his search didn't go very well. His only day off was Sunday and he worked from 6:00 am to 5:30 PM most days -- If he wasn't working over time. He had an intense job ... I can understand his dedication. -- If you've ever flown in a plane your life was in his capable, but extremely stressed, hands. Eh, ah, -- he went prematurely gray..." Otacon added, running his fingers through his own hair, nervously.
I chuckled.
"I guess it runs in the family..." He said, glancing away and blushing slightly.
Poor guy, I embarrassed him. "Sorry."
"It's okay." He laughed, "Err -- Where was I?"
"Your father dating." I prompted. He's one of the brightest minds in the world, but he has such trouble keeping a train of thought sometimes.
"Ohh..." He sighed, letting his body collapse in defeat.
"If you don't want to --"
"No." He stopped me, "Err ... for the most part my father would go to clubs and things on Sunday evenings -- things like that. He had a date once or twice, but he never really found anyone who could deal with his schedule.
"Uhm, and ... er, Oh! It was nice to be back home schooling... I mean, I could work at my own pace and all... But the setting was very unsocial. I didn't really have anyone to talk to..."
I sighed inspite of myself.
"It's okay, Snake." He assured me, "It kept me focused on my school work, at least. Uhh... But I didn't have any friends.
"I'm sorry, though. I must sound like I'm -- bitter." He spat out the word as though it were the sole cause of the world's suffering, "My days may have been a little miserable at times, but I did manage. I tried to not let it bother me. My only friend was my Japanese Anime ... but I guess I got strength from that, in a way. It helped me cope ... --" He stopped suddenly, "Snake! --I'm not telling you this story to complained -- Trust me, I'm not." He sounded a little panicked.
"I know." I answered. "Unhappy" and "Otacon" did not go well together. When he realized he was unhappy it made him even worse. A sad vicious cycle. I felt sorry for him.
There was a long pause. Otacon massaged his temples for a few moments, deep in thought. "..."
"...?" I glanced over at him.
"But I guess, when it comes down to it, I -- ah, I ... was ... lonely." He struggled through the sentence, trying to figure out what to say now, "I was virtually friendless for some time... I was finishing up my STAR schooling. I was 16 when I graduated STAR's 7th through 12th grade. I planned to move on to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's On-line Schooling, to get a Masters Degree. But, it was the summer before I started, that I my dad found a steady girlfriend."
I perked up.
"That was when I met Emma."
Chapter Four
"My father had gotten a secretary. A tall blond woman. She was 24 when she got the job and she had a 4 year old daughter -- she had lived with her mother in England until she decided to leave Emma's father and come to America. Er... She had been a young mother. She had Emma when she was only 20 years old -- though a unique twist on her story was that she left Emma's father. He never left her." He frowned.
"Hm." I nodded.
"At any rate ... My farther and Julie started going out almost immediately."
"Julie?"
"Th-that was her name, remember..." Otacon said nervously, "Uhm ... err -- They would go to their work's 'Holiday Party', maybe go to a movie with friends, or go out to dinner alone."
"--How old was your father?"
"He was ... mm -- I think, 40 at the time."
"A little young for him." I commented dryly.
"Hm." Otacon snorted, sitting back in his chair, the fire flashed reflecting on his glasses, obscuring his eyes. "My father didn't care. -- You know, sometimes I think the Emmerichs would never fall in love if we had never heard it talked about..."
"..." There was a moment of awkward silence.
Finally, Otacon sighed sadly then continued, "My father was taken with this woman as soon as he met her. She was young and beautiful and really seemed to like him. And he was lonely.
"... Always lonely..." He added, I couldn't tell if he was talking about his father or himself, "But, then, ah, I met Emma. -- My dad and Julie had me 'Kid-sit' Emma when they would go out. She was only 4 years old, but we became best friends almost immediately.
"True, I only watched her when my dad and Julie went on a date, which was maybe an average of two or three times a month ... but... I looked forward to it with every inch of my being. So, ah, my dad went out with her casually for about a year. I didn't know Julie very well -- er, ah ... and so, neither Emma nor I were prepared when they announced they would be getting married." He looked over at me, almost melancholy, if it hadn't have been for the small smile that crept across his features. "I was pretty excited, actually. I would finally have a real family. One with a father and a mother and a little sister." His tone changed slowly, "It was ... supposed to be ... perfect...."
I let out a heavy sigh. In my experiences as soon as someone expects perfection ... things are not only less than so, they get infinitely worse. This would end adding another story to my library, of course.
"And... I almost believed it was -- for a while. Emma and I, we were kindred spirits. We did everything we possibly could together." I could sense a tension in his voice, he was getting choked up already, "We, ah -- we would play house together, a lot. That was her idea. I was the husband and she was the wife. -- I did it for her. To see her smile. But..." He paused thoughtfully, "I enjoyed it too. I mean, a part of me really enjoyed the game on the same level that Emma did. It was a departure from the way life had been up until that point. Neither of us had ever had a real family like that. My father hardly had any time for me, and her mother -- Well, let me just say Emma was raised primarily by her Grandmother up until her Mom left England.
"Er -- We played house a lot during that year that I would baby-sit her. But. After the wedding Emma and I didn't really play house the way we had when I had baby-sat her. I mean, we still did, but-- I think I was a covert operative at one point. The game got a little silly after a while. " He chuckled slightly.
"Why's that?" I asked.
"Well. The game was a fantasy. As long as we had the reality we were content to do other things. We swam a lot." He paused, contemplating whether or not to go on, "Emma ... loved the water. When I would baby-sit her she would always ask if she could go swimming. Even if it was freezing out." He smiled sadly.
"Uhm... Oh, she got interested in my Anime immediately. She thought I was the 'coolest person on the planet' because I was 17 and still watched cartoons. I never really comprehended how much she looked up to me, though..." He let out a heavy sigh, "She would always ask me what I was going to do when I grew up or what my hobbies were. I remember, at one point I was thinking about being an astronomer... -- She got it mixed up with Astrologer. That was a hobby she picked up on accident." He chuckled, then looked up at the parrot sleeping peacefully on its perch, becoming solemn again, "She got me interested in it too, for a little while ... though I can't really remember anything about it. -- But, she was a fan...
"But, ah ... for the first time in a long time things were beginning to look good. The sun had finally come out from behind the cloud. I was acing every subject in my MIT courses -- well, except English, but, what can I say? We all have weak subjects, right? Besides, it wasn't a big deal, it wasn't the Massachusetts Institute of English, after all..."
I snorted. No kidding. He couldn't explicate a proverb to save his life. I didn't want to think about what his book reports must have looked like.
"My hard work in STAR had paid off. Emma and I saw each other everyday, we got to spend the whole day together. And that summer my dad even took little vacations so he could be with us -- He and Emma ... they went swimming a lot. I wasn't a big swimmer, but Emma usually got me in the pool one way or another. We had a lot of fun, in the end." He chuckled in spite of himself.
"And what about your parents?" I asked.
"Oh. Yeah." He said distastefully, before continuing, "They weren't around a lot. I was responsible for Emma until they got home. For my dad it was late. For Julie it was whenever she wanted."
"Didn't she work with your father?"
"Oh, yeah. After they got married she quit her job. My father could support her now... There was really no need for her to have a real job. Though I believe she had a part time job as a telemarketer or something like that. More to keep her busy than to pay the bills."
"Ah." I nodded.
"I guess, I didn't know a lot about my dad's relationship with Julie. I hardly ever saw them together. My father loved Julie, I know. But his work came first. Always. But, sometimes, when I'd see him come home after work and see Julie there, it was ... heart warming, really." He sighed, "I just never understood how he could love her so much and not be there for her..."
"Hm?"
"But..." He looked up at me with a pained expression, "I wish you understood how things were. I mean, things weren't perfect, but I don't want you to think I'm complaining. My family, ah -- Emma and I -- My dad and Julie ... err..."
I sighed. I got the feeling that things were probably worse than he wanted to tell me, he just didn't want to sound bitter or cruel. "It's all right, Otacon." I assured him, "I'm sure ... an explanation will come to you."
He nodded slowly, letting out a slight whimper, as he clasp his hands over his face.
"Otacon?"
"I'm fine ... I -- ah, give me a minute."
I obliged, letting him gather his thoughts for a few minutes.
....to be continued.....
Notes: This final is very, very different from my original "Parrots," as the original was from Otacon's POV entirely. Half way through I changed it. It was easier for me to have Otacon talking to someone than to just have him start telling about his past. I'm a lot happier with this tome. Weeee!
Not that the original version of Parrots doesn't have a place in my heart... I was just a little too confused at the time that I wrote it. I needed a fresh start. So, while I hope that all of you that read the original Parrots enjoyed it... I also hope that you find this one just as well and hopefully better. ^-^;;
It should also be noted, that for my purposes I created MIT on-line. Otacon did get his Ph.D. from MIT, but I decided to make it like STAR... I mean, they'd let you do a lot of things ... if you had enough money, right? Heehee, err... And besides, if you went to Princeton afterwards like he did, then it wouldn't matter much, where he got his education in the long run, would it?
12-15-01 : Well, that was decidedly unpleasant. I had to go through and fix all the ages. Stupid me changed the ages for her own stupid ends when she wrote the original Parrots... And when she sat down to rewrite it she forgot about the ages that were given in the game. Well, Blah. Don't I feel foolish. Siiigh.
Just 2 more Parts to go.... Ahh...