Tsunade sat on the sun-faded wooden bench staring at the bright blue sky. She couldn't take her eyes off the clouds and wonder exactly how she let her life come to this. She loved Jiraiya with all of her heart, but it took all over her might not to ask him if he was still in love with her. Sure, he said it everyday but it all sounded like a simple routine. Her life was monotonous and she couldn't stand it. He never complimented her anymore, and he didn't look at her like he used to, but he could look at other females, and he even slept with a few others. But every time, Tsunade told him that it was alright. She told him that everything would be okay. And for a couple month's after each time it would be fine. Until the cycle would start over.

She often found herself crying silently at night as he lay next to her. His arm draped over her side, she knew he didn't love her, but she didn't want to admit it. She loved him to much to let him go. Every other woman he had slept with had been younger than her, and she began to feel self-conscious. No one looked at her the way they used to, and she really began to feel bad about herself. Kakashi sat down next to her. He was the only male in the entire village that would speak to her when it wasn't required.

"Are you alright?" he asked. She nodded, as if she were afraid that her voice would betray her and show every emotion she had been hiding. "Tsunade, I don't have to be a magician to see through your deception."

A long sigh escaped her now slightly parted lips. "No.. I'm not alright.. And I doubt I will be, but I'll keep up the front I always have."

"Why?" he scooted a little closer to her and stared at her honey brown eyes. His leg brushed up against her's lightly sending a tingling sensation up her thigh. "What's going on?" She adverted her eyes to a crack in the ground and the small pebble that looked as if it were going to fall in the dark abyss and never see the light of day again. That's exactly how she felt at this very moment.

Chill bumps rose on her smooth skin even though there was no chill in the air. She turned her head towards him and his one blue eyes looked at her and by the way that it went from curious to concerned she knew that her own eyes have deceived her. "Kakashi, can I ask you to do me an awful favor?"

He smiled under his mask his eye creased into that signature way that it always has. "Of course Tsunade. I will always do anything you ask me to." He was definitely someone she could count on and what she was about to ask him to do was unmentionable, it was completely out of the question, and it was going to kill her inside again, but she had to do this anyway.

She stood up. "Will you take me to your apartment? I want us to be alone." Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed, confused, but he did anyway. Together they walked in silence and she would look him in the eyes. As he unlocked his door, she grew anxious. He's not going to do this. I'll be embarrassed. I should turn back now, before it's to late. She began to think to herself.

He walked in the door and held it open for her. "You can sit down on the couch if you'd like to." She watched as he closed the door behind her, it was agony waiting for him to finally get it all the way shut. She couldn't take it any longer. It was now or never. Tsunade took a deep breath and closed her eyes before kissing him. She pulled his mask down and pressed her lips to his. Automatically she took in the note of his soft lips and how smooth his skin was. Kakashi's eyes were wide and his hands were in the air. Tsunade hesitated before pulling away.

After she had done so, Kakashi stared at her, his eyes were wide still, and his mouth was open slightly. A blush rose to her cheeks and she racked her brain for any words to say. "Why did you do that?" Kakashi asked quietly, his voice was softer than she had ever heard it before.

"Because I.. I need to figure something out Kakashi. I just... I need to know. I'm sorry." she said quietly as she looked down at the floor. Kakashi took a deep breath, his heart raced as his body took control of his mind. He tilted her chin up and kissed her again before he could think twice about what he was doing. Tsunade pushed her kiss into him, hoping to receive more out of it. Kakashi's mind started race just as badly as her's was racing. But slowly, he lead her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed.

~Later~

Tsunade lay on Kakashi's bed, staring at his cream colored ceiling. She looked over and he was asleep next to her. Guilt washed over her as she remembered what she had done. She needed to get back home before Jiraiya noticed she was gone. She found a journal and a pen inside of Kakashi's bedside table. She turned to a blank page and wrote;

Kakashi,

Thank you for today, it made me open my eyes. I'm sorry if this ruins things between us. But I needed to know that I still love Jiraiya, and I do. I still love him with all of my heart. I'm sorry Kakashi. If we had met sooner I wouldn't have been with Jiraiya. But fate has it that I met you after I fell for him. As rotten as our marriage must seem, I'm happy with him. I hope you find someone that makes you happy too Kakashi.

With Love,

Tsunade

Kakashi woke up to find her gone, he walked through his apartment twice just to see if he had somehow missed her. But as he noticed the open journal on his nightstand he felt a ping of pain in his chest. His heart was breaking. He had just hoped she hadn't read anything in the journal, it was all about her anyway. He read everything that she had written and felt like the world had fallen out from beneath his feet. She hadn't read anything from the journal, she didn't know just how much he loved her, or how much he envied Jiraiya for having her.

Kakashi's heart shattered that moment as Tsunade's finally healed. But Kakashi would never tell a soul.