Cornstarch and Kiddie Pools
"Where's your lab coat?" Cosima asked, slightly alarmed as Delphine walked through Mrs. S's door empty-handed.
"My lab coat? I thought we are watching children." Delphine, sounding confused, peeked carefully around the corner into the living room, checking for these supposed children.
"Were you ever a child? Don't you know what these meetings entail?" Cosima called over her shoulder as she disappeared into the kitchen, returning a moment later with an apron reading Don't mess with Mum. She brandished the apron in Delphine's direction. "Here, put this on. It'll have to do."
"Perhaps I should tell you," Delphine started, unsure. "I have never really spent time with children. I'm not sure it's appropriate for me to be doing this job... I might break them..." She trailed off, silenced by the smile that quirked up at the corners of Cosima's lips.
Cosima opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the front door. Delphine snatched the apron and slipped it on quickly, so as not to be caught improperly dressed. Barreling through the door came Sarah (clearly harried), followed by Kira, Gemma, and 5 other eight-year-olds decked out in brown pleated shorts and sashes.
Cosima rushed forward, bubbling with excitement. She ushered them into the living room, cheering, "The Girl Scouts are here, the Girl Scouts are here!"
Sarah rolled her eyes and leaned against the doorway near Delphine. They watched Cosima entertaining the kids, hands flailing wildly.
"I'm going to shoot Alison the next time I see her," muttered Sarah. In an uncanny imitation of Alison's voice, she mimicked, "They're excellent children, Sarah. It'll be no trouble at all. It's your duty as a mother." Insert world-class eye roll here.
Sarah looked at her watch, and suddenly all business, turned to Delphine. "Okay. Here are the Almighty Pink One's rules: No nuts. No gluten. No running with scissors. No heavy metal music or orgies. Got it?" Delphine nodded mutely, eyes wide. Sarah nodded in return, blew Kira a kiss and was out the door before anyone could saddle her with more suburban duties.
"Okay, Scouts! Time for the fun to begin!" Cosima shouted, earning the attention of the seven munchkins swarming around the room. She joined Delphine by the doorway and shot her a supportive smile (though Delphine was too busy backing herself against the wall and looking like she'd been cornered by a pack of wild dogs to notice).
"I'm Cosima and this is Delphine, and together we are TEAM SCIENCE MEGA FORCE!" Cosima struck a super hero pose and nudged Delphine hard with her elbow until the tall blonde did the same. "Everyone line up. It's time for SCIENCE!"
Cosima got the whole crowd rounded up around the picnic table in Mrs S's backyard. Delphine doled out plastic bowls and spoons (careful to avoid any actual physical contact with the little humans), while Cosima launched into full Bill Nye mode.
"Listen up, mini scientists! Who can tell me what liquid is?"
"Tea!" Kira shouted. Cosima beamed and high-fived her niece.
"And what's a solid?"
A little girl sitting next to Cosima piped up, "Cheese!", earning her high five as well.
"Well, today we're going to make sometime that is both a liquid and a solid. Like quicksand! It's called Non-Newtonian fluid. Say that three times fast!" She laughed as the girls attempt it, and began to pass around cups of water and plastic baggies of cornstarch.
Within ten minutes, the girls had succeeded in creating their mixtures (and in drenching the picnic table and attracting every squirrel in the neighborhood). Cosima was just launching into a vivid description of how cool a big pool of Non-Newtonian fluid would be ("You could run across it just like a sidewalk, but if you stop, you'd sink right to the bottom!"), when a tiny redhead tugged on Delphine's apron.
"Um, Ms. Mega Force?" she asked, timidly, before brandishing a bloody finger. "I cut myself with my spoon."
"Your plastic spoon?" Delphine asked incredulously, with a raised eyebrow. The girl nodded, tears beginning to slide down her cheeks.
Cosima cleared her throat loudly. "Band-aids are in the bathroom cabinet," she sang, nodding towards the house. Delphine, blushing furiously at her childcare faux pas, herded the girl inside.
It took Delphine five minutes, four bandaids, and a first degree burn to successfully cover the small cut. By the time she and her accident prone charge returned to the yard, Cosima had commandeered the neighbor's kiddie pool. She was busy hooking up the garden hose, while her minions empty sacks of corn starch into the pool. Cosima shot Delphine an excited wave, obviously thrilled.
Delphine considered objecting, considered pointing out that this was theft, and that Ms. S was perhaps not a person who would take the destruction of her backyard lightly. But the words died in a pitiful groan at the back of throat as Cosima opened the spigot and the little girls began to cheer.
Delphine settled instead on hovering by the pool, staying well out of splashing distance and attempting to look like a competent adult (since the other competent adult was knee deep in cornstarch and giddy).
The next thirty minutes involved a year's supply of water (half in the kiddie pool, and half on the lawn, which had begun to resemble a swamp), enough cornstarch to sink a small ship, two bloody noses, three scraped knees, and the fraying of every last intact nerve in Delphine's body.
Once everyone had had their fill of dashing across the surface of the pool and sinking down all the way to their shins, Cosima turned the hose back on and rinsed down the seven giddy scouts. They finished just in time for Alison to arrive and sweep the girls off in her minivan with a dirty look at Team Science Mega Force when she saw the soaking wet uniforms.
When everyone was finally gone, Delphine collapsed spread-eagle onto the grass. Cosima, jeans drenched and starchy, walked over and straddled her, sitting lightly on her thighs.
"That was fun," she sighed, absentmindedly threading her fingers through one of Delphine's curls. "I've always planned on having seven kids- like the Glasses or the Weasleys. Seven is about perfect, don't you think?"
Delphine groaned, tossing her arm over her eyes to block her insane partner from view. Cosima laughed hard, pressing a wet sloppy kiss to Delphine's elbow.
"Race you!" Delphine heard, a split second before Cosima's weight lifted off of her thighs. Eyes snapping open, she saw her dreadlocked giggling madwoman dashing towards the kiddie pool. Funny, looks like I already have one child on my hands, she thought as she clambered to her feet and sprinted after Cosima.