A/N: This is set before Grissom and Sara were together. Not actual timeline, and most definitely not how it actually happened, but the idea came and wouldn't leave. As always, please let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: If I owned CSI, Sara would not be leaving. Jorja Fox would be tied to chair at all times except when she was working a scene, and she would NEVER leave. Ever.
-Never Have I Ever-
After what seemed to be a week long shift for the Las Vegas Crime lab's nightshift, the team decided that before going home for a much needed day off and multiple hours of sleep, they would all go out to celebrate the close of the case that had caused such a week.
So now here they all sat - Nick, Warrick, Greg, Catherine, Sara and yes, even Grissom, at a bar not too far from the lab, nursing drinks and complaining about the lack of credit they received from the case. As they night wore on, and the amount of drinks ingested increased, the conversations became a lot more open and revealing. Somehow it ended up with everyone explaining how they lost their virginity.
Warrick reluctantly admitted that because he was such a geek in high school, he didn't lose his until he was 21 in college and that it was to his college girlfriend. The details were pretty simple – a bed, candles, fancy dinner – the usual.
"It wasn't anything major, but it was nice." He explained.
"Well, I for one think that that is very sweet War." Sara complimented raising her beer bottle to him in salute while Nick and Greg snickered.
"Yeah War, sweet." Nick teased.
"Okay cowboy, you're turn." Warrick quipped back.
"Alright, alright. I was seventeen back in Texas and it was after a school football game that we won. Her name was Janine and we had been dating for a few months. Well, after decided that we were in fact going to go through with it, we realized that we couldn't go to her house because of her parents. So we were going to go back to mine, but with four sisters, that was quickly dismissed, so we ended up in the back of my pick-up truck. It was by far the worst sex of my life, but hey, everyone has to start somewhere." Everyone was laughing at his experience and the dopey grin on his face as he explained it. "Alright, Cath – you're turn."
"Ah, okay. I was 16 and he was 24. It was in his apartment. We had been dating for a little while and after a night of lots of making out on his couch we ended up naked in his bedroom. It was good." Pausing, she shuddered in pleasure at the memory. "It was really good."
"24. 16. A bit of a gap there don't you think?" Greg asked, a bit surprised by the age difference.
Sara, looking directly across the table at Grissom, decided to speak up for Catherine, never letting her eyes drop from his.
"Well Greg. Some girl's just like older men." Grissom, mid-sip on his drink, choked on the liquid at her words. He hadn't been expecting that. Catherine gave Sara a knowing smile, holding back her giggles at Gil's expense.
"Okay Greg, how about you?" Catherine asked him, trying to relieve Sara and Grissom of the attention that had shifted to them.
"Ah, well. Here's a story for you." Greg started in his usual animated way – only thinking that Sara was too distracted by Grissom to let him lie. "Well. Her name was Tracey and she was a senior and I was a 15. She wanted me. Practically begged. There were latex and…"
"Greg. You were 22 and she was drunk and you stumbled so much that you didn't even finish." Sara interjected with a broad smile on her face.
"SARA!" Greg screeched, his voice taken on such a high note that Sara was surprised that no one's glass broke.
"What?" She asked in feign innocence, while Catherine choked on her drink in laughter and Warrick and Nick almost fell out of their chairs. Grissom had a smile, but was containing his laughter. He wasn't that drunk yet – but he was finding Sara to be quite amusing tonight.
"I cannot believe you Sara Sidle!" Greg whined.
"Hey it's not my fault that you spilled your guts to me." She answered nonchalantly.
"Okay, well, now that you all know my obvious disdain I need another drink…or three." Greg replied grimly casting Sara with his best death glare that only made her laugh.
"Oh Greggo, cheer up. I'll even buy your drink." Sara beckoned for the waitress and when she arrived everyone ordered another round and when she returned with the drinks, Sara turned to Grissom. "Uh, Grissom, I don't believe we've heard your story yet."
"Uh, no, you haven't. But I don't believe we've heard yours either." He answered back slyly.
"Okay Gil, you go first and then Sara." Catherine instructed, very interested to hear a bit of personal information from the enigmatic entomologist.
"No thanks."
"Grissom! Everyone else has, and Sara is after you. Now suck up your pride and spill!" Catherine yelled at him, making everyone else very glad that they weren't on her bad side.
After a moment of staring each other down, Grissom realized that she wasn't going to drop it. With a sigh, he took a large swig of his drink and spoke. "I was 18, her name was Sandy and she was my high school girlfriend. Okay?" He rushed out, taking another sip after he was through.
"Uh, details Gil, details." Catherine pushed.
"There wasn't much to it. It was right after graduation and we were both leaving for different colleges."
"Aww." Sara gasped at how sweet that sounded. Then realizing that she'd actually 'aww'd' aloud and everyone was smirking at her, she straightened her shoulders and took on the defensive. "What! I just think that that is really nice. They were saying goodbye."
"You're a closet romantic aren't you Sara Sidle." Nick teased her.
"Oh shut up."
"Okay, what about you Sar?" Warrick asked, but before she could answer Greg decided to take revenge on her.
"Wait, let me guess. He was about 15 years older than you. Brainy, mysterious professor. Blue eyes, graying hair…quoted Shakespeare to woo you…" The look Sara sent him did enough to shut him up. If looks could kill, they would never find his body. Grissom seemed now very interested in the ice of his drink. Sara had turned beat red. Warrick and Nick were trying desperately to keep in their amusement, equally afraid of what Sara could do to them. And Catherine, well, Catherine was more interested to see if Greg's theory was true.
"Well Sara?" She encouraged. Slowly Sara's gaze softened as she turned to Catherine.
"I too was 16. I was at a party with some of my foster brothers. After a few drinks they convinced me to play a drinking game with them, 'Never Have I Ever.'"
"Oh, I've played that. I always lose." Catherine chimed in.
"Wait, what is this game?" Grissom asked, truly perplexed, but also very curious as to how this fit in with Sara's story.
"It's a drinking game. Everyone has a shot in front of them and it goes around the table. You have to say 'Never have I ever…' and then say something that you've never done. Then anyone at the table who has done it has to drink their shot."
"No wonder Catherine always loses." Greg chimed, receiving a slap to the back of his head by Warrick and Catherine.
"So how does this relate to your…uh…experience?" Grissom asked.
Blushing slightly, she answered. "Well, I had downed quite a few shots by that point, when this girl, sober as all hell 'cause she hadn't done anything says, 'Never have I ever had sex.' So everyone takes a drink, except me. It was embarrassing and the fact that I was drunk enough not to know my own phone number didn't help. This guy, I think his name was Chris, not entirely sure, he was a few years older than me, comes up behind me and whispers in my ear, 'never have I ever taken some one's virginity.' Then he took my hand and led me upstairs. I was so drunk I don't really remember much. I just know that I woke up the next morning to my foster brother Mike barging into the room telling me that we had to get home before our foster father flipped. That's when I realized where I was and who I was with."
"Sara Sidle! I never would have imagined." Warrick taunted her.
"Yeah well, I was a different person back then. I just remember how sore I was that day and I'm not talking about the hangover."
"Eww." Greg teased.
"So what happened to the guy?" Catherine asked.
"Um, I don't know. I got moved out of that home a few weeks later, but last I heard he was in jail."
"Nice Sara. Real nice." Nick laughed.
"We should play." Catherine said out of the blue.
"Play?" Warrick asked, confused.
"Yeah, that drinking game. We should all play."
"I don't think so." Grissom was quick to say.
"Come on Griss, what's the matter, afraid?" Sara challenged, knowing he wouldn't back down from one from her.
"Alright fine. Order the rounds." He answered back, not realizing that she had just set him up. Catherine was staring at the two in open amazement, letting the categories for what to drink to flood her mind. She was going to get those two to spill their secrets.
After a few minutes they each had a shot of tequila in front of them and Sara once again explained the rules.
"…and no lying. It destroys the point of the game. And remember we're all investigators, we'll know if you're lying." She finished, when she received a nod from everyone, she asked. "Okay, who wants to start?" She was barely finished with her sentence when Greg jumpe dup from his chair, raising his hand high above his head.
"Oh me! Me!" Laughing, Sara nodded to him. "Okay. We'll start simple. Never have I ever broken the law, knowingly." With a sigh, Sara, Catherine, Warrick and Nick took their shots. Greg rose his eyebrows to them, silently questioning them.
"I broke into a convenience store and stole a box of animal crackers on a dare." Sara answered making everyone laugh.
"Ex-Cocaine addict." Catherine said, receiving knowing nods from around the table.
"Gambling's got me into a lot of trouble." Warrick sighed.
"A few things from being in a frat house in college." Nick finished.
"Okay, Grissom your turn." Sara said.
"Okay, uh…Never have I ever cheated on a partner." That made Sara's heart melt. With reluctance, Nick and Greg both took a drink.
"Again, frat house in college." Nick said in means of explanation.
"She was insane." Was all Greg said.
"Alright, let's see. Warrick you're turn." Catherine announced.
"Um…never have I ever had a three-some." With a guilty smile, Sara downed her shot, making Grissom's eyes go wide. Then Catherine followed with her drink, also surprised at Sara. Finally Greg, who just looked at Sara in approval.
"Sara Sidle!" Nick laughed again.
"What?! It was college. A time meant for experimentation." She defended, careful to keep her gaze away from Grissom. She could tell his eyes were on her and that his jaw was probably hanging open.
"So tell us Sara, guys or girls?" Greg asked with a waggle of his eyebrows. Grissom was pretty sure that in that moment, seeing Sara's face turning a bright shade of red, that his heart would stop.
"Well…like I said. It was a time for experimenting. He was a boyfriend and…she…well, she was my roommate." Now she was sure that she could hear Grissom's heart beating wildly and his breath catch from across the table. She smiled. She liked this game.
Catherine explained that Eddie had a thing for her with a certain girl she used to dance with. And Greg, he went into a spiel about latex and a lucky night in New York. Grissom heard none of it, his mind too busy adding images of Sara like that to his fantasies.
"Alright Sar, you're up." Catherine assigned. Sara, was relieved, because of her childhood, there were a few she could use without really revealing much.
"Never have I ever had sex in my parent's bed." Catherine was the only one to drink, not surprisingly.
After about a half hour, and some more simpler challenges, everyone was getting very drunk, and becoming a lot more open about their answers. Catherine used this to her advantage. Looking straight at Sara, she spoke.
"Never have I ever slept with one of my professors." Sara's jaw could be heard hitting the floor, followed quickly by Grissom's loud gulp. Everyone, except Grissom, watched on in amusement, as Sara, clench teethed and all and muttering some profanity, downed her shot.
"So Miss. Sidle, due tell." Catherine said with a huge grin plastered across her face.
"Yeah Sar. Tell us. Who was this professor?" Nick added.
If she hadn't been so intoxicated, she would have fought them all and demanded they all go to hell, but the alcohol wasn't letting her deny their speculations. Carefully avoiding Grissom's penetrating stare, she answered.
"He…he was my forensic entomology professor in grad school."
"I KNEW IT!" Catherine practically screamed. Now everyone picked up on her plan to get answers out of the two most private people on their team and so they forged on. Nick was first to add to their demise.
"Never have I ever slept with a student." Everyone immediately turned their eyes to Grissom, just in time to see him take a quick glance at Sara. Just like she had, muttering something about them being vultures and worse than Ecklie, he downed his shot.
"Why Gil, I never would have guessed." Catherine said with a fit of giggles.
"Yeah Griss, who was this lucky student of yours?" Greg asked, clearly enjoying his boss' discomfort. Sara was so drunk, that she was actually finding their approach humorous and was giggling while Grissom looked on disbelievingly.
"Well she was a very smart girl with never ending questions and a temper that was not one to mess with." He answered vaguely.
"Hmm, sounds familiar." Warrick quipped.
"Alright, alright. My turn." Greg announced. "Never have I ever moved to a new city because the person I was in love with asked me to."
A moment of truth. Grissom always wondered if she moved here for the job or for him, apparently so did everyone else.
"You guys suck." Sara said, slurring slightly as she took another drink. Grissom blushed. Well, now he knew. With a sly smile, Sara decided that tif he was privy to her intentions, she was privy to his. "Okay guys. Never have I ever asked someone to pick up their life and move to a new city for the main reason that I was in love with them." No one had been expecting her to fight for answers with them. They all took on a look of shock and a bit of fear as Grissom and Sara stared each other down. With a hard swallow, looking directly into her fierce eyes, Grissom gulped his shot.
Within the next half-hour, the team learned more about Grissom and Sara's relationship than they had ever wanted to know. Grissom confessed that he was obsessed with the Debbie Marlin case because he kept seeing Sara. Sara confessed that she only dated Hank to get Grissom to open his eyes. Grissom spilled that he only turned down her dinner invitation because he was intimidated by her beauty and youth and that he felt she deserved better. She then confessed that she could never get any better. Greg and Grissom drank when Warrick said that he never had fantasies of having sex with Sara on the layout table. Then Sara drank when Catherine said that she had never fantasized about having sex with Grissom on his desk.
Eventually Warrick got the waitress to call him and Catherine cabs, having heard enough about the two and afraid of what he might hear if he stayed. Nick and Greg left shortly after, hailing cabs outside, leaving Grissom and Sara alone in the bar.
"I'm drunk." Sara giggled, having a little trouble getting to her feet. Grissom laughed at her and then with his own trouble, tried to help her, resulting in her leaning against him. "Mmmm. You smell like Grissom." She laughed. "Are you Grissom?" She asked, looking up skeptically at him.
"I think I might be." He said in his own drunken stupor. "You're pretty." Together they stumbled outside, making random drunken comments about each other on the way. After a few minutes, they were able to hail a cab.
"Look! A cab!" Sara yelled excitedly.
"Shhh! They'll steal it." Grissom whispered conspiratorially, not caring to notice that there was no one in sight.
"Who are you?" Sara asked, as if just now realizing that he was there. "I'm going to call you Bob."
"I like Bob." He replied thoughtfully as they moved into the cab.
"Well you should silly. You're him!" She said before breaking into another fit of giggles.
"Uh, where to?" The cabbie asked, not even phased by their behavior. After much thought, Grissom finally gave him his address.
"Pssst!" Sara said, poking his ribs. "Pssst!" she said with a little more annoyance when he didn't answer.
"What?" He whispered back.
"I like you."
"I like you too."
"Uh oh."
"What?"
"Grissom is going to be jealous. He doesn't like me being with other men."
"He's a jerk."
"I know."
Fifteen minutes later, the cabbie pulled up outside Grissom's townhouse and after paying him five times the bill, Grissom and Sara staggered to his front door. Having not had a drink for a little while, they were becoming a little more in touch with their surroundings – and each other. Both of them came to the realization that Grissom was in fact Grissom, but they were both still drunk enough no to actually think too much about that.
By the time they made it to his front door, Sara's lips were furiously attacking Grissom's neck and he was hastily unbuttoning her blouse while trying to unlock the door. Within five minutes, they were both relieved of all their clothing, leaving a trail of clothes from the front door all the way to his bedroom, along with the multiple pictures that fell from the halls in their haste, the several knocked over lamps, the stack of papers that went flying, and the table that was kicked over. In one moment, five years of built up sexual tension was released as he sank into her. Despite their troubles with walking, they were both seemingly very capable in bed. After a little over an hour of shared passion, they laid spent and satiated on the bed together. Grissom pulled the blankets up and over them, and soon the rest of the alcohol took effect and they fell into a deep alcohol-induced sleep.
The next morning, across town, Nick, Greg and Warrick piled into Catherine's kitchen. Each sporting a hang-over, but nothing compared to what they imagine Grissom and Sara would awake with. Each of them having a very complete memory of the night before.
"I feel really bad about what we did to them." Catherine said as she made another cup of coffee for herself.
"Me too." Warrick agreed, followed by a grunt of agreement from Greg and a nod from Nick.
"We should do something for them." Nick suggested.
"Like what?" Greg asked.
"I don't know. Let's take them to breakfast or something, to officially apologize to them."
"That's a good idea Nicky. Let's go." Catherine added, downing the last of the coffee and grabbing her keys. Together they all took off to Grissom's house. The plan was to pick him up, since his car was still at the bar, and then do the same for Sara on the way to the diner.
Pulling up outside Grissom's townhouse, they all got out and made their way to his door. Catherine knocked, but they received no answer.
"Maybe he's sleeping." Greg mused. Catherine knocked again, but again received no answer. With a shrug, she tried the door knob, and to her surprise it opened. Looking over her shoulder at the others, she slowly opened the door.
"Gil?" She called as she stepped into the house. "Oh my god." She commented, seeing the destruction in the room. Hearing her gasp the guys quickly came in behind her and took in the scene. It was Greg that saw the clothing trail first. With a blush and a smile he bent over by the first broken lamp and picked up a black silky bra, holding it up for the others.
"Somehow I don't think this was a robbery." He quipped, taking in the room.
"Who would have thought?" Nick mumbled, having a hard time picturing Grissom and Sara making such a mess.
"Come on." Catherine instructed, walking along the path of clothing, picking each article up along the way until they reached the closed bedroom door.
"Uh, Cath, I don't think that this is such a good idea." Warrick whispered warningly.
"Oh come on. Don't be such a baby." She whispered back. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door, loud enough to wake the dead.
On the other side of the door, Sara and Grissom slept. Each taking up one side of the bed. The white sheet barely covering them. All the necessary parts were covered, but Sara's endless legs were hanging out and her chest – nothing important shown – but enough of it displayed to not leave much to the imagination. The sheet was draped across Grissom's thighs and waist, leaving his calves and abdomen exposed.
When the loud knock hit the bedroom door, it started them both awake. They sat up so quickly, their eyes wide, they would regret it later, thanks to the impending hangover. The movement of the other made them both startle again. That was when Sara felt the first wave of the hangover and she realized that this wasn't her bedroom. She refused to look over, scared of who she would find. Grissom, however, was sitting there, mouth wide open and confusion swimming his mind as he watched Sara, naked, taking in her surroundings. As if in a rush, all the memories from the night before came flooding back, making him gasp.
Before Sara could decipher the owner of that gasp, her question was answered when another loud knocking came from the other side of the door, making them both flinch at the noise.
"Grissom! Sara! Wake up!!!" Came Catherine's very loud voice.
"Gri…oh no." Sara whispered, her fears coming true as to the person in bed next her. Suddenly she felt very exposed and she clutched the sheet to her tightly as the memories hit her…hard. Standing up quickly, just to get out of his bed, she regretted it as a wave of nausea hit her. Not meeting his eyes, afraid of what she would see, she asked, "Bathroom?" Silently he pointed to the door on the adjacent wall and off she went, wrapped in his bed sheet.
"Gil, are you okay?" Catherine asked, having heard Sara asking for the bathroom.
"Wonderful. Just, uh, give me a minute." He called back, instantly hating how loud his voice sounded. Standing up, he walked to his dresser and pulled on a pair of boxers, jeans and a t-shirt. Listening to the sounds of Sara throwing up in his bathroom. Treading slowly, he made his way to the door and opened it to reveal the entire team. "Hi." He groaned, flinching at the light entering the room.
"Hi. You look like shit." Catherine answered as the boys made their way to the living room to give them some semblance of privacy.
"Gee, thanks." He replied sardonically.
"How's Sara?" Catherine asked hesitantly. Looking back to the bathroom door, he shook his head, a bad move.
"Ugh. I'm betting on a bit confused as to how she ended up in my bed and by the sounds of it, dealing with a nasty hangover." He answered quietly.
"Gil, I'm so sorry." She said in shame, looking down at the floor.
"It's not your fault Cath, we made our decisions to drink that much, and…god…say that much."
"And apparently, do that much?" She couldn't help but say as she handed him the clothing she gathered from the trail they left.
"Yes, thanks for pointing that out. I almost forgot." He said dryly.
"Sorry. Well, we were going to take you guys out for breakfast. You guys just saved us a trip to Sara's apartment." She chuckled, and then stopped when Grissom cringed. "Sorry. Uh why don't I go wait with the boys? Give you and Sara a chance to uh…talk, and come out when you're ready." She suggested quickly, and then retreating to the safety of the living room, where the boys were making themselves at home.
With a sigh, Grissom went back into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. The sounds in the bathroom stopped and he waited for Sara to come out, but she didn't. Nervously, he approached the closed door. Quietly he called out to her.
"Sara? Sara, are you alright?" When she didn't respond he became worried. "Sara?" Again all that greeted him was silence. "Sara, I'm coming in." He announced, then slowly he turned the door knob and pushed the door open. The sight before him made his heart wrench. Hangover momentarily forgotten, he stared at her. Sitting in the corner of his bathroom, wrapped tightly in the bed sheet, her knees to her chest, her arms wrapped securely around them and her face buried in her arms. As he slowly moved forward, he heard it – she was crying. "Oh Sara." He gasped, moving to sit next to her.
As if suddenly realizing he was there, she looked up, still avoiding his eyes.
"I…I'm…I'm sorry. I should…I should just go." She said quietly, making to get up, but stopping when Grissom took hold of her wrist.
"Sara, come here. Talk to me please." The pleading in his voice did her in. Reluctantly she sat back down.
"Look, Grissom…" She paused, not sure exactly what to say to him. "I um…I'm sorry. This…" Motioning her hand between them, "it shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry. You know, um, we were drunk. Really drunk. Let's just forget about it. I know how you feel about us, and I never should have let this happen. I should never have let that game continue last night. You know what? I'm just going to go. I'm sure the last thing you want right now is me crying in your bathroom. And I'll…I'll just, uh, I'll see you at work. Yeah. I just hope that this doesn't affect our friendship. But you know, if it's too much or whatever, I'll understand. Yeah, okay. Umm. Bye Grissom." And with her ramble done, she stood and all but ran from the bathroom, leaving a very confused Grissom behind. When it actually hit him that she was leaving, he stood quickly and followed after her into his bedroom.
"Sara, wait!" He called to her, just as she made her way to his bedroom door, carelessly dressed, but clothed none the less. She didn't speak or turn, but she froze her movements. "Sara, please. Don't go. Look, I…I know that we were drunk last night. And I know that it was probably the…worst way possible for anything to happen, but…but I…I don't regret it Sara. I don't. I don't regret anything that I said last night at the bar. I don't regret bringing you home. I don't regret the trail of broken pictures leading in here from the front door. But most importantly, I definitely don't regret making love to you, or falling asleep with you in my arms. Do I wish things could have gone a little differently? Yes. But I don't regret one moment. The only thing I regret was having not told you, shown you sooner everything you deserved to hear." Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but she still hadn't moved from her location at the door, holding tightly to the door knob. "Please Sara. Don't leave."
Hesitantly she nodded and backed away, back into the room, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
"What happens now?" She asked, so quiet that Grissom had to strain to hear her as he slowly made his way to sit next to her.
"Well, Catherine and the boys are all taking up home in the living room." At her quizzical expression, he shrugged. "They want to take us to breakfast."
"Oh." She sighed a bit disappointedly.
"Why don't I see if we can meet them for dinner later? Give us a chance to ease the hangover effects and…talk. If you want." He suggested, noticing that she wasn't too keen on the breakfast idea.
"Okay."
It took some convincing, but reluctantly Catherine agreed on dinner when Grissom offered to pay for everyone – minus the drinks of course. After seeing the rest of his team out, he took a deep breath and returned to his bedroom. When he opened the door, he stood there for a few moments just watching her as she moved around his room, looking at the multiple photos, framed and resting on shelves, and the eclectic collection of novels lining his bookcases – the novels he kept hidden in his bedroom for a reason.
"You know, I don't think anyone would peg you for a romance junkie Griss." Sara teased as she ran her finger over the spines of several romance novels.
"Well, good. That means I hid it well." He chuckled as he moved further into the room to stand a few steps behind her. He kept watching, his eyes following her every movement as she took a few more steps and came across another photo frame. He could tell she hadn't expected to see that one by the way her shoulders tensed and her finger lightly trailed over the image.
"I still have this one too." She barely whispered.
Her voice beckoned him forward, peering over her shoulder at the photo, his eyes rolling over the two figures frozen in time, in a happier time. Her hair was longer then, and his had less gray. His lips were pressed firmly to her temple and his arms were wrapped firmly around her midsection while she smiled lovingly. She was wearing a maroon tank top and low rise jeans, showing off her tanned midriff beneath his strong arms. He too was wearing jeans, along with a white polo shirt, also displaying his Californian tan. The most telling part of the photo was definitely the happiness and love that the two clearly had for each other.
"I've missed you." He whispered softly as he took a tentative step forward and placed a hand on her upper arm, stroking it gently. She tensed at first, but soon relaxed at his touch.
"I've missed you, too." She sighed, leaning back against his chest and letting his arms wrap around her torso, much like the photo. "So what do we do now? I mean…" Taking a deep breath she pulled away from him and took at seat on the bed again. "I mean, Griss, I want this, all of this, I do. I really do. I mean, I never wanted you to leave San Francisco seven years ago, but that's just it Griss, that was seven years ago. Spending one night, one drunken night, together doesn't change those years or make that time go away. It doesn't change our rolls at the lab. Or take away the pain. It just…" Stealing a glance up at his eyes, that looked lost in what she was saying, she continued. "It doesn't fix things Grissom."
For what seemed to her an eternity, they just stared at each other, the silence piercing the air ways and slowly driving her insane. She could tell that her words were taking effect on him as she watched the range of emotions rush through his eyes. How many times had she wanted him to open up to her, to let her see those emotions and now that she could, she was actually hoping for them to cloud over into indifference and have him quote some dead poet – the words sounding beautiful but that would take days to decipher the meaning, and even then, one could never be absolutely sure of his meaning behind them.
She was scared. She wanted this, wanted him, to be with him again, to love him and let him love her the way it should be, but she was afraid. Afraid of getting hurt again, afraid of hurting him, afraid that too much time had passed, afraid of the repercussions at the lab – just afraid.
Finally, Grissom moved, so unexpected that it actually startled Sara, and came to sit beside her on the bed, gently taking her slender hand in his.
"I won't sit here and tell you that I have the answers, because well, after seven years, we both know that I never do, not to the questions that matter anyways. I can't tell you what will happen with work, I can try and find out, but I don't know. I know that last night doesn't take away the pain I've put you through, and I don't expect it to. But I can tell you that I'm truly sorry, that if I could take away all that pain I would, but I can't. I can tell you that if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I don't know if time has done too much to sever us for this to work, I want to try. I know that every time you walk into a room my breath catches and my heart skips a beat. I know that the days that I woke up with you in my arms were the best days I've ever had, and that every day since I left San Francisco, since I left you there, has been the worst. Seeing you day after day, knowing that you could have any man you wanted, but don't, makes my heart ache, because all I want is to see you happy. And it took me seven years and a stupid drinking game to realize that I don't want someone else to be the one to make you smile. I want to make you smile and laugh. I want to be the one that holds you while you sleep, and that gets to come home to you." By this point there were tears streaming down her cheeks as she listened to his words and the watched the love flash in his eyes as he spoke them. "I love you Sara. I've never stopped."
"And I love you Gil." Leaning in, she placed a soft kiss to his lips, letting her fingers trail over his cheek. "I don't know what will happen, but, never have I ever wanted something so much before in my life, than to spend the rest of it with you."
-The End-
A/N: Please read & review. I do, so very much, love to hear what you think. :)