Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies. I own nothing. Except my car. And it's not even a good car.
A/n: I know what you're saying. "Why am I posting this thing and not updating "Cursed"?" The truth is I have terrible writer's block on "Cursed" and any suggestions as to where it
should go are welcomed. Also, this was to make you laugh. I hope it does. And if you don't catch the Pirates of the Carribean allusion in here then you're a right dunce, savvy?
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History of Magic was unarguably the most boring class to ever have been invented in the history of Hogwarts. And even Hermione Granger-Lupin: daughter of a werewolf, cub of the Pack, warrior-lioness of the Pride, had her limits.
Listening to Professor Binns drone on about the exploding toilet dilemma of 1976 was one of them.
Quickly and quietly she grabbed her wand and grabbed her pendants. She concentrated on the people she wanted to talk to and tapped her piece of parchment whispering "Notus". It glowed a brilliant violet and words in computer-like writing flashed across the top.
CatsRule has started a conversation.
4 corresponding papers flashed violet in the same room. Two floors down in the Transfiguration classroom two more papers flashed. Upstairs in Charms, one did.
BigBadWolf has entered the conversation.
Cannons4Ever has entered the conversation.
SnowFox has entered the conversation.
SilverMonkey has entered the conversation.
TheBlackPearl has entered the conversation.
MoonGoddess has entered the conversation.
GryffindorLynx has entered the conversation.
Cannons4Ever: Hermione…you rock!
CatsRule: Thank you. Thank you very much.
GryffindorLynx: That doesn't work without the accent.
CatsRule: Who asked you, Ginny? Draco, if you don't stop poking me with your quill you will find yourself without a hand.
SnowFox: I'm not poking you.
BigBadWolf: Yes you are.
SnowFox: Traitor.
SilverMonkey: (sarcastically) Great now they're poking each other.
CatsRule: That is great.
SilverMonkey: You're not sitting next to them.
TheBlackPearl: Aww, poor Neville. Are they poking you too?
SilverMonkey: Yes, actually. You're my girlfriend Meghan, aren't you supposed to be supportive?
MoonGoddess: She's supportively sarcastic.
SnowFox: Somehow I don't think that's the same, Luna-love.
Cannons4Ever: It's fun to watch, anyway. OW! Hermione!
GryffindorLynx: What'd she do?
Cannons4Ever: She smacked me.
GryffindorLynx: Good job
CatsRule: Thank you
Cannons4Ever: I'm outnumbered!
BigBadWolf: And outclassed.
Cannons4Ever: Aren't you supposed to be my best friend, Harry?
BigBadWolf: What do you suggest I do? Smack her back?
Cannons4Ever: Yes, actually.
BigBadWolf: Despite popular belief and the fact that I have a psychotic madman out to kill me…I don't have a death wish, Ron.
CatsRule: I can still see you, you know…
Cannons4Ever: Your point being?
Cannons4Ever has been ejected from the conversation by: CatsRule.
Ron looked up from his parchment and glared at the person next to him. She gave a cheeky little wave.
GryffindorLynx: That was very smooth Hermione and I applaud you. But I'm not the one that has to sit next to -
CatsRule: OW!
GryffindorLynx: My point has been proven.
CatsRule: Fine. FINE! Stop pinching me!
MoonGoddess: He can't hear you.
Cannons4Ever has re-entered the conversation.
MoonGoddess: Never mind.
Cannons4Ever: Never mind what?
BigBadWolf: We were making fun of you behind your back.
Cannons4Ever: Really?
BigBadWolf: Yes.
GryffindorLynx: Of course.
MoonGoddess: The whole time you were gone, practically.
SnowFox: It was loads of fun, too!
CatsRule: …where's Meg and Neville? Shouldn't they be helping us torture Ron?
Cannons4Ever: Were you guys really making fun of me?
BigBadWolf: I realize turning around would be too much effort for you Neenie, but I think Neville is asleep.
CatsRule: Asleep? Really?
BigBadWolf: No, I was lying to you.
GryffindorLynx: Because no one has ever fallen asleep in Binns' class.
Cannons4Ever: Will somebody answer me? If you don't answer I'll feel neglected and then I'll need therapy and I can't bloody well afford it!
CatsRule: Sarcasm doesn't become you two.. Eight Sickles says they're upstairs.
CatsRule has raised her eyebrows to indicate which upstairs she is talking about.
BigBadWolf: That's a sucker bet…five Sickles.
CatsRule: Deal.
Cannons4Ever: I hate you all. Answer me.
GryffindorLynx: So where are Draco and Luna? We haven't heard from them in ages.
Cannons4Ever: I'm serious!
BigBadWolf: No you're not.
Cannons4Ever: What?
BigBadWolf: Nothing.
CatsRule: Draco and Luna are probably in their own little side conversation.
GryffindorLynx: So Neville and Meghan are…"upstairs" having a grand old time. And Draco and Luna are probably having an inappropriate conversation. So we're stuck here exchanging witty insults with these two.
CatsRule: Pretty much.
GryffindorLynx: What are Harry and Ron doing?
CatsRule: Plotting a prank on the Slytherins.
GryffindorLynx: Without us?
CatsRule: No. They'll need us any minute now
GryffindorLynx: This is true
CatsRule: And they'll need us to pull it off anyway.
GryffindorLynx: Also true.
BigBadWolf: Hey, what's better? Whipped cream and feathers or sticky glue and feathers?
CatsRule: Told you.
GryffindorLynx: A healthy combination of the lot, I'd think.
BigBadWolf: Good choice.
GryffindorLynx: Thank you ever so. And Neenie I think you're right about Draco and Luna. She's certainly a lot more pink then she had been.
CatsRule: Draco too.
BigBadWolf: So we're pulling the prank off tonight, because everyone leaves for Christmas holidays tomorrow morning. Who's in? Besides you Ron, you don't count. I know you're in
Cannons4Ever: I'm saying it anyway. I'm in.
GryffindorLynx rolls her eyes.
GryffindorLynx: I'm in too.
CatsRule: Count me in.
TheBlackPearl: For your information, Hermione, we were upstairs. Not that it's any of your business. And I'm in as well.
SilverMonkey: I'm there.
SnowFox: Don't even think of doing it without me.
MoonGoddess: Who am I to desert such a noble cause? Me too.
Cannons4Ever: So Operation Get-Those-Snakes is a go?
SnowFox: 01800 hours. Got it.
CatsRule: Should we synchronize our watches?
BigBadWolf: I'm Bosley.
Cannons4Ever/GryffindorLynx/SilverMonkey/MoonGoddess "What?"
TheBlackPearl: Muggle American television show. We'll explain it to you later. Flitwick is giving me a weird look. Pearl-girl is out!
TheBlackPearlhas exited the conversation.
GryffindorLynx: McGonagall is getting suspicious too. Lynx is gone.
GryffindorLynxhas exited the conversation.
MoonGoddess: I'm inclined to follow Ginny. We'll continue our discussion later Draco.
MoonGoddesshas exited the conversation.
CatsRule: Are you blushing?
SnowFoxhas exited the conversation.
BigBadWolf: Oh, the blackmail possibilities…
BigBadWolf has exited the conversation.
Cannons4Ever: We're going to go torture Draco. Coming Nev?
Cannons4Ever has exited the conversation.
SilverMonkey: I'm out too.
SilverMonkeyhas exited the conversation.
CatsRule: And then there was one…
CatsRule has exited the conversation. Conversation terminated. This note will self destruct in 60...59...
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The Pride scrambled to get their things as the bell rang and they met up in the Great Hall for lunch, laughing and smirking and plotting their prank more extensively. Discreetly Hermione kicked her bag away from the table. 10 seconds later…
POOF!
Smoke curled around the remaining members of the Pride.
"HERMIONE!"
"Just keeping with the theme!"
"I'm going to kill you!" Ginny shouted at Hermione once they cornered her. "But first…show me how to do that. I have an idea."
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The next morning Dudley Dursley woke up screaming. He was covered in whipped cream, sticky glue, and feathers as were the rest of his dorm-mates.
The words 'Molesti sunt Dei' were plastered across the ceiling and everyone in their year had bright red skin and gold hair (or sometimes the other way around, for variety).
A poster-sized piece of paper was hung in front of the entrance. It read in red and green letters: "Happy Christmas!" Even as they watched the words changed. "This cheerful holiday message will self-destruct in 10...9..."
Before they could move it skipped a few numbers and
BOOM!
Large smoky figures of a wolf, a lynx, a cat, a hawk, a fox, an owl, a monkey, and a doe wreaked general havoc.
Dursley howled again, this time accompanied by his year-mates. "Bloody Gryffindors!"
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Eating their breakfast in the Great Hall the perpetrators of this prank grinned knowing as the howls drifted up from the dungeons.
Draco lifted his goblet of pumpkin juice.
"To a Happier Christmas than them. Cheers!"
"Cheers!" His seven companions echoed, clinking all their goblets together and taking a long swig.
Yes, for the group of eight teenage witches and wizards known as the Pride, this was going to be a very happy Christmas indeed.
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A/n: So? Great? Good? Bad? Horrible? (Hopefully neither of the last two). Leave a review and tell me your favorite part!