Hello, I'm Condensed Space and this is a weird drabble thing that has been bothering me for quite a while about the complex (and very much over-thought) friendship between two boys. Hope you enjoy!

*Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter is amazing; therefore, it's not mine ;P*

Summary:

"Even the happiest of people could feel lonely at times, Killua learned." In which a white-haired boy contemplates the workings of the world.

The story begins like this.

It starts with a glorious (and slightly overused) "once upon a time", opening with quite a lot of imagery. The first few sentences paint pictures with crisp words and vague details. There is always a hero, his potential lover, a loyal companion, and an outside force trying to stop the hero from getting what he wants (his lover, money, treasures, and so on). Eventually, after some decent storytelling with some clichés and plot twists, the story ties itself up with a nice little bow, ending with a quaint "happily after".

And the story ends.

Killua sighs into his palms, and looks up at the starry sky above him. The sky he had grown up seeing had been a trivial blotch hanging drearily above the colossal buildings of the city, splattered with tiny specks of light. The air there was always filled with smog from the abundance of cars and the factories. Killua enjoyed the modern age anyway – when he hadn't been training or doing a job, he spent most of his days indoors, getting what he wanted when he wanted it (as long as it was within his family's restrictions). He spent a lot of his time playing video games and watching television and trying to learn about the world that he wasn't privileged enough to physically explore. Sure, he'd gone to various different regions and countries to… Kill people on his father's orders, but it's not like he actually got to look around.

And then he met Gon, who promised him with his smile and laugh and his all-seeing eyes that he would take him to his home, Whale Island, dab-smack in the middle of nowhere.

And Whale Island was… Really low-tech. Actually in the middle of nowhere, too. Whale Island was a small, tight-knit place, with small buildings and small amounts of residents and a small everything. Everything seemed suspended in time, with the slow and easy-going drift of the community. Killua knew he could never stay there (it had been way too slow-paced for him, and he couldn't be as easily occupied like Gon), but he could take in these wondrous deep breaths of the freshest air, sucking it into his lungs and keeping it there. He could run on free grassy hills untouched by tar and concrete and he could just be under the wide blue sky (had it always been that blue?), the sight unrestricted by multitudes of skyscrapers. It was a great place to be, regardless of the slow, slow, molasses slow life there.

Plus, Killua was with Gon. Which was a nice bonus.

After Gon eagerly introduced Killua to Aunt Mito and his grandmother, eating so much of Aunt Mito's mouth-watering food that Killua was pretty sure that he was about ten pounds heavier, and after Gon showing Killua around the island's forest, they had settled down on a peaceful outlook bordered by trees after a filling dinner of freshly caught fish. The night was cool, and despite the fact they were in the forest, there was not a whisper from any bug wildlife around them. The only noise was the sputtering of the fire and Gon's breathing.

Killua didn't even know what made Gon so great to be around. Was it his natural grace and the bounce in his steps when he walked? Maybe it was his wide 50-watt smile that he used to greet everyone and anyone he saw. Maybe it was how Gon was just his pace. Perhaps the seemingly reckless, yet still thoughtful way he fought. Maybe it even was the deep knowing in his eyes, the way he avoided subjects that he knew Killua didn't want to talk about, and blabbering on about something just to fill the silence between the two.

He enjoyed it. For the majority of his childhood, he had been locked up like a prized possession (which was probably all he was worth in the end) inside his room. He had spent his childhood only surviving. He grew up feeling the exhilarating, terrible rush of electricity run through his flesh and his bones and trying not so hard not to feel because it hurt, or being whipped senseless so many times that he didn't even mind the warm blood trickling down his lean form, or learning the disgusting art of body manipulation, feeling his muscles and his bones and his nerves shift so many times that after a while, he didn't even feel the pain anymore. He had spent so many days, months, years, drowning in silence that he always half expected to be just left alone and isolated every time Gon exited a room.

And he knew Gon was the same, too. His new companion had spent most of his childhood exploring Whale Island alone. With the way Gon had toured him around the island with this warm fondness in his eyes as he went on and on, Killua was sure that the other boy had every detail of the island engraved into his mind. Sometimes, Killua picked up on small, bothersome things about Gon. Sometimes, he would catch the taste of a slightly less than full laugh, and although his eyes shined, there was something just missing in his milk chocolate eyes. Even the happiest of people could feel lonely at times, Killua learned.

Killua knew loneliness was something he deserved. He couldn't have friends; they would all die by his hands, as his family had always warned.

But Gon had genuinely reached out to Killua, despite Killua's identity (not that Gon had any clue about what his family did for a living in the beginning, or really cared in the end, anyway). He thought that when Gon had started talking to him, and wasn't running away from fear, maybe Gon was just weird. Then it turned into being closer than strangers in five minutes, and then in not even two they were racing and promising to buy each other dinner one day. It was a strange transition, but Killua decided he liked it anyway. At first, he thought Gon was cool, and seemed to be strong. That was it. But as Killua learned more about Gon, he realized how much he really did care about him. He wanted to open up to Gon, tell things to him because he felt like Gon should hear them. He felt a burning need to follow him, not only because he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, but also because it just felt right. He wanted to be by Gon's side, to be a part of all the things that he did. Gon was his pace, and he could listen, and was willing, and was the one person in the universe who really just understood.

He breathed for a second; he didn't even realize that he had stopped doing so. The temperature had dropped a few degrees from before, just cold enough for the bite of the frigid air to be mildly uncomfortable. The fire was dwindling; the edges of the timber that was previously a stage for many warm dancing flames had become a stack of void, darkened twigs that glowed orange with life when Killua blowed on them.

After resurrecting the fire a few times before it fell back to its quiet orange blur, Killua gave a small glance to Gon, and his lips curved into a grin. Gon was smiling at whatever he was dreaming of, almost laughing. Killua shook his head, laughing silently, before starting to settle back onto the ground. He looked up to the sky as his back once again took its shape against the Earth's surface, used his hands as a pillow beneath his head, and closed his eyes with a soft sigh.

Gon was too innocent. He was inexperienced, but in far more ways than which Killua was. Gon hadn't seen the world's bad points. He didn't know what it was like to steal lives by slitting throats as easily as slicing a knife through a warm stick of butter. He didn't know what the blood smelled like, the rusty metallic tinge in the air lingering for days, even after the stains were washed away.

But it was okay. The past was in the past, and there was nothing Killua could do to change it.

Gon had reached out to Killua. It was Killua's turn to be with Gon, to protect him, to help him up when he falls, and to run after him when Gon is far ahead.

It was far from a happy ending, or even an ending in a slightest.

But Killua was a selfish, ignorant fool, who was friends with Gon, another selfish, ignorant fool, and they would travel the world and find Gon's dad and make up for lost childhoods and broken promises and isolation and the hurt, and it would be alright.

fin.

-CS