Arrabelle Ebony
By Jade Ireson
Epilogue
Lessons of Love
Love isn't a red rose on a summer's day.
Love isn't the typical boy-meets-girl cliché
Love isn't being swept off your feet by a knight in shining armour
Love isn't just about looks
Love isn't easy
Love isn't fair
Love is dealing with their good and bad points
Love is accepting them as they are
Love is unconditional
Love is sacred
Love is patient
Love is kind
Chapter one
I wake up in a bed and I take a deep breath in. I smell the clean disinfectant smell of a hospital. I start to panic. "How the hell did I get here?" I say aloud.
"You collapsed dear." I jumped and turned to look at the nurse cleaning my room.
I close my eyes and sigh. Do not call me that, it makes me feel old. I am only seventeen. "Is there anyone here for me?" I say, opening my eyes. "Oh she's gone, oh well." I close my eyes again and I start to wish I were somewhere else, when I hear someone come in.
"Don't worry Hun; I'll get you out of here before they run tests." I hear a man with a gorgeous rough voice. I open my eyes to find a beautiful man standing at the end of my bed; he looks like a rebellious angel and sounds like one too. "Here take this, it'll make you sleep. We'll come back tonight and get you." He turns and walks towards the window.
"Who the hell are you?" I say, reaching for the buzzer for the nurse.
"Take this, okay and we will come back tonight to get you. Just remember angelo sacro."
"Can't I stay here? I feel really weak and I need to recuperate." I say trying to sit up.
"You can recuperate, when we get to where we are going, now take this I've got to go." He forces liquid into my mouth. "Goodbye babes, I'm doing this because I don't want to see you in a cage in some laboratory getting tested on and I love you so much."
I have to swallow before I can speak and he leaves before I get to ask him anything. I feel my eyes closing and I let them drop, I let myself fall asleep. I hear the nurse come back in with the doctor and he is furious that she got him out of an important meeting to find the patient, me, is fast asleep still.
Although my body is asleep, my mind is awake and I start to think of all the questions I want to ask this rebellious angel. Who are you? Where do I know you? How did I get here? Why are you calling me babes? Moreover, why would they test me? Well the first one is not that hard to figure out; he is a rebellious angel, I have died and gone to hell, or heaven. It depends on how you think of it. The second one does not matter if the first one is correct, which I doubt as he is calling me babes. Why would an angel call me babes? How I died is an incredibly hard question to answer as is why they would test me, I think I need to ask … What do I call him. I don't know his name and yet he seems to know me, quite well by the sounds of it. I shall call him Angel… Anyway, I need to ask Angel why they would test on me and why I'm here! Sorted, except I do not know if I can trust him or whether he can tell me anything… Hmmm, I will have to try to make him answer somehow.
I wake up to the sound of scratching and put it down as a dream, except I wasn't dreaming. I look around me and I can see nothing because it's pitch black, except…. No, it was nothing or was it…. No, I'm still groggy from sleep; my mind is just making things up. Not likely! I try to remember where I was before I collapsed and what was going on before that when I heard scratching again, but this time it was louder and I heard a voice mutter some foreign word that I vaguely recognised as sacred angel. I'm scared; I grab my monkey, and press the buzzer for the nurse to come, except she doesn't. I feel very alone and scared, I just want my bed, to feel comfort and safe, except I don't know where that is anymore. Oh, I remember who he is now. Since I met him, I lost everything I had for the sake of being with him. You might think it's stupid to leave everything for a man who I had just met but he promised me I could live forever, be powerful, and have everything I ever wanted. However, I feel weak, on the verge of death and all I want is for everything to go back to normal. I hear a screeching sound, like nails going down a blackboard, and it's louder than ever. Now I start sobbing, shouting for help, and pressing the buzzer. My grip on my monkey tightens. However, it's like no one can hear me, like I am alone again, I really should be getting use to feeling alone because that's what it's always like. I see a shadow go past the window and this time I really do see it. "Who's there? Show yourself or I'll… I'll… I'll" My voice breaks.
"You'll what?" That's exactly what I am thinking. Said the rough voice of the rebellious angel called Shaun.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? You scared the merda out of me!"
"Shh darling, don't talk, just listen" He half whispers in a dreamy voice that you just have to obey. "Get dressed and climb on my back." I start getting dressed. "I've wiped all records of you being here and no one knows I'm here either. Finished?" I nod and he jumps out of the window, with me on his back.
I feel a falling feeling then it all goes dark and I wake up in hospital again. The nurse comes in and says, "Ah, your awake pet, I'll go and get the doctor." She leaves and I close my eyes, an involuntary action, and think about the nurse. I feel a presence and open my eyes to find Shaun standing at the bottom of my bed. He tries to get me to leave, but it's half-hearted as if he wants me to stay; I convince him that I need to stay. He still forces me to drink a drink of something. I fall asleep again and start to think about everything that was wrong.
The nurse was fat, ginger, a Geordie and nice to me. It smells mouldy and dirty, my bear's missing, it's snowing outside … My bear's missing! I start to panic and thrash about. I feel people constraining me and I feel a warm, soothing feeling at the back of my throat, I start to calm down. I think of happy memories, I remember walking through my bedroom door into my room. It had bare floorboards, not because I was poor but because I wanted to have bare floorboards. It had dark red walls with black hand-painted roses and spiders on it, hand painted because I did it. It had no visible radiator because it had under floor heating, yes even in the attic. The window, in the roof, was covered in a thin layer of dark purple tissue paper to cover the room in a purple light. The light was a black glass chandelier with cobwebs all over it; my 'mother' wasn't happy with it. She was always trying to get me to have a carpeted 'normal' coloured room, but the maids she employed liked it, they always did. I remember walking through the door and my eyes were always drawn to my vampire heartthrob poster above my bed. I remember taking a deep breath in and smelling the lavender and chocolate smells that were coming from my walls. I remember running and jumping onto my bed out of habit. I remember rolling my eyes at the usual 'stop jumping on your bed, missy, or else!' there never was an 'or else'. I remember grabbing my laptop and going on MSN. I remember organising parties and meeting up with friends. I remember chatting to Shaun and he was telling me… Me… What was he telling me? It's obviously important or else I wouldn't have dreamt it. Or would I?
It all goes black and I wake up on a mouldy couch in a dark dingy room that has red walls with hand painted roses and spiders on it, with a woolly cover over me. I can still smell the faint smell of lavender and chocolate mixed in with the stench of mould and alcohol. I sit up and see Shaun talking to an old man. Is he my father?
The old man looks like he will break if you hug him; he has a powerful voice that you wouldn't expect from such a thin man and its one that you just have to listen to. Shaun is ignoring the old man and is staring at me; I start to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, although I don't know why. He has a penetrating stare. I shift around and go to grab my monkey, a natural reaction. I suddenly start to panic and scramble around for my monkey. "Where's my monkey?" I say, trying to calm down, "where the hell is it?" Oh my god, if I lose that bear I don't know what I would do. I need that bear!
"Don't panic babes; we'll get you another one. It was old and frayed anyway." Shaun says comfortingly, coming over to hug me.
I push him away "I don't want another one I want my bear, my monkey" He tries to hug me again and I push him away "Find my monkey or else!" Oh my god, I've started to sound like my 'mother'.
Shaun realising this sneers "yes mum" at me then winks to show he's joking. He goes into my… no our, bedroom. Moments later he comes out saying "I can't find it babes" I give him a look and he sighs, "I'll look again but it's not where you usually have it." He goes to go into our room.
"Wait," I remember know. "I did have it in the hospital but I didn't have it in my dream. I always have my bear in my dreams"
Shaun says "the hospital, are you serious?" He sighs, "Right I'll go and get it!" He walks away muttering to himself, I just catch him saying, "God, she always has to have her own way!"
The old man stands up, sighs, rolls his eyes at Shaun, and says very seriously, "Shaun! What dream?"
I felt obliged to answer him so I told him about my dream. I leave out feeling vulnerable, uncomfortable and Shaun staring at me. Well it wasn't in my dream; he only wanted to know about my dream. However, I tell him every little detail, even about Shaun forcing me to drink something.
We chat about things all night and then we go to sleep. I suddenly wake up on the couch, it's still dark, but I just feel like someone is watching me. "Shaun!" I shout. He comes out of our room, walks over to me, and hugs me "Shaun, I feel like someone is watching me" I whisper. To be honest, I think I'm still asleep and babbling. "I'm so scared; I don't want to lose you again. I love you so much." Shaun goes to leave "no, don't leave. Just hold me" He lies on the couch, lets me lay on him and sleep.
We go to the hospital and get my monkey back. "What's the deal with this monkey?" Shaun says after we get out of the hospital.
Ah, how do I answer this, I can't remember "I don't know" I answer.
"Yeah right, like I'm going to believe that!" I flash him an annoyed look.
I remember that I have always had it, so… "I think it's kind of a family heirloom," I say very carefully, finishing my thought aloud. Ah. I remember now. But do I tell them? I don't know whether I can trust them.
"What do you mean?" Shaun says, staring at me with puppy dog eyes.
Don't do that Shaun, you know I have to answer you when you do that. Though I don't think he realises that he is doing it.
"It's kind of hard to explain to those who weren't there when it happened" I toy with the idea of telling them what happened "When I was young something happened that made me depend on an inanimate object, because I couldn't depend on my parents, anymore." I rush it all out in one go and then look at the ground. What was I thinking? I obviously can trust them, can't I?
"May I ask why, or is that going to bring up bad memories?" Shaun hugs me
"I saw them get killed, didn't I, and then the house got torched and all I could get out of there was my bear and my picture of my family." Where is that? "That's another reason why I get weird around you sometimes." I start to cry and I blink the tears back. Shaun realises this and changes the subject.
"Talking of weirdness why did you say 'I don't want to lose you again' last night" Shaun whispers into my ear.
"Did I say that? I don't remember." When did I say that? Maybe it was when I was asleep, maybe he didn't realise I was talking in my sleep. I walk off "I don't remember much nowadays."
"Yeah you did. What d'ya mean you don't remember much nowadays?" Shaun catches up with me and grabs my hand. "That isn't good!"
"I can't remember anything before waking up in hospital, well except about my parents. Oh and that room we were in, when it was mine." I say getting into the car.
The old man turns around "What?"
"I can't remember anything at all"
Shaun gets into the car and starts driving.
"That's bad, really bad." The old man mutters to himself. "Can you remember who we are?"
"Why didn't you tell us?" Shaun says angrily, he starts muttering to himself
"I can remember what Shaun's name is but not who you are, if that makes sense?" Shaun, shut up. You aren't helping. "I can't remember anything else about either of you, about anything else. But I want to remember on my own."
"I am Bert. Shaun is your boyfriend. I am... Um... A family friend" Bert turns around and takes my face in his hands "Remembering should come with time."