Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Smosh.
Anthony had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He just couldn't do it anymore, he just wasn't happy. He wouldn't be happy until he was with the one person he has loved for so long, but couldn't confess it to.
He lay on his couch staring up at the ceiling. He felt like he was drowning. Things had become so hard lately. He loved someone who was his best friend and would probably never have feelings for him, considering he was straight.
Anthony chocked back a cry as he looked at his arms. How could he have ever ended up this way? He just wished that his dreams of Ian would come true. He sat up and covered his face with his hands. He just couldn't hold back the tears anymore. It was a good thing that Ian wouldn't be home for hours to see him this way.
Ian hadn't seen the cuts or scars and Anthony was hoping to keep it that way. Hard telling how Ian would take it. Anthony headed to the bathroom where he had a razor hidden. He needed to feel something that this emotional pain. The physical pain was like a release and helped ease the pain he felt in his heart.
He inhaled and exhaled slowly as he slid the sharp, flexible, little blade across his wrist. The blood began to drip into the sink after several more strokes of the blade. That's when he heard the front door open.
'SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT' Anthony thought as he ran his bloody under the cold water for a few seconds until the flow of blood eased. He pulled selves of his jacket down so Ian wouldn't be able to see. He just couldn't risk him seeing this. He had never seen him this low. He never wanted him to see him this low. He couldn't let the man he loved so dearly see it.
"Anthony?" Ian called as he set the groceries down on the counter.
"Hey, Ian, I'll right there, dude." Anthony shuffled in the bathroom to collect himself. After he calmed down and hid his new cuts he head out to the kitchen.
"Hey, Anthony, want to help put the food up?" Ian asked giving him a skeptical look.
"Sure." The taller boy shrugged as he took some of the items and put them in the right places. There was a long awkward silence as they put the items away.
"So I had a new idea for a video," the shorter one piped up as they continued.
They discussed making another Pokémon in real life or more Smosh Libs. They enjoyed doing those videos so much.
"Anthony?" Ian asked gently as the finished and went to sit down and watch some movie.
"Yeah?" he replied as he tried to avoid eye contact. He couldn't really stand to look at after what he had just done.
"Is there something wrong with you?" Ian questioned him, raising an eyebrow while waiting for him to look him in the eye.
"Um, yeah dude. I'm just still a little torn up about the break up is all," Anthony quickly replied avoiding eye contact at all cost.
"Anthony, don't lie to me and for fucks sake look at me," He hissed at Anthony as he grabbed his arm roughly.
"Ouch! Keep your motherfucking hands off of me!" he blurted out in pain. Ian had just grabbed where he had cut.
Ian looked hurt and let go of his arm as he stepped back.' I didn't mean to hurt him. I just know he's lying about this,' Ian thought.
"I'll be in my room if you need me…" Anthony replied as he looked down at the ground and headed to his room.
Ian sat down and began watching a movie he had seen for a 5 time this week. He just needed to find something to get his mind off of Anthony. He hated when he got mad at him. All Ian wanted to do was make him happy. He loved seeing him smile and laugh, it always made his day.
When Ian woke up it was around 9. Anthony probably wasn't up yet so he decided to fix breakfast as an apology. He wanted to make it up for accidently hurting him yesterday.
After everything was made he went to the bathroom. Ian had a throbbing headache and went to retrieve the Tylenol. Fuck, that bottle was brand-new! Where could they have gone? Ian thought to himself as he looked down and spotted a little glinting piece of metal… A razor?
What was a razor doing here? What was going on? Suddenly Ian's throat went dry. 'What if… oh god. Oh dear god I'm going to get sick.'
Ian ran to Anthony's bedroom. Anthony was lying on his bed and an empty bottle of Tylenol was lying on the floor next to him. As Ian panicked, he called 911. He would be damned if he lost his best friend and the love of his life. If Anthony made it through this he was going to finally tell him how he felt about him.
It had been about two weeks since the incident and since Anthony was coming home today he decided it was time to tell him how he felt. He couldn't hold it back.
Anthony sighed as he watched out the window as him and Ian neared the house when Anthony finally spoke up. "When we get to the house we need to talk, Anthony."
All he could do was nod, due to the fact that he was terrified about what Ian could possibly want to talk to him about. Did he find out his feelings for him?
They got home and Anthony instantly went and sat down on the couch as he tried to show no signs that he was a nervous wreck.
Ian walked over and sat next to him. He gently spoke looking down at his hands. "I think it's time I tell you this. Even if you stop talking to me or stop being my friend, I have to tell you. I can't hide this anymore."
Anthony's heart leaped into his throat with every word the bowl haired boy said. The only thing he could manage was a small nod.
"Anthony…" Ian paused and the continued " I love you…"