Author's note: whew, it's been a long time since I wrote Ameripan or even Asakiku. This one could be the continuation of Butterflies, but this fic can actually stand on it's own.
To be honest, this is based on what I felt whenever my draga would mention her ex. I feel a bit like she doesn't love me as much, but in the end I just kept telling myself that as long as she is with me...everything is fine.
disclaimer: hetalia is not mine
Steal
Being a hero, I'm not supposed to do bad things intentionally. Sure, I did some terrible stuff during the world wars, the cold war and other wars I may have joined. But my intentions were not for myself but for my people, friends and family. Some may think I'm selfish and stupid, but give me a break, I'm young and I'm not stupid, simply brash.
But if there was one thing I want to do that is intentionally bad was to steal. I wanted to steal something for selfish means. Steal something I desire and crave. I wanted to steal something from another man who I was jealous of. To steal what I always wanted but can never have.
I wanted to steal your heart, because no matter how much you say you love me...hearing you talk about ihim/i makes me feel like I don't have you.
I love you. I love you more than he could ever will. I love you, even when I knew I will only have the remains of your shattered heart. I just wanted to have you, to hold you and to be able to say you are mine. But it wasn't enough, I wanted more, more, I wanted to have you whole, but when he left you, he took a good chunk of your heart with him.
I have you in my arms. I have your smile. I have your laugh. I have you, physically, I have you, but emotionally...who do you belong to?
Today was the same, we are together, talking. I would make jokes, exaggerate scenes and make funny gesture, in hopes to make you smile. My efforts were not in vain. Your chocolate like eyes would brighten up, your expressionless face would soften and a small smile would play on your kissable lips. My heart would lighten at the smallest gestures.
"-and that's how I saved the day!" I said loudly, "and only using burgers and some tape!" I said in a proud voice.
I heard you chuckle, bringing a hand to partially cover your mouth, "hai, Alfred-san is certainly a Hero." You praised and I smiled in return.
You got up after a while, offering me tea as usual. I smiled and accepted, anything from you is like a gift from heaven. You left for the kitchen and I waited a few minutes, trying to ignore some of the pictures that hung on the wall. Pictures of you and him.
You returned with the promised tea, I smiled at you and you returned the gesture with a smaller one. You placed the tray on the table and gave me my cup. My face dropped when I noticed what type of tea was in it.
"Kiku," I started to say, "you know I don't like Earl grey." I said with a nervous laugh.
You blushed in embarrassment, it was cute, "Gomenasai Alfred-san!" You said quickly, "I was thinking about Arthur-san a while ago and must have automatically gotten the earl grey." You explained, I frowned even more.
It was always Arthur wasn't it? You always think of him even when he broke your heart. You always think of him, even when I'm here with you. You always loved him even when I love you more than he ever did. Why? Why won't you look at me? I love you but it was always Arthur. Arthur this and Arthur that. Why can't it be Alfred? Why can't it be me?
"Kiku," I whispered and you looked at me. I stared at you straight in the eyes, willing myself not to cry, "I love you Kiku." I said.
"I love you too Alfred-san." You replied, almost automatic. But was that response true?
"But you love Arthur more." I said suddenly, unable to control myself, "why can't you love me?" I asked, my voice desperate and anguished, "he left you! I'm here I won't leave you!" I can feel the tears trailing down my face, "please love me!"
I'm tired, so tired of pretending to be happy. I'm tired of telling myself that everything was alright. I'm tired of saying everything is enough. I'm tired. So tired that I just want to give up. But I can never give you up. I love you, I love you so much. All I want, if for you to love me.
But your heart belongs to another, if only I stole it long ago.
"Alfred-san..." You said softly, "I do love you..."
"But you always think of Arthur." I said, "never me..."
You sighed, your eyes becoming duller, "I love you Alfred-san, I really do...but I just can't let go of Arthur-san...I want to...but I can't seem to m-move on." You stuttered, your voice quivering.
I sighed, I don't want you to be sad. I got up from my seat and approached your slumped figure. You had tears trailing down your face but you refused to let out a sound, not even a whimper. Gently I gathered you into my arms, you stiffened but slowly relaxed. I hummed softly, normally it was you comforting me, but at these rare times, I cherish, because I felt I was being a true hero. That I was finally doing something right.
"It's okay Kiku," I whispered gently, "I love you."
One day, one day you will be mine. Fully and completely. One day you will move on and will learn to love me. One day we will both be happy. One day everything will be how it should be.
One day...I will be able to steal your precious heart.
Author's note: a bit sad I know. Anyway read a d review and thank you for reading!
please forgive poor plotting, typographical errors, spelling errors and any more such errors
