I never thought to be something special. And didn't try to be, because I had someone to think of as special for me. That was enough.
Always used to be calm and gentle and polite, so people liked the way I behave. Most of them did. They often praised me, saying what a good child I was. I loved it, seemed like my idea worked. So I lived with the dream to be liked forever by anybody.
Like I said, I was still very young. Beacuse than came another child, a boy, and showed me that I was never ment to be perfect enough for everybody to like me. He constantly proved me that, let me think that I was nothing in comparison to him. Not by showing off but by being naturally.
I have my strong sides, but it became impossible to try and become better then him in different things, for the simple reason that I was admiring him and didn't dare to compete.
He was stronger, braver, smarter and far more beautiful, then me.
Though we had the same blood.
Everytime those eyes looked at me, it felt like a bullet shot through me, muting me and forcing to starr back at him like a paralysed victim. No wonder he always called me an idiot, when I couldn't answer to something right away, but I didn't mind, he was right in some way.
But just watching him forming sculptures, madly beating things in a fit of rage or gently caressing the plants he grew, it made me feel enchanted. Every of his gestures and looks where so unique, although held an amazing amount of messages. I was charmed by the way his body moved or the expressions on his face changed, nobody distracted me as much as him.
I did never know what to answer when I was asked what I think about him, but know I write it down, so everybody knows who the man, that I loved from the bottom of my heart, truly was.
His name is Lovino.