A/N: Hey! So, this is my first attempt to write a OITNB fiction. So... hope you like it.
I'm early apologizing for the spelling mistakes. English isn't my native language, but I swear I tried my best. Feel free to correct me if you'd like.
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You look at the window but see nothing. You're not so sure if it's because it's raining cats and dogs outside and it's winding or if it's because you don't have your glasses on. Probably both.
You sit on your bed and put your glasses on. It's dark outside and you can hear a thunder, so you thank god it's Saturday, which means no work, which means no getting up. You slid under the covers again, removing your glasses. There's no meaning on waking up right now, there's no meaning on even getting up today. But of course, you'll have to. You promised, after all.
It's not like you are unhappy to be out of prison for three years now, but you really don't give a shit about celebrating it. There's another thing meaningless for you. But you'll do it. Because it makes her happy.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
When you got out of prison, you went to your mom's old apartment. It wasn't something marvelous, but it was yours. You didn't even consider trying to reach her, because you two weren't exactly on the best terms. She dumped you for the second time; she broke your heart again, even though she promised she'd never do it again. And it killed you inside, it destroyed every little piece of you that was still human, that still could feel something. And that time, you thought it wasn't fixable. But again, life surprised you.
She appeared on your place during a rainy day. You honestly thought about slamming the door on her face, but you couldn't. Not when she was staring at you guiltily, with teary blue eyes and her mouth forming an 'O'. And plus, she was all wet. But you didn't let her in at first. You didn't say anything, for a matter of fact. You just stared, unable to ask any of these questions you'd been planning to, unable to even yell at her.
"Nichols told me I could find you here." She says after a moment of silence. She's shaking. You're not sure if it's because she's nervous or because she's cold. "Can I come in?"
You sigh. Your mind is a blur right now, your chest is tightening. But you can't say no, so you give her room to come in. She offers you a half smile as she passes, but you don't smile back. You barely manage to close the door. She's staring at you, like if she's waiting for you to take the first step. But fuck her; she's the one who came to you. She should be saying something.
"I know I'm the last person you want to see right now." She says, taking a step closer. You take a step back. "Alex, I'm really sorry. I was a selfless bitch, and-"
"You broke my fucking heart. Again." You interrupt. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you come here? You know what, forget you know where I am. I want you to leave."
"Alex-"
"Now." You snap, ignoring her.
You wait for her to leave, but she doesn't. Instead, she crosses her arms and snorts, walking closer to you. She grabs your wrists and pulls you closer, forcing you to look inside her eyes. You see raindrops all over her face and you fight against the urge to wipe it away. She looks the same; but she isn't. Her eyes don't carry that naïve glow they used to anymore. She looks stronger, more stubborn, if that's possible, and even more beautiful than she was the last time you saw her.
"I'm not here to fight, Alex." She tells you, slowly letting go of your wrists. "I just want to talk to you. Please."
"Your husband won't like it." You answer disgustedly. "Does he even know you are here, Piper?"
"I'm not – Larry isn't my husband. I never got married. I just – I couldn't."
Well, that's new. Your heart warms a little bit as you hear that. Not enough to not be fucking pissed off with her, but enough to listen. But you still take a step back. She's just too close right now. "I'm listening." You inform her, crossing your arms. She sighs in relief, her eyes coming back to yours.
"I'm so sorry. I really am." She says softly. "I just – I was scared, Al. I loved you both at the time, even loved you more, but I was afraid you'd end up back into the cartel. I didn't – I don't want to go through this again, so I chose him. It didn't work out, of course, but –"
"I told you." You hissed.
"What?" You watch as she frowns, which only made you angrier.
"I said I told you!" You yell at her, even though you didn't mean to. She was making you lose your mind. As usual. "I fucking promised you that I'd never do that again."
"Yeah, I know. Just like when you promised that you weren't the one who turned me in." She snaps, and fuck, she had a point.
"That was different. I wanted you to like me." You mumble, looking away.
"Yeah, that's my point. What if you came back? Would you tell me? Or would you hide it from me because you wanted me to like you?" She was closer now. You didn't even notice her approaching. Hell, maybe she didn't even notice she was way too close. "Don't blame this on me, Alex."
"So we should blame it on me?" You huffed, taking another step back. That girl really had no sense of space.
"No, fuck." She sighs, running a hand through her blonde hair. You notice it looks a little bit longer than she used to wear it. "That's not what I'm saying. Look, I know I hurt you, okay? I know you're mad, and I'm not saying you shouldn't be. I also know I'm a shitty, mean and cruel bitch for doing that to you, but you lied to me. I freaked out, Al."
"You could have said something." You say. Shit, why do you look so defensive? You're not the one who's wrong. "I told you that you could live with him. You could have a normal, boring life, with a family and whatever you wanted to, but you chose me. You said you'd be with me, not him."
"I know what I said." She shakes her head. "I'll apologize to you my whole life if I have to."
"Why are you here?" You whisper. Great, now you look weak too. You can't help but feel like a piece of shit.
"I want to be your friend." She took a step closer, but this time, you don't take another back. You let her approach you and rub your arm gently. It feels good to be touched by her once again. "Can you give me a chance, Alex? We could go out for a cup of coffee or whatever. I just – I feel like we need to be in each other's life once again. I miss you."
Your throat aches, and you suddenly feel out of air. Your whole body aches; your head is spinning. You don't see anything else, nothing but her. So when she moves to hug you, you don't hesitate. You let her wrap her arms around you and you rest your chin above her head, closing your eyes. And that's when you realize she's still wet. And shaking. And cold.
"Shit Piper." You gasp. You suddenly feel like a horrible person for leaving her like that. She could get sick after all. "I- fuck, let me get you a towel." You run to your bathroom and grab the first dry towel you see. You go back to the living room and wrap it around her, hoping it would warm her up. "I'm sorry." You whisper.
"It's okay."
"I'm a heartless, egocentric and shitty bitch." You say. She frowns, and you smile a little bit. "Aren't we being honest? And I'm also a terrible host."
"That you are." She jokes, and you both laugh. It had been some time since you had laugh and meant it. It felt good to do it again. "I should get going. I have some things to do later on." She says after a while. You wanted to ask her to stay, but you don't. You still can't. "So, can we try? I mean, being friends?" She's biting her lower lip and looking nervously at you. She reminds you of a teenager boy asking a pretty girl to go to the prom with him.
"Yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess so." You coo. "There, uh – there's this place down the street. We could go and grab some coffee."
"I think I know what place you're talking about." She answers. "So, tomorrow at four?"
"Yeah, that's good for me."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
The friendship doesn't work out quite well. At the whole time, you were right about something: you two were and will never be friends.
After the first meeting, she ends up at your place, and you fuck her at the balcony. It repeats a few more times, alternating at your place and hers, but you never just go out in a friendly way. You need her, and she needs you. So, after the twentieth time you do that, you ask her out. Properly on a date, I mean.
She says yes, and you book a table at a nice restaurant, close to the Central Park. You two hold hands, exchange some looks, smile at each other and kiss like a teen couple. You take her for a walk, tell her about your new job at a company, and hear her babbling about maybe investing on some business with her friend. She tells you she's not talking to her parents anymore, not since she dumped Larry. She tells you about how mad Polly got at her at first, but then she understood. It wasn't what she wanted, to be with Larry. She wanted you, and knowing that made you feel like you were the most special person in the world. You haven't felt like that in a while.
At the end of the night, she goes to your apartment. You don't do anything, just lay there with her, cuddling and giggling about some bullshit you two made up. She turns around, facing you. She's wearing your old shirt, and it makes her seem tiny. You smile, leaning in and kissing her.
"I heart you." You whisper, your thumb caressing her cheek.
"You heart me?" She asks and you giggle, mumbling 'yeah'. "What is that? Is that like, 'I love you' for pussies?" You laugh, rolling your eyes.
"Say 'pussy' again." You smile, and she smiles back.
"I heart you too."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
You two start dating no longer after. And not even longer after, she moves in with you. You two didn't have much at the beginning, but it was enough. You had a place to call yours, and it was much more that you could ask for. But after a while, it started to seem a little too small. So you two start to work extra hours, cutting some privileges you had before and start saving money for a house. You grow on the company, and her business finally seems to be launching. So, a while after, you get a nice house, at a nice neighborhood.
Some of the girls you two met in jail got out, and you feel like you have a family again. You and Nichols go out often, and now even Morello, who seems to be more stable, is frequenting your house. You even spent Christmas together with some of the girls. And despite what people say, you are proud of having a family of ex-prisoners. It's kind of funny.
You end up marrying her. You just can't stand calling her 'girlfriend'. It bothers you, and you noticed it bothered her too. So you take her to dinner at the same place you two had your first proper date and take her for a walk. You propose in the middle of Central Park, and you don't give a fuck for anyone who looks at you disgusted. You just notice her. She's all that always mattered anyway.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Morning." She says. You turn around smiling, pressing a kiss on her forehead.
"Morning, baby." You answer feeling your mood lightening up. She stiffs closer to you, her five month bump pressing against your stomach. You never thought you'd be a parent either, but that's another thing she made you want to. If anyone told you ten years ago that you'd have a normal job, a home at a nice neighborhood, a wife and a kid, you would laugh. And the ex-prisoners family too. No, you probably would've believed that part.
"Your voice is sexy." She mumbles, making you laugh. "Happy three years out of prison, Al."
"Thanks." You answer. She hums, leaning in and kissing you. You kiss her back, and you know you'll never ever get tired of it. Her lips have the best taste ever, so why would you ever want to give up on it? You run your fingers through her hair, and it's good to know you can do it whenever you want.
"Nicky is coming here today." She tells you. You nod, but don't even try to move. "Come on, Alex. We can't lie in bed the whole day." And then, she pouts. "You promised."
"I know, I know." You quickly answer. Piper's pout is one of the things that destroy you the most. Apart from her crying. "It's 7 a.m., Pipes. We don't have to get up right now." She looks at the clock and then slid under the covers again, snuggling with you. "It's too early."
"Too early." She agrees. "Hey, Alex? I heart you."
You smile. That's something you never tried to change. Not because you have struggles with saying 'I love you', but 'I heart you' sounded much better. Sounded much more meaningful to both of you. And plus, it was different. You two were never an odd couple anyway.
"I know." You kiss her hair, wrapping her arms around her. "I heart you too."