Draco honestly never thought he'd be back here, sitting in the Great Hall under floating candles, surrounded by laughing witches and wizards, all waiting for the Headmistress's address to start the year- and dinner. There was a comforting normalcy to it all, aside from the fact that Draco no longer sat surrounded by admiring Slytherins, hanging off his every word. Ever since the end of the War, he'd been distant with his house.
At first he thought they'd shun him for his family's betrayal, but found that very few were actually in the cause voluntarily. Most were in because of their parents forcing them (like in his case) or because they and their family had no choice. When Draco returned to school most of his house were polite or completely indifferent to him. However Draco had no time for conversation, despite little hostilities, he still felt out of place and guilty at Hogwarts. He was just here to complete his schooling so he could re-enter the world.
"Hey Malfoy- didn't expect to see you here- shouldn't you be sniveling from the Ministry with the rest of your folks?"
"Shut it Zabini," Blaise, Pansy and a few others, were the ones that would openly threaten him.
Draco groaned internally as he felt Blaise slide up next to him, "What do you want?"
Blaise snickered, "Well, I just wanted to know what makes you think you can continue to associate with us after that display in the War? Shouldn't you be cuddled up next to the Golden Boy and his fan club?"
Draco's heart skipped a beat, "Oh fuck off!" He got up in a huff and elbowed his way out the Great Hall- he'd quite lost his appetite.
"Oof!" Draco found himself sprawled on the ground in a tangle of limbs, with everyone in a ten metre radius laughing at him. Even though his house understood his predicament- as many of them were in the same- the rest of the school didn't know what he'd gone through or why he'd gone through with it. They didn't understand that once your family were Death Eaters, even if it was just one or two people, everyone was at risk unless they bowed to the Dark Lord. They didn't understood that he had had ino choice./i
None of the Wizarding World could empathise and they never would, but he was past caring at this point.
"Geez Malfoy- didn't see you there!" Draco paused and looked up, "Here- let me help."
Draco's heart pounded in his chest. He never understood how Harry could go around with such an unguarded expression, handing out kindnesses without consequence. He let his eyes take in the Hero of the Wizarding World- he really did clean up nicely even after coming back from the dead. The boy slipped his hand into the others, and his heart gave a mournful thump. This really wasn't helping his resolve to keep his head down.
Harry's hand was warm and calloused and- he blushed- so nice and big. Draco could feel the other boy's body heat radiating towards him and he couldn't help but lean towards Harry as he was pulled up.
"Thanks Potter..."
Draco couldn't look up, he just didn't trust himself not to get...distracted. Instead he settled for looking down at his shoes and pulling at his robes. He must look like such a fool, practically shaking under Harry's firm gaze.
"Hey Malfoy-" Draco gasped as he felt Harry's hand on his shoulder, he instinctively flicked it away and hurried out.
"Just let the git be Harry," He heard Weasley say to his back, but he kept walking. His aim was to get down to the Dungeons before the rest of his house and put a locking charm on his curtains. Draco hadn't ever been touched by Harry...in real life at least. He shuddered and cast a silencing charm on for good measure.
"Today we will be creating the Draught of Living Death," Snape drawled, "This is an extremely dangerous potion that renders the drinker into a sleep comparable to death."
Potions was no longer segregated into houses because of so few students returning for eighth year. The classroom was dotted with not only Gryffindors and Slytherins, but Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs too. Everyone was excitedly catching up and filling each other in on their holidays. Draco would probably be bragging about something or other, instead, he yawned and rested his head on one hand. He sat all alone in the corner trying not to fall asleep- not like he had anyone to brag to.
"Would anyone care to tell me the name of the potion that is known to reverse the effects?"
The door flung open, revealing one flustered Harry Potter- late for class, "I'm sorry sir, the alarm charm I set didn't work and-"
"Ah Mr Potter here," Snape smiled like a snake, "has just volunteered."
Harry blinked in confusion and asked cautiously, "Volunteered for what?"
His peers were all clearly holding in giggles, Draco observed, as he flipped to the section on sleeping draughts. Even he bit back a smile himself; Harry had no idea how many bad moods he'd taken Draco out of. "Wiggenweld Potion is a healing potion capable of waking someone from a magically induced sleep."
"10 points from Gryffindor for tardiness."
Draco was engrossed in reading about the Valerian Root, so he practically jumped out of his skin when he felt someone's breath on his neck.
"Um Malfoy...?"
Of course it was Harry Freaking Potter. He sat on his hands to hide their shaking.
"What is it Potter?" Draco inquired of his textbook.
"Er, could you tell me what we're doing? Since we're partners and all."
Draco looked up at that, into sparkling emerald eyes. He felt his ears go red, "What are you talking about Potter?" Draco whispered distractedly; he'd never really gotten the chance to look at Harry's eyes. Draco had always been satisfied in calling them green, but they were a little bluer and a lot deeper than he'd thought. They were beautiful from afar, but dark and brooding up close; like the ocean. Harry had little oceans and Draco wanted them to enfold him.
"-and what was with Snape and the volunteering thing? Malfoy!" Harry woke him out of his reverie and Draco flushed; he'd been day dreaming about Potter's bloody eyes. Stupid bloody beautiful things.
Fuck.
"Uh he was just talking about the Draught of Living Death and it's antidote, Wiggenweld Potion," Harry was nodding in earnest and Draco bit his lip.
"Wait, what was that about us being partners Potter?"
"Oh! Er well I just assumed 'cause yours was the only bench empty."
"Yeah."
'There'll always be an empty spot for you Harry,' Draco thought bitterly and surveyed the class he used to have free reign of.
"So, um, i'll get the ingredients and you can set up the cauldron?"
"Yeah."
Harry gave Draco an encouraging smile then left for the supply cupboard. Draco's insides withered.
Draco Malfoy could not take much more of this. Harry was constantly leaning over him to check the text book, breathing down his neck as Draco added ingredients or inching closer to grab something. Draco was hot and bothered; his hands shook as he cut the Sopophorous bean.
"Here Malfoy, let me do that."
"It's fine Potter."
"Clearly. Your hands are shaking- you're gonna cut yourself. Let me help at least."
Harry put his big, warm hands over Draco's slim, dainty ones and guided them along the beans. Harry's chest was pressed against his back and his arms were around his sides; he could feel every tendon clench and un-clench. Draco could hear Harry's steady heartbeat, compared to his going a mile a minute. Harry blew tantalising breaths against his ear; Draco hyperventilated out through his nose. Every inch of his body burned and there was an aching hunger in the pit of his stomach. Draco closed his eyes.
Harry ran his hands up Draco's shirt, tweaking his nipples, Draco bit back a moan. "You like that, darling?" Draco nodded, letting out a whimper and trying desperately to keep the sounds in, "Don't hold back Draco sweetie." Harry licked down the shell of his ear all the way to his collarbone; then bit down hard, drawing blood.
"Aaahh!"
The warmth engulfing him suddenly disappeared, leaving Draco cold, hard and sweaty. He could feel everyone's eyes on him and he gulped- he'd fucking moaned out loud for Merlin's sake!
"Mr Malfoy if you would be so kind as to not interrupt my class."
Draco nodded, thankful that that got everyone back to work. His godfather gave him a concerned look, Draco just shook his head.
"Hey Malfoy, are you okay? What was that?"
Draco sighed; almost everyone, "It was nothing Potter."
"But you...was I holding too tightly?"
"Leave it alone," Draco gritted his teeth.
"Did I cut you with the knife?"
Harry reached out for Draco's hands- he flinched away. He couldn't let Harry touch him. He'd find out.
"Malfoy. I cut you, didn't I?"
"Drop it Potter, for Merlin's sake! Can't you just leave things alone? Not everyone needs your help; not everyone needs you to save them!"
Harry dropped his jaw in shock and his eyes flickered with hurt, then he sighed. Draco opened his mouth to apologise- he didn't mean for it to come out like that- but Harry was already back to work. The rest of the lesson passed in a tense silence.
Draco thought about how desperately he wanted Harry; wanted his hands all over him, his smile, his attention, his lips on his.
Draco thought about how disappointed his father would be.
It was the somber mood of the place that drew Draco towards the library in the dead of the night. He'd been unable to sleep, all because he'd had that nightmare again. Even in Azkaban his father could still get to him. Draco kicked the wall in frustration; why did he have to be so weak? He blinked back angry tears as the nightmare came flooding back.
He had no idea where he was, he had only the feeling of being trapped like an animal. His father sat calmly in an elegant chair, it was an unfortunately familiar scene. Lucius sneered at him, "Malfoy's aren't weak Draco; don't you dare tarnish my image." The man stood and his looming figure seemed to rise to the ceiling. Draco shrank back and hit the wall. "How dare you betray me and everything I've worked for?" His father wasn't shouting, but his voice echoed off the walls and came back at Draco with double force. "It is you who have failed, you who have crossed your family and you who have fraternised with the enemy. It is you who deserves this cell in Azkaban." Draco's hands grasped at the wall in desperation, he couldn't breath and he felt like he was dying. Lucius gave a maniacal grin that split his face, "And you know it, don't you?"
The older man reached out and gripped Draco's shoulders painfully, turning him to face a mirror. "Blood will always prevail, Draco," His father finished, gripping his forearm, where The Dark Mark pulsed menacingly. White noise filled the room, which now revealed itself as a dark, cramped prison cell. Dementors floated outside the door, it was cold and a numbness spread throughout him. Draco looked up. In the mirror he saw himself, but much older. He looked crazed and animalistic; so thin he was barely there. Tattered prison robes hung off his body, and empty hollow eyes stared back at him. Draco screamed.
It took a moment for him to realise he was curled up on the floor. Draco got up quickly, embarrassed, despite the lack of an audience. He resolved to be in and out as quickly as possible, he didn't like how dark it was...Draco shuddered. He'd completely forgotten what it was he was looking for- Arithmancy book maybe? There was a post-holidays exam Vector always sprung on them. Draco turned the corner into the restricted section and gasped in shock. Books were strewn all over the floor, open at random pages, in crumpled heaps.
It wasn't the scene in particular that had Draco curious, but the fact that all these books were on Dark Magic. The young wizard crept forward and cautiously lifted a book, but dropped it like fire almost immediately. Draco could feel his blood boil in response to the utter power held between the pages."Blood will always prevail."
Draco stopped. He swore he could hear voices; not his father's. He took out his wand and hurried towards the sound, "Lumos."
Nothing. Merlin's beard he was bonkers.
Bang!
The boy's eyes lit up excitedly- that was definitely a door closing and...running feet! Draco took off running, "Nox," He wanted to be as inconspicuous as one can be whilst sprinting down a hallway. He flew down the stairs. Were they headed for the Astronomy Tower? They'd be trapped there. He slowed to catch his breath. Lungs burning and adrenaline pumping through his veins; Draco felt alive.
He continued to jog down the hallway in high spirits, then broke into a sprint at the sound of foot steps behind him. They must've came back around, he got his wand ready, then stopped. What was he doing? Draco realised he had no idea what he was going to do if he caught up to them. He was no brave hero. He sighed- the foot steps were gone and anyway, it's not like anyone would listen to him. There was no one left to care about his late night endeavours.
He started to head back down to the dungeons; all that running had him pretty exhausted.
"Salazar."
The portrait didn't budge.
"Salazar."
Draco groaned. He couldn't fucking believe this. Those two must've swapped the password on the notification board. Again. He threaded his fingers through his platinum locks and yanked, willing the tears to stop. It was so unfair. He just wanted it to stop; he wanted to sleep and never wake up because all he had to wake up to was this. Then again, his sleep was plagued too. Draco sobbed. It was completely and utterly unfair that all he wanted right now, was to curl up in Harry's warm embraced and kiss his perfect mouth forever. Draco's heart ached.
"Draco Malfoy."
Said boy groaned in his sleep, turning over and hitting something cold. He shifted uncomfortably.
"Malfoy," He was shaken gently, "Get up."
Roused from his sleep, Draco rubbed his eyes, gaped and rubbed them again. Clearly his mind had found new ways to taunt him; conjuring up Harry Potter in his room. He smiled contently and groped around for his dressing gown. Ah yes- that's right. He couldn't go back to his dorm last night on account of him having the most pleasant house mates that ever did wave a wand.
"Malfoy; care to tell me why you're sleeping in the middle of the hallway?"
"If you're willing to tell me what you're doing sneaking around Hogwarts at dawn, Potter?"
Harry pursed his lips and walked off. Draco, after a moment, scrambled up and stumbled after him.
"Where are you running off to?" He asked, matching Harry's stride. Harry ignored him and continued up towards the seventh floor, past a very familiar portrait.
"What..."
Draco followed Harry into the room. This time, it was a quaint little sitting room. Harry plopped ungracefully down onto one of the floral armchairs. Draco perched on the edge of the red plush lounge and took in the cream wallpaper and wooden floors that were somehow so Potter-like, that Draco couldn't help but smile. He turned his head towards Harry when the boy cleared his throat.
"Well? We're alone now."
Draco's heart stopped and he stammered for words. If Harry planned on- he breathed feverishly- taking him. Ideally, he'd like a proper courtship first, but...he'd just have to take what he could get!
Harry, clearly misinterpreting his reaction for apprehension, exclaimed, "Oh sod off. I'm not going to hex you Malfoy- I'd like to think we're past that?" Harry raised an eyebrow and Draco nodded sheepishly; embarrassed by the direction his thoughts had gone. Definitely not those kind of wand fights.
"I know we haven't exactly been chummy with one another," Draco snorted at that, "But considering everything that's happened, I think we should start over. Wipe the slate clean- you know?"
Draco stared, bewildered. Harry held out his hand, "Truce?"
Draco looked from Harry, to the outstretched hand and back to Harry again, taking Harry's hand in his. Despite the tingles sent down to the base of his spine, Draco managed a nice firm handshake. Harry gave him a devilishly gorgeous lopsided grin; Draco swooned. So much for that.
"So. Why weren't you in your dorm Draco?"
'Draco...', Merlin that sounded positively sinful. He gulped, tightening his jaw, "Don't pry into my business. I'm not asking why you were out, so how about we leave it?"
He refused to tell Harry that he was locked out of his own common room; that was way too pitiful. Plus Harry's hero complex would get in the way and there'd be a big confrontation which would just make things worse.
"Alright then," Came Harry's response, and he launched into a story about the shoddy new seeker on the Bulgarian Quidditch team. Draco found that if they avoided personal topics, conversing with Harry was very enjoyable. He was funny and witty, and you could tell when he was talking about something he was passionate about by the way his eyes lit up, and...Merlin's beard! He sounded like a lovesick schoolgirl. Draco really had to stop doing that, the getting lost in Harry Potter thing. It was a fruitless obsession that would just continue to hurt him; he couldn't stay away.
"Well, we'd better get to class," Harry said, standing up. Draco rose with him, "Yeah."
The atmosphere had suddenly turned awkward. It was one thing to be open and friendly like this behind closed doors, but opening those doors was quite confronting.
Draco cursed under his breath as he realised he'd have to get his things from his dorm somehow. He'd just have to get the password from Snape.
"Harry Potter," Came a shout from down the hallway, "I've been looking for you all morning!"
Both boys looked up and Harry's face broke into a grin at the sight of a pretty young girl with bright red locks jogging towards him, "Sorry Ginny, just been talking with Draco here."
Harry plopped a kiss on her lips and Ginny smiled adoringly up at him, "Oh? Draco, is it?"
"Yep," Harry wrapped an arm around her waist protectively, "We've turned over a new leaf and called a truce you see."
Ginny raised an eyebrow disbelievingly, "Really?"
Harry nodded in response and gave her a look that said, 'please go along with this.'
After some intense staring, Ginny seemed to finally relent, "I guess that's a good idea," She smiled at Draco, but it seemed a bit forced, "Draco," She said in regard. Draco, however, felt sick to the stomach. It was as if someone had plunged a knife through his chest and twisted it. The feeling of an eternity of pointlessness washed over him and his breathing became laboured.
"Excuse me- I'm very sorry but-," He turned abruptly and rasped, "You'll have, have to excuse me."
Draco ran as fast and as far away as he could.
Draco cried himself to sleep most nights, and he never seemed to run out of tears. He'd never felt he could cry in front of anyone else- or at all really. His father had always said it was a sign of weakness and his mother never seemed to really pay enough attention to him to notice. So he'd (almost) always held them in. The tears would spill for his father, for the family he wished he had, for how things are, for how they used to be, and for the aching hole in his heart begging to be filled with green eyes and black hair. Then, after a while, Draco would be tired enough to crash. It was quite pathetic really.
Tonight, for some reason, they wouldn't stop. Probably something to do with Hogwarts and his recently close proximity to Harry. He couldn't just hide away and wallow in self pity- which is what he'd been doing since the end of the war- Draco had been force to face the Wizarding World again. A world that hated him, his kind and everything they'd stood for; no amount of apologies would erase his past.
Harry seemed to think Draco worth redemption. It really tore Draco apart; the hope Harry made him feel. It made it harder to get over the fact that nothing would come of Draco's pining. Draco sobbed and rubbed the wet splotches off his face. Harry wanted to give Draco a second chance at friendship. Draco wanted so much more. Draco wanted desperately and incessantly. He felt his body grow hot at the thought of Harry Potter- his heart beat erratically. Draco fantasied about Harry's lips; he loved how they always managed to carry a smile. Draco imagined they were his- peppering kisses all over his stomach. His fingers stroked up and down his torso. Harry left wet kissed on his neck and collarbones too. Draco gasped as the other boy's mouth moved gently along his cheekbones. Draco had broke into a sweat; Harry's lips traveled lower, 'Such a good boy, Draco, getting so worked up just for me.' Harry's beautiful mouth wrapped around...around his...
Draco groaned, slipped his hand into his pants and rutted against it, but he still wasn't satisfied. His clothes were too tight- Harry needed to touch him everywhere. He pulled himself off to images of his cock stuffed into Harry's mouth, hitting the back of his throat. Harry cupped his sack and licked his head. Draco was slowly losing himself.
"Harry," Draco called breathlessly, "Touch, m-more...oh!"
Harry smiled around his dick and Draco almost came then and there, 'Anything for you my darling Draco.' Draco whimpered but Harry just grinned and licked a line down the underside of his dick. Draco arched up into Harry's touch as his fingers pushed underneath his balls and caressed the skin there. Harry's victim opened his mouth in a silent scream at the feel of rough fingers probing his hole, 'I love you so much Draco,' Hot tears poured down his face despite his lovers words. Harry kissed his forehead affectionately, 'So, so much.'
Draco's semen spilled all over his stomach but he was bawling, despite the euphoric feeling of climaxing.
Draco woke up feeling uncomfortably sticky and felt his face grow hot as he remembered the reason. Refusing to dwell on it, he quickly showered and changed into his school robes. He was currently looking for his potions essay- the search was quickly becoming futile, however.
"Hurrah!" He produced the slightly tattered piece of parchment from the top of his canopy; he strangely had no recollection of putting it there. Draco unrolled it so he could smooth it out and his breath caught in his throat.
Enemies of the Heir, Beware.
Draco's throat went dry- it was written in red. On closer examination it turned out to be merely red ink, but still, one of them was clearly trying to prove a point. He refused to react to them. If he went and told anyone they'd just taunt him more. The boy clenched his fist in frustration, they'd ruined his homework and now he had nothing to hand in; Snape would be so furious. Draco groaned, he'd have to go out there now, and possibly see them.
He opened the door bravely; they'll be too busy to bother him.
"Draco Malfoy," Crooned a shrill voice.
Guess not.
Draco tilted his chin up and looked over their heads, walking determinedly to the portrait. Someone yanked his head around. Pansy.
"Don't ignore me you blood traitor."
For the millionth time, he regretted every spiteful word he'd ever said to anyone. Being on the receiving end really changed Draco's outlook. He knew it took a lot of work to be that hateful, but it had been his safety net in a way. If people feared, or even hated, him they'd not go near him or try to get close. When people got close to your heart they become a weakness, and weaknesses would break you. Weaknesses kill you. Draco didn't want a weakness, it was dangerous to carry such a thing around. Henceforth, it'd almost gotten him killed in his allegiance to Voldemort. He shuddered.
"Did you like my note Draco?" Pansy smirked evilly.
Draco smiled sarcastically,"It was touching."
Pansy glared and stalked off. Draco dusted off his robes and headed to breakfast quite contentedly, 'That was surprisingly unproblematic,' He thought blissfully.
Harry was just ten centimetres away from him- it was driving him mad. They were close enough so that Draco could here him occasionally force air out from his nose, Harry would do this whenever he was stuck. It was very endearing, but then again, almost everything about him was. Draco smiled ruefully, Merlin, he was such a desperate sap.
An elbow to his ribs pulled him out of his reverie, Harry gestured to their potions teacher, "Mr Malfoy," Snape snapped,"Your essay, if you please."
Merlin's balls he was screwed, "Well you see Professor-" He began.
"Don't worry Draco," Pansy waved a familiar roll of parchment in the air triumphantly, "You forgot this on your way out, so I took the liberty of bringing it for you."
Draco gritted his teeth, "How thoughtful," He seethed. Pansy just beamed at him, Draco grimaced as Snape snatched it out of her hand. His eyes scanned it briefly, "Mr Malfoy you will see me after class."
Draco swallowed, this wasn't going to end well.
Snape held up the offending paper, "What," He droned, "Is this exactly?"
"It's not what you think Professor!"
"The war is over Draco; you don't strike me as a petty person."
"I know and I'm not," He protested, "It was Pansy- why else would she be so happy about helping me? Everyone hates me anyway-"
Shit. He'd given it away.
"Draco-" His Godfather started.
He stood up quickly, "No. No. No. We're not turning this into a meeting about the piteous Draco Malfoy."
Snape open his mouth to intervene, but Draco pressed on, "I don't want some kind of intervention, I'm handling this perfectly on my own."
'Plus, I pretty much deserve every second of it,' He added sourly.
The potions master sighed and gave his godson a fond look, "I swore to your mother that'd I'd look after you and that I will."
"I'm a big boy now," Draco said more softly, "I can handle myself."
A silent agreement passed between them; their observation of one another was interrupted by a knock on the door. Snape straightened up, returning to his infamous monotone expression, "Ah yes, that'll be your new student."
Draco's head snapped back in Snape's direction, "Excuse me?"
The older man rolled his eyes as if it were obvious, "You're my best student, and he really does need the help," He said the last part with disdain.
"What?"
Draco was frantic, this was an absolute disaster. He almost jumped out of his skin when another knock echoed through room.
"Come in, Mr Potter."
Whilst waiting for his student, Draco had resorted to either biting his nails or repeatedly reading passages from 'Advanced Potion Making'. He was so nervous about being alone with Harry. Sure they'd had that chat last week, but that was spontaneous and didn't leave Draco to fret and worry about every possible outcome; even one where Harry sweeps him off his feet and takes them both on a romantic broomstick ride into the sunset.
Draco rested his chin in his hands and proceeded to day dream about romantic dates with the Saviour of the World.
Thud!
"Hey Draco, sorry I'm a little late," Draco scrambled to regain his composure and fight the blood traveling to his face- it's not like Harry could read his thoughts. Well, he could try, but Draco was well versed will Occlumency thanks to...unfavourable circumstances.
"Circumstances? Don't try to dodge the blame Draco, you chose to follow Him,"hissed a cold, paternal voice. Draco clenched his fists.
"Don't worry about it Potter-I mean-Harry," Draco corrected himself, loving the feel of Harry's name rolling off his tongue. He wanted to say it over and over- to shout it from the top of the school. However, he squashed down his giddiness and turned his attention to the task at hand. Harry had seated himself on a seat next to him (so deliciously close- Draco could barely breath), with a roll of parchment, self-inking quill and an expectant look for his tutor. Harry cleared his throat and Draco realised he was staring.
"Er...right! Um," he flipped through his textbook, "Draught of Living Death!"
"We've done that Draco," Harry smirked.
"Shut up- I knew that. We're doing some revision of N.E.W.T potions!" he countered excitedly.
Harry's smile changed, and it made Draco a little dizzy, "You really do love Potions, don't you?"
Draco stared, bemused, "Y-yeah I guess; it's nice to um...be able to create something. I can just grab some ingredients and make something useful and it kind of feels like compensation for, um, yeah...," he blinked back images of darkness, bright green light and so many bodies. So much blood.
"On your hands boy."
"Anyway," he pushed on, refusing to look at Harry, "What is the draught used for?"
Harry had a hand on his shoulder and Draco could almost feel his pity,"Draco, are you all right? Do you-"
"What is the use Harry? If you don't have an answer we'll have to move on," he said meaningfully.
Harry's hand slipped away and Draco felt cold, "It sends the drinker into a deathlike sleep," Harry answered dejectedly.
"Very good." he snapped, then almost slapped himself. If he wasn't careful he would ruin this relationship. Draco couldn't risk that- it was all he had with Harry. Peeking at his new friend in his peripheral vision, he saw a glum, idle face. Draco cursed his defensiveness- Harry was only trying to be nice and he'd gone and spat it in his face. Merlin, it was no wonder he'd never had and real friends! Frantically searching for a solution, he grinned at the next item on his list.
"Ah, Polyjuice Potion; you wouldn't know anything about that, would you Harry?" Draco smiled wryly.
"Of course not," the other boy deadpanned. The tension proved too much and the boys erupted in a fit of laughter. Draco was mesmerised by how carefree Harry's laughter was. The boy caught him staring, much to Draco's horror, but Harry only smiled back. It was gentle and, dare he hope, affectionate. He shook his head, coming back to his senses. Pfft- affection? For him? Yeah right. Draco grew uncomfortable and shifted away, the fact that he subconsciously moved closer to Harry dawning on him.
"You snort when you laugh," Harry remarked, in the sad tone of longing he himself used. Draco wasn't able to decipher what that meant due to a blood-curdling shriek. Harry was out the door in seconds- bloody hero instincts. Draco tried to ignore the nagging feeling and read through his notes, but surrendered with a groaned. 'Bloody Harry Potter,' he thought as he sprinted after him.
Draco found him circling a monstrous snake, surprisingly not alone. Longbottom was bleeding on the floor, lying motionless.
"What the hell is going on Harry?" He screeched urgently.
Harry looked up and grinned, "Well-" The ghastly reptile took this time to strike. It sunk it's fangs into Harry's shoulder and he cried out in pain. Draco was frantic as he watched Harry simultaneously try to grab his wand and push the beast off of him.He's going die. He's going to die! Draco was rooted to the spot and his heart felt icy. He willed himself to take action, but he was paralysed from utter terror.
"You're too much of coward to even save the one you love the most?"
His father had a point, and for once, it was vaguely helpful. It riled Draco up enough to dash foreword and draw his wand with a reckless adrenaline, "Deletrius!"
The scaly, writhing creature disintegrated in a cloud of black smoke. Draco rushed to Harry's side, "Oh Merlin Harry are you alright?"
Harry looked sickly pale and Draco was trying not to burst into tears- he needed to help Harry. He gingerly pulled down the collar of his newly reddened shirt, "Oh shit, oh shit, shit, shit."
There were two puncture marks that were oozing blood all over Harry's shoulder, the skin around it was bruised purple and blue, and black veins grew out like branches. Draco bit his lip. The boy in his arms winced- thank Merlin he was alive, "Harry?" he called hopefully, "Harry please be alright."
He only groaned in response, Draco buried his face in Harry's mop of dark hair and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, 'Okay,' he thought, taking another shaky breath of Harry, 'Okay, he just needed to take him to Madame Pomfrey and she would make him better. There was also the matter of Longbottom...Harry would want him to help.'
Draco sighed, "What are you doing to me?" he asked an unconscious Harry. He pointed his wand at Longbottom's unconscious body.
"Wingardium Leviosa."
Draco gingerly lifted Harry in his arms, his face was yellow and he was moaning in pain, Draco was on verge of breaking down. He didn't know what he'd do if Harry wasn't around. He was the reason Draco had come back to school, hoping for Harry's forgiveness and for some place in the hero's life; even if he could just have a small place in his heart, a tiny space that no one used- like a broom cupboard- his own heart would burst.
As soon as he'd entered the infirmary, Madame Pomfrey had taken both the injured and shooed Draco off. He'd been pacing outside ever since and it was all he could do not to hyperventilate, cry, throw up or all three. Harry Potter was going to die.
"It'll be all your fault, because you failed to react quick enough."
"Shut up."
"But you know that it's true Draco."
"Stop it," Draco pleaded.
"You know that Harry could never love a sniveling little boy like you, no matter what you do for him. You're too weak."
By now Draco was in fetal position, covering his ears, but it never made the voices go away, they were part of him. Inside his head where he couldn't hide.
"Stop it. Stop it please," he whispered over and over.
That's how Madame Pomfrey found him, curled up on the floor and talking to himself. She got him inside and avoided her inquiries about himself and instead, relayed to her the happenings of a few hours ago when Harry was attacked by a snake.
"But will he live? Is he all right?" Draco looked at her with wide, urgent eyes. Pomfrey gave a sympathetic smile, "Of course dear, do you have no faith in my abilities? Both boys are stable and just need some rest and medicine."
Draco blushed and mumbled, "Er yes, I wish Longbottom a steady recovery as well."
The old witch just looked at him with a knowing twinkle in her eye, "Well, I'll be off to bed dear, and you should be off too!" She gave him a wink and an allusive smile and Draco was left stammering- what was she on about? He ignored it and hurried to Harry's bedside. After hovering awkwardly for a while, he decided to pull up a chair (it's not like Harry could see him anyway). With that thought, he laced their fingers together and smiled to himself, absentmindedly stroking Harry's knuckles.
"You really scared the shit out of me, you know Harry? Don't do that again!"
Draco smiled fondly and ran his fingers through untidy tresses, "And you really should brush your hair- it's simply atrocious," he scolded.
"Lucky you don't have long hair like- like my father," he finished lamely. Could he? Draco sucked on his top lip and studied the sleeping boy. He was asleep, he couldn't hear anything and Draco really needed to get this out. He gripped Harry's hand tighter, anchoring himself.
"I know that your uncle put you under the stairs, starved you and made you a slave. I know that some father's beat their son's, abuse them or just leave them. And compared to that, it probably isn't that bad but," he took a deep breath, "I just want to tell you and I'm not brave enough to do it while you're awake because you'll think I'm weak and crazy."
Harry's face was relaxed and open, obviously because he was sleeping, but Draco felt like he was encouraging him, "My father was just...not there. That's not what I mean, uh, it was more like he was indifferent to me. Yeah, because I remember when I was younger I always did everything I could to make him proud- like any child- but he never seen do care. 'Father I topped my class! Father I look how fast I can fly! Father I got Outstanding on my Potions essay!' He never acknowledged me- when I did something right that is. Father was always there to point out what I couldn't do, what my weaknesses were," Draco brought Harry's hand to his cheek and rubbed it, quite forgetting where he was,"So I thought that if I joined Voldemort and fought for his cause, he'd finally take notice of something I did," he laughed bitterly, "You can guess how that turned out!"
Draco stared longingly, maybe if things had gone differently, Harry could share something about his upbringing and they could have a right old groan about crappy childhoods. He grinned, that made them sound like sour, old men.
"A-and now I hear him everywhere," Draco ventured, "Like he's infiltrated by conscious and his voice is just always in my ear. Especially when I'm feeling down..." Draco smiled lovingly, "You always make me happy though."
Harry's hand had been stroking his cheek the whole time, now Draco brought them to trail over his lips. He pressed kisses all over Harry's hand and brushed his mouth across his wrist. Draco yawned and fell asleep contentedly, gripping Harry's hand. He didn't dream that night.
A beautiful warmth simmered inside Draco's chest and he woke gently, granted, his back felt like it'd been ran over by a heard of centaurs. He froze at the foreign sound of soft, irregular snores. Blood. The snake. Harry...
The object of his infatuation roused from his sleep, more like he half regained consciousness- he didn't seem to know what was going on, "Mmm Draco?" Harry stretched out, displaying one very attractive abdomen.
"Y-yes?" Draco said fearfully. What if Harry was disgusted by his obvious attachment? Worse- what if he heard Draco's confessions?
Harry beckoned him closer with one hand and Draco obliged cautiously. The hand rested on the back of his neck, stroking it reverently and he was uncommonly soothed.
"Harry," he gasped, "what are you doing?"
Draco was struggling to keep his eyes open (and he for one wasn't half asleep), his breath coming out in short puffs. Harry ignored his questions and continued fawning him. The caresses moved upwards, to his cheek, and Draco leaned into in and practically purred. Harry's eyes were lidded, with lust, Draco imagined.
"Draco."
It was so low and heavy with emotion that Draco's heart clenched painfully; to have someone say his name like that. The feeling of being needed made Draco's eyes prick with tears. 'He's not even fully aware yet,' his mind reasoned. Then reason crashed and burned. Harry had one hand gripping his shoulder and was kissing him ferociously. He thought he broke down for a moment, then that he was dreaming, but his weren't that pleasant. So the velvety, wet mouth enclosing his was real? A moment of insecurity followed, 'Could Harry really want him?' The hot tongue fondling his lips erased his doubts and filled his mind with giddy fulfilment.
Draco leapt onto Harry's lap, slipped his tongue between his lips and stroked the other's hungrily. He knelt up and pulled at black locks to tilt Harry's head. Harry gasped and Draco tried to swallow it but was pushed onto his back. 'This was getting a little heated,' he thought excitedly, 'Hope Madame Pomfrey doesn't walk in.'
"What the fuck Malfoy?" Harry demanded, clearly awake and clearly unaware who had initiated the snogging. 'Fuck me; can't get a moments pleasure!' he lamented.
"Well? Are you going to explain yourself?"
"You started it Harry," he started as calmly as he could, "So I don't know why you're blaming me."
"You're lying! Why would I want to kiss you?"
That was like a blow to the chest, and Draco was finding it hard to breath, "What? B-but we- you-" he spluttered, feeling small. This wasn't happening. To dangle his greatest desire in from of him and let him have a glimpse of utopia. Only to tear it apart in front of his eyes...that was too much. Draco whimpered despairingly.
Harry seemed exasperated, but he refused to look at him, "I have a girlfriend Draco. I'd never feel anything for you."
"Ha-arry," blubbered Draco. His world had come crashing down, and it was the cruelest of falls. He'd been brought up so high by Harry's attention- his touch, his kiss- only to have his anchorage ripped away. It felt like drowning, and he might as well be. Draco turned on his heel and ran, outside. The walls of the castle felt suffocating and he needed fresh air. Choking, he stumbled through the grounds to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He clawed at his throat because he couldn't breathe but he honestly didn't know if he wanted to anymore. A shattered scream tore from his lungs and liquid poured from his eyes.
"You know that Harry could never love a sniveling little boy like you, no matter what you do for him. You're too weak."
The mess of a boy dry heaved against a tree. Draco leaned back on it and slid down, his legs too weak to support himself. His mouth was sour, his body was broken and he had a heart with nothing to beat for.
"You're too weak."
"Weak, weak, weak."
Draco rose robotically, latching to this mantra. He was so stupid; yet again his weaknesses had been his downfall. Love was a weakness and he wouldn't- didn't- feel it any longer. Draco wouldn't feel any longer.
"You will not be weak,"he commanded.