A Present for Lavi
Disclaimer: …no.
Sorry for the OOC-Lavi (mostly at first; I think it improves where there's plot). Here's his birthday present! Shorter than my usual fics, and probably bad, but hey - I wrote this in about five hours or so with breaks. Forgive me please? :)
On August 10, 1878, a screaming bundle of red hair and cuteness entered the world, and it was never the same again.
On August 10, 1897, said bundle of joy turned the laws of the universe on their heads with one simple request.
No one could have seen it coming, least of all the Black Order, the epicentre of the disturbance.
It all began one beautiful August morning, when the halls echoed with the joyful cries of one teenage boy. …Technically, it was closer to the afternoon, as his teacher, the elderly Bookman, had granted him a single day of rest and a gift of letting his apprentice sleep as long as he wished. The noise didn't begin until almost everyone was busy eating lunch, unaware of what was to come.
"It's my birthday! It's my birthdaaaaaaaay!" Lavi sang, out of tune, as he bounced through the halls of the new Black Order HQ. "It's a very special day for MEEEE!"
A few unsuspecting Finders were forced to cover their ears, wincing in pain as the boy… well, young man… twirled past them. Relatively new to the Order, they had not witnessed the events of the previous two birthdays. Despite being blessed with large quantities of maturity and the self-discipline to apply it when necessary, Lavi, more often than not, had other preferences. Namely, to act like a seven-year-old boy whenever possible.
"Hi Mister Scientist!" he called to a passing man wearing the white coat of a scientist; Lavi didn't know his name. "Do you know what day it is today?"
"What?"
"It's my BIRTHDAY!"
And, breaking into a fit of irrational giggles, Lavi sped off to the cafeteria to meet his friends, leaving behind a very confused scientist.
"Strange young man," he muttered before turning back the way he'd just come from – anything not to see Lavi today.
"Good morning,Lenalee, beansprout, Kro-chan, Miranda." Lavi slid into a seat next to Lenalee, who was sitting across the table from Allen. "Isn't it a beautiful day?"
"Happy birthday, Lavi," Lenalee said quickly. "It is… isn't it?"
The three other Exorcists dropped their cutlery and turned to face the birthday boy. "Happy birthday," Allen repeated, somewhat embarrassed that he hadn't remembered (despite Lavi dropping rather obvious hints for the past week). Miranda and Krory also added their best wishes, looking no less awkward.
"Thank you," Lavi said proudly, giving everyone a warm smile. Only Lenalee did not go back to eating breakfast at this point, the memories of previous years slowly finding their way into her consciousness. If they were any indication…
"So…" she began, unsure of how to avoid offending Lavi without making the question too subtle for the others, "Lavi… this is your first birthday with Allen-kun, Krory, and Miranda…"
Lavi nodded, beaming brightly.
"…and I was just wondering if they would perhaps like to…" Lenalee took a deep breath. "…hear about your last two special days?"
"Hmm…" Lavi frowned thoughtfully. "Are you sure it wouldn't be boring for them? It is my birthday, but…"
He really did have good intentions, but Lenalee desperately needed to warn the others in a polite manner. Thank goodness they were all here right now – well, except for Chaozii, but she suspected he wouldn't be a victim of Lavi's any time soon. "No, no, we'd love to hear about it! They were so interesting! Right, Allen-kun?"
Allen paused, a piece of mango halfway to his mouth? "Huh? Wha- OW!" For Lenalee had just kicked him under the table, unbeknownst to Lavi, and was now giving him the kind of look that told him to shut up and agree with her. "Oh… right, yes," he said with fake cheerfulness, forcing his lips into a wide grin, "sounds very interesting!"
Miranda nodded in agreement, having noticed Lenalee's glare and picked up on the cue. Krory, however, opened his mouth to disagree, but Lavi, encouraged by the other three, spoke first.
"If you insist." Nevertheless, he looked secretly happy. Already, he'd been given a wonderful gift! "It all started two years ago, when I turned seventeen…"
"The same age as Lenalee," Allen pointed out.
"Yeah… so anyway, first birthday in the Order and all. It felt so strange to be surrounded by this many people! Panda-jijii gave me the day off… usually does… and so I got to sleep in for the first time, spend a day relaxing, having fun…"
"Tell us about your presents," Lenalee said quickly.
"Oh yeah, the presents! Since I'm a Bookman, I never got anything that wasn't perishable – chocolate or some other kind of food – or small, like a book. Even though the Order wanted to give me something more, it felt really strange. So instead, I asked for an experience that I could keep as a memory."
"A party?" Krory asked. "Those are fun!"
Krory had never been to a party before he became an Exorcist.
"Yeah, Komui makes those every year no matter what. They're really fun, and Jeryy always cooks everyone's favourite food, and there are games, and-"
"But what was it you asked for again?" Lenalee interrupted, nudging him gently with her shoulder.
"What was it that year?" Lavi mused, chewing on his lower lip as he dug through the metaphorical mountains of memories in his mind. "Ah… yeah, that year, I wanted everyone to sing a song for me!"
"The birthday song," Lenalee reminded him.
"But no one did." Lavi's shoulders slumped dejectedly. "Well, okay, that's not true… you did, and Komui did, and some other people did, but not everyone."
"Sounds fun," Allen commented, shoving what had to be an entire peach into his mouth and discreetly spitting out the pit into his napkin a moment later. "I'd do that for you."
"And last year?" Lenalee prompted.
"Last year… ahaha… that didn't work out so well, either," Lavi admitted. "None of the ladies really wanted to let me hug them."
Lenalee squirmed awkwardly. "We all knew what you were thinking, that's all."
"That new nurse didn't." Lavi's mouth twitched into a lecherous grin. "And she had a figure like yours, Lenalee…"
"So this year, what are you asking for?" Lenalee quickly attempted to change the topic, although it took a few moments and a prod in the chest from Allen to snap Lavi out of his recollection. "I'm not going to flash my panties for you, just so you know."
"F-f-flash!?" Allen's jaw nearly hit the table. "If you ask Lenalee something like that…"
The sound of Allen's knuckles cracking was enough to make Lavi nearly jump out of his seat with fright. "No! Nothing like that!" he croaked, laughing nervously. "I'm not quite that bad."
"Yet." Allen looked unconvinced.
"Actually…" Lavi turned to look at Lenalee, who wore a similar expression to Allen's. "I was going to ask you for that birthday favour, Lenalee…"
Lenalee raised an eyebrow, motioning for him to continue.
"What I want this year is…" Lavi grinned mischievously. "A birthday kiss!"
Three other jaws hit the table as the sound of four chairs simultaneously scraping against the floor was heard.
"What?!" Lavi scowled at them. "Nice, guys. Really nice of you."
"We're sorry, Lavi," Lenalee told him, wringing her hands nervously. "It's just that… well, a kiss… to us… it's…"
"You wouldn't give me one, Lenalee? For my birthday?" When Lenalee shook her head, the boy looked crestfallen. "Not even on the cheek? I'll settle for that from you!"
"It's not that," she tried to tell him. "It's… well, I don't want to ruin your birthday for you…"
"It's a present! It's a good thing!"
"…but if nii-san saw…"
Oh. If Komui saw Lenalee giving Lavi the kind of presents he'd been asking for recently, he was one dead Bookman. Well, Lenalee may have been the prettiest girl in the Order, but that didn't mean he was out of options entirely. "Allen?"
Lavi had never seen the white-haired Exorcist so terrified since Komui had gotten on his case for… something; he hadn't bothered to ask what, but it couldn't have been coincidence that Allen's Innocence needed some 'fine-tuning' right after half the Order had found them sleeping on each other's shoulders. While holding hands.
"…No, I don't know any other women in the Order, Lavi! Sorry!"
"I wasn't asking that." Lavi leaned over the table and winked playfully, enjoying how the younger boy nearly burst into tears at the simple action. "How about it? Wanna give me a birthday kiss?"
And, for some strange reason, Allen's grey eyes darted between the Bookman apprentice and Lenalee multiple times before he shook his head fiercely. "No. Sorry."
"Why not?" Lavi contorted his features into a sad look, although internally he was having incredible fun watching Allen squirm. This almost made up for not getting a kiss from Lenalee!"
"W-well… you see… you… you're only supposed to kiss the person you l-like, right?" Allen stammered, gaze flickering between the two teenagers across the table from him.
"Yeah, and? You don't like me, Allen?!"
"N-no, I like you just fine! I-I mean… the person you… love and want to…"
"And?"
"A-and…" Allen dropped his eyes to look at his fingers, twisting nervously around one another in his panic. "And I don't w-want to with anyone… anyone else…"
"Oh…" This was an even better way to make Allen uncomfortable than by coming on to him! Of course, Lavi had no intention of scarring the poor boy for life, or even dragging this out to the point where he'd sustain any real emotional damage, so he'd only be able to ask one or two questions before the breaking point. It would be enough. "So you're saying you're in love, Allen? How cute!"
"I didn't say that! It isn't true!" The massive blush that had spread across Allen's face proved otherwise. None of the other Exorcists looked convinced. "B-but maybe… just a little…"
"Aww… hey, why don't you tell us who it is, Allen?" Lavi suggested, grin widening. "We'd love to help you out! Right, everyone?"
Miranda and Krory nodded eagerly; Lenalee gave a half-hearted bob of her head, eyes focused completely on Allen. The boy's neck had turned bright red by now, to Lavi's amusement, and the shade was intensifying under Lenalee's gaze. Of course, he already knew exactly who Allen was thinking of and why the cursed Exorcist was hesitant to explain, so perhaps it was time to change the subject. If Lenalee found out like this…
"It's okay, Allen, I'm just teasing you." Allen started to relax, only to be interrupted by Lavi's parting shot: "We all know already!"
"WHAT?! Even Lena-"
"So… Miranda?"
It was Miranda's turn to blush. "I think… Allen is right about only kissing the person you love," she murmured, hands knotting in the material of her skirt. "I'm sorry, Lavi…"
"No big deal," he told her with an accompanying wave of his hand. In all honesty, he wouldn't like to test the limits of Marie's incredible patience. "Kro-chan?"
"What's a kiss, Lavi?"
"…Okay, has anyone seen Klaud Nine around here recently?"
Lavi's quest for a birthday kiss even took him to a neighbouring town on the outskirts of London's suburbs. It was rumoured to be the preferred vacationing spot of many of the Order's female employees, particularly the young and attractive ones. So far, however, Lavi had not seen a single one roaming the streets. Were they all inside with their families… or their beaux?
Unluckily for the Order, a few of the Noah had decided to stop by. A restaurant in the town was famous for its cream puffs, and Road Kamelot had somehow managed to drag her extended family to lunch there. Possibly catching a glimpse of Allen was only a bonus.
Allen was nowhere to be seen, but she did spy someone else of interest… someone whose mind she knew as well as he did.
"Isn't that Bookman Junior over there?" she mused, nibbling on a puff delicately, to her adopted father's delight. "The one with the red hair."
"Who?" An odd thing for Tiki to say considering he'd met Lavi at least twice before.
"Lavi. He's an Exorcist." The remains of the puff were shoved into the little Noah's mouth in order for her to focus her attention on the teenager. "I've played with him before."
"Oh, a friend of yours?" Tricia cooed, following Road's gaze to the young man wandering the streets aimlessly. "That red-haired young man? Isn't he handsome…"
"Mmm," Road hummed in slight agreement. "Friend of Allen's."
"Ah, that kid." It seemed Tiki's memories had returned.
This was bad news for Sheril. Not only was this boy that had caught his daughter's attention incredibly good-looking, he was a friend of Allen Walker! Allen, whose name was spoken with affection on Road's part! A growing feeling of dread gnawed at his belly; this could not end up well.
Yet before he had a chance to warn his cute daughter to stay away, Road had hopped the café fence and was making her way over to the Exorcist. The elder Noah got to his feet hurriedly, intending to catch her before she reached him, but was stopped by the gentle presence of a hand on his arm.
"Let her go, dear," Tricia murmured to him. "You can't be looking over her shoulder forever, you know. We can watch from here."
"I don't… don't believe this," he hissed, but collapsed into his chair anyway. "With such a man!"
"He seems boring enough," Tiki commented, taking a long sip of water. "She had fun last time, anyway."
Sheril's cry of agony could be heard as far away as the HQ.
However, Road only gave it a moment of her attention on her way to greet the birthday boy.
"Hi there, Bookman," she chirped, rocking on her heels under the boy's nose.
It took Lavi a few seconds of looking around for the source of the voice before his head snapped downward. "Hi… Road…"
Perhaps the last person he'd expected to see, as well as one of the last he'd want to see, but it could have been worse: Komui after overhearing his proposition to Lenalee… Tiki… the Millennium Earl… Bookman reneging on Lavi's birthday vacation…
"How nice to see you today!" She smiled cheerfully at him, making Lavi unconsciously relax just a little; it didn't seem as if she had any ulterior motives for finding him, but then again… "How are you today?"
"Fine," he said stiffly, scanning the streets for anyone suspicious-looking. There! The café!
…and just when he'd thought it couldn't be worse, there was Tiki. Yet strangely enough, it was the other dark-haired man sitting at the table that was shooting glares that promised certain death at the Bookman… hmm… Tiki actually seemed to be paying him no attention at all.
"Oh, you see my family?" Road danced around to his front again. "We came here for lunch. The cream puffs at that café are soooo good…"
"Are they?" He'd heard it from Allen and Lenalee before, but didn't have the same sweet tooth to ever go and enjoy them himself. "Is that…"
"You thought I was here to hurt someone?" Road burst into a fit of giggles. "Nope! Just came for a snack and saw you here, and thought I'd say hi."
Lavi breathed a long sigh of relief; so he was safe, after all. In that case… "Hey, Road? Did ya know it's my birthday today?"
"Really?!" Road's eyes widened in delighted surprise, and she clapped her hands together happily. "But I don't have a present for you!"
"That's okay!" he reassured her. "I only ask for experiences anyway. …Good ones."
"Like…" She thought for a moment, sucking on the tip of her index finger as she did so. Lavi – and Sheril – couldn't help but think that, as creepy and sadistic as Road was, she was awfully cute. "If I gave you the dream of being able to sleep with fifty beautiful women?"
That sounded very appealing to Lavi at the moment, but he knew better than to trust his mind to Road. Oh… and wasn't it a little scary that a girl of her age could imagine such a thing?!
"Nah, that's all right," he assured her with more than a little regret in his voice. "Actually, what I've been asking for is something anyone can give – even if they haven't wanted to."
"That's terrible!" Road exclaimed, giving him a sympathetic look. "What is it?"
"A birthday-" And at that moment, Lavi remembered exactly who he was talking to: the girl who had kiss-attacked Allen after seeing him a grand total of twice. Either he'd be sorely rejected with the same excuse Allen and Miranda had used, or she'd waste no time in bouncing up and planting one on him.
"A birthday what?" Road tilted her head, leaning a little closer to Lavi's mouth.
"A…" Well, no harm in asking, right? If he got one, then there was another birthday wish accomplished. Besides, Road may have been a Noah, but she was also a cute girl within his desired age bracket. He couldn't do better with anyone except Lenalee! "A birthday kiss!"
"Ooooh! That sounds great!" Road rocked back and forth on her heels, unable to contain the smile that stretched the corners of her mouth. "So can I give you one?"
"Sure!" As long as she didn't try to mindfuck him, anyway.
"Okay, lean down then…"
Lavi could feel her hot breath on his lips when another face suddenly appeared in front of him, covering the much cuter one he'd been about to kiss.
"You…"
"Me?" he gulped. The man not only sounded furious, but looked as if he had an Exorcist to kill – and not because of the whole Noah vs. Exorcist thing. "Um… hi, sir, and who might-"
"Daddy!"
"What?!" Lavi gaped, pointing to the man with one quivering finger. "This is…"
"This is my father," Road explained to him before turning to Sheril. "Daddy… what are you doing here? Didn't Mommy ask you to leave us alone for a minute?"
"This… this boy… what were you doing to my precious daughter?!" Sheril wailed. He pulled Road behind him protectively, hands clenched tightly in anger at his sides. "You…"
"I'm sorry!" Lavi squeaked. Perfect… he'd met Road's father. The only thing that was worse than an overprotective boyfriend or brother was a father. Such figures had prevented him from being with many a woman in the past. "But you see, it's my birthday, and…"
It was a lame excuse, and he knew it. Somehow, though, a bit of Sheril's anger seemed to dissipate. Road took advantage of the moment to grab the back of his coat and pull him down to face her.
"Everything is all right now, okay? Let's go back to Mommy," she begged, turning on the charm full blast. As expected, her father melted at the gaze.
"Anything for my cute little daughter!"
And, just like that, the man forgot about Lavi and wandered back to the table with the younger Noah. Lavi stared at their retreating backs, shocked. Had this really just happened? He'd met Road, she'd nearly kissed him, and then her overprotective father had nearly-
A sudden movement caught his eye; Road had turned around and was mouthing something to him with an apologetic look on her face:
'Sorry! Maybe next time, okay?'
"Yeah," he muttered, nodding to her with more than a little disappointment, "next time."
Right now, he'd better get back to the Order before that father noticed him again – and decided to enlist Tiki's help in 'protecting his precious little daughter'. As soon as the family's attention was back on the cream puffs, Lavi made a hasty retreat down a side street.
Which reminded him of an earlier thought: what were Allen and Lenalee doing at a restaurant all alone, anyway?
At last, Lavi had gone through everyone remotely attractive in the Order, and no one had even come as close as Road to giving him a birthday kiss. The purple and pink hues of sunset had already begun to fade into darkness when Lavi finally collapsed on a convenient couch in a many-windowed hall with a long sigh. Perhaps he wouldn't get his wish this year…
A shadow fell across him, blocking the setting sun from his view. Lavi glanced upwards at the silhouette, squinting when the glare from the setting sun became too strong.
"Oi. Stupid rabbit."
Ah… and even if he hadn't been able to tell by the ponytail or the sword hilt jutting out from the figure's side, that would have given it away. "Hi, Kanda."
Kanda's eyes narrowed, although Lavi's eye still hadn't adjusted to the light to see this. "Che. What're you so miserable about?"
"I'm not miserable," Lavi told him, sounding quite miserable.
"Oh really." And then it hit Lavi: he hadn't called the older boy by his first name. No wonder Kanda, of all people, had figured out something was wrong. "You're lying."
"And you don't like that, right?" Lavi gave a wry smile and patted the material next to him. "Wanna have a seat, Yuu?"
"Che." To his surprise, Kanda actually took him up on that offer and plonked himself down on the couch. "So…"
"Yeah?" Lavi couldn't help but widen that smile into a grin in spite of his gloom. "What is it, Yuu?"
"N-nothing. What made you think I had something to say, eh?!" Kanda hissed defensively. "Nothing."
"Uh-huh." Lavi knew better than to believe Kanda when he was like this. He'd known the older Exorcist for… huh… three years now, was it? Though even Allen would have seen right through him after only a year…
"'s not like I'd have anything to say, even if it is your birthday."
Lavi received the second core-shaking shock in that day. Kanda had remembered it was his birthday? And had come to congratulate him? Hell must have frozen over. No, scratch that – Hell had frozen over when Road had wanted a friendly chat with him, and then Satan had professed his undying love for Jesus just now. "Thank you, Yuu," he said with genuine gratitude. "For remembering… and for…"
"Shut up, stupid rabbit!" And was it just Lavi or was Kanda… blushing?! "Doesn't mean we're… friends or anything. CHE."
It would have been more convincing if Kanda had been able to meet his eye.
"Thank you," Lavi repeated, feeling the sadness replaced with a strange warmth that spread throughout his body. Kanda had remembered. Kanda had congratulated him. That wasn't something that happened every day, or every lifetime… and it actually felt pretty good. He'd been able to befriend someone with such a closed heart.
On any other day, he would have felt a chill at that thought. For anyone else, it would have been a great feat, but for him, a Bookman… he had no need of friends. Scratch that; he had no friends, and couldn't make any. To know he'd done something like this when it could only end in pain for both of them… Yet today, only for today, he didn't need to be a Bookman. He could just be a normal teenage boy, unless some world-changing event happened that he needed to be there for the recording.
Come to think of it, hadn't two of those already happened? Hmm.
At any rate, hearing Kanda say 'happy birthday', or the equivalent of it, was almost enough to totally chase away the pain he felt at not getting his birthday present of the year. Sure, Kanda hadn't kissed him or anything, but Kanda hadn't given him a present in the previous years, either. Then again, Lavi wasn't sure if this was better than having Kanda sing the Happy Birthday song to him; that would be equally priceless.
Although for some reason, a thought had popped into his mind… a strange idea… and while it seemed like an impossible feat to accomplish, well, it was worth a try… right?
"Hey, Yuu?" Lavi asked hesitantly. The older boy's head snapped around to face him, and he grunted in response. "Do you remember how I used to ask for presents every year? An experience?"
"Che. So what?"
He did.
Lavi took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to ask. If all went wrong, he could end up destroying that fragile relationship he'd only just now realised existed. Oh, and he could lose his hair, too. Or his head. That would be pretty bad as well.
"This year… I wanted a birthday kiss."
No response. It was looking good so far, but Lavi knew better than to keep his hopes up.
"But no one gave me one."
"Che."
Time for the big question. He'd need all the courage he could muster.
"So…" Lavi took a deep breath and said in a low, soft voice, "you… wouldn't want to… give me a present this year, huh, Yuu?"
He'd said it. So far, he was still alive, and Kanda was still sitting next to him. Any moment now…
"Whatever."
"Yeah, sorry, I don't know what I was- what?!"
"Whatever. Did you hear me or not, stupid rabbit?!"
Oh, he'd heard him all right. Lavi just wasn't sure he'd heard him properly. Had Kanda heard the question properly?
…no, no good in thinking that. He'd asked. Kanda said 'whatever'. If he hadn't heard the question, how was that Lavi's fault? Besides, if he repeated it again, Kanda might get angry and leave…
"R-really," Lavi stammered, sounding a bit like Allen had at lunch earlier that day. "So… Um…" For that matter, he was probably blushing a bit like Allen, too, and yet he couldn't understand why. Was it because of this awkward atmosphere, where neither had made a move yet? He'd better fix that. "So… do I start, or do you-"
"Che." And without warning, Kanda leaned forward and pressed his lips onto Lavi's.
Nope. He definitely hadn't misheard the question.
When Kanda pulled back a few moments later, a slightly dazed Lavi could have sworn the usual glare on the boy's face was slightly softer than usual. Even the tone of his voice made the usual critical words sound almost… affectionate?
"Fucking make up your mind, stupid rabbit. If you're going to do something, then do it."
"Yeah…" Lavi nodded as he watched Kanda get up and leave, touching his lips absentmindedly. "I… wait, hey Yuu!" he called, standing up quickly. "What-"
"Che!" Kanda responded over his shoulder. "Next time you're slow, I'll kill you!"
And with that, he was gone, leaving Lavi to… burst into a fit of giggles?
"Next time, huh?" he muttered to himself, exiting down the opposite end of the corridor from Kanda. "We'll see about that."
That one moment had made his birthday all the more better. He'd gotten his gift after all – and sure, it hadn't been from a gorgeous woman, but Kanda was still better than… well… almost anyone else in the Order. Moreover, it had emotional significance: Kanda had shown he cared.
Kanda. Kanda. That definitely didn't happen every day.
But it wasn't every day. It was Lavi's birthday, and he'd received the best present possible.
…and it only got better when, a few moments later, he conveniently stumbled across Allen and Lenalee making out in an empty broom closet. A present from Kanda and blackmail material?
What was next – a jealous Satan coming after him instead?
Best. Day. Ever.