My friend & I wrote this when we were bored. It's very crack-ish so be warned! Also all characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
-LATE NIGHT COOKOUT-
JACOB'S POV:
Here I am yet again sitting in this tree a couple houses away from Bella's like an idiot. Don't get me wrong she's my best friend and I would do anything to protect her, but he's in her room and I'm out here like a dumbass. What does he have that I don't? He's a totally fucking disgusting ass leach! Yeah he may have a beautiful crooked smile, crazy sexy hair and the most gorgeous amber eyes ever. AAAhh! Who am I kidding? Truthfully, the real reason I'm mad isn't because I like her. . .
It's because I like him.
Then my stomach started growling & I thought to myself, "Hmm… could be a good night for hotdogs; with ketchup, lots & lots of ketchup." What a perfect excuse to invite myself in. I then jumped down from my restful place in the tree. Unfortunately I did not land on my feet… but rather my face. "Damn, that hurt!" I screamed. I gently rubbed my aching face whilst walking to their door.
*Knock knock knock*
As the door slowly creaked open I soon found myself face to face with the enemy.
He took one look at me and nonchalantly asked, "What do you want?"
"Bella & I were supposed to have a cookout; wasn't expecting to see you here, well considering she never mentioned you."
Bella then crept out from around the corner. "Like what cookout?" she asked dumbfounded.
"The one we were talking about last week, remember?" I lied.
"Umm… like I totally don't remember that." She spoke in a ditzy tone.
"Wow. I see how it is, whatever bye." I said as I turned my back to leave.
"No, like don't go. We can still have a cookout. Like the only problem is I didn't go shopping yet. But like I can swing by like Wal-Mart real quick or something & get some things or like whatever." She added.
Edward then spoke up, "Okay… well I'm going with you."
"Edward, you don't have to like fucking escort me everywhere. I'll be fine, like it's only like a block away."
"Yeah, Edward. Don't be so damn paranoid." I said.
"Whatever mutt. & Fine love, I guess I'll stay." Edward retorted as he proceeded to kiss Bella, however she quickly turned her head.
I watched Bella as she pulled out of the drive way and I whispered silently to myself "Now let the fun begin."
I turned to Edward and said "Now that she's gone how about we have our own private cook out?" I then slowly placed my hands on his (unfortunately still clothed) chest and worked them down to his belt buckle.
A low pitched moan escaped from deep in Edward's throat and he asked "Jake, what are you doing?"
"Umm… heating up the grill. It's the only way to cook the hotdogs." I said as I hungrily licked my lips. Edward looked up and flashed me his infamous crooked smile and replied "Okay, but only if you promise to make it sizzle."
As I pushed Edward down on the couch I replied "Oh, I promise", and placed a rough kiss to his lips.
Almost instinctually I ripped off his shirt in one swift tug. As I slowly worked my way down his chest to his nether regions I left a long slobbery trail of drool, which I then worked my eager tongue all the way back up his hairy trail. Before I could even slip my tongue in his mouth, Edward took control.
He forcefully grabbed me by my wrists & threw me on the floor. "Get on your knees."
Naturally I followed his commands. I quickly undid his zipper on his pants & wasted no time pulling out his cock. To my amazement it was everything I had hoped & dreamed it would be. I got to work right away sucking his quickly hardening shaft.
-5 minutes later-
Edward was then fully erect. A proud 9 inches stood firmly in front of me & I was eager to take every inch. I then moaned to Edward, "I want you now." Edward wasted no time flipping me over & "working me open." ;-)
His tongue felt so moist, as he worked every muscle of my virgin hole. Without warning he jammed his throbbing manhood into my eager man hole. I screamed in pleasure every time he pounded into me, hitting my prostate with every thrust. "Ahhh I'm cuuuuuminggg!" I screamed whilst cumming on Bella's carpet. Edward soon followed by filling me to the brim with his seed. How peculiar, yet enjoyable the sensation was.
-5 more minutes later-
We both had our pants back on and I turned to Edward and said "Sorry about your shirt"
"That's okay. Bella likes me better without a shirt anyway" Edward replied.
"She's not the only one" I thought to myself. I then heard Bella's crusty ass car pull up in the drive way.
"Like ok guys I'm back" Bella wailed. "Sorry I like took so long. Like I didn't know if you wanted Oscar Meyer or Hebrew National."
I looked at her and said "That's okay, I already had my fill of this cookout" a smirk now forming on my face.
As I turned to leave I heard Bella scream, "Like EWW! Who spilled mayonnaise on my carpet!"
-FIN-
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