It was 7:30 pm again. Another night wasted on waiting on him returning home. He'd come up with some other bullshit excuse, I knew it. "Overtime hun, it cant be helped" or "board meeting, sorry". Not even a god damned call or text!
The bastard.
It pissed me off no end that he thought it completely fine to be as late as he wants, with no phone calls, and lies as to were he has been all night. Well, the second I'm late, the Spanish inquisition comes along to nag me to death.
Jake was going to get it tonight.
I began to pace the confines of the small, top floor apartment. Glancing at the tan leather sofa. And glaring at the seemingly 'happy' picture of Jacob and myself on some beach in Spain we had gone in the summer just passed. I felt like I was going to explode when I remembered that night
I was late august. The sun was setting over the beach we were staying at on the Costa Del Sol. We were celebrating my birthday a few weeks earlier then planned, because I would be at work on my actual birthday and my boss was not the kind of guy you would ask for a sick day let alone time off to have a birthday holiday. So Jake had decided to bring the two of us on a romantic two weeklong holiday. I had to be back at work on the 3rd September. I had a mere 6 days left until then. But, I refused to think of that until the day we left here, to head back to the wet, dreary confines of the Olympic Peninsula. Or to be more specific, Seattle. We were sat out on the terrace of the villa we had rented that overlooked our own private section of the beach. We were sat drinking sangria and having lovely paella that Jake had cooked. I hadn't known he could cook. There was lovely traditional Spanish music floating down to us from a party up the road and Jake looked at me with love filled eyes. It made my heart want to melt. I knew, in that exact moment, we were destined to be together. I loved him with everything I had to give him and we were perfect. That moment was perfect. My whole world then had been just perfectly beautiful, and simply unforgettable. After the meal, he had disappeared inside and was taking a little longer than I expected to re-appear back to me. So when he did, I was shocked at what stood before me. He was dressed in a plain, yet striking black tux. I instantly felt like I should have dressed up a little more. Other than my plain, white, flowing dress and tan sandals. With my hair merely having the bangs clipped back into a twist on at the back of my head. And having no make-up on made me feel even plainer. Following behind Jake were three people, two with guitars and one who had nothing. All dressed in similar attire to him. Before I could ask what was going on he held up one finger to me, and turned to the three strangers and motioned with his hand for them to begin playing. I recognised the song immediately. It was one of my favourites. Hero: Enrique Iglesias.He leaned down to my ear and whispered the first line in my ear
"Let me be your hero"
I felt one single tear slide down my face, and all he did was wipe it away and pull me into his arms and begin a safe slow dance with me.
The third male who had nothing had already begun singing the song in Spanish as the other two played a simple yet beautiful guitar version of the song to us as we danced into the night.
As the song begun to come to a close. I realised I was now crying onto Jakes shoulder. He simply breathed in deeply, inhaling my scent, and he lifted my chin from his shoulder and begun to kiss me deeply and passionately. I felt so whole. This night had been the most romantic I had ever experienced, and I hadn't know Jake was capable of such things.
Another song begun to play. This one I did not know, as it was In Spanish, but It was just as beautiful.
I promised myself I would never forget this moment.
As I snapped out of my flask back, I realised I was not full of rage, that in fact I had been crying at the memory. It had been little over seven months since I would have sworn he loved me. Now I felt unwanted and broken. Crouched in a fetal position by the door with my knees tucked tightly to my chest and ankles crossed. The soundless sobs were making my chest expand into the space that was occupied by my thighs.8:00pm… nothing
8:30… nothing turned into more nothing
9:00 Even more noting. The motherfu-
Knock, Knock, KnockFinally… I thought to myself.
I pulled myself up from the floor, and begun to wipe away the tears from my episode. I felt anger hit me as I opened the door. As if a wrecking ball had turned up to destroy my house. In this case the house was me and the wrecking ball, Jake.
"And would you like to tell me which its going to be tonight? Meeting? Overtime? Traffic? Hell, you work 30 minuets away Jake. You're supposed to finish at 5:30. so, prey do tell me, what's been keeping you occupied for the last ohh, lets see THREE AND A HALF HOURS?!"
I was raging… this was every night now for that past 3 months. Him coming home as and when he pleased. No real excuse. Never a phone call, or a simple text letting me know he wouldn't be back in time for me to make him dinner. Instead of letting me make it and watch it go cold and hard. How ironic. I suddenly thought
Never a 'sorry babe, ill make it up.' Always a cold shrug off and a grunt in my general direction as he sauntered over to the couch and flip on the T.V
He just shrugged and pushed past me, as I expected. I inhaled deeply staring wide eyed into the corridor were he was stood moments ago, before feeling the rage build up in my hands, balling them into fists and turning with a face like thunder to watch him carelessly plop onto the couch and flick onto some crappy football game.
"Hello, did you hear me? Were on earth have you been?" I waved my arm above my head to signal that, yes I am here. My tone was sharp, and pissed. His reply barely noticed it and was arrogant.
"Out with the guys"
Its amazing, that after three months of alternating between that one and many others, he still used it with the same tone, as if it were the first time he'd ever said it. Lying bastard my brain screamed at me
"You know, most people, over time think of different excuses Jacob Black." I spat his name with pure hate
"You, just use the same shity excuse every time. I'd appreciate it if you would think higher of me than to buy the unbelievable shit you come up with, you know, it would be nice to get a phone call, or text. But, I guess that's hard, since when you've got your dick in some whores ass, you can't, can you?"
I was absolutely pissed by this point. And I was now letting out over tree months of hate and disgust spill out into a verbal bomb.
No sooner than the words had left my mouth had he stood up and was towering over me with his hands gripping my shoulders with unbelievable force. His deep brown eyes burning into my face and him growling at me
" WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?"
"You heard," I spat back with what meant to be the same menace and volume, but my throat suddenly felt dry.
"I know you've probably been fucking some whore, what's her name Jakey-pie." I widened my eyes and wiggled my head from side to side in a taunting manor " HMMM? I'm not as thick as you think I am. I know you; I've lived with you for the past 4 years. I think I know you well enough to say you're cheating on me"
He squeezed my shoulders even harder. I knew there would be another bruise to hide there. But at this moment, I didn't really give a shit. He hated that name, and I used it with as much annoyance as I could muster. I hated the fact that my tear ducts were wired into my anger hormones also. It made me look week when I cried.
I continued my little rant at him with something id been saving for a moment like this
"Oh, and by the way. You got a message last week" his eyes were suddenly even more intense on mine. But before he could ask the all to predictable question, I continued
"A girl named Tanya called. Name ring any bells does it?" his eyes grew wider and I swear I saw his cheeks turn slightly pink. Caught with his pants down. HA! My brain screamed. I saw some emotion flicker across his face. Shame perhaps?
He dropped his arms and turned away. He begun to head to the bathroom, but I yelled at him again. Refusing to let him hide from me again
" DON'T YOU THINK YOUR GETTING AWAY FROM ME JACOB, YOU WILL FACE ME AND TEL ME WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN UP TO, YOU SNEAKY BASTARD. IF YOU DON'T COME CLEAN, THEM IM OUT OF HEAR!" I shouted with all I had. He turned back to me his face a eerie calm before snapping and turning hateful.
" I'm not telling you Isabella, because its nothing to do with you. You are a ugly whore and maybe you should go."
I knew he hadn't wanted me. But to here the words made it sting and hurt even more. Its at times like this I would remember the loving, kind and romantic Jacob and compare him with the lying, deceitful, hateful and anger ridden Jake I was presented with now
And then he snapped.
" I HATE YOU. TAKE YOUR SHIT, AND LEAVE. RUN BACK TO CHARLIE. LET HIM PROTECT YOU FROM THE BIG BAD WOLFS OF THE WORLD. GO FIND SOMEWERE TO ELSE TO LIVE; YOU'RE MAKING MY LIFE HELL. WAKING UP TO YOU EVERYMORNING. AT LEAST I GET A CURE FOR MY MORNING WOOD THAT WAY. FUCK OFF, I HATE YOU. I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE. YOU'RE A COLD BITCH BELLA. GET OUT OF MY LIFE. AND NEVER RETURN"
He spat it with so much hate and evil, which made me cry with sadness. Yes, I had loved him. Although I knew it was over, to hear him actually confirm it was dead, buried and not resurrecting, truly broke my heard. But that had hammered the final nail in the coffin for me.
I begun to cry like the baby I was and headed out the door. Not really sure were I was going until I was half way down the hall and beginning to slide down some wall. Tears now streaming down my face, my heart felt like it would fall out of my chest with the pain and the speed it was beating at. Once again I had found myself in the fetal position and hugged my knees even tighter to my rapidly convulsing chest and sobbed away into my knees as I rested my forehead on my knees. I felt the tears run out of my eyes and land on the denim of my jeans
I let the images of Jake and me flow freely though my mind. The good ones. And the bad ones.
The good ones consisting of the times we were on holiday, the times he told me he loved me and I had felt the emotion pouring out of him to me.
The bad ones. Well, they were enough to make anyone cringe. The name calling the abuse, mental as well as physical. Sure he could be nice to the untrained eye, but in the years I had lived with him since he and I were 18, he had diminished my self-confidence and self-respect to little more than anything bigger than a grain of rice. He would hit me sometimes, and I would allow myself to relish in the pain in that moment as I sat in the hallway, sobbing my heart out onto the cold tiled flooring.
Each hit and every bruise I could feel again. After a while, it begun to feel nice and I somehow managed to convince myself that this was my fault.
Had I been a better girlfriend and given him what he wanted of me I could have avoided this mess and we could be as happy as seven months ago, like on the Costa Del Sol.
I don't know how long I had been sat there for, but it had felt like days.
I had now found myself on my left hand side. Laid down with my head resting on my arms and fists balled up under me.
I felt someone approaching me, and I assumed that whoever it was would just freak and walk by as fast as they could to avoid contact with the apparent mental case on the top floor. But the body of the person slowed and lowered towards me and for some reason, I felt safer. I not only felt safer, but I felt something, something warm and tingly ignite within me that I had never felt before. My tears begun to subside a little. A hand was placed on my shoulder and a thumb begun to caress circles into my shoulder and neck. God it felt good. I didn't want it to stop
The next thing I heard could have been a figment of my imagination, and by god I hoped it wasn't. I could now smell him he had the most intoxicating scent I had ever smelt in my life. Cologne, Tar (I had never smoked, nor did I ever find smokers attractive, but I think I could make an exception here) and pure rugged, sexy manliness.
"Excuse me, miss, are you all right? Its 10:30. Shouldn't you be inside by now?" the voice itself alone was enough to stop the tears. Soft, velvety, sexy…
But still, my mind registered the first part of the comment and thought 'jeeeze, what a jackass! Are you ok, do you look ok? NO is the freaking answer..'
I internally was angry with myself for still having the ability to what appeared like after an hour and a half of sobbing my heart out, to be able to find a negative in a very brave strangers comment.
I sighed through my few remaining tears and looked up at him slowly through the blanket of hair that was covering my face.
He was truly the most breath taking man I had ever had the pleasure to lay eyes upon. His jawbones were perfectly formed, perfectly angular. Complimented perfectly by his cheekbones. Those sexy lips that were just asking to be kissed. His rather attractive copper, shabby looking sex hair that was very tempting. I had the strangest urge to just leap at him and run my hands through it. The slight stubble that stained his chin. His scent that was floating over me. But I saved the best until last. His mesmerizing green eyes. Jade, Emerald, and close to his iris, almost onyx. But was more of a very dark green than onyx. Probably only noticeable to those who stared at them. Oh god! I was staring into his eyes!
I felt even more of an ass after I realised that I probably not only looked like hell, but my mouth was hanging open at him.
Here was a seemingly flawless man, who was kind enough not only to stop by and ask someone who probably looked like the needed to be sectioned if they were 'ok'. And then there was me. The nut job that spent the last hour and a half on some shabby hallway of an old apartment block crying her eyes out over the ex she had just left after he had done the dirty on her.
I quickly broke the gaze. I lifted myself to a sitting position, pulled my knees closer to me and shifted my eyes to my knees again. Causing my hair to once again, slide over my face. Hiding it completely from this stranger
"No, I'm not fine, do I look f-fine" I hadn't meant for it to sound rude or offensive in any way, but that was how it came out, again, I felt like an ass. My voice was rough also from all of the crying.
"No, you really, don't. Would you like to maybe come back to mine. Clean yourself up a little? Or just calm down"
I looked back up at him from under my eyelashes and the curtain of hair. I got fed up of not being able to see him so lifted my head and pushed away my hair until it sat behind my ears.
I saw his face and he had a slight smile playing on his lips. Again, his voice full of care, emotion and was still the most sexiest thing I had ever heard, so I couldn't find it in me to pissed that he was throwing one of the most sexy half crooked smiles I had ever seen. I simply nodded, renders speechless by his apparent effortless at dazzling me into the next millennium. I felt his hand leave my shoulder as he stood up. The second his touch lessened I begun to crave it even more. I felt myself pout slightly.
Good god Bella! what is wrong with you? Putting over some guys touch you only just met. As I mentally chastised myself I looked back up at his face as I was sliding my hands down my thighs until they touched the floor. He seemed to be watching my hands sliding down my thighs. I think maybe he wanted to do that. Stop it NOW Bella…
My more awake conscious warned me. I had to listen to her more often.
I begun to push upwards when I noticed his right hand outstretched. I stared at it for a moment, confused as to what to do with it, before deciding that he was offering me a hand in getting up. Therefore, I decided to place my right had in his. The second we touched, I felt it again. That same tingly feeling flew through me. As I watched his eyes widen I was sure he could feel this inexplicable electricity fly thought him also. His hand in mine felt so right, so planned, like we were two jigsaw pieces being joined together with a seamless fit. At first I was scared to even blink, scared if I did, this kind, caring person would disappear into thin air. My saviour would vanish. But needs must, and I blinked. Much to my relief, he was still there when my eyes opened and I smiled at him. He smiled back.
He pulled me upright, my face mere inches from his. His sweet breath washed over me as he exhaled a slight giggle. He motioned with his hand the direction of his apartment accompanied with a rather tempting "My apartment is this way"