Three dwarves in America?
By Samhoku
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my way of rescuing these dwarves. I am not a fan-girl and I will not do a self insert for this one. I am pairing them with OCs I will make as I go. Most of my stories are made on a whim.
Comment: If you read my other stories, King Stick Up The Butt is a common name for Thorin. :p
Chapter.
Kili thought he was dead. He had felt a sharp pain, many sharp pains, actually. Then nothing, blackness. It gave way to a bright light then more darkness. Kili started to open his eyes and he heard voices. One of them was Thorin's. He was arguing with a female, apparently.
"I am a dwarf from Middle Earth! I was not this tall in middle earth, I insist you send me back. My nephews were being wounded mortally, I don't understand why we are here." Kili opened his eyes and saw that his uncle was facing off with a very strange looking women. She was very tall and was wearing all black clothes and had her hair spiked with piercings. Kili shook his head and moaned, thinking he must be having a nightmare.
The women put her hands on her hips and seemed to be giving Thorin a run for his money, "Look, dude. I have no doubt you aren't from here, but I can tell you now that you are not a dwarf. At 5ft 8 you are a human man. Comic-con or not."
Kili started to get up again, shaking his head. He tried to stand but his new height prohibited him. Kili gripped unto the furniture arm and tried to stand again. He instantly looked around for his brother. Fili was having the same problem as him, only Fili was taking baby steps forward, trying to figure this out. The massive change was too much to adjust to at once.
The women looked at them both and said, "Ah, you are awake. My name is DJ, your uncle calls me a Common Town Whore. I like to call him King Stick up the Butt." She watched them as they struggled, not offering any help, "And what are your names?"
Kili stood up to his new height, amazed by it. He was taller then DJ. DJ was 5ft 9, so that meant that Kili had to be 6ft. Kili offered his hand as he kept his one hand on the solid chair, "I am Kili. This is my twin brother Fili."
DJ watched as Fili fell over and struggled to regain his footing, "It wasn't my idea to bring you in the house. My cousin found you men and said that I had to watch you while she was at work. She is a photographer. Nature, actually. Not like you need to know that. I expect you to behave like gentlemen when she comes in. She will be home soon, you have been out for hours."
DJ walked away and listened to them struggle with a self satisfied smirk. She was ordered to help them, but she didn't want to. DJ heard her cousin's car drive up and she walked to the door to greet her.
The girl stumbled in with her camera around her neck and juggling some newly framed photographs. She almost collided with DJ and dropped the photos, "DJ!"
DJ caught the photos with ease and gave her cousin a grin, "Hi. The Thorin one is an idiot. May I kill him?"
"Um. No. I believe that is illegal."