Six Avengers in a five-seated car
"Guys, I'm bored." Tony complained. "We haven't done anything lately! C'mon, aren't we supposed to be the world's greatest superheroes?"
Natasha sighed, wishing for the thousand time that Tony didn't know her Skype username.
"Stark, it was barely a month ago we saved the world."
"How does this thing work?" A small window popped up next to Tony's, Steve apparently looking down at the keyboard and not noticing the people on the screen. Natasha raised her eyebrow at Tony, who grinned.
"You seriously gave him a computer?"
Steve looked up in surprise, staring at the screen and scowling.
"Agent Romanoff? Stark, you didn't tell me-"
"Hello, Captain. Took you long enough." Tony greeted the confused Steve.
"I didn't know how to use this computer, you can't blame me-"
"Seriously, you've been awake – I don't know how long, really. You should've started learning how to use technology by now, Ro-"
Natasha rolled her eyes, deciding to cut them off as she saw Steve's eyes harden and Tony still looking incredibly uninterested and bored.
"Stop it, guys. Save the bickering. Captain, don't worry, you don't need to do anything; Stark will take care of the technological part. Stark, I assume you've contacted the others too, since you never can keep your boredom to yourself?" She glared at him through the screen, but he just shrugged.
"What's up?" A new voice asked, and another face was added on the screen. Natasha's mouth twitched as she saw Clint's grumpy face.
"Barton." Tony said.
"Barton?" Steve's frown deepened. "This modernity is really… Strange."
"Man of iron?"
"You taught Thor how to use Skype?!" Clint asked, disbelieving. "Thor?!"
"I might have given him a computer." Tony said, shrugging halfheartedly.
"Are you trapped in this strange machinery, people?" Thor asked, and they all saw how the camera was turned as the computer was lifted up and shook. "How will I get you out of there?"
"No, put it down." Natasha said sourly. "Put it back… Right, just like that. Now, don't touch it. Let it be. We're not trapped, it's just a way to communicate."
Thor's face lit up in a slightly embarrassed smile and he scratched the back of his head.
"Oh. You humans use such strange ways to communicate."
"Tony? What's going on?"
"Hello, Bruce."
Bruce looked confused, his glasses tilted and sliding down his nose, and his hair messy.
"Looking good, Banner." Clint said, smiling slightly.
"Tony, we're in the same building, what-"
"You're on a different floor." Tony said, waving his hand dismissively. "Too exhausted to get up to your office."
Steve scowled, Natasha rolled her eyes, Clint and Thor looked uninterested and Bruce just looked a little lost.
"Anyway, now we're all here, let's get back to the point. I'm bored."
"Stark, what do you want us to do?" Steve sighed.
"I don't know. I don't have anything to do, it's boring." Tony complained.
"Why don't you go and play with Banner? Speak the weird language of human science and play with your huge screens and pictures?" Thor suggested.
"But that's not the same thing. I want to fight. My suits-"
"Let's go on a roadtrip."
Everybody paused and stared at Steve. The poor guy looked like it just dawned on him what he had suggested, and the color kind of drained from his face.
"No. No, I never said-"
"Yes!" Tony said happily. "Perfect! Maybe we'll find some aliens. Save the world and-"
"Stark, are you out of your mind?!"
"C'mon, it'll be fun! Help me out here, Bruce!"
"Tony, I don't think going on a roadtrip is-"
"What's a roadtrip?"
The arguing kept up for a few minutes, and no one really knew how it happened, but suddenly they were all going on a roadtrip the next Sunday.
"A car!" Thor thundered as he saw the big, black vehicle. It wasn't as flashy as Tony's other cars, but more fit for long drives. "I know what that is."
"Noticed." Tony said. "Nice, huh? I never use this one." He frowned slightly.
"Who's driving?" Clint huffed.
Everybody stared at each other.
"Okay, Rogers and Odinson are not possible options." Natasha said tiredly. "And we don't want Stark to drive, either."
"Hey!" Tony said, offended.
"Why not me? I can handle a car!" Thor boomed.
Steve only frowned slightly.
"That leaves me, Nat and Banner." Clint said solemnly.
"I'm not… It's gonna be stressful enough without sitting behind the wheel. I know I can control the other guy now, but I still don't want to take that risk." Bruce said and smiled tightly.
Many of them gave him sympathetic looks, and Tony opened his mouth to protest, but Natasha quickly said:
"I'll drive."
"You sure, Nat? It's not gonna be the nicest thing." Clint warned her.
"The lady can handle it." Tony said dismissively. "Could we get going now?"
"We're six people and there are only five seats, guys." Clint noted.
"It's going to be fine. We just have to squeeze us together a little." Thor said.
Natasha jumped in to the driver seat, Clint wordlessly taking the other front seat. Bruce sighed and climbed in to the car, finding himself pressed against the window as Steve, Tony and Thor followed his lead.
"This isn't very comfortable." Steve said through gritted teeth.
"Who said it was supposed to?" Tony wondered, taking off his sunglasses. "Bruce, you'll find the map in the slot on the car door. Hand me it?"
"I can handle the map!" Thor exclaimed. "We have maps in Asgard, too."
"…Sure." Bruce said reluctantly, letting the map pass on until it reached the god.
"Now everything's cleared up, we should get going. Agent Romanoff?" Steve said.
Natasha nodded and put her foot on the gas. Tony and Thor started chattering about the map, pointing and dragging their fingers across the paper while excitedly speaking about what road they should take.
"We're literally on the highway to hell." Clint muttered quietly enough for the only excited people not to hear.
"My apologies." Steve murmured, regretting his suggestion about going on a roadtrip.
Bruce smiled sympathetically, and Natasha shrugged halfheartedly.
"Are we going in the right direction?" Bruce asked worriedly and stared out through the window. It had started to get dark, and the sun was just by the horizon, making the sky orange and pink.
"Do you doubt my dealing with the map?" Thor said loudly, momentarily looking up to glare at Bruce, who avoided the god's eyes.
Clint turned around in his seat to look at Thor. His eyes landed on the map, and then he turned back again.
"You're holding the map upside-down." He stated tonelessly.
Thor scowled and twisted the map. Tony silently helped him.
"Where are we staying?" Steve asked, frowning.
"A nice motel a few miles from here." Tony piped up.
Natasha scowled slightly, asking:
"How do you know it's nice?"
"I made Happy go and give it a look." As he saw the funny looks everyone gave him, he added: "Hey, don't look at me like that. I let him stay there overnight with his new girlfriend… Paula? Something like that."
"Turn left here." Thor instructed.
"Are you sure?" Natasha asked, hesitating. "Last time-"
Steve reached out a hand and snatched the map away from Thor, receiving a death-glare, but a second later he gave it back and confirmed:
"He's right, turn left."
"Of course I'm right!" Thor said, sounding very offended. "If you ever take the map away from me again, I'll-"
"Leave him alone, Odinson." Tony said uninterestedly.
Thor glared at both Tony and Steve, but didn't say anything else.
"So, we're not gonna be there for another ten minutes, what about singing a song?" Tony suggested after a pause, grinning. "Anybody who knows any?"
Steve and Clint groaned, Natasha rolled her eyes and Thor was busy examining the map, completely uninterested in the conversation.
"No, Stark, we're not singing."
"Why not?" Tony complained loudly, pouting. "It's not like we have anything else to do! Rogers, do you know any old songs?"
"No." Steve said. "We're not singing."
"Barton?"
"Forget it."
"Romanoff?"
"Stark, I warn you-"
"C'mon! Odinson?"
"What?"
"Never mind, we don't know your godly language anyway. Bruce, then?"
No answer.
Natasha hesitated, and then asked:
"Banner? Captain, is he-?"
"He's asleep." Steve stated.
"Asleep?" Tony stretched his neck to see past Steve.
"I wish I was." Clint muttered, causing Natasha to smile slightly.
"I can wake him up." Thor said helpfully, now paying attention. He inhaled deeply, getting ready to yell, but Steve stopped him:
"Don't! He looks peaceful. I doubt he has gotten any sleep since he started working for Stark."
Clint frowned and turned around in his seat to watch them. Bruce's head was leaning against the car door, eyes closed and the glasses on the tip of his nose, only a moment away from falling off, and his mouth was slightly open. He was snoring very quietly, not even loud enough for them to have noticed before they had seen that he actually was sleeping.
"He looks like he hasn't slept in days." Clint noted, and then glared at Tony. "Have you let him sleep at all?"
"I might have made him work nighttime a few days." Tony admitted. "But he likes it and he never complains, he's actually the perfect-"
"Of course Banner doesn't complain." Steve said, scowling. "He's Banner. Stark, I don't think you should let him work too much, stress can make him-"
"I'll cut down on his working hours, no big deal." Tony said, raising his hands as in surrender.
"Is that the 'motel' you were speaking about?" Thor suddenly said, pointing at a colorful sign at the end of the road.
"Nat, park right out here." Clint said.
"Finally there." Steve sighed.
Getting out of the car was a messy business. Natasha shook Bruce awake, Thor almost tripped as he clumsily got out of the car, Clint took care of all the bags in the backseat with Steve's help, and Tony basically just bragged about having found such a nice motel.
"How long did I sleep?" Bruce asked, bleary-eyed.
"Just half an hour." Steve said. "You looked tired, so we didn't want to wake you."
"Thanks." The doctor muttered, rubbing his eyes.
"Get moving." Clint groaned, struggling with the bags. Thor took two from him and Bruce offered to carry one too, and they let Tony lead the way inside.
They got only one room.
It was pretty large but with only two beds. Tony quickly decided that one of them was his, and Thor had planned to take the other one if Bruce hadn't practically collapsed on it. Natasha, Steve, Clint and Thor spread out their sleeping bags Tony had ordered them to take with.
They quickly took turns to the bathroom, brushing their teeth and washing their faces, and the boys changing as Natasha was in there.
"Thor, is that your pajamas?" Tony asked disbelievingly. The god looked down at his classic blue- and white striped shirt and pants, looking confused.
"Don't mind him." Steve huffed. "Stark, you're seriously going to wear that shirt?"
"What's wrong with his shirt?" Clint asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor in a simple black t-shirt and sweatpants.
"Have you seen the back of it?" Natasha asked.
Tony turned around to show everybody, grinning over his shoulder.
"'Iron Man; The Coolest Avenger'" Steve read sourly.
"Hey, don't be jealous. There are t-shirts with all of you on! I could get you some, if you want to."
"No, thank you." Bruce groaned, causing everybody to jump, since they thought he was asleep. "I've seen mine. 'The Hulk; The Green, Muscular Thingy'."
Thor laughed.
"Enough, guys. Turn off the lights." Natasha ordered, crawling in to her sleeping bag.
A second later, the whole room darkened. There was some occasional "ow!"'s and "hey!"'s as they all bumped in to each other, but at last everybody was down in their own beds or sleeping bags.
"This was a nice roadtrip, wasn't it?" Tony said, ruffling his bed sheets.
"Splendid." Thor spoke up.
"Horrible." Steve said quietly.
"Terrifying." Clint agreed.
"Awful." Natasha murmured.
There was a pause before Bruce muttered:
"Tiring."
"I'll cut down on your working hours, buddy." Tony said, yawning.
A soft, quiet snoring filled the room, very similar to the one they had heard in the car.
"And he's gone." Tony muttered, his voice muffled. "Did he even hear me?"
"Good night, guys." Natasha said, finality in her voice.
"Good night."
"Sleep tight."
"We gotta do this again some time."
"Shut up, Stark."