Endless
A Princess Tutu Fanfiction
by Tomoyo-chan
Disclaimer: I do not own Princess Tutu. Or any other copyrights for that matter.
"An unending story is cruel."
It wasn't that she didn't love stories; Ahihu loved stories, she really did. It's just that she loved the end of stories, when the prince and princess ride off into the sunset together. When everyone has a happy ending. The middle of the story was full of too much heartbreak.
Too often she found herself crying, too often she couldn't bear to go on, to see what new torture lay upon the next page. The prince was too reckless, the knight too focused, and she…she wasn't even a princess was she? Just a duck, because the real princess was trapped in darkness masquerading as dreams. The understudy of the understudy, the last resort stand-in, because someone ended to do the job, so why not Ahiru? It can't be worse than not having a princess at all. Right?
She kicked her shoe against the cobblestone street. Sometimes she felt she was just making it worse. Learning that giving Mytho back his heart was putting him closer and closer to being eaten by the Raven, pushing Rue deeper and deeper into the thorns of Kraehe, watching Edel burn like that. She was always tripping over her own feet, transforming back into a duck all the time. Sure, she was good at giving little comforts, to Ebine and Pike and even Neko-sensei occasionally, but Fakir, Rue, Mytho? No, she was only messing up their stories.
Besides, Princess Tutu was the useful one. Everyone thought of the princess, hated, loved, idolized the princess. Not Ahiru, not the ugly duckling who would never grow up into a swan. Tutu would do her job and disappear. Tutu would do her blasted destiny, set everything right up for Drosselmeyer to make everything into a trajedy, and then disappear. No longer any need to worry or regret, she was a speck of light after all. Tutu would be the one remembered with bittersweet memories, and no one would wonder why there was one less duck at the pond. They probably wouldn't even notice, too intent on ignoring her brothers and sisters. She wondered if the other ducks remembered her at all? Not likely. She didn't have any memories from before entering school, but she remembered how mindless, how focused she could be at times (it wasn't something that had gone away when she gained her human form); even watching Mytho from afar had been almost more than her mental abilities had allowed.
Somehow, she found herself traveling over a worn dirt part, and then grass. The town buildings lay long behind her, the walls somewhere past the trees. Her feet stopped. If she continued on this path, she would eventually reach the pond. Would it be better if she returned to living as a duck, to remove the future damage she could do?
Would it be better to float away on the water, just a duck again?
No, how could she leave the story half finished like that? To leave Rue heartbroken and Mytho broken-hearted? Forever left in this moment why she wandered away; she was no better than Princess Tutu like that. Courageous only because she knew she didn't have to like with the effects of her actions, good and bad. She knew she was clumsy and naive and nosy and loud and… (and she really ought to stop now, before she got depressed again). Ahiru knew, but she also knew she was determined and kindhearted, and if she had to wade though a river of tears she would. Figure it out. Somehow.
Nodding, Ahiru turned a quick one-eighty. And promptly fell right on her face.
"Qua~~, today is just not my day!"
This was meant to be a lot more depressing, so just put on some sad music and pretend for me, 'k?