"Hey, Ianto."
Ianto took a deep breath as he collected two hand baskets near the entrance and passed one to Jack.
"Yes, Jack?"
He was already beginning to regret his suggestion that, as a couple, they ought to share the domestic duties such as marketing. He knew Jack Harkness, though, and knew that was likely exactly what Jack wanted. He was like a kid who figured he'd get out of doing the washing up if he "accidentally" broke half the dishes.
"You know that buddy of Rhys's called Banana?"
'Well, that's the last topic I expected,' Ianto thought, though the produce display in front of them was obviously the cue. "I know who you're talking about, though I wouldn't say I know him personally. And, before you ask, according to Tosh, yes it was and no she didn't."
Jack pulled a face, saying, "She should have taken a double-dose of retcon. Maybe triple!"
"Model of fortitude."
"She's that. Anyway… I just thought, how come I don't get a cool nickname?"
"I really don't think it's all that 'cool,'" Ianto said, selecting a few plums. "However, given your increasingly unnatural interest in attaching cute names to everything…. Aubrey."
Jack's brows furrowed. "Aubrey?" he asked, drawing out the syllables.
"Short for aubergine," Ianto said with the mere suspicion of a smirk as he picked up a pint of cherry tomatoes.
Jack stood bemused for a moment, staring at a selection of the large purple vegetable and wondering what the hell Ianto was on about. The expression that slowly came over Jack's face as he finally got it made the whole outing worth it to Ianto.
Jack grinned, shaking his head at Ianto. "Oh, you're good," Jack snickered.
"Do my best, sir," Ianto smirked.
"We really do need more veggies in our diets," Jack said. "Cucumbers, definitely. And marrow… courgette…."
Ianto shook his head. As if the office fetish wasn't bad enough, now he had to keep Jack away from produce markets as well.