Based on a very bizarre dream I had in the Christmas holidays.
As told in the Gryffindor common room
So I had Ancient Runes first lesson of the term. Not a particularly interesting lesson, but anyway… I was one of the last to leave and Professor Bridgewater came up to me and said, "I've never had a couple in one of my classes before, Pen!" And I was like, "What?" And she was like, "You know, you and Jared!" And I was like, "What do you mean, me and Jared?" And she was like, "You and Jared are going out!" And I was like, "No we're not. What the hell?" I mean, how weird is that? I hardly know Jared. I only have one class with him. So anyway, she was all, "Wow, that's weird. Lauren told me you were going out. Anywho, bye!" So I was all, "That was random." So I go outside the classroom, and Bridget's waiting for me and she was like, "You didn't tell me you were going out with Jared Pierce!" And I was like, "Not you too! Where did you hear that from?" And she was like, "Everyone says so. How come you didn't tell me? I'm your best friend!" And I'm like, "What the hell!? Jared and I aren't going out." But apparently there was this massive rumour going around the whole school that Jared and I had been going out for the whole holidays. It was totally random. I'd like, never thought about him that way. I'd never thought about him at all, really. He was just there. So anyway, I went downstairs and everyone I knew was all like, "Hey, I heard about you and Jared! That's really cool!" And I'm like, "We're not going out." Like, all day. And I didn't see Jared anywhere. By lunchtime, I was looking for him and I found him in some classroom. So I'm like, "Hey." And he's like, "Hey." So I'm like, "Everyone's saying…" and he's like "I know what everyone's saying." So I'm like, "Do you know why everyone's saying it?" And he's like, "Yeah." So I'm like, "Care to share?" And he's like, "No." So I'm like, "Why not?" And he said, "Because you'll hate me for it." And I'm thinking, oh boy, and I said, "I don't care, tell me anyway." And eventually he said, "I told Mark something in confidence, and he twisted it and told everyone." And I'm thinking, who's Mark again? And then I remembered he's that dude who draws comics where everyone kills each other. So I was like, "What did you tell him?" And he was like, "I'd rather not say." And I was like, "Please? I won't, you know, laugh at you or anything." And after a bit of convincing he said, "I told him that I like you, and he told other people that I was going to ask you out, and it turned into we'd been going out all holidays, which turned into we'd been going out secretly for six months." And then he was like, "I'm really sorry, Pen. I didn't know he was going to do that. We're not friends anymore." So I was like, "Why?" And he was all like, "He betrayed my trust, blah blah blah… I wasn't even going to ask you out. I never said that to him." And I was like, "How come?" And he was like, "Because I didn't think you'd have me." And I was like, "How did you know?" And he was like, "Because you hardly know me." And I was like, "I do now," and I kissed him.
I have no idea what that sounds like to someone who doesn't know me. But anyway. It's like I (Pen, and no that's not my real name) am telling someone about it. This is almost exactly how I told people about my random dream. That's why it's "So I was like, and she was like". And why it's all in one paragraph. I mean, when you're talking you don't really make grammatical sense, I reckon. Anyway, tell me what you think.