A/N: Finally, time for some Deamus! Enjoy! And I'm aware there are a ton of fics that have been writing about how Seamus fucks up in class because Dean is there, but I just HAD to try my hand in it.
Note: This story is also posted on my Wattpad: Solmarie Morales ("Harry Potter and a Collection of Oneshots")
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All credit goes to J.K Rowling.
HARRY POTTER
When I'm Near You
A Deamus Oneshot
Seamus Finnigan had done it again. He had screwed up with the class' potion and now Severus Snape had humiliated him in front of his classmates.
Worst of all, his best friend Dean Thomas was there to witness it all. He had dragged his friend into his disgrace by asking for his help. If only he hadn't such strong feelings for him, maybe the lecture would have been more bearable to experience.
That's right, he loves Dean. And for all his Gryffindor bravado, he doesn't have the courage to confess and end this cycle of embarrassment. Because instead of breaking it off after so many embarrassments, Dean continued to be his best friend and that's what Seamus loved the most of him: Dean was loyal and open-minded.
But it's not his fault that he's always distracted in class! It's normal for blokes to be inattentive when their soulmate is at their side, isn't it?
-"That bastard has gotten it against us, don't you reckon?"- Dean was saying, but Seamus was lost in his own thoughts, -"Seamus? Are you listening to me?"
Seamus jumped from his trunk, hitting himself in the head, -"What?"- He asked, rubbing the sore spot as he turned to face his friend, -"Um, yeah. Right, you are."
-"Oh yeah?"- Dean scoffed, placing a hand on his hip. He shouldn't have any right at all to do that, Seamus thought. It was, well, distracting, -"Then what did I say?"
-"Er—"- Seamus stammered, scratching the back of his neck, -"That you're a loser?"
-"Har har, very funny,"- He rolled his eyes. Then he sighed and walked closer to where Seamus was, rooted to the spot and trying very hard not to pay attention to how Dean's hips moved as he walked. He really needed to work on his concentration, -"I was talking about Snape. He's got it against us, but mostly you,"- Dean sighed again and he seemed worried, -"Seamus, mate, what's going on with you? You've been... I dunno, distracted lately."
Oh no, Seamus thought, not this again.
-"M' fine, Dean."- Seamus replied dryly and turned around to his trunk again, aimlessly searching for... nothing, really. Anything to get away from the conversation. It doesn't usually end well.
-"Is there something going on that you're not telling me?"- Dean pried again, -"Something at home?"
Seamus quickly shook his head, -"No. Me house's fine."
-"Then what is it?"
Seamus decided to give Dean an answer. A lie. He was going to hate himself for it, but it'll get Dean off of his case for a while, -"It's just—uh—I can't understand Potions, mate. I can't get it in me head."
-"But it's not just Potions, Seamus,"- Dean argued, -"Divination too. You broke the cup last class."
-"Gases. Don't they make you feel woozy?"
-"Transfiguration?"- Dean ignored him, -"I don't think you'd normally turn rats into teacups."
-"Wasn't that the point, mate?"
-"And don't let me get started on Herbology,"- Dean bemoaned, flitting a hand to his forehead, -"Putting plants in pots can't be that difficult. You've broken more pots than Neville has!"
-"Clumsy hands."
-"Clumsy my arse!"- Dean berated while Seamus thought what a fine arse that was, -"You're distracted and that's that. Something's going on so why won't you tell me?"
Seamus didn't reply. He only wished for the ground to swallow him.
-"Seamus, look at me,"- Dean demanded fiercely, but Seamus didn't budge. The taller boy groaned in frustration and grabbed his friend's cardigan, pulling him up to his eye level. Seamus yelped as he was forced to his feet. Blimey, Dean was so strong, -"I'm talking to you!"
Seamus couldn't give a proper answer, not with Dean so close; he could feel his breath brushing his face and the warmth emanating from his body.
There was only one thing to do: he pushed Dean, -"Gerrof me!"
-"Seamus...,"- Dean seemed a little surprised by the reaction, his eyes slightly wide. Now he will really think something is going on, but if Seamus hadn't done it, well... he would have done something he'll regret later; say like, kiss him, -"You know if you tell me... I can help. That's what best mates are for, aren't they?"
-"I s'pose,"- Seamus shrugged, eager to let the conversation drop, -"It's really nothing, Dean. I guess I just have attention deficit or something."
Dean didn't believe him. His eyes narrowed tightly, looking at Seamus judgingly, and he seemed to want to argue further but thought better of it. However, Seamus knew that wasn't the end of it. He knew his friend would keep an eye on him, which was just what he needed.
-"Uh-huh."- Was all he said before going to bed.
Seamus wanted to apologize for pushing him, Dean was just trying to help (good friend, he was), but his mouth wouldn't open. He was afraid he would say something else. Something else was unacceptable.
It would ruin everything they've built together. This friendship.
Because clearly Dean didn't felt the same way. He's had eyes of Ginny Weasly for a while and it had been truly difficult for Seamus to listen to his monologues about how beautiful and brilliant she was. Really, he kind of wanted wallop her sometimes.
Seamus went to sleep and his 'goodnight' was ignored—by Dean, at least, and it bothered him all night.
The next day, Seamus stood by the mirror of the bathroom and pep-talked himself. He told his reflection that he wouldn't screw classes that day, that he wouldn't embarrass himself, and most importantly, Dean, because the impression of his friend mattered the most.
But nothing seemed to going as planned for Seamus. That day, he messed up the potion so bad that the classroom was plunged in a repugnant smell of decay. To boot, he retched because the thing blew up under his nose.
He went to the hospital wing and, of course, Madam Pomfrey had a remedy for his nausea and he was back on his feet to continue making a fool of himself.
In Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall had asked the students to turn a guinea pig into a ball. A Quaffle was clear in Seamus' mind and yet he failed; he didn't understand how in Merlin's beard the poor thing became a hairball, the kind cats spit all the time. He felt nauseous again.
Then in Herbology, the dirt he was supposed to pour into the pots fell and spoiled the notes and papers of his classmates. Dean's included.
It was to no surprise when the grades came around to learn that, of course, he failed. He had messed up so horribly, and all because Dean looked particularly stunning that day. Was it the tie? Or the hair? Maybe his eyes, that were looking brighter?
He returned to the dormitory, tired and mentally worn, and found that Dean had been waiting for him. Seamus didn't wanted to talk about all that had happened that day, but Dean was quick. He stopped him before he could run to the bathroom and hide until Dean fell asleep.
-"Enough, Seamus,"- Dean spoke firmly, -"Tell me what's going on and don't try to lie."
Seamus tried to come up with another lie, but his cache was empty, -"Nothin'."
-"C'mon, what is it?"- Dean insisted, -"Fancy a girl? Y'know I can help with that."
Seamus couldn't suppress a loud laugh. He even startled Dean, -"No, definitely not a girl."
-"Then what?"
Here it goes again. Seamus' anxiety was growing. He wanted to leave, but every time he tried to, Dean would get closer.
-"Nothing, Dean. I told you."
-"Liar,"- Dean answered, -"I don't understand why you can't tell me. We're best friends. You used to tell me everything."
Seamus used to, yes. Until he started feeling differently towards him and there were things he couldn't tell, things that no doubt would expose how he really felt.
-"You don't trust me anymore? Is that it?"- Asked Dean and his voice sounded desperate. Sad, -"Did I do something wrong?"
-"No!"- Seamus nearly screamed. He didn't wanted Dean to think that barbarity, -"No, you never did anything wrong! Don't think that!"
-"Then what's going on?"- There were tears welling up in Dean's eyes now, -"I can't help but think I wronged you somehow. I feel stupid for not knowing what's bothering my best friend."
Seamus was speechless, his eyes were wide open and his mouth was agape. This is how his friend felt and it was all because of him. There really was no other way for this to end. If Seamus wanted his friend to stop ailing, he needed to confess. It'll change everything between them, but at least he'll feel better.
-"You really want to know, Dean?"- He asked uncertainty.
-"Yes!"- Dean was quick to reply.
-"Even if... it changes everything between us?"
The taller boy tilted his head, confused, -"Why would that happen?"- He must have come up with an answer because he smiled and gave Seamus a sincere look, -"It doesn't matter how embarrassing it is, Seamus. We'll always be friends."
-"Friends...,"- Seamus echoed, smiling ruefully. He sighed, -"Close your eyes, Dean."
-"Uh, okay,"- Dean uttered, confused again. He closed his eyes nonetheless, -"If it'll make it easier for you, then sure."
Seamus muttered his thanks before standing closer to his friend. He took a deep breath and steeled himself, mustering the Gryffindor courage he often talked about.
This was it.
His eyes zeroed in on Dean lips, so beautiful and vulnerable. He leaned his head closer...
-"What is it, Seamus?"- Dean asked worriedly, his eyes still closed, -"Is it that bad—"
He was interrupted because there were a pair of other lips softly placed atop his. The brown eyes shot open and his legs moved back before Seamus could feel more.
-"S—Seamus?"- Dean stammered, touching his lips with the tip of his fingers, -"You—since when did you—?"
-"Since second year,"- Seamus replied quickly. His cheeks were warm and there was an electricity running through his body that was making him shake from head to toe. The hammering in his chest very nearly left him breathless, -"I—I'm sorry."
Then he turned on his heels and disappeared into the bathroom. He didn't come out until he was certain that Dean was asleep—he didn't think he was, not really, when he took his place on his own bed and saw Dean stirring every few seconds from the corner of his eyes, but neither boys said anything. Seamus wasn't sure if he preferred it that way or not.
It hurt him to see Dean avoiding him the next day, but he had expected it. He made Dean uncomfortable last night: he kissed him without his consent. Never mind that it had been wonderful to finally confess and kiss Dean, Seamus felt lonely and sad. Instead of having his best friend at his side, he had no one and he continued to fail at every assignment, if not more than before. His mind was just too occupied, too befuddled to concentrate.
The fact that Dean started hanging around Harry, Ron, and the others made it all the more worse. It made Seamus regret having confessed the night before and ultimately isolate himself. Everybody knew by now that they were "fighting" and some even approached him to broach on the subject, but Seamus ignored them and continued walking. Walking away.
He had been so stupid. Why did he kissed him? He could have just said something. Maybe if he did, things wouldn't have gone so wrong.
-"Finnigan, are you even trying?"- The harsh voice of Severus Snape forced Seamus out of his catatonia. He looked down and realized that his potion has taken a rather foul color.
-"Y—yes, Professor."- Seamus said tensely under the scrutinizing gaze of his teacher.
-"Then tell me, Finnigan, what happens if you add aconite to... whatever that is."- The teacher said, gesturing disgustingly at Seamus potion.
From his peripheral, Seamus saw Hermione raising her hand, but of course, Snape ignored her. He realized that his classmates were looking now, expectant. Dean too.
Every nerve in Seamus' body kindled, -"I... I don't know, Professor."
-"Then let us see, shall we?"- Snape answered, beckoning at the purplish flower in Seamus' table.
Seamus gulped nervously. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what the aconite would do—in fact, he didn't know what the aconite was in the first place. That was just how bad he was in Potions. It may fix his potion or make it worse just as well.
He was reaching for the plant when someone stood up, so fast that all Seamus saw was a blurry shape.
-"No, don't do it!"
It was Dean. The aconite fell from Seamus' hand as their eyes met. He shook his head briskly.
-"Why not?"- Snape asked, looking vexed that someone had spoken without being called.
-"Because it'll explode, that's why!"- Dean shouted, still tall over his table.
The room went quiet for a few seconds until Snape sighed, -"Very well. Take your seat."
Dean did as told, but his eyes followed the Professor until he was at the front of the room to resume his class. Then they shifted to Seamus and he smiled compassionately. The latter boy tried hard not to blush, but it was futile.
When class was dismissed, Dean waited for him outside.
-"Thanks, mate,"- Seamus spoke first, no doubt nervous again, -"I owe you one."
-"Naw,"- Dean shook his head, -"You don't owe me anything."
Seamus' placidness crumbled and he started to walk away when Dean stopped him again, a hand around his wrist, where his heart beats were palpable.
-"Where are you going?"- Dean asked, -"We... we need to talk."
-"We... do?"- Seamus asked, hoping against hope that Dean had meant something else.
-"Yeah,"- Dean nodded solemly, -"We do. Dormitory, tonight?"
Seamus merely nodded and when Dean let go, he took off at a quick pace. His heart was beating rapidly against his chest, he could feel it by his ears, and his legs were almost moving on their own. He didn't even know where exactly he was going. Away.
The last of the classes were dismissed too quickly for Seamus' liking. He was nervous about returning to the dormitory. What will Dean say? Is he going to tell him off, truly put an end to their friendship, or will he try to fix it?
He didn't had to worry long because suddenly he was in front of the door to their dormitory and he could hear Dean inside. Seamus took a deep breath and entered.
Dean was there as expected, sitting on his trunk with both hands cupping his cheeks. He jumped to his feet when Seamus came inside.
-"Seamus!"- He nearly yelled, -"I thought you wouldn't come!"
Seamus thought that too, but then he wouldn't hear what Dean had to say. Even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear, Seamus had to hear it.
-"I almost didn't come,"- Seamus replied lowly, -"But I wanted to hear what you had to say."
-"That's very brave of you,"- Dean complimented and there was a twinge of guilt as he spoke, -"I shouldn't have avoided you, mate. You must've felt horrible. I'm sorry, but I... needed to think."
Seamus swallowed heavily before speaking, -"And...?"
-"I never realized you felt that way, but it makes sense,"- Dean said, -"Everything makes sense."
A little chuckle escaped Seamus' lips, -"It does, doesn't it?"
-"Yeah!"- Dean chuckled too, -"It was me all along. I don't know if to feel bad or just laugh!"
They laughed together for a few seconds before Seamus spoke again, -"I'm sorry for... for kissing you without telling. It was wrong on me part, but I hope... I hope we can be friends and forget all this."
The room went quiet, with Dean looking doubtful and Seamus still nervous. Had he said something wrong?
-"Seamus, can you close your eyes for a sec?"- Dean asked.
-"Huh?"- It brought back an unpleasant and yet beautiful memory, -"What—what are you going to do?"
-"Do you trust me?"
Seamus nodded briskly, -"Y—yeah, I do. But—"
-"Then do it. Close 'em if you trust me."
Seamus didn't know what Dean was thinking on doing, but he closed his eyes nonetheless. He trusted Dean.
He heard footsteps closing in and some rustling around. Then he felt a presence very close to him.
-"Dean?"- Was he going to...?
Something very soft and very warm settled against his lips. Seamus gasped: Dean was kissing him, and this time, neither of the boys moved. A massive wave of electricity ran up and down Seamus' spine, kindling his blood and making him dazed. The kiss was sweet, warm and very pleasant. Seamus dared to kiss back and he was thrown into a dreamy cloud of happiness.
Dean pulled back and Seamus opened his eyes to see him blushing furiously, just as much as Seamus was.
-"Dean..."
-"Can we be both?"- Dean asked, biting his lower lip, -"I realized that being friends with you is the best thing I've got here, but I don't mind being more, Seamus. After all, I trust you too."
Seamus felt like crying at that moment. He moved forward and jumped to hug Dean tightly. They kissed again, a little more longer.
-"I think this fixes your distraction problem, doesn't it?"- Said Dean after parting.
Seamus chuckled, -"We'll just have to see, mate."
Dating the source of his distraction very much fixed it. In just a few classes, Seamus mended his low grades in Potions, and with Dean at his side, there was no way he could mess things up again.