Title: The End of Time
Author: nightrose_spn
Pairings: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1356
Summary: Sam is eighty-six when he dies. He never thought the end would come like this. At peace, in his own bed, with his brother at his side. Set post-series.
Notes/Warnings: This is… uh, happy deathfic. Warnings for swearing, character death, shmoop, and established relationship wincest.
Sam looks small. He hasn't in so long, not since he was a child in my arms. His eyes are closed peacefully and his breath is steady, though shallow. His body is gaunt—he hasn't been eating, says he can't taste food anymore. I didn't bother talking him around, just like he didn't argue when I wanted to have three cheeseburgers for every meal despite my fragile, aging heart. He looks tired and old against the pillows.
And beautiful. So beautiful.
"Hey, Sammy," I whisper. "You still in there?" My voice is raspy. I don't use it all that often.
His eyes flutter open, casting shadows on his cheeks. He doesn't speak, but he smiles.
"Won't be long, now, baby boy. You know that."
His eyes meet mine, and he nods slowly. I reach for his hand, feeling the powdery-softness of his skin.
"You scared, Sammy?" I kiss his forehead, lines and wrinkles under my lips.
He glares at me, and I laugh softly.
"Not gonna ask you to admit it. Just want you to know… There's nothing to be scared of. We know some of what goes on after, huh? I know what hell's like, but I also know you aren't going there. Remember the end of the war? What Cas promised us? A heavenly reward and God's forgiveness for our sins. All that happy bullshit." I softly squeeze his fingers. "We'll be together soon enough. Forever, this time."
He looks up at me, eyes wide. I comfort him with a gentle laugh. "Sammy, I'm not gonna do anything stupid. Don't worry. Just… they say couples die together, y'know? The ones who've been together for ages, love each other still, usually go one after another. Well, the way I see it, baby, we've been together eighty-six years now. And I love you more than anything. Always have, and always will. Remember how I promised you I'd love you 'til the end of time? Time isn't over yet. Ours might be, but time isn't over yet."
I'm going to keep talking. I want to make sure the last thing he hears is my voice, the last thing he sees is my face. Not just because he's mine and our love should be the most important thing, but because I want him to feel safe, want him to know that I'm here beside him, like I always have been, like I always will be.
"I wonder what heaven's like, Sammy. Will we be young again there? Stay in bed all day, drowning in each other? Or will it be like this? Nothing but the two of us, no one we have to please, no one we have to save. These last few years have been amazing for me. We're old, sure, and creaky, and in pain half the time, but I don't have anything to do but love you. Sit around and hold your hand and listen to you read me stories and make aging homophobes extremely uncomfortable."
He laughs, remembering the look on the face of the man next door when he'd seen us shuffle past his room, hand in hand.
"I never thought we'd go like this. When we were little, I thought it'd be a hunt. Just another hunt gone wrong, only this time we wouldn't make it out by the skin of our teeth. You or I would die, and if it was me I'd be dead and if it was you I'd make a deal."
That still makes him freeze a little. "Sammy, sweetheart, I'm not gonna do that now. You think I could get to a crossroads if I tried? Plus, I don't need to. I'm pretty sure I haven't got too long on this Earth anyway. I'll be with you soon."
"After that, during the war? I started to think we'd die in fire. We'd save the world, I knew we would, I knew it would work out. But there were days… when I thought I'd… I'd have to either kill you or kill myself so I wouldn't have to watch the world go down in flames. And I guess that would've been the end of me. Other times, I thought we'd be casualties. Or we'd end up having to sacrifice ourselves."
"I'm so glad it could be like this. So glad it wasn't painful, the end. So glad you didn't go alone. Neither of us have to be afraid. I'm right here, and you know nothing bad can happen to you when I'm here." His lips are cold as I bend to kiss him, but I can taste his breath. He hasn't slipped away from me yet. "I guess I should hope you'd go in your sleep, no pain at all, or even that I'd die first. I don't, though. This is the way it should be. I should be right beside you."
He looks at me, his eyes soft, tears welling in the hazel. I brush them away, so very gently, and whisper, "Sammy, everything… everything that happened, all those years ago… I don't know if I ever told you, but I forgive you for all of it. I did ages ago. I just didn't want you to go thinking… that I didn't… that anything could stand in the way of how much I love you."
God, I sound like a girl. But I'm sitting at my Sammy's deathbed smiling so I think we'd already reached the day's quota of contradictions and everything else is included.
"That's all in the past, and it doesn't matter. This matters. Right here, you and me? That's all that's ever mattered. Me loving you and… you loving me back. All I ever wanted, you gave me. All I ever wanted was you." It's easy to admit, now, at the end. The fact that beneath the macho show, all there is, is love for Sam, so much that even now it scares me sometimes. I would literally do anything for him. I know what he needs is for me to show him that. To tell him just how much I care.
"I know you wish you could answer me, but I don't need you to. In eighty-six years, we've said it all. Everything that matters, anyways."
After the war, we'd settled down. Cas had assured me that living in sin with my brother could be overlooked, given what we'd done. Sammy and I had talked about adopting, him getting a normal job, happily ever after, but normal wasn't what we needed. What we needed was each other. We wound up back on the road, hunting the good old fashioned way, until we were old and could only research. Now we were ancient. I can barely see, and Sam… well, Sammy won't be doing that much longer either, I guess.
"One thing can always bear saying again, though." I kiss my baby brother one last time, and his lips part as I whisper into his mouth, "I love you, Sammy."
Sam doesn't die with blood and fire and screams and tears. He leaves this world from a snow-white bed, with his eyes closed and my lips on his and my love ringing in his ears.
Nothing could be more right.
I don't cry over Sammy's body. Why should I? My little brother's gone, up in heaven with the angels. I hope he doesn't start picking fights with them before I get up there to keep him out of trouble. That thought makes me smile as I press the call button to let the residential nurse know she can come in now. All the goodbyes have been said. Now it's just a few medical procedures, a few forms, and a funeral. I wonder who will come, what the neat hospital staff will think of the aging, grizzled hunters who turn up to say goodbye to the men who saved the world.
I wonder how long it will take me to be with Sammy again, but I feel a soft, ethereal touch at my back. I don't have to turn around and look at an angel in a trenchcoat to get my answer.