She let go and looked up, not seeing as the old Bella would have, but as a person who was new and needed something to keep her grounded. Imprint fic.
Disclaimer: Twilight, the book/Movie/Characters are the soul creations of SM. I make no claims. No copyright infringement intended.
AN: Many of you are going to read the first chapter and think, 'oh, another Jacob/Bella imprint fic.' And to those I say, maybe but not everything is at it seems. Let me know what you think and if I should continue.
One Man Army.
"I am leaving, this is starting to feel like,
it's right before my eyes.
And I can taste it, it's my sweet beginning."
Chapter begin.
Bella drove angry. Swerving all over the road at fifty-five miles per hour. Engine roaring with the strain it was under. She didn't have a plan. She didn't know if Jacob was home. Or if Billy would let her see him if he was home. She certainly didn't know what the hell she would say if she did by chance actually stumble upon him.
But the rage fueling her was enough to smash through all her doubts and chase away any thoughts of reason. Bella needed to do this. Jacob didn't get to pull an Ed-… a Him. Jacob didn't get to slither past her carefully reconstructed walls. Didn't get to drag her back from the brink of utter self-destruction. Haul her kicking and screaming back into the world of sensation and life and laughter only to just disappear without a word or explanation.
And he certainly didn't get to lie to her and expect her to just believe it.
Mono my ass.
Toeing the acceleration, she ploughed up onto the Black's front yard tires slipping on mud and rain slick grass, propelling her forwards off her mark and nearly causing her to collide with Jacob's work shed.
She didn't feel guilty about the torn up tracks her truck would have left over the expanse of Billy's lawn. Nor would she have felt bad if her truck actually had collided with Jacob's work shed.
She was a mission!
That was until Bella realized with a jolt that regardless of confronting Jacob or not, she had completed her mission. She had actually made it to La Push -to the Black's house!- without chickening out and turning back. And then the enormity of what she'd just done dawned on her and she was left stunned, sitting in the cab of her truck as her engine steamed and the rain beat down on her Chevy.
Unsure what the hell she was meant to do now, and with no anticipatory plan, she was actually left floundering, contemplating starting up her truck and high tailing it out of there. If anyone asked, she'd deny any accusations of her tearing up the Black's plot and driving 10 miles over the limit the whole way from Forks to La Push.
That plan fell on its face however when she noticed an enormous russet blob marching through the veil of rain towards her, and her smoking truck. As the figure drifted closer, the identity was revealed and Bella's blind fury was back, washing over her like a wave of scalding water. Dousing her in wave after wave of heat that had her kicking open the door and stumbling down. She slammed the door and trudged to meet this new version of Jacob.
She wobbled forwards with a stiff back, blinded almost by the fog and rain and her now soaking her. The weather forecast had told her to expect a muggy heat for which she had dressed. Her once sweet white camisole quickly becoming nothing more than a sheer second skin. Jacob stopped a few feet in front of her, letting her go to him. An act presumptuous enough to tick Bella off more so then she already was.
Ignoring the obscene squish-squashing her now soggy sneakers were making and the fact that her skin was now covered with Goosebumps, Bella barreled forwards.
"Jacob." She seethed, teeth chattering.
She barely recognized the person before her. Jake sure had changed a whole damned lot in the week he'd adamantly refused to acknowledge her existence. She studied the boy standing- or rather looming ominously- in front of her with a critical eye.
The first thing she noticed was he his hair, or there lack of. His beautiful hair had been hacked off. Cropped short all over and now covering his head like glossy black satin, slick and flattened with the rain. Also, his face seemed have taken on a sort of harshness. Once expressive features closed off in a tight mask of anger. Almost like he'd aged a decade within the week they'd been apart. Jake's neck and shoulders were different too. Thicker somehow.
However what Bella noticed the most, above the minor physical changes, was Jacob's eyes. Which were not on Bella's face, but staring blankly at her chest. Bella had seen those dark eyes reflect a lot of things. She'd seen them puffy and wet with grief. Gleam with impish laughter. And even take on a glow of love.
But what she saw now chilled her deeper than the rain ever could. Those eyes she thought she knew ever side of now burned with such a deep-seated resentment that she actually felt the heat of his glare. Skin crawling with prickles of nerves. Unconsciously she shrank back just a little and shivered, breath hitching. Her anger now lost.
Those dark eyes flicked up to her face finally, pinning her.
Who was this stranger before her, surely this wasn't her Jacob.
Couldn't be.
Could it?
"What the hell are you doing here, Bella?" The stranger growled.
It was Jacob. She'd know that voice anywhere, even tainted with anger as it currently was. His husky voice sounded more animal then man at the moment. He threw the question at her like a weapon. And it stung. Unable to look at Jacob, her eyes slid left of the bulk of his massive body and settled on the four figures that hovered behind him.
All shirtless and in ratty cut-offs.
Standing in an oh-so perfect line of dark flesh and lithe muscles. Faces all turned down in ugly masks of fury and hair the same choppy hack job as Jacob's.
Swallowing back a noise that was probably a soft grumble, she turned her eyes back to Jake, still able to feel the glower of the others on her.
"Can… can we talk?" Bella mumbled softly, nibbling the words out fast and furiously like a mouse with cheese, fighting the urge to drop her head and look at her muddy shoes.
"Go ahead." Jacob hissed through his teeth. The look he was giving her was nothing short of vicious. If he had been a dog, Bella would have feared him rabid. Bella had never seen Jacob look at anyone as he currently looked at her. It hurt with surprising intensity- a physical pain, a stabbing and almost pounding in her head. As if someone had taken a sledge hammer to the inside of her skull and was trying to turn it inside out.
"Alone?" She implored, voice barely audible over the roar of the downpour, unexpectedly dizzy. For a moment she wasn't sure he had heard her. Maybe she had thought the question rather then asked it out loud. Instead of replying, Jake turned to look over his shoulder, eyes seeking out the faces of those behind him.
Bella knew instantly where his gaze was going and it caused the pounding in her head to intensify as her heart dropped like a stone. Every one of the unfamiliar faces turned to gage Sam's reaction. Sam nodded once, face perfectly closed off and body tense. He garbled something quickly in a tongue Bella couldn't decipher -but assumed to be Quileute- and only then did Jacob's features soften. Somewhat. Once upon a time it would have been Bella to offer Jacob words of comfort. Now she had been shoved aside for Sam.
Her heart slammed against her ribcage and her head flared with pain so sharp her vision flashed, blinding her as stars burst and glittered through her line of sight once she could see again.
Jacob didn't need her.
Her stomach heaved.
Jacob didn't want her.
The ground beneath her teetered and spun.
Bella wasn't even aware she was falling until hands shot out to steady her, yanking her up by the forearms roughly.
"Bella?" Jake looked a little less hostile now, concern bleeding through his emotionless mask.
Yes!
She had his attention, for the moment at least.
It actually surprised Bella how much she needed Jake to notice to her. Stunned her how much Jacob meant to her. Now, with the very likelihood that she'd lose him to someone else, she realized how very much he meant to her. What she thought unthinkable now stared her unflinchingly in the face. Knowing that if she didn't act now she might as well be giving up, Bella sucked her bottom lip up between her teeth and bit down hard, mind reeling with thoughts. She struggled to think past the very present pressure building in her head, not entirely sure she was ready for whatever it was she was about to do.
Or would have to do.
If she acted now, there was no turning back. She'd have to accept her decision, because it would be permanent and if by chance she tried to play it off later she would lose Jacob, end of discussion.
No turning back.
She knew what it meant. Knew what Jacob needed.
If she wanted all of Jacob, she needed to give him all of her
That meant letting go of hurt. Letting go of the Cullen's. All of her dreams of immortal love. Everything that she thought her life would be.
It meant letting go of Edward.
A quick glance at Jake's face revealed that she was once again losing him. He was shutting down. Closing himself off. Pulling out of her reach, physically and emotionally. She had to do something now!
Fast!
Quickly!
Think!
Something only she could give Jacob. Give him what Sam never could.
Tears spilling down her cheeks, Bella said a silent goodbye to the girl she was and fell forwards into the girl she could be. She fare-welled her memories of Edward, the same memories she'd been using as a barrier of sorts to keep others away.
She let go and looked up, not seeing as the old Bella would have, but as a person who was new and needed something to keep her grounded. For a split second she froze up in fright, eyes locked over Jacob's shoulder and lost in twin pools of burning onyx. She felt completely open. Vulnerable. Looking into those dark, haunted eyes, Bella let his anger wash into her. Accepted the hurt behind the heat of that scowl. And then realized that she needed to be looking at Jacob, because this was for Jake.
Peeling her eyes away from the figure, she guided her gaze to Jacob's.
Though prepared for the anger, she wasn't ready for the 'everything' else that came with it. Everything he was feeling, the rage, the confliction and hurt, the longing and endless soul crushing agony poured into her, and through her, smashing through any thought of Edward, through the wall of memories and any barriers within her, both scorching and soothing a path throughout her body and mind.
Awed, scared and completely overwhelmed, she lifted a shaking hand, gripped Jacob's hair and yanked herself up and against him, while pulling him down. She opened her mouth seconds before their lips connected, and breathed in her first breath of air as the new Bella just their lips touched. Bella kissed Jacob with everything she had. Kissed him in every way she'd never kissed Edward. It was awkward and the angle was off. Their noses bumped and she bit his lip accidentally in her inexperienced enthusiasm.
She didn't rest her lips, idle and waiting for him to take the lead and dominate the kiss. No. Bella charged forwards, arching her back and clawing at Jacob's neck, silently begging him to react. Even if he just pushed her away. Anything but stand there like stone under her advances. She gave herself over to her meager attempt at an open mouthed kiss, and when she finally thought to pull away, Jacob came alive at last.
Jake's lips parted and Bella was suddenly drowning in heat and the taste of saltwater toffee. Hands came up and crushed her to the hard lines of his body, fitting her perfectly into every dip and contour, groaning low and deep into her mouth. A sound that vibrated through her.
Just like that, lost in a sensory overload of skin and smell and taste and touch, Bella realized she wanted fire. She wanted to burn alive. To roll that heat around her and revel in it.
In fact, she wouldn't have minded if Jacob burned hotter.
Legs like cooked noodles threatened to tip her over into the mud. Fearing she was about to end up on her ass, Bella wasn't prepared for the hands gripping the shirt at the small of her back, to slide lower and cup her under her buttocks, lifting effortlessly.
Acting on impulse, Bella curled her legs around Jacob's hips, eyes unconsciously slipping past his face, before falling shut entirely. Jacob breathed into her mouth and it was like dappled sunlight. Warm. Everything was warm and glowed with a gold tint. All that warmth that Jacob was forcing her to take was pooling and building like a dam, every drop of his heat collection within her.
It built and spread and expanded, filling her up till she was burning with it, but never cresting. Pulling her mouth from Jake's, she threw her head back and screamed trying to alleviate it. Frustrated and confused and inexplicable angry when she continued to teeter on a precipices of something she couldn't even identify. She sucked into a desperate breath that felt wrong because it was cold, not hot, and then she was being pulled back to Jacob's lips, which were already open, his tongue flicking out to tease her own into parting.
Jacob kissed her like he was desperate. Like he was dying, drowning, and Bella was his lifeline, only the lifeline was sinking and they were both struggling to stay afloat. He bit at her lips, speared her mouth with his tongue, and groped her backside with his hands.
They both broke apart panting, Jacob looking crazed and confused and Bella feeling frustrated and bitter. Like she had somehow lost something. She dropped her legs from his waist and he let her slide down his body till her feet touched the ground, toes first, and then heels.
"That… that was amazing." Jacob mumbled, irises lost in the black of his wide blown pupils.
Bella nodded. Because it had been. Nothing she'd ever experienced before could ever hold a torch to what had just taken place between them.
And then reality came crashing back in when a chorus of 'Oooooooh's' rang out, and Bella remembered with a rush of horror that they had had an audience the entire time. Three of the four faces behind Jacob looked flushed and happy. However it was the lone one that hung back that Bella noticed. One face had a look that was completely unidentifiable and it shook Bella. And then the face was gone. And so was the person.
And in their wake was a wolf the size of a pony.
Bella laughed. A high hysterical sound, while Sam shouted words that made no sense to her, and Jacob was crushing her to his chest, cooing nonsense into her hair.
She laughed, and laughed until the tears on her cheeks registered.
And then she screamed.
Chapter End.
So there you have it folks. Again, let me know what you think. I love feedback. And I'd love to know what you think. Finally, this chapter is unbeta'd. Any mistakes are my own.