My Sweet Christmas, Right This Very Minute

By JR Salazar

"Uggggh...Good God, I'm bushed."

Nuri was bushed. He was bushed beyond bushed; he was overbushed. The young golfing prodigy had golfed in every hole and picked up some strange ingredients along the way. He was racking them up, and he had no idea what to do with them. He was wondering, "why the heck am I getting all these ingredients?" Sure, Nuri was a foodie, but he wasn't one of those MIchelin-star restaurant owners or patisierres that was threatening to put his life on the line if his establishment was on the verge of losing credibility.

Nuri needed to know what he had to do with all those ingredients he picked up all over Pangya Island. The good thing was that he had the Big Red Papel as his caddie and tote bag to take care of all that stuff. The last hole was on Pink Wind, and there was a clubhouse that had all the amenities. Just recently refurbished, it had the Gilded-Age feel, but with a 21st-century twist. It was up to date.

"Thank God I can finally relax," Nuri said, kicking back as Big Red Papel slid through the door effortlessly. But just as he was about to lay out on the couch to kick back and get some sleep, a girl was on top of her.

"Ohhh Nuuuuuuriiiiiii!"

"Ahhhh! Spica, what are you doing laying on top of me!? Get off!"

She giggled as she sat next to him, head on his lap. "Is my precious Nuri all tired from doing another tour?"

"Well, now I'm even MORE tired because of you surprising me like that. What is it?"

She was beaming. "Guess what? I'm now the head baker of the island!"

"Huh? What the...I thought that was A.H.M.I.E.'s job. What happened?"

"Well, you see, she's only a caddie, and she doesn't know how to bake a cake so she could never get husband. Like me."

"Well obviously, hello? She's a robotic maid. Of course she wouldn't know better! Duh!"

"That's why when Cadie was looking for a new baker to do the honors, I signed up and now I'm doing baking. Isn't it awesome?"

Spica was dancing around, but Nuri was not pleased. "Enough talk. What are you up to this time?"

"Well, I want to bake a cake, but I need some ingredients. I'm looking for some Wiz Berries, Whole Wheat Flour, Fresh Cream, Coconut Butter and Vanilla Beans."

"So that's the stuff that my Big Red Papel was carrying on my way here," Nuri said. Big Red Papel was hyperventilating. He was stuffed.

"You mean to tell me...you have the ingredients!?" Spica's eyes sparkled as she said that.

"Maybe...did you check?" Right on cue, Big Red Papel tipped over.

"Ohhhhhhh my!" Spica said, rummaging through the contents. "This is...this is unbelievable. Hey ROI, can you help me out here? You too, Nuri. Hey, stop turning to stone and help me out, big boy!"

"Oh, right." ROI floated over and it and Nuri helped carry the ingredients to a table in the kitchen.

"This is incredible!" Spica said, laying the ingredients out. "You have 40 of everything...even the beans!" She held up one of them. "These beans...are super, super rare. This is awesome. You the man, Nuri!"

"I'm just a golfer. See you around."

Spica grabbed Nuri's hand and her eyes were aflame. "Stay here. You're not going anywhere."

"Awwww..."

"What's the rush?" Spica asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Well, you see, um..."

"Is it that Hana girl you're trying to meet with?"

"Uh...er..." His face was a rose, and he was sweating puddles. ROI had to clean up.

"She can wait. You need to spend time with me, too. Have a seat." Nuri did, and he turned to stone. "Stop turning to stone, it's annoying and reminds me of ELO!"

"You heard of them?"

"Some peers of mine in my home planet are fans of Electric Light Orchestra. And that song. Which I hate. I hate the band too. I prefer ZZ Top. Anyway," Spica said as she finished placing the other spare ingredients in the pantry, "What I'm going to do is make a cake using all the ingredients I mentioned. I call it...the Vanilla Buche de Noel."

"Oh yeah, it's getting close to that season, huh?" Nuri said as Spica prepared the cake.

"Of course, love. You see the calendar?"

"Oh yeah...darn it."

"You haven't even bought me or Hana a present. And you call yourself a man..."

"Hey, I gave stuff for you to bake that Vanilla whatever the heck that is, right? That's gotta count for something."

"I want a dress. Preferably something to tease you with."

"Tease me...with?" A drop of blood was coming out of Nuri's nose.

"You're so lewd," she hissed, before giggling and placing the cake in the oven. "Let me place a couple more and...done. Three cakes. Now we just have to wait for them to finish."

"Okay. Well, I gotta go, Hana is meeting me at Blue Lagoon in an hour so...hasta la vista?" Nuri was about to make the mad dash out of the clubhouse but Spica was lighting quick and tackled him, pinning him to the floor. "Nooooooo!"

"You're not getting away from me this time," Spica whispered, clearly in heat and sweating. She was straddling Nuri, who was frozen and helpless. Undoing her bun, she was about to undo her apron as well. "I...want...you..."

"Hana! Save me!" Nuri wailed.

The door broke open. "Nuri!" It was Hana, dressed in her checkered bikini and angel wings.

"Oh thank God you're here!"

"Why are you...are you cheating on me, Nuri! How could...how could you..."

"No, I can explain, Hana! Please let me explain."

"Hana, I'm not going to let you have Nuri. He belongs to me. And I'm baking some cakes for him."

"Nuri was my boyfriend before you arrived on this island months ago," Hana said, furious as ever. "We were together since forever, and I am not going to let you have him!"

"Um, ladies, we can settle this like good sports with a stroke match on this course, right?" Nuri said, sweatdrops on his head. Hana and Spica looked at him with looks of rage. "First one with the better score and more Pang wins?"

"I'll do my best!" they both said before looking at each other, a lightning bolt separating both of them.

"I knew I should have taken it easy today," Nuri wailed.

"My my my, it looks like our boy's caught in a love triangle," Azer said, appearing out of nowhere.

"Huh? Azer!? Where did you...!?"

"Such a lovers' quarrel must be resolved through sporting means," Kaz said, decked out in his cardinal regalia.

"Kaz, you too?"

"I gotta see this," Cecelia said, adjusting her under-rims while in a Sonia outfit.

"Cecelia!"

"You people make me sick," Kooh deadpanned. She was dressed like Kyouko Sakura, for some odd reason, taiyaki and all.

"This...isn't something you would understand, Kooh."

"A challenge has been issued," Max said, rubbing his hands while in a grey shirt and jeans.

"Come on, Max..."

"I never thought I would see a rivalry between Hana and Spica," Lucia said in her cheerleader uniform. "Totally unexpected."

"Same here..."

"This may not end well for one," Arin said, dressed in a Chrismas get-up.

"Obviously!" said the others except for Nell.

"Good luck to all," Nell said. They all looked at her with confused stares. "I'm such a fool..."

Most of the crew would be watching the duel via closed circuit TV as the cakes continued to bake. Hana finished her round a -13 but bogeyed the last hole after failing to put power to her putting to save par following a failed tomahawk shot. She also earned 420 pang for her efforts. That meant Spica needed to score just a -13 and 421 pang to win the duel.

She never came close. Spica only hit an -8 and earned just 120 pang for her thoughts. She fell to her knees and was disconsolate. She didn't know what to do as the tears fell from her eyes.

"You all right?" Nuri asked as he and Hana went to her.

"Why...why can't I beat you two at golf?" Spica sobbed as ROI consoled her. "Why can't I win? Why does life have to be so cruel?"

"It's all right, at least you tried," Hana said. She offered a hand. "Can you stand?"

"Yeah..." She got up. "Good game."

Hana gave her a hug. "I know. You know, Spica, like I said, we've been here longer, so we know the course better than you do. You're not bad at Tomahawking, though. You're getting better."

"Thanks Hana. But next time, I will beat you!" Spica said with a wink, still brushing a tear.

"We'll see."

Nuri grabbed both of them by the hand. "At least we can be assured that you are a great baker."

"I was a pastry chef when I was on Zephyr, so, you know," she said, blushing, "it kind of rubbed off on me."

"Speaking of baker," Hana said, "don't you think we're missing something here?"

On cue, Nuri's phone rang. "Hello."

"Hey Nuri!"

"Kaz? What is it?"

"Get your you-know-what to the clubhouse you ladies' man; I think the cakes are done!" Kaz said.

"The cakes!" the three of them exclaimed.

"Let's head over there!" Nuri hollered.

"Quick!" echoed the other two. By flower, scooter and ROI, they were there in a minute flat.

"Oh, wow!" Spica said, excited and jumping around. "This...is so beautiful! Just like how it said in the cookbook."

"Is this the Vanilla...something something?" Azer asked as Spica brought the cake to the dining room.

"It's called a Vanilla Buche de Noel. A special Christmas cake that is based on a Zephyr recipe handed down generations upon generations."

"Oooooooh," they all said.

"You celebrate Christmas over on your home planet?" Max asked.

"Isn't it a universal holiday?" Spica asked, shrugging as she cut the cake into pieces.

"Not really, but...I guess it's a good thing you are appreciating Christmas out there."

"Excuse me...A.H.M.I.E. has awoken from her dormant state," said A.H.M.I.E. Type S, walking into the room. "Awaiting instructions."

"Can you grab us some food to go with this cake?" Cecelia asked her as Spica and Hana were serving the slices.

"Actually," A.H.M.I.E. said, opening a door, revealing a group of delivery men, "I ordered pizza."

"Awwwwww yeah!" Azer roared. Before he was about to run over to the delivery men, the other guys tackled him, triggering a nosebleed from A.H.M.I.E.

"Overwhelming sight of masculinity detected. Overheating. A.H.M.I.E. will shut down in 5...4...3...2...1...good night, Pangyateers." She collapsed onto a sofa, sleeping ina compromising position.

"Can you guys get off me?" Azer deadpanned.

As the pizza and cake was being consumed along with numerous Arnold Palmers and glassed of wine by the adults, Nell noticed something. "There are two cakes yet to be consumed," she said. "Does anyone want any?"

"We're full," Nuri said, laughing hesitantly. Spica let out a slight belch.

"In that case..." Nell said a prayer and out of nowhere popped Cadie.

"Nell, what is it?" Cadie asked her.

"Miss Cadie, we have a couple of cakes that we want you to convert into other things. Is it possible?"

"Absolutely. And I have some power-ups to get it done. Watch this." Nell beamed as Cadie turned the two unused cakes...into a bevy of gift boxes. "You have Nuri to thank for this."

"Thank you Nuri!" the others said to him.

"Aw geez, it was nothing."

"Let's open those presents," Azer said. "Hey, I got some Christmas Clubs!"

"Some Christmas Comets for me," said Max.

"Same here," Kaz said.

"I got an accessory!" Lucia said. "Wow!"

"I got one too!" Kooh said.

"This is going to look amazing," Cecelia said, trying on her hat.

"I love this hat," Arin said.

"Matching, too!"

"I know, right?" They exchanged high-fives.

"Ooooh, a nice dress," Nell said, opening her present. "I like it."

"Here's yours, Spica," Nuri said, handing her a couple of gifts, "And for you, my dear Hana."

"Thank you, Nuri," they both said.

Spica opened hers first. "Whoa! A Santa Roi mascot and a dress for me! This is wonderful!"

"I also got a dress, too. With clubs," Hana added.

"Looks like I'm the gift that keeps on giving, right everyone?" Nuri said to the others as they had a good laughed and chatted amongst themselves for a few minutes before they took off, leaving Hana, Nuri and Spica.

"A.H.M.I.E. has awakened again," A.H.M.I.E. said, stretching. "Awaiting instructions."

"Go ahead and clean up," Spica said, clapping her hands.

"Understood. Initiating clean-up sequence."

"Well, that was quite a Christmas Party, wasn't it?" asked Nuri to the others.

"I'm getting sleepy," Spica said.

"Me too," Hana added.

"Hey, I've decided that you two can sleep with me tonight upstairs."

"Really?" they both asked, excited.

"Yeah. I'll give in to both of you cause I figured you two were tired of fighting over me today."

"That's true," Spica said. "I'm sorry if I acted rash towards both of you."

"Don't worry about it," Hana said. "There's bigger issues in the world to worry about."

"We got your back, Spica," Nuri added. "We're on your side. Don't forget."

"Thanks." The three of them made their way up the stairs. "My Sweet Christmas indeed, huh?"

Nuri turned to an invisible camera filming them go up the stairs. "You know what they say, we need a little Christmas right this very minute. We need a little Christmas...now."

MY SWEET CHRISTMAS, RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE

THE END