Author's note: all usual disclaimers apply.

The new government's push towards improving the education of the public service was manifesting itself in a plethora of new professional development courses. After finding excuses for as long as they could, DI Tommy Lynley's CID squad was finally made to attend three days of classes. Yesterday had been a unit on Policing Minorities which, although useful background, was of minimal benefit to murder investigations. Over the years they had found that human emotions such as love, jealousy, hatred or greed were still the primary reasons people killed each other.

Today's session was on Practical Decision Making. Tommy had already decided he hated the course. It was going to be a long afternoon made worse by the oppressive atmosphere in the room. The heater had been turned up far too high. Tommy was sweating lightly so removed his jacket and hung it over the back of his chair. He was glad he had eschewed his tie.

The room was hot because their young, rather attractive, female instructor was dressed in a skimpy dress made out of what looked to Lynley to be crepe paper. He spent ten minutes watching it move and listening to it crackle before deciding it was, in fact, cloth. Even so, it was hard to take anyone wearing a crepe paper lookalike seriously.

He glanced around. The squad sat in the standard workshop style - two to a table in a U-shape. Everyone could see each other and Miss Whatever-she-had-said-her-name-was. Three of the young constables looked like beagles preparing for the hunt. Eager eyes darted back and forth assessing who were possible rivals and what chance they had with the young woman. Faraday was trying to see if she had a wedding ring. Butler was busily scanning her legs, and Nkata sat staring higher up. Tommy hoped poor Winston did not start drooling.

Tommy turned to his sergeant who was sitting to his right at the same table. Havers looked bored but gave him a wonderfully warm smile when he rolled his eyes. He was glad this was only a three-hour course and that Barbara had agreed they would go to the pub afterwards. Tommy shifted his chair a little closer to her then leant across to take a mint from the bowl. His arm brushed Barbara's, and to his delight, she did not pull it away. For a moment he left it there, fingers in the mints, while he enjoyed the warmth of her skin against his sleeve. She had been smart enough to wear a short-sleeved shirt, something she rarely did. Her skin would give Tommy something to look at to keep his mind awake.

The next two hours felt like an eternity in hell. Barbara was doing a good job of appearing interested. All the other men were still lecherously watching the instructor. As her dress heated up, it drooped to become more form-hugging. She was attractive, but it had no impact on Tommy. He only had eyes for his sergeant. Every day he hoped he would find a way to tell her that he loved her, but every night he went to bed alone ruing his cowardice. They usually ate together, had a few drinks, and went to the movies or events together. They had even spent a week holidaying together in Scotland after a recent brutal and tiring case. But each night Tommy had bid her good night like the gentleman he was, and let her go to her room without the slightest idea that he wanted her in his arms and his bed. It was terrifying to risk all that they had if Barbara did not return his feelings, and to date, she had given him no clues.

"Time to fill out the decision proforma," Miss Crepe Paper droned. "Think of your most difficult decision. Write it out as a question then fill in the pros and cons in each column. Add a few notes if you need to clarify any of your statements."

Tommy looked across to check Barbara could not see his page, then wrote his question: Should I ask Barbara to marry me? He started with the list of pros:

I love her - that one needed no further explanation

I need her - she is my world, my reason for living

I can't see a future without her - I want to spend my life with her. He briefly wondered if that was a separate point but decided it was the same.

I want to sleep beside her every night - I want to hold her and be held by her

I want her to have my children - I want to make little people who have our blood mingled in a way I want to merge with her. Tommy smiled as he thought if he came across this in a suspect's house, he would assume he was the perpetrator. He then added Barbara would be a wonderful mother.

He decided he needed to be honest so added, I want to have sex with her, as often as possible. He scratched out 'have sex' and wrote 'make love'.

She is the only person I trust

She is the only person who never judges me

She makes me feel like a king

She's my best friend

She is not afraid to put me in my place

We balance each other - great team

She's the only person I can ever be completely honest with - except about this you fool!

She's my life

Hillier would have a fit!

Tommy sighed heavily as he turned his attention to the cons.

I don't know how she feels - does she love me too?

Does she love me that way?

We would have to give up working together

Barbara hates the aristocracy

She would not want to be Countess and forced to dress up and accompany me to events.

Barbara is scared of love.

What if our bickering became real? I can't endure another miserable marriage.

Ghost of Helen - she was also my best friend. Barbara might not believe this is real.

Don't know how to ask her.

I'm scared of what happens if she says no - is it better not to know? How can I find out without risking being hurt?

"That's probably enough points. If you haven't started yet, give them a weighting out of ten for importance, then give a rating out of ten for impact. You have five minutes."

Tommy scribbled some numbers against each point. I love her, I need her, and She's my life received maximum points as did the cons Does she love me that way, I don't know how to ask her and not want to be Countess.

"Choose your top six for weighting from each column, multiply the weighting and the rating then add them up. Which side has the highest score? Pros or cons?"

Tommy quickly did the maths. Pros 580 Cons 460.

"So the highest score should be your decision."

Tommy smiled ruefully. If only it were that easy.

Miss Crepe Paper smiled seductively and flicked her red hair over her shoulder. "Now that is a very subjective viewpoint. The best decisions in your environment come from collaborative decision making where pros and cons are canvassed from many parties and collectively weighted and rated. This can be done by asking people to fill out the forms individually, then adding it all up. Or it can be done collectively in a meeting filling out one form based on everyone's input. Right, to learn about divergent views, let's swap papers with the person at your table."

Tommy's eyes went wide, and his heart raced. "No!"

"Inspector?" Crepe Paper asked.

"My decision was... highly personal. I can't share it with Sergeant Havers."

"Okay well, perhaps you could swap with Constable Nkata?"

"No! No, I can't give it to anyone."

Barbara put her hand on his arm. "It's okay, Sir. I won't share your secrets."

Tommy leant close to her. "You don't understand; I can't."

"You're making a scene, and everyone will talk," she hiss-whispered, "I thought you trusted me."

Tommy groaned. "I do."

Barbara grabbed his paper and slid hers across in front of him. "All sorted," she said brightly.

Tommy watched in horror as she read the question. Her facial expression gave nothing away, but colour rose up her neck and spread across her face. She picked up her pen and started scribbling. Tommy looked back at her page. Her decision was about call rosters, a subject he could not care less about at the moment. He sat staring at the page, unable to look left or right.

Barbara grunted once. It sounded indignant. His life was falling apart around him.

"Right. Turn to your partner and talk through your answers. Focus on any differences and why."

Barbara shoved the page in front of him. He did not want to look and closed his eyes.

"So?" Barbara asked.

He sighed then opened his eyes. At the top of the page, she had written her ratings - Pros 600, Cons - 150. He looked across at her. She smiled at him the way she sometimes did at the pub. "You'd say yes?"

"Read my comments."

He glanced down. She had ticked all the pros and corrected my 80 for wanting to make love to 100. Against the cons, she had written answers.

I don't know how she feels - does she love me too? You never asked, but YES, I have done for years

Does she love me that way? Oh yes!

We would have to give up working together Agree, big issue

Barbara hates the aristocracy I understand it more now, not a showstopper

She would resent being Countess and forced to dress up and accompany me to events. No, but you'd have to teach me how to behave, and accept my faux pas

Barbara is scared of love. Am I? Probably, but not insurmountable

What if our bickering became real? I can't endure another miserable marriage. It won't be.

Ghost of Helen - she was also my best friend. Barbara might not believe this is real. I was wrong to push you together. I only did it because I thought she'd make you happy. I love you in a way she never could.

Don't know how to ask her. Try, 'Barbara, I love you. Will you marry me?'

I'm scared of what happens if she says no - is it better not to know? How can I find out without risking being hurt? You can't know without asking, but you're a detective, if you read above, you should be able to deduce my answer.

Tommy turned to Barbara. He could not stop smiling. He leant towards her, planning to kiss her, irrespective of who was watching.

"Right. Enough time,' Crepe Paper said. "I hope you all have a better understanding now of how problems and decisions can be viewed differently but other people..."

The moment was lost. Tommy fidgeted as he waited for the instructor to finish wrapping up their session. As they left the room, Barbara's face remained neutral. "Sergeant, can I have a word in my office before we all go home?"

"Of course, Sir."

Tommy walked as quickly as he could along the corridor and into his office. He locked the door behind them and closed the blind on the window. He turned to Barbara who looked nervous. Tommy knelt in front of her. "I've been a fool. I should have asked you months, maybe years, ago. Barbara, I love you, and I want us to be together forever. Will you marry me?"

Barbara cocked her head and bit her lip. Tommy heard his heart thumping in his chest. "Mmm... Yes, of course, I'll marry you."

Tommy stood and pulled her into his arms. "I promise, you'll never regret it."

"I know. Will you kiss me now? I've been waiting for a decade."

Tommy laughed then kissed her softly. He knew as soon as their lips touched that she was right, he would never regret asking.