Half a Heart

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns all her characters. One Direction owns their amazing song Half a Heart which was inspiration for this one-shot.

Wessa – Angst/Romance.

Modern AU.

Enjoy. X Plus, my holidays are coming up soon so send in some prompts and I'll get a list going… I hope. ;) – This is dedicated to Her0ngray who has been an amazing supporter of my writings over the last few months and without her reviews, support and just overall amazing friendship I think I would have given up on posting these a while ago, so do enjoy and yeah thanks. ps. She's amazing.. unless I forgot to say that already.

"And being here without you, is like I'm waking up to, only half a blue sky, kind of there but not quite. I'm walking around with just one shoe; I'm half a heart without you. I'm half a man at best, with half an arrow in my chest. I miss everything we do; I'm half a heart without you." – One Direction; Half a heart.

Tessa roamed around the bustling streets of London, no destination in mind; only a distraction. She just had the worst day of her life; well not literally but it ranked up quite high on the list. Just when she thought she was excelling at her job and able to pay the rent her boss Mortmain had come to her office this morning to inform her that her abilities and skills were no longer needed within the company. Basically she was fired. Soon after that she returned home only to have an argument with her roommate who she wasn't fairing with too well already. The pretty blonde called Jessamine that she lived with started complaining about the smallest things, setting Tessa off in an even worse mood than before. For the cherry on top of the messy disaster that her Friday was her best friend ignoring all her calls. She'd called William countless amounts of times within the last week, and sent emails as well. She understood that he was busy, but not returning one call, one message, even just to say that he was busy, or didn't have time. She got the picture that he didn't want to see her anymore, didn't want to be friends with her. She felt alone at this point. She sighed, frustrated at her messed up life at this current point in time. She didn't know why but she just felt so alone, half a heart in everything she did and that's not how she wanted to live. She wanted a life of adventure, excitement, and a heart consuming romance. If she was honest with herself, she wished she hadn't come to London in the first place. She was naïve to think that she'd be able to get by, not only with the payments but with a real life. She should have just stayed in America, living with her aunt in their rubbish apartment in the rundown parts of New York City…. At least she knew the place. Before she knew it, she was in the middle of Hyde Park. She looked around and it was fairly empty, most likely due to the horrid weather. Son enough the rain started falling down almost mathematically, soaking Tessa in water as it fell. She cursed herself and wished she had taken her coat when she left the apartment. She ran over to a corner book shop across the street, scurrying inside before she caught a cold or hypothermia. Once inside she relished in the warmth of the vintage shop and admired the beautiful set up and warm lighting the store offered. It also smelt like fresh coffee beans which made it feel that much more welcoming, at least the books would be there for her when her friends weren't. She decided to look around, browsing a few books before figuring out where to go next. Whilst looking at the new crime novel by Dan Brown she heard the echo of a familiar laugh. She turned a corner, peeping through a gap in-between the bookshelves and was met with an unexpected surprise. There sat William and Jem on the opposite side of the store enjoying a cup of tea and each other's company. She wondered if she should go over and say hello when she realised that this was the first time she'd seen William face to face in some words in over two weeks and there had been radio silence between the two for over a month now. Not just typically both of them either, he just hadn't been replying to any voicemail messages of texts. This hurt Tessa because she thought they were best friends. They'd known each other for years now and he wasn't just any acquaintance. She didn't know why but she had the urge to call his phone and see if he would pick up, in order to see if he was truly ignoring her. She promised herself that if he didn't pick up, and visibly showed no acknowledgement for her call then she would leave him alone. She felt quite insolent calling him every five seconds when he didn't even want her company. It was better that she left him alone…that is if he didn't pick up. For some reason she had this string of hope inside her, praying that he'd just been busy. Her finger touched the cold glass of her screen and it started to call his phone. A few moments later the call went through bringing Jem and William out of their deep conversation. William picked up his phone, his blue eyes staring at the name on screen. She watched him hesitate and then press the hang up button ending the call. Tessa moved back away from the shelf in defeat. He didn't pick up, he didn't answer… he didn't care. Disappointment and abandonment swirled deep within her emotions and there was a sick feeling in the bottom of her stomach. She needed to get out of the store… and now. She took a few deep breaths, pushing back tears that were fighting their way through and walked out of the bookstore as quickly and inconspicuously as possible; welcoming the weather to shower her, after all how could the day get any worse?

William was engrossed in the current conversation he was having with his best friend. Jem was telling William the exciting tales of his recent trip to Shang Hai, and with these stories came many laughs. They laughed and conversed over tea and coffee in one of William's favourite bookstores. Soon his phone went off interrupting the conversation. He slipped the sleek phone out of his coat pocket and saw Tessa's name pop on the screen in block letters. She had been calling him all week and each time he clicked the red button guilt coursed throughout him but he knew that this was for the best. Distance is what they needed. Every day he spent being her best friend, he spent another dying inside that he couldn't be more than that with her. He doubted she could ever love him, so he kept his secret to himself… well at least he tried to. The only other person that did know was sitting right across from him. Jem knew what William had just done and has been doing over the course of the last month. Jem glared at William from across the table, taking a sip of the hazelnut latte coming from the steaming cup in front of him.

"William." Jem warned, and just by him using his first name William knew that he was about to get a lecture… and one from his best friend at that.

"Please don't tell me that was yet another call that you ignored from her." Jem sighed, crossing his legs to get into a comfortable position on the chair.

"Fine then; I won't tell you anything." William said, nonchalantly placing his phone down on the table.

"Honest is really the best policy. Just tell her how you feel, this whole ignoring thing you are doing is going to backfire, you do know that don't you." Jem advised.

"I'm not; I'm just trying to protect myself and her as well from a very awkward conversation." William said, lying yet again straight through his teeth.

"Liar." Jem commented; rolling his eyes. "How do you know she doesn't feel the same way?" Jem asked curiously, trying to get his friend to see the light… or at least reality.

"She doesn't." was William's short reply, and a brooding look fell upon his face and Jem wanted to laugh at him. He was acting like a teenage boy. You'd think at the age of 24 William would have grown up a little bit.

"You really are horrible. You think that you are saving yourself from heart break well here's the reality check that no one's given you. She doesn't know. So right now, she just thinks that you" he pointed at him "her best friend is ignoring her and doesn't want anything to do with her, you are hurting her more than protecting her." Jem commented, crossing his arms. He just wanted the two to fix up their silly radio silence they had going on and possibly salvage what's left of their friendship, even possible move onto something more. William sat in silence for a moment, contemplating what Jem had just said and figured he might call her later then, just so that everything was ok…He didn't want to hurt her.

"Fine, I'll call her. I've best leave now, got a few things to do at my apartment." William said, hugging Jem and heading off and out into the cold weather, heading towards his apartment. About a block away from the coffee shop he spotted a girl sitting on a bench across the street, her back towards him. The heavy rain poured down on her, soaking her entirely and she just sat there still. He shrugged at this stranger's weird behaviour and made his way home, thinking about the many ways he would plead to Tessa, apologising for his weird behaviour and not calling back. He would apologise for being scared of his feelings. He would apologise for being irrefutably in love with her for the last five years.

Soon enough he reached his apartment, slightly wet from the weather. He stripped off into some dry clothes and grabbed his phone; hesitating but he called her phone. It rang the first time and no one picked up. He sat down on his couch, his phone sitting on the coffee table in front of him and he stared at it intently, waiting for her name to pop up on screen calling him back, but it never came. Seconds had passed, then minutes and soon it became an hour. He picked up the phone again calling her, this time leaving a voicemail.

"Tess." He said, and then stopped, he was at a loss, he wasn't sure what he should say. "Tess, I-I was just wondering if you would come over my place so we could chat, I know I've been acting very weird this last month, but I think it's time you know why-Just come over anytime tonight, I'll be home." He said sighing and hanging up the phone, sitting back down on the couch and anxiously waiting for a reply or Tessa to show up on his door-step, he just prayed that she would forgive him for his idiotic behaviour.

On the other side of town Tessa still sat on the park bench, the water fading to a light sprinkle, though her form was still very much drenched in the cold waters of Mother Nature. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and just ignored it; she just needed a moment to herself. Getting the idea of William out of her head and heart was much harder than she thought. He'd been a part of her life for so long and now she was supposed to give him up. Forgetting about her romantic fantasies and desires for a moment, she just thought about their friendship. It was full of compassion and fun and she wasn't sure she was ready to give it up, but seeing him in the café, visibly ignoring her, she couldn't drag him on; it was unfair to force anyone to be her friend and she didn't want to do that to him.

About a half hour later her phone buzzed yet again, and it went to voicemail. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, shielding it with her hands as to avoid it from getting wet and clicked on the replay button. It played back a message from William. He sounded nervous and he asked her to come to his place. She figured it wouldn't be healthy to stay in the cold for any longer and she recognised that she was only a few blocks away from his place. Tessa pulled herself from the bench and forced her legs to move one in front of the other towards his apartment. She already knew that this friendship was doomed, what else was there to lose, it would be better to finalise it all anyway. Ugh. Why were all of these negative thoughts going through her head, she felt quite stupid at this point? She'd probably just taken things out of proportion making them seem worse than they were, but in that moment nothing felt worse than the rejection from someone who she thought she was so close with. Her mind was racing and the cold weather didn't seem to help the ache of thoughts haunting her the last few days.

Soon enough she made it to his place, her clothes were still wet, her hair now wrapped up- a wet tangled mess that seemed to form some sort of pony tail. She brought her hand up and rapped her knuckles on the door three times and waited for William to come. She could almost laugh at her appearance, she was practically drenched in water and well this would be the first time she saw William more than a month's time and it was the first time she didn't have time to worry about how she looked but how she felt. The door flew open and there was William nervously smiling down at her, though when he got a good look worry was etched on his face.

"Tess, what happened? Why are you soaking wet?" he asked, a frown forming on his face.

"Just caught in the rain I guess." She said giving a weak smile before coming into the apartment. The smile faded and she just felt tired, she didn't even know why she was here or the reasoning behind her visit.

"Let's get you changed into something warmer, come you can take a shower before you catch a cold or pneumonia." He mumbled, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the bedroom where he pulled out some warm pants and a jumper for her as well as a towel for the bathroom where he ushered her in, turning on the hot water for her and exiting the bathroom as she took a shower.

Tessa accepted the warm clothes and the towel, quickly relishing in the warmth provided by the water. She finished up her shower quickly, eager to get out of here. She couldn't shake the feeling that he called her over to tell her that he didn't want to be friends, explaining the true reasoning behind him ignoring her for the last month. She dumped her wet clothes in the washing basket and slipped into the soft material of the tracksuit pants and a jumper, leaving her slightly damp hair to air dry. Tessa took a look at herself in the mirror. Her face was pale and she might have caught a cold if it wasn't for William calling her over to his house, she didn't even remember how long she was sitting out on the park bench, must have been at least an hour or more. She tip toed out of the bathroom through the bedroom and into the main foyer where the kitchen, television and couches were all laid out meticulously to fit the small space of the apartment. She didn't move to sit down on the couch next to William- or where he was sitting; he was now standing up straight, just staring at her.

"Thanks for the warm clothes." Tessa mentioned, still standing where she was. There was no sign of emotion on her face, no sadness, anger, happiness… nothing. It was empty, void of any emotion. She was just so tired after the long day with losing her job, having a fight with her less than compatible room mate and now this whole ordeal with William that she was just not bothered to even do anything; say anything.

"It's fine." He replied, and wondered how she had gotten soaked in the rain. Then his mind flashbacked to the girl sitting on the park bench and he realised that it had been her, the same purple coloured cardigan and blue jeans. He froze, he didn't know what to say, somehow he knew that his actions had affected her and he prayed that she would forgive him… if he could actually get his apology out there.

"Tess, I'm so sorry. I know my behaviour in the last month has been unacceptable-"but before he could finish he was cut off by harsh words from Tessa, something he hadn't expected.

"Unacceptable." She scoffed, words suddenly flowing out and anger etched onto every small surface of her face. She couldn't believe his words. Before she was upset, sad, but now she was just angry. He was trying to apologise, but she wouldn't hear any of it.

"What's unacceptable is not replying to a single message, a call from your best friend for a whole month. We've been friends for over 5 years and you what just figure one day you don't want to speak anymore?" she yelled across the room at him, her face red with fury. He moved to open his mouth again but she held a hand up high signalling that she wasn't finished. She took a deep breath trying to calm down before speaking again.

"If you didn't want to be friends with me anymore then you should have just told me, got it out of the way, not ignore me for a month. Do you have any idea how I felt, how I am feeling right now. Do you will?" she said, her voice a harsh whisper. There was a deafening silence for a few seconds but between the two it seemed to stretch on for hours.

"Aren't you even going to bother to explain yourself William?" she asked, tears trickling down her cheeks as he slowly took a few steps towards her, wiping them away with his thumb.

"I don't want to be friends with you anymore." He said, the words coming out the wrong way. He meant that he didn't want to be friends with her anymore because he loved her and wanted to be in a serious relationship, not that he hated her and wanted her to leave him, clearly she didn't get the memo as she brought her hand up and slapped him across the face.

"Bloody hell Tessa, that hurt." He winced slightly, flexing his jaw. He didn't realise that she packed quite a punch. "If you waited for me to explain you'd hear that I don't want to be friends with you anymore Tessa because I'm in love with you." He finally admitted to her, bringing her hand in his.

"I've been in love with you since the day we met those five years ago. Irrefutably and undeniably in love with you Tessa Gray… That is why I didn't call you for the last month. I couldn't just be your friend, every day I was dying inside knowing that I couldn't be yours, knowing that I wouldn't be able to cherish you and be with you… and for that I am truly sorry. So please forgive me for my actions." He confessed.

Tessa just stood there bewildered, did he just-did he just say he loved me? She was still in shock because she still hadn't responded to William and he just chuckled, moving closer to her flustered form and pulling her into a hug.

"I love you Tessa Gray and I'm never letting you go." He whispered to her, his arms wrapped around her securely.

"You love me?" she mumbled into his chest and he whispered yes, his breath tickling her neck as she craned her head back faintly to look at his face.

"Well I'm sorry for slapping you." She smiled.

"Anything else you want to say?" he asked, biting his lip, his heart racing not just because she was so close to him but also in fear that she didn't feel the same way.

"I love you." She said seriously this time, and William's lips met hers in a slow and passionate kiss, his arms going around her legs and hoisting her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.

"I take it I'm forgiven." He whispered his face still close to hers.

"You're going to have to make up for it a lot Mr Herondale." She swooped in for swift kiss, biting his lip slightly.

"Better late than never." He sighed as they kissed yet again and he couldn't get enough of her.

It had been eight months since their fight, eight months since their declaration of love for each other and six months since Tessa had moved into William's apartment. As soon as she told him of the bothersome roommate Jessamine he had offered for her to come and stay with him. It had taken some time for her to accept his offer as she was afraid that they were moving too soon, but then he presented the case that they had been friends for over five years and had been secretly in love with each other for at least half of those so they were just making up for lost time. She just thought he loved the fact that she was living with him now, allowing for certain pastime pleasures to entail.

When William had told Jem of the news Jem had laughed for about ten minutes. The part he loved the best was when Tessa had yelled and slapped William on the face. Jem had smirked and told his friend that if he didn't avoid her and told her earlier that they would have saved themselves much more time and he wouldn't have gotten bitch slapped in the face by the girl that he'd secretly been crushing on for the last half a decade.

Tessa had gotten a new job working in a publishing firm, where she was trying to get her own novel published as well in the process. It opened up many doors for her in the future, unlike her previously boring but manageable job with Mortmain. Her new boss was Charlotte Branwell, a lovely lady whom Tessa soon became very close friends with and her Husband Henry who was too a delightful friend she had made. Life was going good well for everyone it seemed but Jem.

Jem had arrived to William and Tessa's one morning, upset about a girl named Rose, who he had been apparently crushing on. She worked in the hospital with him, though he never had the courage to go and ask her out on a date, and when he was going to- apparently a guy by the name of Gabriel Lightwood had beaten him to it. What William had scoffed at though was the fact that Jem hadn't even told her how he felt, he just assumed and gave up as William had. He relayed the wise words once spoken by Jem himself and told his friend that he needed to go and tell her, who cares if it was rumoured that some guy named Lightworm had asked her out. So Jem did and that was a month ago, it was now Christmas Eve and Charlotte and Henry had come over for tea as well as Jem bringing Rose along and a few other friends of both William and Tessa.

William and Tessa smiled at each other, herself meeting him half way across the living room. They watched their friends dance around them, enjoying themselves around this time of year, everyone harmoniously complimenting each other. He took his eye off of everyone else for a moment to take in his beautiful girlfriend, standing next to him. She was dressed in a gorgeous red dress that was detailed with gold lace; ruby lips to match making William want to kiss her even more so… and it seemed that luck was in his favour as there was a string of mistletoe hanging from the roof right above the two. Tessa blushed faintly and William chuckled moving in and giving her a loving kiss.

"Merry Christmas Tess." He bit his lip and she gave him another kiss on the cheek this time.

"Merry Christmas Will." She smiled at him and the rest of the night entailed dancing, eating delicious foods and bonding over Christmas with their friends, in the end everyone being happy.

I dearly hope that you all enjoyed this. Usually I just post my one-shots on now, but due to this being specially dedicated to the amazing her0ngray, I decided to post it on tumblr as well. If you would like to read more of my stories, go to my page, hit drabbles and the link to my page with all of them listed. ;) Thanks and Happy Holidays to all of you celebrating out there.

xx