Responsive by Peamaps
8.19.2014
Summary: Aragorn ponders on his feelings for Legolas. Slash, R, POV
Responsive.
That's one of the things I most love, most expect when dealing with others. I am grateful to have had such a Fellowship for Frodo was responsive to my efforts to shield, protect and motivate him. I care not for recognition, I only yearned to inspire in him courage or motivate him to continue the quest when I knew most of us would no longer be following him. It happened way before I expected, when everything went wrong, but still I prayed everyday that not only Frodo survived but that in the darkness of his mission he could remember his folk, what he left behind, what was to be happy and what he was fighting for.
I tried to comfort Boromir and be a friend and he was responsive. He answered in a way I didn't expect, showing a loyalty I didn't think I deserved just yet, like I was already his king. I mourn for the brother I lost and I'll never forget how brave he was even in the darkest of hours, and I regret he passed without knowing how HE inspired me. Boromir was a man that would go on even when plagued by doubt, he changed me as well. He never knew that I will try to have this quality of his for as long as I live. I will go on and do everything I have to even though my mind and spirit are full of doubts. Maybe that's why the Valar gave me not one love but two. I am the most blessed of the cursed souls born in this dark times, for I am deeply loved by a pure light while my heart is consumed wholly by the love for another and this love is returned, Valar forgive me but that brings me happiness, consuming and mind blowing happiness, when it shouldn't... I don't deserve it.
In one way of another my brothers of the Fellowship were responsive, they all inspired and changed me as I might have them.
But not response intoxicated me more than the one from the fairest of beings.
It all started so early. I was so young. Young and a fool.
I didn't know myself let alone my heart. When I first saw Arwen I was in awe, now I know not for our meeting but because of all I heard about her coming from those who loved her, my foster father and brothers. We were engaged and speaking of dreams. I thought I was happy and that I was lucky to find my path in such a young age. I couldn't be more wrong.
One day I had only one mission, to take the creature Gollum to the elves of Mirkwood. I was weary and hungry, I hadn't slept for days for Gollum was cunning and I only pretended to rest my eyes but never stopped following his sounds. Maybe that's why when I first saw the Prince I felt I was struck by light.
He was fair beyond words. His humble and elegant demeanor didn't help me, I was already a man, experienced on the ways of the world, I knew the evil of the world, friendship, admiration and gratittude but that's when I first met what love was.
I denied it of course. I could not help myself not to be close friends with him, taking every opportunity I had to travel the wilds with him and was glad he visited me often as well, Arwen was never suspicious and always gave me space to enjoy the company of the fair Prince when he came.
We continued with this close friendship, meeting months apart turned out to not be enough and we also wrote letters to each other. I couldn't help on the days the messenger arrived to also ignore Arwen as when I couldn't help to do when Legolas was there in person. She was always very comprehensive and I love her for that, but my love for her brings me despair for it is the love I have for my brothers Elladan and Elrohir.
Finally came the day I would seem him everyday. Things would get rough and we would have yet our biggest quest, taking the Ring to Mordor was a thousand times more dangerous than any of the perils we faced together in the wild. I knew it was time to end things with Arwen for my love for Legolas only grew and I could not resist him if he showed the smallest interest, I couldn't think of anyone eles and I knew I would never love like this again. He was everything to me. I could only face the quest and maybe to become King if I had his love, hell I could only live if I had his love.
Against all odds we survived the nights in Helm's Deep. I was ashamed to not mourn the many losses we had as relieved I was Legolas was alive. I lost sight of him so many times that I feared the worst. When I found him alive, dirty like I never seen him before I almost embraced him. I almost forgot we were surrounded by others. That was the first time I saw the same relief in his impossibly deep blue eyes, eyes that could sweep me off my feet while filling my spirit with hope. I stopped at once and froze. His eyes were moist and the worry in his brow broke my heart but filled me with happiness because for the first time I saw how much I meant to him. He raised his arms to embrace me but stopped himself, maybe because I was frozed where I stood, or maybe because he became aware of our surroundings. I didn't had any reaction and maybe that's why we didn't declare our love right there and then, the moment was over, but we were closer than never before. There was a quiet understanding and from that day on we sat together and didn't shy away when our shoulders or legs touched anymore, we actually started to maintain a part of our bodies slightly connected everytime we were near each other.
We held our desire even facing certain death protecting Rohan for we respected and loved Arwen, but when I decided to give Frodo a last chance and that we should march right at the enemy's door we couldn't pretend any longer. He knew I tried to break things with Arwen but to be with someone else even then seemed to betray the memory of her but at the face of a no tomorrow we gave in. There was nothing or anyone else that night. I was having a nightmare when I was awaken by him. He was leaning over me, his lean, white hand was touching my brow and all I could see in the little light the tent had was his full lips. They were parted and inviting and I could resist him no longer. I initiated but he was responsive, even more than I fantasized him to be. He moaned into my mouth and I lost my mind. I had a hand full of golden hair and the other touching him everywhere I could. There was not much light until I disrobed him, when I did so it was like being struck by light again, he lit the inside of the tent and I hungrily touched, kissed and specially feasted my eyes on his flawless ethereal skin. I reached everywhere and I know while I live and for all eternity I will never forget his form, it is the most fitting for such a beautiful and noble soul he is.
I loved him completely, he was eager and writhed under me making me mad. I will never forget how his voice changes as he moans when lost in passion or his face as his eyes remained closed, lost in the sensations. He has no idea how sensual he is. While awake and about he is the personification of decorum but in bed he is passionate and... so responsive.
Now I lay here. Legolas is lost in his dreams. His eyes beautiful glazed towards the top of the tent. He seems content. From this angle I swear he seems to have a faint smile, I can be wrong.
I wonder if Arwen sailed and if she didn't which I begged her to if Legolas will step aside. If I'll have the courage to condemn yet another immortal to death. She wanted to but would Legolas give up his mortal life for me? I don't wish him that just to know if the loves me the way I love him. I'll never forget his look while seeing me alive at Helm's Deep, it betrayed his love, but I wish to know how much he feels for my love him is so grand it hurts, it consumes me to the brink of madness. I wonder if in the end, if we survive this and Arwen was still here if you would smile and step aside, giving her permission.
How would you respond?
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