"You know, we're really bad at this."
"Eating dinner? You seem to be doing a fine job of making your way through that steak. Haven't you eaten in the last month?"
Ryan gave one of his rare smiles, enjoying sparring again with the girl sitting across the restaurant table from him. "What I mean is, we don't meet up as often as we should. This is the first time in what? 18 months?"
Ryan felt guilty, 18 months sounded like such a long time but he felt like he had been constantly busy for all that time. Even the summer had been full of trips; the East Coast with Seth and Summer, a trip to Europe with friends from Berkley, a big family vacation with the Cohens and a few weeks work experience in San Francisco. Somewhere along the line keeping up with old girlfriends had slipped by the wayside.
"Well we're here now and between jobs, families, you at college and us in different cities – I think we do alright," said Teresa and she smiled reassuringly.
They fell into a comfortable silence as Ryan pondered the point. It was great to see Teresa again but the truth was that things were probably as friendly as they were because of the infrequencies of their meetings. Reminiscing about old times, catching up and sharing some laughs, they were great links to his past. A comfort he knew he could rely on and something that he knew connected her to time before she was businesswoman and mother. But the angst and anguish which was once a constant in their relationship was gone and in essence so was the need to be in each other's daily lives.
"So, senior year?" Asked Teresa "you feeling the pressure yet?"
"Oh yeah. Definitely. At least I have a plan though. Position at a firm in San Francisco set up and waiting for me, just have to get through the finals. Meanwhile Seth is flapping round like a headless chicken trying to decide what to do."
"I thought he was doing well at his school"
"He is. Looks like he'll be able to get a job almost anywhere."
"And?" Teresa prompted.
"Seth can't handle too many choices. It makes him crazy…er."
Teresa chuckled "And Summer?"
"Well she is the girl-genius who is graduating from Brown after 3 years and can join GEORGE offices on either coast". Ryan smiled to himself thinking about Seth and Summer. Watching them grow up over the past few years had been great. They had managed the long distance thing sensibly and hit their stride in Rhode Island when Summer went back to Brown after a year with GEORGE.
Ryan was rooting for California to win out in their decisions for the future but he wasn't too worried about them deciding to stay on the East Coast. Despite the distance Ryan felt as close as ever with his best friends and this had helped dispel his old fears of far-away equalling completely gone.
He briefly let his mind wander, thinking about why long distance worked for some and not others, before slamming the mental door shut and focusing back on dinner.
Teresa continued to ask him about school and Ryan asked her about work. They covered families; her mother and son, the Cohens, Sophie (including the 4 year-old's current obsession with snakes). They were onto the coffees when the subject of romance came up.
"It's early days" admitted Teresa, "but he is a great guy, good with Daniel and I think it might be going somewhere." The happiness on Teresa's face was enough to convince Ryan that she was genuine and he was pleased for her. "What about you?" she continued, "What happened to that girl? Kate?"
"Claire? That was months ago. Never really got started."
There was a pause and Teresa rapped her nails on the table, "Ryan Atwood. Always such an open book." Ryan smiled slightly but didn't say anything. Teresa, bolstered by the wine at dinner, pressed on for gossip, "Back in High School you were a serial monogamist. You always had girl drama and now, Kate-"
"Claire!" Ryan corrected, laughing at Teresa's lecture. She sounded just like Kirsten.
"Claire, right. A non-starter. There was that awful girl a couple of years back - Nicole." Teresa performed a mock shudder.
"Nicole wasn't that bad"
"Oh please, she was scared of her own shadow, a complete wimp. She couldn't open a soda can without your assistance!"
Teresa continued to list her problems with Nicole and Ryan couldn't really argue. She had been a bit of a disaster. He nodded to the waiter for the bill, thinking it was about time he got Teresa home "I think I'll call you a cab." Teresa didn't seem to notice as she carried on her rant.
"And I never heard about any other girls since Taylor."
Ryan carried on smiling but it was now through a clenched jaw. He hoped Teresa didn't notice. How had they ended up talking about this? Teresa was surely a good bet for a Taylor-free conversation. He thought it would be easy to avoid those awful conversational black holes that could happen when talking to Summer or Kaitlin. Now he was desperate for the conversation to end and the bill to be paid. He tried to keep his voice light like it had been a moment before "Yeah, Taylor was a kook." He signed the check and stood up.
"She was a little strange, sure. I mean, prom night? I was witness to some very strange three-way flirting that night. In Korean! But get to know her a little better and it's easy to see she's such a sweet girl."
Ryan stopped and straightened up and lost the fake smile, "Wait, when did you get to know her better?"
"We had dinner together in Newport, years ago." Teresa was putting on her coat; obviously unaware of the effect the conversation was having on Ryan.
"When?" Ryan asked. He could imagine Taylor tracking Teresa down for an interrogation when she was 'stalking' him.
Teresa shifted her coat a little and looked over at Ryan, suddenly reluctant to talk, "after the funeral - Marissa's funeral." Her voice trailed off. "Sorry Ry, I assumed you knew."
Marissa was a subject he and Teresa generally didn't touch on. Ryan had spent a long time working out everything in his head that was Marissa-related, but it still wasn't something he could really talk to her about after all their years of drama.
But now his head was swimming with questions. Why were they having dinner? Was it just the two of them? Why were they in Newport? Teresa had answered the last question - the funeral. He had missed it, left before everyone poured into town. He had missed Jimmy, Haley, Luke and Summer mentioned once that Alex had shown up. But he'd never thought about Taylor being there. Then again, he always tried to keep Marissa and Taylor pretty separate in his mind.
Teresa had gone quiet. She felt bad for accidentally raising the issue of Marissa and making a mess of the conversation. They made their way outside the restaurant and recovered slightly with some more small talk and parted on friendly, albeit slightly muted, terms.
Ryan had the windows down on the drive home. He only one glass of the wine at dinner but concentrating on driving was becoming an issue because of the sheer number of thoughts filling his head. Thoughts he'd had locked away for three years. This was the last thing he needed just a couple of months before finals. Memories flooding back to him. Memories of perfect smiles, of red dresses and of peaches.