The Cave of Ordeals, what really happened in there. Enjoy!
It was another hot day without a cloud in the sky. The desert proved to be the hottest place in Hyrule, and Midna was letting Link know it.
"Link! Come on, we have to save Zelda! It's hot in this stupid desert, and I am sweating like a pig. Besides, we are wasting time, lets go!" Midna fanned herself with her hand, and sank down to the ground, pretending to be too exhausted from the heat to stay up in the air. Link shook his head and looked toward the ground, where a cave could be seen. It sank deep into the ground, and it was darker than night. Link could identify a staircase that led into the depths of the cave, and he was ready to go.
"This, Midna, is the Cave of Ordeals," Link said, waving a hand toward the hole. "In there, there are many ordeals that I must face to prove myself as a hero. I must fight whatever is in there. I must, as a hero." Midna rolled her eyes. "Cut the drama, "hero." Aren't you already proving yourself as a hero by defeating Zant, and saving Hyrule? And when you defeat Ganondorf, you will be the greatest hero of all time!" Link ignored the cursed imp, and headed down into the darkness.
"Wait! Link, come back! You can always do this another time! Why not after you beat Ganondorf?" Midna called hysterically. Link looked over his shoulder. "If I can beat this cave, then I defeat Ganondorf."
Link disappeared. Midna looked around the desert, and spotted Molodrm a coming her way. It's three- way mouth opened, and a strange hissing sound escaped from the strange creature. "Link! Wait up!" called Midna, as she got up from the sand and followed her partner into the cave.
Inside, it was terribly dark. Two torches hung from the cave walls, and from them the fire barely lit the whole room. It was musty, and a strange sound, the sound of monsters, echoed throughout the cave.
Link walked over to the back of the room, and almost fell. He was standing on a cliff, looking down into a pit, where a bokoblin, a purple monster with white hair and a pathetic weapon, stood. It made grunting noises, obviously from boredom, and walked around in circles to keep itself entertained. Link smiled smugly, and crossed his arms. "See, Midna? I must defeat that monster to prove myself. This should be a piece of cake. As soon as I slay the fiend, I will walk out of here triumphed, and then I will make my way toward the castle where Ganondorf is, and where he holds the Princess Zelda captive." Midna, looking into the pit, scoffed. "Link, that thing in nothing compared to Ganondorf, let alone any other monster you have fought. You have been reading too many comic books. Besides, I thought this was the Cave of Ordeals, not the Cave of an Ordeal. More than one battle, idiot. I'm sure with every battle, it will get harder and harder." Link laughed at Midna. "Nonsense! It is obvious that there is no other monsters in here, and there is no other doors in this place, either." Link withdrew his sword. "Now, fiend, prepare to die!"
Link jumped into the pit, letting out a battle cry. The bokoblin, hearing the cry, turned in shock. As soon as Link landed, the monster let out a screech, happy for a new victim, and charged. Its sword dragged in the dirt as it waddled toward Link, and it continued to shriek. Link watched as the monster drew near, then without warning Link stabbed.
It was a pathetically quick battle. With two strokes of his sword, Link killed the bokoblin. He smiled at Midna, with a look of "I told you so" on his face. "See, Midna. Piece of cake," Link said, putting away his sword. "I have defeated the monster, and conquered the Cave of Ordeals. Now, off to see Ganondorf! But how to get out of here…" Link quickly searched the room, without finding any escape route. Just as he was, there was a low rumbling sound. Link and Midna turned to see a large part of the cave wall sink into the ground, revealing another room and two more dim torches. Link gasped, and it was Midna's turn to have the look of "I told you so."
The next room contained three keese, bat-like creatures with hooks for tails, and three rats. The air was filled with high-pitched squeaks. Link and Midna stood on the edge of the cliff, watching the keese and the rats. Link shook his head. "Please, this will be easy. This cave has nothing to offer that is hard." Link snatched his bow, and notched an arrow. "Watch this, Midna," he said, as he pulled back on the string. As he did, the wood of the bow groaned and the string snapped, cleanly in half.
"What the…!" Link cursed, examining his bow, as if he couldn't believe. Midna, meanwhile, and doubled over, laughing. Her laughter caught the attention of the keese and the rats, and the creatures made their way to where Link stood. Chattering and screeching with excitement, the monsters waited expectedly for Link to jump so that they can attack.
Link looked at Midna. "What should I do!" he asked, worry in his voice. Midna examined her fingernails. "Oh, I don't know. Why should I know? After all, I thought that we should go beat Ganondorf right now, but of course, Link, you know better, as always. Figure it out yourself, genius," Midna said. Link was appalled. "You're my partner! You're suppose to help me when I am in trouble!" he yelled. Midna shrugged. "I help you when I get you in the trouble. This time, you got yourself in trouble. Get out yourself." She smiled. "Good luck!"
Link glared at Midna. "Fine, I don't need you. Go back, and you'll see." Midna smiled large enough for her teeth to be shown, and she was off.
It was only ten minutes before Link suddenly appeared outside the Cave of Ordeals. In his hand he held a hilt with a broken blade. He no longer had a shield, and his clothing had been shredded, but enough was left to leave him dignity. That is, if he had any more dignity after this.
"It…was…horrible!" Link cried before collapsing on the ground. Midna fell to the ground and shook Link. "Link? Yo, Link? Time to go save Zelda. Hello? Anyone home?" But Link had fallen fast asleep.
Midna was about to get worried when suddenly a women appeared before her. She had multiple rainbow colored wings with silver hair, and she was naked, save for her long hair covering her upper body and a translucent, rainbow colored cloth loosely tied around her waist. She got down on her knees, so that she was level with Midna's face, and began to speak, her voice filled sounding like bells, and almost sang.
"I am the Great Fairy. I dwell in the Cave of Ordeals, waiting hero's to come and take my challenge. I must say, out of all the people who have come into my cave, Link has proven to be the most entertaining."
"And how is that, Great Fairy?" Midna questioned, even though she already knew the answer.
The fairy chuckled. "As soon as you left, he jumped into the room full of rats and keese, and immediately drew out his sword and hit a rock. The blade shattered. He spent the rest of the battle using his clawshot to kill his enemies, and in desperation threw his shield at the last rat. In the next room, he ran into a wall, because he couldn't see without some form of light. In the fourth room, he tripped and fell face first into some waste left behind from the monster." Midna muttered, "That explains the smell."
The fairy smiled. "Yes, and I must say it only gets worse from there. He never even made it out of room five. I ended up retrieving him. Did you know he talks in his sleep? He kept saying 'Mommy' over and over again. It was rather amusing. " Midna sighed. Link was so hopeless. Shaking her head, she thanked the fairy. "Not for bringing him to me, of course, or saving him, but for putting up with him and his stupid habits." The fairy stood. "My pleasure."
The fairy turned into a cloud of sparkles. Link groaned, and raised his head. "Did I conquer?" he asked. Midna shook her head. "No." And to herself, "Hyrule is doomed."