So, chanceoftsunderestorms on tumblr posted all of these SnowxHope headcanons and I decided to sit down and write one! I hope you like enjoy it.
When Serah and Noel stumbled back into Academia, Hope wasn't surprised. The two time travelers visited often for bits of advice and to offer gravitation cores for his ark. But Hope had to admit that he'd never seen Serah look so wistful and melancholy from one of their scavenger hunts. It was worrying, but Hope didn't know how to ask without sounding nosy. Instead, he gave them both a small smile and waved them over.
"Welcome back you two, I hope your latest adventure was fruitful," Hope said.
Serah nodded her head. "We gave another gravitation core to Alyssa just a second ago, that makes six of them," she said proudly, and Hope felt his smile widen.
"I cannot thank you two enough for doing this."
"Well, you can't just thank us this time, you'd also have to thank that big idiot," Noel said, scratching the back of his head.
Hope's eyebrows furrow at the statement. "Big idiot?"
Serah's eyes brightened considerably. "Oh, Hope! You wouldn't believe it, but we saw Snow in Sunleth Waterscape!"
He felt his mind come to a sudden halt. "Snow?" he whispered, not believing what he was hearing. When was the last time he had even heard any news about him? "That's… that must have been a shock." He couldn't seem to make a coherent thought form about the news.
Serah didn't seem to notice though. "Yeah, he's been fighting this ginormous flan, protecting Fang and Vanille," she paused and seemed to be searching for the right way to phrase her next statement. "He's trying to do what's right, but I wish he'd be more careful."
Noel snorted beside her. "I don't think Snow knows how to be careful. He's reckless is what he is, he almost got himself killed before we helped him out," Noel grumbled.
Noel and Serah continued their commentary on Snow's appearance in Sunleth Waterscape, but Hope had tuned them out. The sudden panic that was released in Hope made him close his eyes and take a deep breath. That couldn't be true. Snow was strong, physically stronger than Lightning, and he'd been the best sentinel in the group when they were traveling together. And he was a l'cie again, right? From what he'd picked up from Serah and Noel he was. How long had he been there anyway? Was there a way to solve that paradox and bring him home? And Hope felt a selfish desire fester in his chest. Snow had become one of his closest friends and he couldn't deny that there was an attraction to the man. He wanted Snow with him, in Academia. Snow'd be here with Hope and safe and Serah could- Serah could visit him now. Serah and Noel could visit him any time they wanted to. Was it so wrong for Hope to finally want something for himself since his desire to save his mother and Vanille and Fang? He just wanted-
"Hope?" Serah's voice cut through Hope's thoughts.
"I'm sorry, Serah, what did you say?" Hope asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. He couldn't dwell on this right now.
"I was just wondering if we could use those rooms again like we did last time."
Nodding his head, Hope gesture for them to follow him. "Yes, of course, just let me do one more thing."
Hope walked over to one of his scientists. "Specialist Avery, I have a task for you," he said softly. Avery nodded his head firmly and waited for his instructions. "There has been a… report on some paradox activity in the Sunleth Waterscape. Would you take your team and report on any unusual findings?"
"Are you sure, Director Estheim? Shouldn't we focus all our efforts on the ark?" Avery asked, though he was already sending out a message to his team.
"It's something that garners looking into, and I would appreciate it if you would do this for me."
"My team should be out in an hour and I'll report our findings to you by this evening."
Hope clapped a hand on the man's shoulder. "Thank you, Avery, I look forward to your report."
He could allow a team of scientist could be gone for a day, the ark was already ahead of schedule. Maybe he just wanted to confirm that everything was okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~
He'd seen Serah and Noel to their room to rest before returning back to his work station. And clearly he was fooling himself because he'd been staring at the same screen for almost thirty minutes now. The pace of his work had slowly decreased as the time grew closer and closer to Avery's return. Worrying wasn't doing him any good, but he couldn't seem to stop.
"Director?" Avery asked, making Hope turn around fast enough to almost give himself whiplash.
"Avery," Hope said, keeping his voice inviting and calm. It would not do to panic before he even heard any news. "What did you and your team discover?"
Avery looked a bit contrite at the question but cleared his throat to speak. "On our expedition to Sunleth Waterscape, we were unable to find any unusual things. The monster activity seems to have quelled down from what it has been in previous years and we found no evidence of any paradoxes."
"So, nothing unusual?" Hope asked for clarification. He already felt better about the whole situation.
"Unless you count a flan who seems to have a knack for fashion, no," Avery said with a chuckle. Seeing his confused expression, Avery continued. "There was this flan that was creeping along with what looked like a black scarf of some kind. It was quite funny looking, Director."
A black scarf. No, that wasn't a black scarf at all. That was Snow's. It was Snow's bandana that Hope had made fun of early on in their friendship, but had grown on him as time went on. Hope closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was Snow's. God, what else could it be? He took another deep breath.
"Avery," Hope's voice was soft and he wouldn't meet the eyes of the other man. "You can- tell everyone to go home for the night."
"Director?"
"I- Please, just tell everyone to go home. We can start again tomorrow, but I…"
"Have I said something wrong?"
Hope shook his head, but still refused to look at the man. "I need time to think about some things."
Avery made a noise like he was going to say something else, but instead nodded his head and went to go tell the other scientists to go home. As soon as Hope knew he was alone, he let his emotions out.
It stated with a small keening noise from his throat before tears gathered in his eyes. He'd never see Snow again. He had never said goodbye the first time, being in school, and now he'd never be able to say goodbye or hello or any other greetings that Hope so desperately wanted to give the man ever again. Why Snow? Why did it have to be Snow? Hope let out a watery laugh. Of course it'd be Snow. Snow was, as Noel said, reckless. He was dumb and stubborn and brave and strong and so many other things that made him Snow. Of course it'd be Snow. The tears didn't stop with that revelation, if anything they only increased.
"You really are an idiot, Snow," Hope whispered to the empty room. He gazed at his ark through the tears in his eyes. "You always were. You always talked about Serah and being a hero and how everything would be alright." He took a steadying breath. "But it's not. It's not alright. You were my best friend and I- I loved you so much. You made me laugh, you made me smile and god, you made me so happy. You made me so happy towards the end of our journey when I thought all hope was lost. And I knew you loved Serah, but I loved you." He took another deep breath. "And now, I'm going to have to live in a world where I know that if you do somehow come to this time that you've already died once. You died for doing the right thing and I've never wanted you to be more selfish. For once, I want my happiness to matter in the grand scheme of things."
The tears slowly slowed down to a trickle, but Hope said no more. Time would move forward, he couldn't dwell on a paradox, and he prayed it was just a paradox.
~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~
"You two be safe," Hope said, looking pointedly at both Noel and Serah.
Noel laughed. "What kind of fun is that?" he asked.
Serah opened her mouth to say something before pausing and giving Hope a questioning look. "You changed your wristband," she commented, nodding at his wrist.
Hope turned his gaze to his new wristband. While the yellow one had held more sentimental value, the black cloth was comforting. "I thought I would change it up a bit, I'll probably go back to the yellow one eventually."
When he saw Snow again, he'd change it back. Until then, the black cloth was Snow's scarf. He'd carry it for Snow as long as he'd need to.
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